After the Battle: North to Henei (3)
It happened suddenly, but I ended up heading to Henei with Sima Yi. It was midwinter, and the ground was still blanketed in snow, yet we set off northward through the frozen fields toward the biting cold.
Calling it sudden felt a bit off, though. Before the battle, we'd agreed that if we won, we'd go to Henei—and we had won. All Sima Yi did was hold me to the promise.
"I heard you make promises like that before a war and end up dead right away. Guess it's all superstition, huh?"
"Right? It's all lies."
"What if it's real?"
"If it really comes true, something's gone wrong. Luckily, everything turned out perfectly without a hitch, didn't it? Hehe."
I rode alongside Sima Yi, leisurely heading north toward Henei County.
"Not the best route to travel."
"It's fine. We'll be passing through here often from now on. If you feel like crying, get a headache, or want to run away, just let me know. You can borrow my shoulder."
"One thing I do know—if enemies show up, we run, right?"
"Oh, you're right. Hehe, then let's hold hands and flee together."
The road from Xinye to Henei County unfortunately passed through the site of our battle with Zhang Je, so part of me wished we could avoid it. Most of Zhang Je's soldiers were dead, but survivors remained. Those who surrendered on the icy surface were bound, but others—who hadn't climbed onto the frozen river and had waited around Wan—were still out there.
"They won't come chasing us, will they?"
"No way. Master, saying that just makes me more anxious."
Still, would Zhang Je's men really come to kill us? Unlikely. It hadn't been long since Zhang Je died, which actually made us safer.
"Nah. Yeah. Some deserter coming out specifically to ambush us? No chance."
I had one solid reason for that confidence.
"The general who took over Zhang Je's army has started attacking Wan."
Wan. Once Yuan Shu's base, it had become something of a no-man's-land after he shifted his headquarters to the Shouchun area in Nanyang. It lay directly on the straight path from Chang'an, the first encounter point for Dong Zhuo's forces without passing through Luoyang.
"Isn't Wan a tough nut to crack?"
"Yeah. Attacking it means they're dead set on taking it."
With every soldier needed at Wan, they'd have no spare manpower to target me and Sima Yi—something they might not even know about. Absurd. But if Zhang Je's men did ambush us for revenge, we'd spur our horses at full gallop and flee back to Jingzhou. Sima Yi wasn't being stubborn about it, so going to Henei was fine, but we wouldn't force it. And we had insurance.
"Seo Seo, we're counting on you."
"Leave it to me, Master."
Seo Seo had joined us as our escort. Now strong enough to beat Huang Zu in a one-on-one duel, she was accompanying us to guard the two of us.
"No matter what happens to me, I'll make sure you two are safe."
"Don't say that. It's bad luck."
"Oh, but you said that's superstition."
"Still, you never know."
"What if" exists because you can't predict when it'll happen.
"Trust me, Master. My swordsmanship has improved lately. I could take on ten bandits no problem."
"Honestly, you could've beaten Zhang Je yourself."
Seo Seo's martial prowess surpassed most grown men. Her true strength lay in her brilliant mind, of course, but her swordsmanship—enough to make even Sima Yi envious—was on par with any general.
"Just try not to shed too much blood on the way up."
"Yes. We'll go quietly, pay our respects, and come back."
"Pay respects?"
"Last time you visited, didn't they half-ignore you?"
"Well, your father..."
...dislikes me. It felt oddly embarrassing to say it outright. Why? Obviously, he'd thought long and hard about my relationship with Sima Yi. But I could only guess at his reasons for hating me—I didn't sympathize. I hadn't done anything wrong. If anyone was at fault, it was the Sima family for leaving a young child in Jingzhou as "dangerous." That's why Sima Yi follows me more like a father.
Yeah, right.
Aah, yes. Sima Yi's father, Sima Bang, must be jealous that she treats me more like a dad!
Just kidding.
When we meet, we'll talk seriously. And if he gives me a fair hearing...
"Yi. I used to think Lü Bu had the most fathers among folks alive today, but I guess I was wrong."
"Oh? I thought the same."
"What?"
"You're not my husband?"
"...Isn't that a bit different?"
We...
"Seo Seo, how's your mother doing?"
"She's well. We exchange letters. The Cao Cao army's staff gives her a lot of conveniences, apparently. Thank you again, Master."
