Rehabilitation - 5
“Goodbye.”
“Take care.”
The two of them eventually ended up at the comic café, but neither touched the manga, only slept, and left.
The girl kept fidgeting, clearly bothered by something deep inside.
A comic café where you don’t read comics but simply come out.
It felt almost as if they had gone to buy food at a stall and left without tasting even a single bite.
It wasn’t really like that, yet somehow it felt as though they had done something they shouldn’t have.
“It’s fine.”
And the unni, watching the girl, took her hand and comforted her.
“Really?”
“Yeah, we already set up the tent, and there were other people sleeping besides us.”
“Ah. Um.”
“It’s a rest area. Just. There were pillows and blankets, right?”
“Really……?”
The girl tilted her head belatedly at the unni’s words.
Indeed, each tent had pillows and blankets.
When reading comics everyone had been rolling around, so they hadn’t suspected anything, but for a café it felt strangely out of place.
Too soft to be a cushion, too thick to be a blanket.
……Had it really been meant for sleeping?
“Uuuung.”
“So don’t worry too much. Let’s go.”
“Yeah.”
The girl hesitated for a moment at the unni’s words, then looked back into the café.
It was hidden behind the tents, so it wasn’t visible, but there were definitely people sleeping.
There was even a warning sign about not making noise if you wanted to sleep.
It seemed like it really was all right to rest.
The girl nodded and stepped outside, gazing at the stairs leading down to the underground shopping mall.
If we went forward, we could reach the parking lot.
We could go home.
We would have to come out again later anyway, but after resting enough we could look at the waffles.
Any other trauma triggers we might have missed could be faced after replenishing our strength.
On the other hand, turning back would take us straight to the underground shopping mall via the stairs.
We didn’t have to come out twice.
Today had been incredibly hard, but tomorrow we could stare blankly out the window and kill time.
We could think about how to heal our ankle.
The girl thought about it.
What should we do?
Since the unni was waiting for whichever direction she chose, the girl bit her lip.
She stood there staring alternately at both sides, then slowly took a step.
The girl stepped onto the escalator going down.
She might meet the switch that triggered trauma again.
The thought scared her, but she went down anyway.
A heavy air pressed down.
No matter what the ventilation or air conditioning, being underground meant poor airflow, and that created the weight.
The weight of clothes, perfume, and snacks.
Overcoming that weight, the girl stepped into the underground shopping mall, turned back to check on the unni, and grabbed her sleeve.
And headed toward the waffle stall.
“I… want to eat.”
The voice trembled.
The girl said it with lips that had gone deathly pale from fear, then breathed out long and looked at the unni.
“Really?”
The unni stared at the girl’s face calmly at her words.
Fortunately, it didn’t seem like another panic attack would come.
She seemed scared of remembering, but the physical reaction hadn’t risen yet.
“Just one, please.”
“Yes, two thousand won.”
A thin waffle spread only with cream and apple jam.
When the one wrapped in paper packaging was held in her hand, the girl stopped breathing.
She stared at the waffle with her eyes, then barely opened her small mouth.
And slowly bit into it.
Because it had been exposed to the fan breeze right after being taken out, the waffle crunched as she bit.
The cream and apple jam pressed between her teeth, the girl chewed repeatedly and barely swallowed.
“Fuhah.”
And breathed out, laughing heavily.
“Uung, it tastes good. Unni… try it too.”
“Really?”
The girl handed the waffle with her trembling hand.
Something felt as though she might throw up.
She had only eaten a snack that wasn’t special, yet it felt like she might throw up again.
But at the same time, a strange sense of relief washed over her.
It felt like escaping the exhaust smell from the parking lot.
There were no cars driving around underground anyway.
The girl laughed heavily at that thought while looking at the unni, and the unni laughed at the girl’s reaction and suggested they go buy a skirt.
At those words, the girl made a sound “Ugh—” and shrank her shoulders.
It was good that she had overcome something, but changing clothes again was unsettling.
And this time it was a skirt.
I had never worn one before.
“All right, let’s try this first!”
“……How do I even wear it?”
The girl frowned at the skirt the unni was offering.
