Lotte World
It had seemed like a brilliant idea, but after giving it a bit more thought, I discovered two problems.
First, I had no real way of getting in touch with Chiwon. It goes without saying that I couldn't use my own phone number, and buying a new phone was impossible without an ID. A virtual number would let me set up social media accounts like KakaoTalk or Facebook, but that alone wouldn't be enough. Think about it — someone you can reach online but never by phone? Anybody would find that suspicious.
Fortunately, this problem solved itself quickly enough. While I was digging around for one workaround after another, I stumbled onto a promising idea.
'A Two-Number Service?'
The carriers offered a plan that let a single phone run two separate numbers. It would add a few thousand won to my monthly bill, but if it meant I could contact Chiwon without a hitch, that was nothing. It was far too late tonight, though — I'd apply tomorrow.
One problem down, one to go. And this one came from an entirely different direction than the contact issue — which was exactly what made it so much harder.
'What if Chiwon falls for me?'
If Chiwon ever confessed to me, I would have no choice but to refuse. Obviously. Posing as his girlfriend was far too dangerous. In some careless moment the zipper down my back could get spotted, or I might answer his call having forgotten to put the leather on at all.
But if I turned down his confession, Chiwon would be hurt — that much was certain. I tried picturing it: you confess to your ideal woman, the one a friend introduced you to, and the answer that comes back is, "Could we maybe just stay friends?" Horrifying.
"Haah… how am I supposed to handle this…"
My head ached. To keep from hurting Chiwon, I would have to keep up a lie on a scale I'd never attempted before. And the conclusion I reached, caught between options I could neither choose nor abandon, was…
'I'll think about it a little later. I have to go clothes shopping anyway, so I'll figure it out then.'
An irresponsible deferral. Like a fool who covers his eyes and believes the world has vanished, I simply gave up on thinking. I'd done this before, after all — there was the assignment I postponed and postponed until I was pulling an all-nighter to submit it the day it was due. Just like then, I knew the moment I'd have to decide would come eventually. For now, though, I only looked away. And, naturally…
"Um, I'm really looking forward to today!"
"Ah, yes. Likewise… I'm… looking forward to it too."
I still hadn't decided by the time I stood face to face with Chiwon, dressed in the leather.
Let me retrace how everything unfolded. The day after the package arrived, I called my carrier and signed up for the Two-Number Service; the day after that, I reached out to Chiwon with the words, "I can set you up on a blind date." When he looked over the photo I'd sent and thanked me, saying she was exactly his type, I had to pin down a heart pounding with guilt. I'm sorry, Chiwon. Truly, I am.
After that, we made plans for the date and traded conversation about this and that — where I lived, what my hobbies were, whether I had a favorite food… I did my best to talk in a way that didn't sound like me, though I couldn't say how well that went. Should I count myself lucky he never asked why the phone number was so new?
The day before our date, I bought clothes at a department store: shorts, a short-sleeved knit top, sneakers, underwear, and a hat. I had my doubts about whether that really passed for date attire, but no better idea came to mind. You'd have to have actually seen what women wear on dates to know better — this is where being single since birth really stings.
On the day itself, I dressed in the leather and got ready to leave the house. Today's destination was Lotte World, so we'd agreed to meet at Exit 4 of Jamsil Station by ten in the morning. That meant waking up early, but with the tension churning inside me, I wasn't the least bit sleepy.
I arrived at the meeting spot thirty minutes ahead of time. I was wondering how far along he was when, off in the distance, I spotted a familiar silhouette leaning against a pillar. Seriously? And here I'd thought I was early — he'd beaten even that? Letting out a quiet sigh, I started toward Chiwon. Maybe he'd caught the sound of my footsteps, because he looked my way and promptly came running straight at me.
"Hello, um—you're Haeun, aren't you?"
The words Who are you? very nearly shot out of me on reflex. It was Chiwon, all right — but somehow, he looked so much more polished than before? If he could clean up this well, why had he always gone around so casually until now? Maybe, unlike me, Chiwon hadn't been unable to date. Maybe he simply never had.
"Oh, hello! Um, it's lovely to meet you, Chiwon."
Yu Haeun. That was my name now. Twenty-two years old; hobbies, listening to music; currently enrolled at a certain women's university in Seoul.
"You got here early. The trip from home wasn't too much for you, was it?"
