The Classic Cliché Took a Hard Left Turn
The guy who’d been sitting right next to me let out a long groan. “Ughhh… I surrender…”
Thud! He toppled backward and hit the floor. All around him, the guild hall was already littered with collapsed bodies.
“Sigh…”
I was the only one still sitting upright. I let out a small sigh, an empty beer mug dangling uselessly from my hand.
“This isn’t what I had in mind at all…”
How the hell did it end up like this?
When the first guy had approached me, I’d actually been excited. This exact situation—someone openly picking a fight—was precisely what I’d been hoping for. In fact, it was the whole reason I’d come to the guild in the first place.
The news that some total stranger had earned Dante’s recognition was bound to spread. I wanted to see how people would react. Would they accept it without question?
No way in hell.
Suspicion would naturally follow. It was the most classic, overused cliché in the book. So I’d deliberately raised my voice and started talking about Dante, loud enough for everyone to hear. I wanted to provoke a reaction.
And just as expected—
“This little squirt says he received Dante-nim’s recognition?”
A massive man reeking of alcohol swaggered over, shoulders swaying.
Finally.
I thought I’d finally get to experience one of those classic newbie events. I’d never gone through a proper beginner phase before, so this was new territory for me. My heart actually fluttered with anticipation.
The chat window seemed just as excited.
The man stopped in front of me and slowly looked me up and down, from my toes to the top of my head. When our eyes finally met, he smirked.
“I don’t believe you.”
He said the exact line I’d been waiting for.
Yes! There it is…
Hiding my excitement, I delivered the line I’d prepared for the next part of the scene.
“You don’t believe me? So what are you gonna do about it?”
The man leaned in slightly, then hiccupped.
“Hic… What am I gonna do? I don’t know about that. But prove it. Prove that you really received Dante-nim’s recognition.”
“And how exactly am I supposed to prove it?”
“The time-honored tradition of us hunters, of course.”
“Time-honored tradition? What’s that?”
It’s obviously going to be a duel, right?
In the world I came from, hunters lived on the edge of death, constantly fighting. The constant tension left them exhausted and irritable. Sometimes a single misplaced word was enough to start a brawl. The Association was always dealing with hunter disputes.
These people were hunters too. They couldn’t be that different.
I slowly loosened up my joints, heart racing with excitement as I waited for the man’s next words.
“What is it then?”
The atmosphere inside the guild gradually grew tense. Someone audibly swallowed in the silence.
Come on, say it already. It’s a fight, right?
Just as I was staring him down in the heavy silence—
The man suddenly grinned.
Thud!
He slammed an enormous drinking glass onto the reception counter. I had no idea where he’d pulled it from.
“It’s obviously a drinking battle!!!!”
“Kya!!! It’s been so long!!!”
“Innkeeper! More beer over here!!!!”
“Innkeeper my ass! If you’re drunk, go sleep it off in your room!”
“Kyahahahahaha!!”
In the blink of an eye, the entire guild had transformed into a festival atmosphere. I was the only one left standing there like a lost child, completely frozen.
“Huh?”
They were twisting the cliché like this?
Still stunned, I could only stare at the man. He leaned his face right into mine.
“Scared?”
The moment the word left his mouth, I snatched the beer mug off the counter.
“Bring it on.”
And now, back to the present.
I’d already knocked out over a dozen grown men with nothing but alcohol. I rested my chin on my hand and grumbled.
“Why the hell wasn’t it a duel…”
“You should’ve told me that in advance. I got all excited for nothing.”
“Ah, that?”
It wasn’t that complicated. But to understand it, you first had to know this.
“Even though this is a game, how do you think we’re able to taste things?”
It was something I’d simply glossed over before. Food, drinks—how could we taste anything or feel full in a game that was supposed to be nothing more than data?
It all came down to the brain.
The moment we entered full-dive, our brains were already connected to the capsule. When the game sent a signal, the capsule transmitted it directly to our brains. Our brains then accepted the nonexistent sensation as real and processed it as truth.
Of course, there were risks involved, which was why the capsule had an automatic shutdown system after a certain amount of time. But anyway.
That was why we could experience eating real food inside the game.
“So if you filter out only the ‘intoxication’ signal going to the brain, you can drink without getting drunk. Like me.”
“Hmm…”
Was this too difficult for them?
Later, the guys who finally regained consciousness gave me a thumbs-up and left with refreshed smiles, shouting things like, “As expected of the hunter Dante-nim acknowledged!”
“See you later!!”
“Thanks for the good time!!”
“If we get the chance, let’s go hunting together!!”
“Hahaha!!!”
Watching them leave, I felt a headache coming on even though I had zero hangover.
What the hell is going on…
I needed a change of pace.
I left Reina, who had volunteered to drink with me and was still wobbling around, at the guild and picked up a simple quest before heading outside the outpost. My body was itching again because I’d expected a proper fight and didn’t get one. I figured I’d just hunt some monsters and blow off some steam.
“By the way, does this game even have a story?”
Was it really just about killing monsters? I’d been playing without thinking much, but I didn’t feel like any major plot was progressing.
“Oh, really?”
“Then it’s fine if you don’t tell me. I’ll find out myself. Anyone who spoils it on purpose will be banned.”
I nodded and followed the guide bug just like last time, heading toward my destination. The quest I’d taken was, of course, a subjugation request. The target was a pack of Dirty Mongas.
They were the kind of pests that threw poop at passersby, cackled, and ran away. They were also vicious—if a hunter got too close, they’d swarm and attack. Normally, the smart thing was to avoid them.
But during the last merchant caravan, these bastards had forced the traders to throw away all their goods because of the filth. The merchants were furious and posted the request themselves. The reward was generous and there were plenty of them, so I picked it.
Anna had asked if I’d be okay, but…
Fighting one-on-one is one thing, but fighting a group has its own flavor.
The thrill of sensing attacks coming from every direction, the dopamine rush that came from slipping through an encirclement like it was choreographed.
I’d already tasted one-on-one combat with Dante. Now it was time for a different flavor.
After walking for what felt like forever, the guide bug finally chirped to signal that we’d arrived.
Chirrr.
It was spinning in circles on top of a massive pile of dung. From the fresh smell, it looked like the pack had been here just moments ago.
They’re monkeys, right?
Given the name Monga, they apparently had monkey-like habits. So their location would most likely be—
Up there.
I looked up. Sure enough, five Dirty Mongas were staring down at me from the branches of a massive tree. Each one was holding a handful of poop. The moment they spotted me, they flashed nasty grins and started hurling it.
“Uki-ki-ki-ya!”
The dung flew at me fast. Now I understood why the viewers had said it was best to avoid Dirty Monga quests.
This is way more disgusting than I expected.
I used quick backsteps to dodge the incoming projectiles.
My frantic dodging must have looked hilarious, because the Dirty Mongas clutched their stomachs and burst into laughter from the tree branches.
“Ukkyakkyakkya!!”
They think I can’t attack them because they’re up in the tree…
I slipped behind the tree for a moment, grabbed a handful of small pebbles, and quickly moved between the trunks. As I kept using the trees for cover and closed in, the monkeys got angry and started throwing even more dung.
I dodged every single piece without letting a speck touch me. The moment they entered my range—
Whoosh!
I hurled the pebbles at them with blinding speed.
Crack!
The first stone smashed straight into the eye of the monkey at the front. It fell—
Thud!!
Splat!!
—and landed face-first in the very pile of dung it had thrown.
The area above grew quiet. I looked up at the remaining monkeys and gave them a savage grin.
“That’s one down.”
“No thanks.”