I Have to Buy Underwear
"Thank you, boss!"
Haru caught her breath and took Hana from Kim Sehee's arms. Hana reached out, as if that embrace had been too comfortable to leave, but her hands fell short. Kim Sehee wanted to keep playing with her just as badly, yet there was work that wouldn't wait, and she had no choice but to swallow the regret and let go.
"Have a good time with Hana."
"You're not gonna play with us, boss?"
Hana asked from where she was cradled against Haru, but Kim Sehee shook her head, the wistfulness plain in her voice.
"I want to play with you too, Hana. I just can't right now. What a shame."
Kim Sehee stroked Hana's hair with a gentle hand. Hana didn't seem to mind the touch in the slightest; she smiled and let herself be petted. Once Kim Sehee had gone, Haru set her down on the floor and fixed her with a stern look.
"Hana! You are not allowed to wander off from me. Understand?"
"I-I'm sorry, Haru. I won't get separated next time!"
Haru looked at her and pressed on.
"Do you have any idea how scared I was when you vanished all of a sudden? And you didn't even answer your phone!"
"Hiiing..."
Hana had no choice but to take the scolding Haru poured over her. The fault was hers, after all—she was the one who had gone darting all over the place. Haru had been perfectly clear that she was not to leave her side.
"Well, we found you, so that's that! We'll play a little longer before we head out, all right?"
"Okay!"
Haru took Hana's hand, and the two of them wandered here and there. The grapes Hana had eaten that day alone must have come to several whole bunches, and they were so delicious and so sweet that her stomach filled itself without her noticing. It felt like the first real feast she'd had in a long time.
"Haaahm!"
Maybe it was because I'd eaten so many grapes yesterday, but a sweet scent kept circling in my mouth. The kind of sweetness that wouldn't leave even after I brushed my teeth. At least it wasn't pasty, so I didn't mind. Still—brushing and having this much sweetness left behind... My grapes really were something else.
Something else was bothering me, though. My chest felt itchy and ticklish. Early on after the possession I hadn't felt much of anything there, but it seemed my chest had grown a little. I pulled a miserable face. It was still a sheer cliff, practically, but the faintest curve had appeared. I really was becoming a girl.
My heart felt strangely unsettled. As a man, I could never have imagined this. I hadn't even been some guy with gynecomastia; I'd had no reason whatsoever to spare a thought for my chest. Now I had no choice. Even in a T-shirt, it rubbed.
Still wearing that miserable look, I went looking for Maru. She was in the office, hammering away at her keyboard. I caught her by the sleeve.
"Maru, my chest is rubbing..."
"Uh... huh?"
The moment she understood what I'd said, she scooped me up and shot out of the office at the speed of light. She moved so fast I could have sworn she left an afterimage. Of course Maru wasn't a hunter, and there hadn't really been an afterimage. That was just in my head.
She set me down in the room and scanned the surroundings, checking every corner as carefully as a thief about to pull a job. Then she looked at me.
"Hana. You have to watch what you say! You're a little girl. You can't talk like that where there are men around."
"Why can't I talk about my chest?"
"Because that's a secret between girls. There's no need for the men to hear it, Hana!"
"Okay. Then I'll only tell Bora, Haru, and you."
I'd been too careless. It really was a bit much to bring up chests in a room full of men. Thinking it over again, I'd said it far too boldly. My cheeks warmed. No matter how little I felt it myself, I was a little girl...
"Hana. Mind taking your shirt off for a second?"
Maru's hands moved to ease my T-shirt off. I shot both arms straight up so it would come away easily, and once it was off she brushed a hand over my chest. Her hand was warm.
"Hmm... I think it's time you started wearing a junior bra."
She pulled the T-shirt back onto me. As it settled into place, I had no idea what she was talking about. I knew what a bra was—something women wore—but I'd never heard of a junior bra. Curiosity got the better of me.
"What's that, Maru?"
"Well... there's a bra that elementary school kids wear. You're still little, after all."
"Can't I wear the same kind of bra you wear?"
"You're still little. Let's wait until you're bigger, okay?"
Maru's chest was large, and I had no idea how long it would take me to get that big. Middle school at the earliest, probably. Or maybe it would never grow at all. Honestly, I hoped it stayed small.
If it got big, it would get in the way every time I moved, and my shoulders would ache. I couldn't see a single upside to a large chest. People said men liked them, but I wasn't going to date a man. It would only be a burden.
"Hiiing..."
"I've actually got some time today. Want to go buy one together, Hana?"
"Yeah!"
I had no choice but to trust Maru's eye. Having lived as a man, I knew absolutely nothing about women's underwear. That was only natural. Anyone who knew women's underwear well was either a playboy or a pervert! There was no other way to explain that kind of knowledge.
"Then wait in the room for a bit... I need to go tell the department head. And of course, the fact that we're going to buy you underwear is a secret, so we're going to say we have to go buy clothes. Got our story straight?"
Nod, nod.
I nodded to show I understood. Just as Maru said, announcing that we were going out to buy underwear would have been mortifying. When I'd been a man, I could have said I was off to buy underwear without a second thought, and it hadn't been embarrassing at all, because men's underwear had no appeal whatsoever.
If anything, men's underwear sat in the same category as ordinary clothes—neither out in the world nor on the internet did anyone find much to desire in it. Women's underwear was different. Compared to when I'd been a man, the embarrassment was on another level entirely. My cheeks had gone red the moment I'd brought it up to Maru just so we could go buy some.
Fortunately Maru was a woman, and she understood the predicament. If this had been a company full of nothing but men, like the army, there wouldn't have been a single person I could have told. Before that, I wasn't even sure I could have stayed here at all. So I sat on the bed and waited for her to come back.
A few minutes later she opened the door and came in, car keys in one hand. The plan to go out seemed to have been settled without a hitch. I ran to her.
"Hana, let's go!"
"Okay!"
I trailed along at her heels toward the elevator. The employees nearby, thinking I was off to buy clothes, offered their well-wishes.
"Hana, going clothes shopping? I wish I could come too!"
"If you came along, you'd scare her."
A few of the men tossed out pointless jokes along the way. One look from Maru's crackling glare, though, and they yelped and looked away. For a new hire, she seemed to wield tremendous power.
And so we got in the car in the parking garage and set off for the nearest department store. The research building was far enough out that the drive would take a good several dozen minutes.
Step by reluctant step, I had no choice but to drag my unwilling feet forward. Maru had me by the hand and was telling me to hurry up. I could not accept the reality spread out before my eyes. I couldn't even begin to imagine whether any of this made sense.
"Hana. Why are you so embarrassed? This is proof that you're growing up, so there's nothing to be shy about! I buy most of the underwear you'll be wearing right here, too."
Yes. That was the problem. Buying underwear was not something you could manage with an ordinary state of mind. If it had been men's underwear, I would have known the size roughly, grabbed whatever, and been done with it. I only ever wore boxer briefs anyway, so there was no reason to try anything on—and if I'd told a clerk I wanted to, they would have looked at me like I was strange.
Who in the world tries on men's boxer briefs before they buy them?
But the place I was walking into now was different. The colors alone were far too vivid. Coming from displays of nothing but drab underwear into a place full of brilliant colors and lace, I couldn't keep my head on straight.
"M-Maru, now that I think about it, I don't think I really need one!"
I said it and tried to bolt back outside, but Maru's solid frame blocked my path.
"Eh..."
"Hana! We're settling this today!"
"Waaah!"
Dragged along by her hand, I had no choice but to step into a forbidden world.