Episode 86. With Heart, Word, Deed, and Life 1

[April 10, 2019, Wednesday]

I decided to start writing a diary. It wasn't because of any major catalyst—I just felt like doing it. Or maybe I simply wanted to pick up a hobby.

Today, I took the April Mock Exam. To borrow an expression often used in articles, it was average. That's how it felt to me, and eavesdropping on my classmates' conversations, it seemed like everyone felt similarly. Of course, I only eavesdropped on the students who are good at studying.

And now there are 225 days left until the CSAT. No, since it's past midnight now, there are 224 days left. Time really flies by like an arrow. It feels like just the other day there were 300 days left, and already so much time has passed.

(Blank space)

(Blank space)

(Scribbly doodles)

Truthfully, I don't have many worthwhile stories to write. Thinking about it, that's obvious. I'm just living the same monotonous life every day: waking up, eating, going to school, coming home, and studying.

And it's the same at home. Mother is as consistently indifferent as usual, and my sibling is too timid to say much.

(Doodles with numbers)

Well, there was one small incident today.

It involves my sibling, and it happened just two or three hours ago.

After studying hard at the study cafe and returning home, I found the house empty. It's normal for Mother to not be home around this time, so that was fine, but I couldn't sense my sibling's presence either.

Just as I was thinking it was strange and about to take off my backpack and enter my room, I heard a weird sound. It sounded like a small animal sniffing lightly, coughing, and sniffling—there was no doubt it was the sound of crying.

The sound was coming from my sibling's room. I tiptoed closer to the door in my socks to listen, and it was confirmed. Worried that something serious might have happened, I immediately yanked the door open.

Then I saw my sibling. They had turned off all the lights and were crying their eyes out while watching a movie. No, they were outright sobbing.

For some reason, it was absurd. "Hey, are you crying?" I asked with a hollow laugh, but they said no. Then, seemingly embarrassed, my sibling tore off some tissue and vigorously wiped their face.

I glanced at the monitor. Coincidentally, it was a movie I'd seen before. I don't remember it being this sad, but then again, they and I are a bit different. Well, that's obvious since we're different people.

My sibling didn't just turn off the movie; they shut down the computer entirely and came out. I followed. Then they went into the bathroom, washed their face, and even brushed their teeth. I just stood there blankly, listening to the sound of water gushing from the tap and the abrasive scrubbing of toothbrush on teeth, though I don't know why.

After drying their face with a towel and coming out to the living room, my sibling asked me, "Is it weird?"

Is it weird?

My body instantly froze solid. As if pinned down by sleep paralysis, I couldn't move a single finger.

I tried to say something, but my mouth wouldn't open; only the corners of my lips trembled faintly.

I gulped down the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠thickened saliva and, instead of answering, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠barely managed to playfully tap my sibling's shoulder before fleeing into my room.

Along with a subtle disgust, a nauseating feeling of revulsion bubbled up fiercely in my stomach. My heart clanked heavily like a subway train. Is it weird? You're asking if it's weird?

Yeah, the answer that immediately came to mind then was, of course, 'It's not weird.' No matter how stoic someone is, they can still cry. It's hardly a big deal.

But in the end, I couldn't say those words and hastily fled here. It's not weird. It's absolutely not weird, but...

(Blank space)

(Water stain marks)

I clearly thought it was okay, that it was understandable. I comprehended and accepted it logically. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠But the reaction that ultimately came out was flight and nausea. As if the sight of my sibling doing that was so disgusting I couldn't possibly endure it, even now I'm covering my mouth, my hand trembling as I scribble these words.

I don't know the reason. I don't find my sibling repulsive. In fact, I feel grateful to that kid. Or maybe it's an even stronger bond. But I really wish they wouldn't cry. Is that what this means, truly?

Let me think properly. Do I simply wish they 'wouldn't cry'? Or...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

"Ah...!"

I woke up almost screaming. My head hurt as if it were splitting.

Holding my forehead, I slowly sat up. My crotch was oddly damp.

'What is this? ......Ah.'

The memory of last night shot through my mind like an arrow.

"......"

Immediately, a deep sense of post-climax clarity washed over me. Along with shame.

I glanced down at the blanket. It was a mess. Soaked not with 'pussy water'—but with arousal fluids and sweat.