"It's fine! I was just so excited for today that I ended up waking up way too early, and…"
Even as I fired back internally, You're the one who got here way earlier, you know!, I worked to keep a smile on my face. Let's not forget — today, I was playing the woman who fit Chiwon's ideal to a T. Not a single slip of the tongue, not one odd gesture, could be allowed to raise suspicion.
"Ah, ahaha…"
Chiwon laughed awkwardly, then fell briefly silent. His face was an open book, plainly spelling out I'm so nervous right now. Nothing for it, then. I would just have to speak first.
"Have you had breakfast yet, by any chance?"
"Ah, yes. I fixed myself something simple before I left, so I'm all right."
No, Chiwon. What do you mean, all right? This is where you say you haven't eaten, ask me the same thing back, and follow it up with, "Shall we grab something together?" Besides, it takes you over two hours to get here from home — cooked before you left? Please. Nobody wakes up that early.
"Haha, that's a relief. I'm not hungry yet either, so how about we look around first and get lunch after?"
"Yes, sounds perfect!"
I guided the somewhat stiff-tongued Chiwon into Lotte World. Mmm, the crowds were already pretty thick. If we didn't hurry and get in line, it was going to grow monstrous.
"Where should we go first?"
"Then… how about Atlantis?"
"Let's do it!"
Humming some tune or other, we set off toward Atlantis, where the cheerful din of the park rose up to greet us. Maybe it was because I'd come on a date this time, but the place felt different from my previous few visits. I was a woman now, sure… but a date was still a date.
"You must really like Lotte World, huh?"
"I do! To tell you the truth, this is the first time I've ever come to Lotte World alone with a man. So my heart's going a little wild right now, hehe."
I smiled back at him. It wasn't a complete lie. Never having come to Lotte World alone with a man — fake. The fluttering — genuine. Face flushed, Chiwon let his gaze drift a little away from me. Ooh, this was actually pretty fun. Should I tease him a little more?
"Chiwon, your face looks a little red… you're not coming down with a cold, are you?"
"Huh? Ah, no. Of course not. I'm just a little nervous, that's… huh?"
Rising onto my tiptoes, I brought a hand lightly to his forehead. One second. Two. Mm — that was about right. Carefully, I drew my hand back and continued in my best worried voice.
"No fever, good. We came all this way to have fun — if you got sick on me, I'd be worried sick, you know."
"…Haeun, would you excuse me a moment? I need to use the restroom."
Maybe the moment had simply become too hard to talk his way through — Chiwon sprinted off to the restroom. Had my teasing gone a little too far? I felt a twinge of guilt. Well, for moments like this, a gift was the perfect remedy. I ducked into a snack stand nearby and bought us something to eat, but when I came back with our order, there was Chiwon, scanning the crowd in every direction, worry written all over his face. Looking like that, he made me the villain of the piece.
"Chiwon, over here!"
"You vanished on me — you startled me half to death. And what's that you're holding…?"
"Here you go!"
I passed Chiwon the churros in my left hand; my right held the cotton candy I'd bought for myself. He took them and stared at me, blank-faced. Hm? Had his tastes changed? I could have sworn this guy…
"Oh — do you not like churros, Chiwon? I should have asked before buying them…"
"No, no, I like churros. It's just…"
"Just what?"
"Seeing the cotton candy and the churros together reminded me of my friend. You know him, right? Inje."
"Ah, yes! Yerim's boyfriend, right?"
"That's him. He always bought cotton candy whenever we came here. I only ever ate churros."
That's right. Every time Chiwon and I came to Lotte World, he'd get the churros and I'd get the cotton candy. We'd bicker over it every single time, too — You're that old and you still stuff your face with cotton candy like a kid?A taste-deaf philistine like you could never understand the appeal of cotton candy. God, those were the days.
"Did Inje happen to mention… no, he wouldn't have done that."
"Sorry?"
"No, it's nothing. Just talking to myself."
Chiwon smiled quietly, his face somehow brighter than before. I had no particular desire to press him on what he'd almost said, so I gave a noncommittal nod and turned to walk toward Atlantis again. Or I started to.
"Haeun."
"Yes?"
"Would it be all right if we held hands?"
When I glanced back over my shoulder, Chiwon was cautiously extending his left hand toward me. The nerves were plain to see, and yet compared to earlier, something about him seemed… more confident. I gazed at that quietly outstretched hand for a moment, then slowly walked back and took it in a firm hold.
"…Yes."
My right hand settled into his left. As we walked, each of us slowly falling into step with the other, our joined hands swayed gently back and forth. His hand, held with such care, felt inexplicably warm. It gave me a ticklish little thrill.