Siblings (2)
Minwoo stared blankly at his phone long after the call had ended. "……."
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" His friend, whom he hadn't seen in a while, tilted his head curiously from across the café table.
Minwoo offered a slightly bitter smile. "…It's nothing."
And it really was nothing. To anyone else, it was just an ordinary conversation. A single phone call with his older sister. They'd talked, and he'd said he was coming over today. The kind of exchange any normal family might have. Yet to Minwoo, it felt incredibly special.
"Really… it's nothing."
"What the hell, man? Did you eat something weird?" His friend asked with a puzzled expression, but Minwoo felt good.
'…How long has it been since we last called?'
Ever since he'd started preparing for the college entrance exam, he and Suhyun hadn't been able to talk properly. Suhyun worked day and night to earn money. Minwoo studied hard, wanting to repay his sister who kept adding more academy sessions and sacrificing everything for him. Their times at home never overlapped. Then came the winter of his senior year. On the morning of the exam, he finally saw his sister. The same sister who had seemed so reliable and tall back in middle school.
"Ah… Minwoo."
"……."
Now that he was in his third year of high school, she looked exactly like a third-year middle schooler. Minwoo had grown well and stood in the early 180s, but Suhyun was in the late 150s. It was only natural. She was painfully thin, so frail it hurt to look at her.
"Today's the exam, right… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"…Why are you apologizing, sis?"
"…I should've brought you sticky rice cakes or taffy at least. I forgot? Ahaha……."
That apologetic expression on his sister's face as she said those words still lingered in Minwoo's chest, tormenting him.
'…I'll definitely save you, sis.'
"If you're done drinking, let's go. Chanwoo's probably here."
"Yeah, let's go."
Feeling a little lighter, Minwoo sent a short text to his younger sister, Jiwoo: "I'll only hang out until 6 today?"
"Why? You came all the way here."
"Family gathering."
His friend paused for a moment upon hearing that, then carefully chose his reaction. Everyone around Minwoo knew about his family situation. It wasn't because Minwoo had shared it himself—the rumor had simply spread at school.
"You idiot, why are you making that face again?"
Minwoo smiled at his friend. "…Sorry. And thanks."
"…Man, it's like you're getting released from prison or something."
"More like getting discharged from the police academy."
"You wanna die?"
Minwoo laughed as he said it. He was happy. And he thought, 'I need to repay her.' His first older sister, the one who made him happy. Now it was his turn to give back.
* * *
Shhhhhh. I turned on the faucet and rinsed the box cutter. The blade that had been red at first gradually returned to its original color.
"I should open the curtains and let it dry."
Saying that, I carried the knife to where the sunlight was. Might as well disinfect it while I was at it.
"Khh…!!"
Like a vampire, I couldn't get close to the sunlight. I quickly tossed the box cutter and pulled the blackout curtains shut again.
"Huu…"
I collapsed onto the bed and let out a sigh.
"Haa."
I looked around the now-darkened room. It was cramped with piled-up trash. Suffocating. Even borrowing the power of my best counselor, the box cutter, my chest still felt blocked, like something was stuck. The box cutter couldn't solve everything. If anything, it would only drag me deeper into the abyss.
"So what… does it matter?"
It didn't matter. As long as it could relieve the immediate pain. I didn't think things could get any worse from here. There was nowhere left to fall. In a way, I was the happiest person in the world. A life without any minuses. A life that couldn't fall any further. What a tremendous blessing.
"…I should still wash up, though."
Saying that, I struggled to crawl off the bed. Thud!!!!
"…Kh."
I fell under the bed. My left leg wouldn't listen to me. I couldn't stand. The pain made it hard to breathe.
"Ha."
I let out a sigh. My right leg caught on the trash, my left leg unable to support me properly. I tried to push myself up with my right hand, but—
"Uwah…!?"
My hand slipped on the blood I'd spilled earlier, and I fell again. Red blood stained my chest.
"……."
I stared blankly at the blood splattered everywhere.
"I should've cleaned it up earlier."
That was the only thought that came. I brushed myself off, stood up, and used my blood-soaked hand to wipe the floor. Only then did it become clean.
"…Guess I'll have to do laundry too."
Since I was planning to wash anyway, it didn't matter. Limping, I entered the bathroom.
"Hello, Suhyun."