'What on earth did I do?'

Rubbing my pussy blatantly on the blanket and claiming it wasn't masturbation?

Am I in my right mind???

"...No, I'm not in my right mind. Right."

Of course, I've lost my mind.

Especially since I'm still wearing this slip I had on, it was more like that strange, bizarre, and peculiar intuition and personality forcibly drove me.

I grabbed the sleeve of the slip and pulled it over my head. It came off surprisingly easily. Maybe because I was thinking I had to go to school.

Then I took off my panties too, and gathered the mattress pad, blanket, slip, and panties all into my arms.

"Eugh...?!"

As the laundry came close to my face, the peculiar smell deeply embedded in the fabric forced its way into my nose. Instantly, a sharp pain shot through my lower abdomen, and my legs nearly gave way.

Holding my breath as much as possible, I stuffed everything into the laundry hamper.

"Ha, seriously."

I let out a hollow laugh and clenched my fist tightly.

The scariest thing in this situation was my attitude of not being particularly concerned, even though my body was turning into something perverted.

The remodeling of my body.

Isn't that something worthy of being terrified about?

But aside from shame and anger, I didn't really care much.

"......"

Yeah, realizing that makes it clearer.

The fact that me getting hypnotized by that girl, being fucked at her whim, and hearing all sorts of outrageous insults... isn't the fundamental root of the problem existing within me now.

The hypnotic brainwashing rape is just the flame that ignites the fuse. The real bomb is something else entirely.

Of course!!! That's not to say those three things are insignificant.

It really feels disgusting though...

'Ugh, I don't know.'

In the end, the result of my contemplation is this again today.

I really don't know.

That girl and I.

Just how far will we go?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I had a triangle kimbap for breakfast, washed up cleanly with warm water, and changed into my school uniform. Then I headed to school while reading a web novel that had updated after a long time.

Perhaps because I moved so quickly, I ended up arriving at school 40 minutes early.

'This is trouble.'

At such an early hour, the only person in the classroom would be Master—

*Slap!*

The only person in the classroom would be that damn succubus.

Rubbing my stinging cheek with my fingers, I pondered deeply.

'Should I just loiter somewhere and go in closer to homeroom time?'

"......"

...That's a bit pathetic.

It's just like a loser who, because someone is sitting in their seat during break time, pointlessly loiters in the hallway, scans the timetable, and reads the 'Performance Assessment Notice' posted on the wall to kill time.

I stood blankly near the school gate, lost in thought.

"Agh, I'll just go in."

In the end, I decided to go in like a man. My pride was hurt by agonizing so much over just one person, and it felt like I was dragging it out too much.

So I boldly crossed the school track field, entered through the main entrance, and hurriedly ran up the stairs two or three steps at a time.

Before I knew it, I was in front of our classroom.

Poking just my head through the window on the door to peek inside, sure enough, only In Seyeon was there.

Seyeon was reading a book upright with a cold, expressionless face, behaving primly.

'Her, her......'

Look at her reading so fucking shamelessly.

After sending me that kind of video yesterday.

'Maybe I should just report her for a cyber sex crime.'

Distribution of obscenity, indecency via telecommunications media, etc... There are plenty of charges that could stick.

That girl needs to be hit hard by the hammer of the law once to come to her senses.

If that day ever comes, even if she gets on her knees and begs me profusely later, I won't go easy on her.

"Hoo."

After forcefully calming myself with foolish delusions, I slid the back door open.

Immediately, Seyeon turned to look this way like lightning.

"......"

"......"

Whoosh—

Seyeon's expression brightened surprisingly. Her eyes, which seemed to coldly glance, opened wide, and the corners of her mouth curled up as if pulled by hooks.

I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them.

"Yubin-ah!"

Almost throwing her book down, Seyeon immediately got up from her seat and came dashing—*tadadadat*—toward me.

"Uh, uh...!"

What, why is she running at me all of a sudden!

I hesitated, flustered, my steps faltering.

Seyeon paid no attention to my reaction and just kept running straight.

Swishhh—

Seyeon ran toward me like a shot, her eyebrows practically flying.

Thud— *Crash!*

I inevitably collided with Seyeon with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a bang, helplessly landing hard on my butt and falling noisily.

