Reality Collaboration (5)
Yeon-a, who had comforted me so well, lifts me up and carries me toward the bed. "Heave-ho. Why are you so light? How much do you weigh?"
"M-me? I've never weighed myself."
Yeon-a hums thoughtfully, lifts me again, then smiles. "Around... 44?"
"D-does it show that much?"
"Probably close."
She sits me on the edge of the bed and smiles, tying her hair into a ponytail. "Don't you have an apron or something?"
"...S-sorry, I didn't pack anything like that... Uh, I used to cook a little when I was younger."
As I say that and awkwardly look away, Yeon-a continues in a surprised tone. "That's unexpected."
"...W-what is?"
"Well, I thought you liked cooking."
"......?"
When I tilt my head, Yeon-a smiles awkwardly and goes on. "I mean, you always looked happy whenever you talked about the kids' dinner menus."
"Did I...?"
It's something I hadn't even realized about myself. Surprised, I ask, and Yeon-a nods.
"Yeah. That's why I assumed you enjoyed it."
"...I guess I did like it, to some extent..."
Cooking. Memories I'd forgotten because they were too painful begin to surface. I mostly cooked using the recipes my mom from this life had left behind. The mother who married at twenty, gave birth to me, and ran away when I was eight.
"......"
Maybe it wasn't the cooking I liked, but the things Mom had left behind. 'I still remember the recipes...'
"...I don't really feel like doing it right now."
"Really?"
"Yeah... I-I wanted to help... Sorry, I just want to stay under the blanket by myself for a bit."
As I say that gloomily and avert my gaze, Yeon-a smiles and glances at my bandages.
"...It's not because of me again, is it?"
"Huh...?"
"Am I right?"
Yeon-a asks carefully, her eyes sad. Staring blankly at her, I quickly shake my head and deny it.
"No...! Yeon-a is precious to me...! Don't make that face."
"...Okay. Sorry."
Yeon-a wipes her moist eyes and gently strokes my head. It felt nice. It really should have felt nice.
'...Mom.'
Someone I don't want to remember overlaps with one of the most precious people in my life. I had no choice but to squeeze my eyes shut.
"L-let's start the stream...! I want to see everyone. They'll wait for me."
"Now that I think about it, cooking might take a while. If I start now it'll be dinner time."
"W-what are you even making?"
"Look forward to it."
Yeon-a smiles. She says I might be hungry, so let's have fruit for lunch, then brings over a peeled peach.
"Peach, because it's your favorite fruit, Suhyun."
"...Th-thank you."
"I'll start cooking after we eat this."
Yeon-a smiles brightly. She looked especially cool just then.
After that, I set up the cam stream while Yeon-a kept cooking behind me. The delicious smell of meat spreads through the room. Fragrant aromas tickle my nose and nerves. There, humming to herself, Yeon-a throws up a V sign with a cheerful "Yay~."
"...V-V sign."
The person who had always been there used to have such a dark expression. 'If... in this life, I had been born into a normal family...' Then, would I have been able to see that mom smile?
"...Ah."
"Suhyun, are you crying?!"
"Ah... uh...?"
The moment something hot poured down my cheeks. Yet my body doesn't tremble. As if it's enduring something. A body that doesn't waver at all. Thoughts that refuse to move. Nevertheless, I was wiping away tears. The reason... I don't know.
* * *
After calming down a little, Yeon-a brings food over with an awkward smile.
"Tada...! It took longer than I expected. It's been a while since I made beef stew."
"Y-Yeon-a, you can cook too."
"Yeah. When I first started living alone, I wanted to forget the depression, so I gave it a try... but all I ended up with was a hobby of drinking wine after failing."
Yeon-a scratches her cheek awkwardly. Seeing that, I smile awkwardly too.
"S-still, you're amazing, Yeon-a... I gave up on everything after sending the kids off to college......"
"......"
"When one goal disappears, everything feels empty... I felt like I'd finished all my tasks... The kids, I even thought they hated me."
When I say that, Yeon-a makes a pained face and pulls me into a tight hug.
"You had such a hard time after that...?"
"...Yeah."
It was hard. Hard enough to cry. I really did cry a lot. Until Dad was caught. After he was taken away, life became so overwhelming that the tears just stopped. Maybe all the things that piled up back then are finally bursting out now. Tears feel like they're about to spill over. I'm happy to be regaining precious things one by one. Starting with tears, then my siblings, then friends.
"Thank you...!"
"Don't cry. Shall we eat stew together while we stream?"
"Yeah... sounds good... I like that a lot."
As I nod vigorously, Yeon-a places her hand over mine on the mouse.
"...When I count one, two, three, I'll press it with you. Since this is our collab."
The same bright smile she had back in middle school. Time had passed, and Yeon-a carried calluses from being bound by society and the past. But even that version of her was dazzling to me.
"Thanks for being my friend, Yeon-a......"
As I speak, the stream begins with the new Latudi illustration Haram recently drew now applied.
"Y-yeah, I have a friend now...! Um... when was it again? M-middle school?"
"Ah... I cried earlier, so my voice might be a bit hoarse."
The Jireongis react so perfectly. I glance to the right at Yeon-a sitting beside me. She smiles and flashes a V sign.
"...You're doing great!"
"Ugh......"
"Ah... y-yes, my friend is a girl......"
"A-all the Jireongis would get arrested...? E-everyone here is a hot guy...?"
One joke and everyone bursts out laughing. I glance at Yeon-a again, wondering if I've become a pro streamer. She gives me a subtle thumbs-up.
'Thank goodness...! I'm doing well without annoying her!'
The thought that I'd successfully pleased Yeon-a brings a small smile to my face.
"Ah... um, there's still four minutes left, so I'll turn it on then."
While I speak, Yeon-a brings another serving of beef stew. Surprised at how much she's eating, I stare at her blankly. She looks embarrassed.
"...S-sorry!"
"...Stream! Let's do the stream!"
Seeing Yeon-a whisper that, I chat with the viewers for the remaining four minutes while eating the beef stew in front of me. Food made by a friend with her own hands really is incredibly delicious.