Act I: Basically a Story About Lady Zou Devouring Guan Yu
In the year 200, Liu Bei was crushed by Cao Cao. The warlord who had held Xu Province was smashed to pieces. It was Liu Bei and his youngest sworn brother, Zhang Fei, who had ridden out to war; Guan Yu remained behind, holding Xiapi Castle alone.
Word of the defeat reached them, but whether Liu Bei and Zhang Fei even still lived remained unknown. Guan Yu led his troops out of the castle to rescue the two men. Left behind in Xiapi Castle were Liu Bei's two wives, Lady Gan and Lady Mi, who could only pray that their husband would return to them alive.
Days passed, and Liu Bei did not return. Guan Yu, who had gone to save him, did not return either. What appeared instead was Cao Cao's vast army.
With the castle surrounded, Liu Bei's remaining forces steeled themselves for death. The two ladies, too, had already prepared to take their own lives rather than be taken prisoner if the walls fell.
"I wish to have an audience with the ladies."
Zhang Liao, a general of Cao Cao's army, had come to Xiapi Castle as an envoy. Lady Gan and Lady Mi remembered him. He had originally served as a general under Lu Bu, and Liu Bei and Lu Bu had once shared Xu Province together.
"Is Lord Liu Bei still alive?"
What the two ladies wanted to know most was whether their husband still lived.
"We have not found a body, either. Had he fled, we assumed he would have come to Xiapi Castle—but it seems that was not the case."
It sounds as though I am condemning him as a man who abandoned his wife and children to run. The thought sat uneasily with Zhang Liao.
"Our forces launched a night raid, so the situation would have been desperate. We annihilated nearly all of his soldiers."
Lady Mi let out a low, anguished sound. Her elder brother, Mi Fang, had been one of the generals who marched out with them.
"And Lord Guan Yu and Lord Zhang Fei?"
"I cannot speak for Lord Zhang Fei. Lord Guan Yu has been driven into the mountains and surrounded by our forces. He refuses to surrender… but if you ladies were to assist us, a path to survival might yet open."
"…What is it you want from us?"
"For our army to take Xiapi Castle, with none of the three generals—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, or Zhang Fei—present, would be a simple matter. But should the castle fall, you two ladies would surely take your own lives. I understand you would not wish to become a burden upon your husband, Lord Liu Bei. And yet if the two of you, whom he must protect, were also to perish, General Guan Yu would choose to fight to the death as well. Should General Guan Yu die, then whatever path Lord Liu Bei—wherever he still lives—might have had to rise again would vanish forever."
"…You want us to surrender."
Zhang Liao bowed at the waist before the two ladies.
Lady Gan looked at Lady Mi. Despite her enormous breasts, Lady Mi had the face of a young girl, almost childlike. Having lost all word of her husband and family, she was trembling, paralyzed with fear. The one who had to make the decision was Lady Gan.
A few days later, three people stepped into a residence in Xuchang, the stronghold of Cao Cao's army.
Guan Yu, courtesy name Yunchang—Liu Bei's sworn younger brother, a man whose magnificent beard sat upon him as if it had been made for his face. Lady Mi, Liu Bei's first wife, whose enormous breasts caught the eye before anything else; her given name was Mi Lin. And Lady Gan, Liu Bei's second wife, though she was older than the first; her given name was Gan Mei.
"This is only my second time in Xuchang, but it's as lively as ever. The city seems to have grown even larger," Lady Gan said as they entered the residence. They had lived briefly in Xuchang once before, back when Liu Bei had served under Cao Cao.
"It truly has. There are more buildings, and more people as well."
Lady Mi tried to put on a bright expression, but the strain in her forced cheer was painfully obvious, and it was pitiful to watch. Guan Yu's face twisted.
"It is because of my own inadequacy that you, my sisters-in-law, have been reduced to this."
The three of them were, in truth, prisoners. However much Guan Yu had surrendered to Cao Cao's army and been granted a general's rank, Lady Gan and Lady Mi remained, unmistakably, the family of the enemy.
This is the heart of Cao Cao's army. Separated from Lord Liu Bei, we have been dragged here among tens of thousands of enemy soldiers…
Lady Gan felt a fear that threatened to crush her. But she could not allow Lady Mi to become any more frightened than she already was. The younger woman needed someone to lean on. Lady Gan gripped Lady Mi's hand tightly.
"Lord Guan Yu, please do not say such things."
She did not want to place any more of a burden on Guan Yu than he already carried. Her husband Liu Bei, having lost Xu Province to Cao Cao, was now a wanderer without a base of his own. He had become a man who posed no threat whatsoever to Cao Cao's army, which meant Lady Gan and Lady Mi had no value as hostages either. The only reason the two of them had been brought to Xuchang alive was to keep Guan Yu in check. If Guan Yu lived, they would live…
"Cao Cao has, for now, guaranteed your safety… but he is a man of cunning schemes. There is no telling how he might yet threaten you. Please be cautious. I shall do everything in my power to protect you both."
"…Please be careful as well, Lord Guan Yu."
After looking over the residence, Lady Gan quietly bit her lip. The room where Guan Yu would sleep and the room for the two ladies were far too close together—close enough that even a small sound could be heard from one to the other.
