Prologue — Wishing Nothing But Climax Upon My Esteemed Readers
Greetings. Greetings. I offer my respects to you, dear readers.
In our era, wrapping one's fist in the palm of the other hand like this was considered the highest form of courtesy. I couldn't say how they do it in yours.
Before I tell you this story, offering a greeting seemed only human — a courtesy one observes. That said, if you'd rather skip straight to the main tale, it wouldn't be a problem in the slightest.
This humble one is Jian Yong, courtesy name Xianhua. Never heard of me? Yes, well, I suppose you wouldn't have. But the tales of my old ball-buddy Liu Bei Xuande — those you've heard plenty of, haven't you?
Xuande, Yunchang, Yide... I am the folding screen that always stood beside those fellows' stories. Believe it or not, I pulled my weight well enough from the sidelines. When Xuande's lot were out front swinging their swords, I was in the back loosing arrows, that sort of thing.
Like my hometown friend Liu Bei, I too hail from Zhuo County in Youzhou — that scrap of land at the northern edge of the Han. The era I lived in... well... by the calendar you people use, it would have been somewhere around the two-hundreds AD. You know it well as the story called Romance of the Three Kingdoms, don't you? A fascinating age. My, what a fascinating age it was.
We killed a lot of people, too.
Did I say we "killed" them? No — a slip of the tongue. I meant they died. Yes. A great many died. Of the people I knew, nine in every ten either starved to death or were murdered by their fellow man. Nine in ten. Does that give you a sense of it? Xuande's company and I drifted through so many places, and after we'd settled in some new town for a few years...
there wouldn't be a soul left that I knew. Because we'd killed them all.
Pardon me — I keep doing that. Not "killed." They died.
You may think it doesn't add up, but it truly was a fascinating age, one in which people dropped dead as if it were a punchline. Wherever we went, war and slaughter followed us without end.
All on account of that madman, Cao Cao Mengde.
We fled to stay alive, and then, truly in order to stay alive... there were people we ate.
Did we fuck them, you ask? Ah — I'll get to that story too.
I mean it literally. We ate people. We were that hungry...
Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. People aren't supposed to eat people. We knew that too.
We were just so hungry. Haha.
I've wandered off the point. That isn't what I came here to tell you. People dying in wartime is an everyday affair. Anyway, when you live through an age in which people die so carelessly... people start to go a little strange.
How to put it? As if being alive doesn't feel real? Death is so close at hand that... you simply cannot bear to go on living?
You can't endure it.
You literally lose all desire to endure anything at all.
That... well, I wouldn't know what it's like in the age you live in... but sex, for instance. There's no reason left to hold back.
You might get eaten in a little while, after all. There's no time to weigh this against that.
So you strip whoever you see, first thing.
Have I eaten women, you ask? Oh... that's a double-edged question... One answer is yes, I have. As for the other — no comment. Which one am I not commenting on?
No comment on that either. Well... once you get the clothes off, they're easier to eat in any number of ways.
In every sense of the word.
Please understand that the things we did were different from your era. It was what they call an age of chaos. A messy, promiscuous age...
With so many people dying, we ought to have been making more of them — but as I mentioned, our lot's circumstances were rather pitiful. Always on the run, it was hard to make children. One wrong step and you'd just be adding more mouths to feed. Women heavy with child, children too slow to keep up — they'd get captured and become hostages for nothing.
And so, among our company, there was an unspoken rule.
NO COMING INSIDE
And the finish? Well — the mouth, the belly... everyone had their preferences, but most of us went with bukkake.
Dumping it on the body, you understand.
From here on, I mean to tell you the story of how we used to bukkake... This is a story that was never recorded in the histories. Don't come asking me for sources.
Our company's stories weren't preserved much as it is, were they?
Don't press me on whether any of it actually happened, either.
Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it.
I'll take your finger-pointing gladly. Getting cursed out is only to be expected.
But this is, without a doubt, a story I lived through.
A story of fighting, eating, getting fucked, fleeing, and struggling not to die.
It may be quite different from the story you knew — but if you think about it carefully, you'll come to see it isn't so different after all.
This is the bukkake of we who are dead.
A rapturous ejaculation, poured upon the eternal classic Romance of the Three Kingdoms — in the instant before death.
...I offer my repeated apologies for having dragged out this preamble so long.
I shall now raise the curtain on the first act of this tale.
So then... this would have been precisely the year 200 AD. My ball-buddy Xuande had been utterly smashed by Cao Cao and lost Xu Province...
Xuande's sworn brother Guan Yu Yunchang, along with the wives and children Xuande had left behind, fell into none other than that Cao Cao's clutches.
Into the hands of Cao Cao Mengde, a man infamous for his fondness for other men's wives...
Lady Gan — Gan Mei — who knew no man but Xuande, and whose somewhat fastidious air was, if anything, faintly arousing... and Lady Mi — Mi Lin, the younger sister of Mi Zhu — whose enormous breasts I used to stare at, spellbound, every single day...
There's no way nothing happened. Why don't you hear it from them yourselves, starting next chapter.