Episode 69. Kurtosis 1
Episode 69. Kurtosis 1
"Ugh, mmm......"
I rubbed my eyes and woke up. From the window, a loud horn blared like waves crashing in. That was probably what woke me up. The horn abruptly stopped, soon replaced by shouting and loud swearing. That's a common occurrence in this neighborhood.
'What time is it?'
I turned on the phone I kept by my bedside to check the time.
It was 50 minutes earlier than when I usually wake up.
I got up groggily and stumbled my way to the bathroom. I pulled down my pants and underwear and sat on the toilet.
Trickle, trickle, trickle......
"Huu......"
It felt less like I was peeing and more like my soul was draining out. From my crotch, I felt a discomfort that wasn't major but was enough to be irritating.
It was probably the aftereffects of yesterday's sexual activity.
As soon as I remembered that, my heart started pounding and my body began to tremble, so I hurriedly thought of something else.
'The bracelet.'
After peeing, I suddenly remembered. The bracelet I'd been wearing constantly at some point was gone.
I wiped my crotch with toilet paper, flushed, went out to the living room, and searched around, but I couldn't find it.
Did Seyeon leave it at the dormitory?
As I was thinking that, I felt a sort of intuition and, as if hypnotized, reached for my school uniform.
The bracelet was in the skirt pocket.
I stared blankly at the bracelet, gleaming a turquoise color as it reflected the morning sunlight.
'...Since when have I been carrying this around?'
I can't remember.
In cases like this, the answer is obviously predetermined.
'Seyeon must have made me wear it while I was hypnotized.'
But why?
If it's just for decoration, she could have given it to me when I was in my right mind.
"......"
As I pondered this deeply, a fragmentary image flashed through my mind.
Me, receiving a paper bag from Seyeon in the dormitory. Listening to something.
"......Ugh, haa."
Then, suddenly, my head buzzed with a sharp pain, and I plopped down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment.
But, I managed to recall it.
'So that's why... for doing it from behind.'
I think I vaguely remember. Its purpose was to empty my stomach.
Before, no matter how hard I tried, I could never recall the blank periods in my memory, but now it seems I can, to some extent.
'Could it be... because our personalities are mixing?'
If that's the case, it's a terrifying thought.
Anyway, I picked up the bracelet with my thumb and index finger as if it were something filthy and thought.
'Should I wear this?'
This bracelet that Seyeon hypnotized me into wearing by force for the convenience of her games.
Naturally, I have no desire to wear it anymore.
However.
I have a clear memory.
A very shameful memory of Seyeon giving me an enema with a slime in the dormitory.
If I don't have the bracelet, I might have to go through that again.
I clenched my fist, agonized, and eventually put the bracelet on my wrist.
Immediately, a strange sensation, a sssss, came from deep inside my stomach and then vanished.
"...Hoo."
A subtle sense of shame and humiliation crept up on me.
Of course, on the surface, there's no problem. Anyone would want to avoid being forced to have an enema, especially one for sexual purposes.
But... the fact that I'm worrying about such vulgar things first thing in the morning and ended up putting on the bracelet as Seyeon intended made me feel incredibly ashamed, as if I were diligently preparing and emptying myself out in advance to meet Seyeon at night.
"......"
I got up silently and opened the refrigerator. I hastily ate a retort pouch meal for breakfast and went into the bathroom to wash up.
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Shoooowaaah- Drip.
I turned off the faucet and just stood there blankly. Droplets dripped from my chin.
A sudden chill made me shiver, and I moved slightly to stand in front of the mirror.
I saw myself.
I normally have bangs, but after washing my face, my forehead was completely exposed. Water droplets trickled down my face, giving off a somewhat pitiful vibe.
Every time I see it, I think my appearance is truly unbelievable.
I looked over my body. Like it was the first day.
My chest.
"......"
I was startled for a moment.
I suddenly felt like my chest had gotten much bigger.
No, it wasn't just a feeling; it was probably real.
Clearly, on the first day I possessed this body, they weren't this big. They were just a nice handful.
But now......
They seemed to have swollen up to almost 1.5 times their size.
I had realized my chest was growing before when my bra size didn't fit, but I didn't know they would swell up this much.
'So that's why the boys kept sneaking glances......'