"No big deal. I regret not bringing her to Jingzhou myself. If I ever head to Chenliu, we'll pay a visit."
"Ah, that'd be an honor, Master."
"No need for honors."
Northward.
"Henei is the closest to Luoyang, right?"
"Yes. Ever since the Ten Attendants chaos, it's been plagued by plunderers. During Dong Zhuo's time, he looted it; after Luoyang burned, Yuan Shao took Jizhou and extended influence over Henei."
"Yuan Shao, huh... By the way, does your father plan to enter officialdom?"
"He seemed ready to retire since he can't serve the court."
"Your siblings?"
"My older brother went into service somewhere, but I haven't heard details. My younger ones are about to choose paths."
"...No word?"
"Yes. He just wrote that he'd taken a post—nothing about where."
As we traveled, we arrived.
"...It's basically ruins."
Luoyang. Nearly five years since Dong Zhuo wrecked it, yet the city remained abandoned. Before even entering Luoyang Castle, the sight of desolate homes turned our stomachs.
"Let's rest a bit. The horses are tired."
"Staying overnight isn't wise. An hour's rest, then ride hard to Henei."
"Good call. This place is... horrific."
Luoyang was a wasteland. Everything lay in ruins, everything destroyed.
"Rebuilding this would take more funds than most could muster."
"The state it's in... Honestly, it might be faster to abandon it than rebuild."
Abandon it. The capital of a nation. Easy to say flippantly, but seeing it firsthand made it clear.
"Staying a day here feels off, right?"
"Yes. What do you think?"
"Lingering might mean running into bandits hiding here. Let's push north."
To reach Henei, we needed a ferry at the northern ford past Luoyang. It was swimmable for a person, but not with our three horses. We'd need a boat.
Or gallop across the frozen river.
Unless gambling, we'd procure a boat and head up. Before entering Luoyang proper, we passed the villages...
"Hm?"
Something felt off. Like eyes watching us.
"Seo Seo."
"...Yes."
Crunch.
Something moved fast. Seo Seo drew her sword and charged the source. I handed my horse to Sima Yi and followed.
"Got her, Master."
"...Isn't it a girl?"
Before Seo Seo stood a woman clutching a rice bowl. Filthy and gaunt, she looked ready to collapse. The black-haired woman gripped her lunch pail like a treasure.
"She stole our rice."
"Yeah. Must've been starving."
I approached the woman.
"Don't move, thief."
"Seo Seo. Lower the blade a bit. Hunger makes eyes roll back."
Crouching to meet her terrified, confused gaze, I matched her eye level.
"You were hungry, so you stole. I get it. I've starved and had the runs myself."
I reached out, gently straightening her hair.
"That day, Father beat me like a dog. Even if the world turns to beasts, how can people act worse than animals?"
She flinched, trembling in fear.
"Why the scare? Makes me look like the bad guy. I'm not hitting or interrogating—just asking."
I wiped the grime from her face with my thumb.
"You look like a noble lady. How'd you end up like this?"
"......Luoyang."
A tiny, seething voice that pierced my ears with its rage.
"Luoyang... was my home."
"Your home."
No matter how I looked, it was all rubble. But to her, it held memories—everything.
"After Dong Zhuo's massacre?"
"No... not exactly."
"Then?"
"...Fled to Chang'an. Now escaped from there, back to Luoyang."
"I see."
It was genuinely heartbreaking.
"Escaping purgatory just to find its extension."
"......."
Her face paled. I pulled my waterskin from my belt and offered it.
"Listen well. I don't know how many are here, but a woman alone smelling of rice invites attack. We'll guard you while you eat..."
"Home!"
Her voice rose suddenly.
"At home... there's someone ill."
"Ah, I see."
Tragic, but now it was up to her.
"I have no money or medicine. We're heading to relatives in Henei—handing out cash here could cause trouble. So..."
I pointed south.
"If it's truly hard to survive, seek the Sun in Jingzhou. Sip it slowly with water so it doesn't stick. Let's go."
"Yes, Master."
I stood from the woman.
"Wait!"
She called after me.
"Y-Your... name...!"
"Name?"
I waved without turning.
"What, over something like this."
In Jingzhou, "the Sun" would be known—no need to spell it out.
"It's just that the land's full of big thieves. Don't take it to heart."