Died and Woke Up as a Silver-Haired Beauty. But Everyone Around Me Is Insane

"I died."

The first thought that hit me the moment I opened my eyes was simple.

"...Ah, this is fucked."

Rank 1 hunter in all of Korea, and it didn't mean a damn thing.

That goddamn boss monster from the abyss had landed its final blow. My bones were probably scattered to the winds.

"Mmm..."

I opened my eyes to the fading afterimage of the system message. The first thing I felt was a strange, unfamiliar sensation. "What the hell is this?"

Every breath pressed down on my chest. Heavy... and strangely rounded. An alien feeling.

And then, the decisive part.

"...Huh?"

It was empty.

The thing that used to pitch a tent every morning and greet me so energetically. My precious partner of thirty years, the heavy pride of a man... was gone.

In its place was only smooth, flat skin. No, a slightly concave, unknown valley.

I slammed my fist into the floor and wailed. In frustration I grabbed at my chest, but what filled my hands was soft, unfamiliar flesh. Heavy, yielding meat.

"Agh! The texture is insane! Wait, this is really my body?!"

I shot up and stood in front of the bathroom mirror.

Silver hair that swayed with every movement. Skin so pale and translucent it looked bloodless. A fragile, peerless beauty who looked like she would shatter at the slightest touch stared back at me, clutching her own chest in horror.

Out of old habit I struck a bodybuilder pose in front of the mirror.

Crack.

"Aaaagh!"

My delicate shoulder blade nearly dislocated on the spot.

"...Wait. Don't tell me..."

With trembling fingers I touched the air. Despairing lines appeared.

"Aaaaaagh-!"

The Rank 1 stats were gone. I had become a glass cannon that could die ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠from a single scratch.

Staggering, I made my way down to the first-floor living room.

"Uh, Mom... It's me..."

"How are you Jinho?"

I listed every single one of our family's private embarrassments. Mom fainted the moment she realized her son had become a woman.

Meanwhile, Dad, who had been reading the newspaper on the sofa, adjusted his glasses and looked me up and down.

"Hohoho, our son turned out quite pretty. That bastard Chairman Kim always bragged about his daughter being beautiful, but I've won now. Well, as long as she's pretty, that's all that matters. Keh keh."

"Dad, are you in your right mind?!"

"If you're really our Jinho, then thank goodness. Son—no, daughter. Go catch yourself a rich guild master and get married. This old man will be satisfied with just one S-class luxury car. Keh keh."

Every single member of my family was insane.

The only person who could objectively deal with this crazy situation was one man.

Kim Taeseok. The main tanker who had fought alongside me for ten years, a two-meter mountain of muscle who felt like a little brother.

I called him. Less than ten minutes later, Taeseok burst through the door in a cloud of dust.

The moment he saw me, he froze in place.

"...Hyung?"

"Yeah. Pretty, right? At least I got that going for me."

"Is it really you, Hyung? Your revival trait was like this?! Thank god, seriously thank god... sob!"

Taeseok's teary gaze slowly slid down from my face to the area below my collarbone.

Shit.

I had rushed downstairs right after waking up. No bra, just a thin, loose white sleep shirt. The cold sweat from earlier had soaked through, making the fabric cling transparently to my skin.

"Hyung-nim... No, noona. No bra... gulp."

This crazy bastard was openly licking his lips while staring at my wet chest. The sound of him swallowing was loud enough to echo through the living room.

I, who used to be obsessed with hunting monsters! I, who practically lived in the Tower! He knew full well I was the Rank 1 hyung who raised him, yet—

"No bra is a win? Is that how good it is, you animal!!"

Shame and rage exploded. Out of old habit I launched my signature destructive skill—Wave Fist.

Booooom-!

The warning flashed at the same time the two-meter tanker was blasted out the front door like a cannonball.

He didn't just fly. He smashed straight through the old iron window frame of the corridor-style apartment and was flung at least ten meters outside, landing upside-down in the flowerbed of the opposite building.

But at the same moment, a terrible backlash tore through my own fragile new body.

"Kgh...!"

The power that could have once blown away an entire mountain had only managed to send one person flying. The penalty of this glass-cannon body was immediate. My organs twisted in agony and blood poured from my lips.

My legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor.

Outside, neighbors were murmuring at the sound of the destroyed front door. Beyond the wreckage, the tanker lay in the flowerbed with blood streaming from both nostrils, yet he still managed to give me a thumbs-up with an ecstatic expression.

"Noona... cough! Even the way you're sitting there bleeding... it's so... protective instincts... damn, that's hot..."

I was seriously considering launching another skill to send that lunatic straight to hell when—

Ding-!

A translucent holographic window suddenly appeared before my eyes. Dozens of them.

Ah, I was about to lose it.

These crazy gods had turned me into their toy and opened this channel? They were the ones who dropped my stats to 1?

Even a tentacle monster had latched on!

Rage boiled inside me, but then I remembered—I was still a thirty-something rough-and-tumble guy on the inside. No reason to act modest just because I had become a woman.

"Hah, fuck it. A Ranker has pride. What's there to be embarrassed about? In a capitalist society, money is everything. Fine, consider this fan service. Here, take a good look!"

With bold hands I yanked my thin shirt all the way up to my chest. The motion was crude, masculine, and utterly shameless—like some neighborhood uncle stripping his belly in the summer heat.

But what was revealed was a sweat-slicked, delicate waistline and pale skin, with the soft pink undersides of my breasts barely peeking out.

Wiping the blood from my lips with the back of my hand, I grinned cockily.

"How's that? Hot, right? If you want more, throw some sponsorships! Tip generously and I'll even take this wet shirt off and wring it out for you!"

The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠moment I said that—

"N-Noonaaa...!"

Kim Taeseok, who had been watching from outside the broken door, sprayed blood like a fountain and fainted for the second time, eyes rolled back.

Haa.

A fainted mother, a father already plotting to sell his daughter to a chaebol, a passed-out tanker, and perverted gods treating me like a toy.

This was insane.

What the hell was my future going to look like in this absolute madhouse?

Ding-!

With a cheerful chime, a translucent system window appeared before me.

"......What? Rebuilding bonds after TS? Additional stats?"

A vein popped on my forehead.

Hunting monsters in the Tower wasn't enough anymore?

They were putting lewd acts into the missions?

Ah, the world had gone mad.

Fine. Then I would go mad too.

Sponsorship money and stats? Just you wait.

This wasn't the old me before the TS.

This time, I was going to climb the Tower with proper preparation.