Especially during sparring sessions with a lot of movement, I often felt those lecherous gazes.
Of course, I don't really want to blame them. I was a guy too, after all.
But I couldn't help feeling somehow dirty.
"Hoo."
And the tips of my breasts, my nipples... thankfully, hadn't changed much.
They were still a soft peach pink, but they felt... permanently erect?
If I went braless, they'd show through my clothes way too much.
I rarely had a reason to scrutinize my own nipples, and I always wore nipple patches, so this was a change I hadn't noticed normally.
'When I'm in heat... no, when I'm aroused, they get like this.'
I have no idea what the principle is, but it had become routine for my soft nipples to become stiff and erect once the mood was sufficiently ripe. I had no clue why.
'It's kind of fascinating.'
Thinking that, I let out a hollow laugh a moment later.
Fascinating?
After everything that's happened?
To find the knowledge that was forcibly implanted in me while I was just being played with and raped by her "fascinating"?
"Tch......"
I guess when your mental state shatters, you start having disjointed thoughts.
I stopped observing my body and went outside.
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On the way to school.
My feet walking on the sun-warmed pavement felt as heavy as if they were weighted down with sandbags. It was even harder to move my body than yesterday.
"Haa."
Naturally, it was because I had to see Seyeon again.
Of course, she won't think anything of it. Given her brazen personality, even if she meets me with a scowl, she'll probably just smile brightly and say hello.
But I... with what face should I meet that girl?
How on earth......
'And there's the problem of school life too.'
Regular classes are fine, but sparring classes are done in teams... so maintaining good relations with my teammates is more important than anything.
Can I work well with her as a team? In this ruined situation.
'I guess this is how people feel doing group projects with an ex.'
In my case, of course, she wasn't a lover... but our relationship might have gone beyond just friends.
At least, it felt that way to me. To me, who had only received false affection in my past life, Seyeon seemed to have given me genuine feelings.
But that wasn't the case.
'What do I do now?'
Moreover, Seyeon is quite popular. With her superhuman looks and her soft, gentle personality (on the surface), it's no wonder both guys and girls are drawn to her.
Therefore, I can't openly antagonize her. It would be different if rumors spread that she raped me, but would Seyeon just sit back and let me reveal that? There's no proof anyway.
I'd rather transfer to some faraway school, but that's obviously not going to happen. Seyeon, who's smarter than me, must have already considered anything I might think of.
Even if I tried to run away in the dead of night, the highly capable Seyeon would track me down and catch me in no time.
In the end, I'm essentially trapped in the Academy.
'What should I really do?'
"......"
I walked along blankly for a while, lost in thought.
Vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom-
A motorcycle without a muffler zoomed past me coolly.
'...I shouldn't think like this.'
My thoughts were turning negative.
Think anew. Don't get stuck in a rut, break the habit, and adopt a positive mindset.
Seyeon betrayed my feelings. That is an undeniable fact. A brutal truth enough to shatter my already hardened heart into even smaller pieces.
But... so what?
Even if Seyeon acts friendly and clingy towards me, I can just accept it appropriately and move on. Pushing her away outright would be awkward.
Can't I just endure being forcibly summoned in the evenings? The Director is there for the personality mixing, so it'll probably be fine. Somehow. Positively.
Besides, I'm not my past self anymore. There are plenty of people at school who like me besides Seyeon. Eunbyeol, Chaerin, Minjeong, and many other girls.
Eunbyeol pleaded with her father on behalf of me, just a teammate, to get me an expensive examination for free.
Chaerin and Minjeong kindly accepted me, laughing and chatting, even though I gave off a desperately loser vibe when we first met.
The other girls are the same. Their tone is affectionate by default, they burst out laughing at anything I say, and they play along well.
It's about accepting the pure goodwill coming from others. From now on.
I just need to accept it.
Yeah, I just need to accept it.
'...Like how I accepted Seyeon's goodwill?'
"......"
Before I knew it, I had stopped dead in my tracks on the street.
"Haa......"
I can't do this.
Do I have to lose all trust in other people because of Seyeon?
She's just a special case. Like it's always been.
The world is full of people who become friends and lovers without suspicion.
So one more time......
With my fists clenched, I strode purposefully towards school. Sweat trickled down my nape. It was hard. It seemed like it would be really hard.