It was thin.
Why had they made it like this?
One thick cloth would have been comfortable, so why layer so many thin ones?
And how was one supposed to put it on?
If I messed up while dressing, would it tear?
Since I had been male and worn only pants my whole life, the girl stared blankly at the unni.
“Um, just put your legs in all at once and lift it up. Then there’s a button on the side? Once you button that, it’s done.”
“Uung.”
It would be easy to say, but could she even wear it?
The girl thought that, took off her shoes, and entered the fitting room.
And the girl who had taken off her pants organized the clothes, took a deep breath, and put both feet into the skirt.
“Hoo, hoo.”
The girl breathed deeply while slightly lifting her knees in unknown tension.
Then she pulled the skirt up firmly, touched the side of her waist, and buttoned it.
A strangely uncomfortable feeling came over her.
It felt as though her waist had tilted.
When she looked in the mirror, the waistline looked crooked, and the girl stuck out her lips at that appearance.
I can’t even wear clothes properly, can I.
“Fuuuuh.”
No, maybe the skirt was more sensitive to that compared to pants.
The girl fiddled with her waist while adjusting her waistline at that thought.
And then idly stroked the hem of the skirt with her hand.
Every time her fingertips brushed smoothly, the skirt fluttered.
……Somehow, she thought she understood why they had made the skirt from such thin cloth.
The girl stared quietly at the mirror.
She lifted her knees slightly, extended one leg forward, and continued to examine her own body.
She walked inside the narrow fitting room, and turned her body to check if the skirt hem flared out.
And after some minutes like that, the girl’s face flushed.
When I was male, I had wanted to date a type like this.
“Kuung.”
A pure, small, delicate type.
A complicated feeling arose.
It wasn’t narcissism, what was this.
The girl thought that, snapped back to the unni’s voice, and cautiously opened the door.
“Wow, it’s so cute.”
“Uueet.”
And with the flood of praise, the girl who had been wearing hiking shoes blushed while putting them back on.
“Shoes, let’s buy shoes too!”
“Eh, eeet?”
“Sandals, how about them?”
“Th, that.”
Today, it seemed like it would be good to finish.
The skirt had been bought in one go anyway……, maybe it was okay?
The girl thought that at the unni’s outburst, eventually sighed and took the hand.
“Uuuung.”
At least shoes I kind of knew, so it would be easier than choosing clothes.
Thinking that, the girl walked clumsily, looking down at the unni who was holding one canvas shoe up to compare with her one foot.
If someone saw, they might think we had switched bodies.
I came as a porter, and the unni came for shopping.
Why was the unni so happy while buying clothes for me like this?
The girl kept tilting her head, stood up at the sight of the unni bringing one sandal and one canvas shoe.
“Shall we go back?”
“Yeah.”
And smiled brightly.
Although not fully understood, since the unni really seemed happy.
“Today was hard, so let’s order delivery?”
“Uung, yeah.”
The unni had both hands full of shopping bags, arms crossed, and the girl now naturally leaned her body and walked slowly.
“Want to eat something?”
“Uuuung, no.”
“Um, still think about it, unni only thinks of alcohol side dishes.”
“Then……, pizza.”
“Good. Then let’s buy pizza.”
Choosing dinner was the same.
While barely eating one piece, the girl naturally said what she wanted to eat.
And smiled.
With soft continuing everyday conversation, she smiled with her eyes.
A bit tired, but……, when I got home it should be okay.
The girl thought that while leaning on the unni.
Then looked back at the waffle shop at the edge of her vision.
Memories with father came to mind.
The father asking if I wasn’t hungry while smiling at the zoo.
And the mother’s face came to mind.
The mother asking if it was delicious while scolding the father.
……Still, the two of them had been good people.
Good adults, good father and mother.
Just, I couldn’t accept that.
“Why are you like that?”
“Uung, no……, no.”
The girl slowly shook her head and forcibly turned her head.
It wasn’t refreshing.
It wasn’t refreshing, but if she got caught here she couldn’t go to the farm or anything.
So, just ask and go.
The girl thought of the next travel destination like that and held the unni’s hand.