…Filthy. Men and women in the prime of their years, and they would deliberately violate propriety by placing us this close… Filthy. This is a filthy intention.
Was Cao Cao doing this in the hope that some unseemly incident might arise among the three of them? But they were prisoners. She could not summon the courage to demand a larger residence.
"Sisters-in-law, so that the two of you may sleep in comfort, I shall sleep outside."
Guan Yu, reading the situation, spoke first. Lady Gan let out a sigh.
Lord Guan Yu, you truly are a fine man who understands propriety. But… that is precisely the sort of thing that makes a woman's heart so terribly uncomfortable…
"If we know that you cannot sleep properly outside, Lord Guan Yu, we will not be able to rest easily ourselves. Please, sleep in your room. We will be fine."
"She's right, Lord Guan Yu. Please come in and sleep."
When Lady Mi chimed in as well, Guan Yu could no longer insist.
"Even in my room, I shall not set down the Green Dragon Crescent Blade."
Exhausted from the long journey, the three of them decided to retire early.
"Sister Mei…"
Once they were alone, Lady Mi burrowed into Lady Gan's embrace.
"Mi Lin… you were frightened, weren't you. It's all right."
Though Lady Gan ranked a step below her as a wife, she was the older of the two, and when they were alone Lady Mi often called her Sister. The strict-natured Lady Gan had found this improper, but living alongside the innocent Mi Lin had softened her heart, just a little. When they were alone, Lady Gan called her Mi Lin by name as well.
"What's going to happen to us now… Do you think Lord Xuande is still alive…"
Mi Lin's eyes were wet. At the thought of her husband, Liu Bei, Lady Gan felt as though her own chest were collapsing.
"He is alive. I am certain of it."
She gripped Mi Lin's hand tightly. As if wanting to cling to that hand, Mi Lin pressed her body against Lady Gan's arm—and Lady Gan's arm vanished almost entirely between Mi Lin's enormous breasts.
This girl… they really are enormous…
Lady Gan felt a little pathetic that even in a situation like this, she found herself noticing the size of Mi Lin's chest. And somehow, it made her want to laugh, too. She stroked Mi Lin's hair. Mi Lin was trembling faintly.
"…I heard that Cao Cao… likes married women. I'm scared…"
Lady Gan swallowed. At those words, her body could not help but go rigid.
It had already been famous even during their previous stay in Xuchang. It was news no one could have missed. Cao Cao did not even bother to hide his taste for married women. Even when they had been Cao Cao's guests, Lady Gan had found it deeply unpleasant the way his gaze locked onto young Lady Mi's chest.
Paying scarcely any attention to his conversation with her husband, Cao Cao had let his eyes roll along with the pendulum-swing of Lady Mi's breasts as she carried in the teacups. Lady Gan had glared at him in silence. But the next instant she started, and could not help looking away—for Cao Cao, having caught that look in her eyes, had turned his gaze upon her with an expression as though he had just discovered a new dish at a restaurant he frequented. Beneath that nakedly ravenous stare, Lady Gan had felt, for a fleeting moment, as though she had been stripped bare and laid out on a dining table, and a shudder had run through her.
Not long after, Liu Bei had been granted an audience with the Emperor, formally appointed Governor of Yu Province, and departed Xuchang—and that had been the last time she met Cao Cao in person. But Lady Gan had never forgotten the look in Cao Cao's eyes as he came out to see them off, though there had been no need for him to appear at all, staring holes through her backside.
He kept staring… at my ass.
That fact frightened her. The part of her body Lady Gan was most confident in was her ass. Precisely because of that, she always wore loose, ample garments so that her lower body would not show, wrapping extra layers around her waist to conceal her figure. And yet Cao Cao, having laid eyes on her only once, had locked his gaze immediately upon her backside.
It's no surprise he noticed this girl's breasts… but how on earth did he notice mine… Perhaps I was only imagining it.
Lady Gan kept stroking Mi Lin's hair until she fell asleep. Inwardly, she wished someone would stroke her own hair as well. She wanted to see her husband.
"…Sister. Sister Mei."
Lady Gan opened her eyes. Lady Mi was waking her.
"Mi Lin…? Aren't you tired? Why aren't you sleeping?"
"…From Lord Guan Yu's room… I think I hear a strange sound…"
Lady Gan pricked up her ears. There was, indeed, a sound.
Schlurp… slurp… schlurp… pop…
"What… is that sound?"
"It sounds a little like water dripping… and a little like paper tearing…"
The two of them quietly pressed themselves against the doorway. The sounds came through louder, more distinct.
Schlurp, pop… slurp-schlurp… pop-pop… pop-pop…
"Hhk…!"
Lady Mi clapped a hand over her mouth. Lady Gan had already covered hers first.
It was a sound that should have been impossible—and yet it was a sound that could be nothing else. The sound of a man and a woman coupling. More than that: the sound of a woman satisfying a man's body with her mouth, her tongue, her lips, her teeth, or any of a countless number of parts too indecent to imagine.
Hah… schluup… schlurp… mmph… hah… lick, lick, schlurp, pop… slurp, slurp, shluuup…
The other reason the two of them were so horrified was this: those sounds were pouring down like a rainstorm from dozens of places at once—far too many to possibly be the work of one or two people's technique.