"Ayyuk... Hey, what are you doing."

"......"

Half-lying down, I groaned and complained, while Seyeon looked at me with a sweet smile, tilting her head and staring intently.

"What, what is it, why."

"......"

Surprised and baffled, I stammered the question from my lying position.

After staring at me wordlessly like that, Seyeon—

"Eut, eueup?!"

Just like that, she kissed me.

'...?!'

My eyes opened wide.

A kiss? Right here in the middle of the hallway?

I punched Seyeon's arm *thump thump*, but she showed no intention of pulling her lips away.

'Has she lost her mind?'

As if to eliminate any sign of resistance from the start, Seyeon pried open my lips and pushed her tongue deep inside.

"Eup, jjook, jjok, heueut, chyoo, heeu......"

"Ung, heueuk?! Chyooop, heup, aheut, chyoooooob...♡"

'Ah, eut...♡'

My fist, which was initially punching her arm *thump, thump*, gradually weakened, changing to light taps like *kong, kong*.

I, I shouldn't be doing this.

Right now, school, eut♡ It's school.

If other students see......

My legs, which had been flailing like a fish, also grew quiet, my toes twitching as I stopped resisting.

"Hoo, eut, chyooop, heup, euung, jjok, jjooook......."

"Heet♡ Ah, haeup, chyooop, tziak, jjook, chyurrup...♡"

Seyeon gently stroked the back of my head with her hand, using her long, smooth tongue to press down firmly♡ on my tongue, repeatedly coiling and releasing. Thick saliva dripped down below my lips.

I, before I knew it, was lovingly hugging Seyeon... Seyeon tightly with both arms. I opened my mouth a little wider to let her torment my precious place more freely, opening my throat roundly and beginning to obey.

'No, shouldn't. Shouldn't be doing this, ah......♡'

With each gasp for breath during the intense kiss, Master's—no, Seyeon's sweet scent spread deep throughout my body, and already my lower abdomen was throbbing achingly.

'Kiss, kisss...♡'

Even the thought that this is wrong, that other students might see, disappeared like sugar melting away as the precious, sensitive parts inside my mouth were poked and stimulated, my mind turning idiotically so that only the thought of kissing Master remained, no, no, I shouldn't...?

"Heueuk♡ Ung, chyooop, hikk, eup, ueum, gulgguk...♡"

Master, Se, Seyeon, heut♡ As I kept swallowing Master's, Seyeon's sweet saliva, ung, my head felt floaty, and I had to struggle to keep my pupils from rolling up stupidly.

Because, when kissing... it's common sense to gaze affectionately at the noble Master, flash a cute smile, and act coy to the fullest. Hehe♡

'No, that's not it, but...?'

Pfft, pyuut...♡

In the end, I—no, I, I... tightly clenched my knees together and shyly trickled out warm pussy water, uh, yo...♡

From my cervix to my ovaries, everything trembled helplessly, and even though it wasn't ovulation day, my ripe egg was preparing to spurt out, *pong, pong*♡—

Jjook♡ Chyoooop.......

"Eup, heueut?! Haa, haa, hoooo......"

My mind, which had been enveloped in a steamy haze, suddenly cleared. It seemed our lips had parted.

>

Looking ahead through tear-blurred vision, Seyeon was still on top of me, wearing a seductive smile as she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. I could see saliva, turned into threads, stretching out.

"Haa, haa, hey, In Seyeon, are you crazy?!"

"No?"

"Heueu, no, wha, what if other students see!"

"They won't. No, they can't see."

"Ha, seriously, I'm speechless....."

I wiped my damp mouth with my sleeve.

"Why did you cause such a scene the moment you saw me!"

"Yubin-ah. How can you do such pretty things?"

"...What?"

"Honestly, I barely held back from going to your house right then and fucking you senseless."

"......"

"Wearing a slip, closing your eyes, opening your mouth... Really, I'm proud of myself for holding back until morning. Yeah."

I stared at Seyeon with a dazed expression.

"Come on, get up."

Seyeon, who was sitting on top of my stomach, slowly got up and reached out a hand to me.

I took Seyeon's hand and barely managed to lift my still-weakened body. My forehead was hot. I could feel a sticky sensation from my panties.