What a horrific sight. Greeting myself while covered in blood on my clothes.
"Reminds me of the old days."
It was a story from childhood, when blood had splattered everywhere. I didn't particularly want to remember it, so I quickly wiped my face and tossed the laundry into the washing machine. Then my emaciated body was revealed. An ugly body covered in scars everywhere. Well, since no one else would see it anyway, the scars didn't bother me anymore.
"At least my face is clean."
That was enough, wasn't it? Thinking that, I sighed and stepped into the shower.
The showering process was nothing short of torture. Hot water poured over my body. Water that had clearly been clean at first ran red on the floor. It hurt. It hurt so much. I must've made a mistake by removing the bandages before coming in. The bathroom was a space I didn't like. Nothing ever went right when I came in here. Whether it was karma from a past life or not, my luck was downright terrible.
"…Haa… haa… haa, please, that's enough……."
I turned off the shower without even rinsing all the suds off my body. It hurt too much. Drip, drip. Red and white—the bathtub turned red. It was pretty. Beautifully decorated in my own color.
* * *
Sting, sting. I disinfected the open wounds again and applied ointment once more.
"Hiss… haa……."
Until I was fourteen, I'd asked Jiwoo or Minwoo to help, but after that, I couldn't bring myself to ask anymore out of guilt. I thought showing the children such terrible wounds wouldn't be good for them emotionally. I found a clean bandage in the first aid kit and wrapped it again. The first aid kit stored in the cleanest space in our house. It smelled, but at least it looked clean from the outside.
"…Oh, that's pretty nice."
The bandage was wrapped neatly. Smiling faintly as I looked at both arms, I lifted my left leg with my left hand and wrapped a bandage there too.
"It wraps on nicely."
The bandage kept wrapping smoothly today. I quickly suppressed the corners of my mouth that were trying to rise.
"…Ah."
Then I let out a sigh. Because I'd realized once again that Dad was gone. But even realizing that—even knowing there was no one left to hit me—didn't make it easy to smile again.
"……."
I was happy. Happy that there was no one left to hit me. …Truly.
"Should I sleep?"
Muttering that, I staggered onto the bed. The washing machine hummed as it spun rapidly. Just as I was about to use that sound as a lullaby and fall asleep—
Ding-dong—!
"…!!"
The doorbell echoed through the room.
* * *
Seeing how quickly time had passed, Minwoo excused himself from the meal with his friends. After thanking them for not drinking once they heard he had a family gathering—
"Thanks, guys."
"What are you saying? We're not strangers."
"Yeah! We're not strangers!"
"…If you can't do the dialect, don't. It's cringy. Hang in there, Minwoo."
His friends waved as they said that. Minwoo ran like crazy.
[Minwoo, where are you?]
"I'm running right now…!!"
[…Hurry up. Sis might change her mind.]
Jiwoo grumbled. Hearing her voice, Minwoo ran even harder. The cityscape changed. Hopeful neon signs gradually disappeared. Noisy crowds vanished. Dark alleyways appeared. Increasing trash, filthy stray cats. Running between them, Minwoo arrived at a villa.
"Here."
"…Sis, where's our big sister?"
"…She's not reading her texts. I think we'll have to ring the doorbell."
Jiwoo smiled bitterly as she said that. Minwoo caught his breath for a long while, looking at her, then asked, "Do I smell like alcohol?"
"No, you don't."
"Phew…! Thank god!"
Saying that, Minwoo took the lead and entered the villa. In front of the dark building, Minwoo stopped in front of a unit with a tense expression.
"Should I press it?"
"Yeah, press it."
When Jiwoo told him to press from behind, Minwoo took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
"……."
"……."
There was no sign of anyone. There should've been some sound of movement inside.
"Looks like she's not going to open."
"……."
"What do we do, sis?"
Just as Minwoo asked Jiwoo, a message arrived.
[You've been invited to a new chat room.]
[Enter the password to join.]
"……."
"…She already made the room, didn't she?"
"Big sis probably doesn't care, so she doesn't know."
Suhyun, lying down, was saying something that could've been done through the intercom. Jiwoo and Minwoo pressed the password with tense expressions, and—
"…!!"
"…Shh, don't be surprised. Sis will get hurt."
Minwoo was shocked by the smell, worse than he'd expected. The stench of trash, mixed with a faint metallic odor. But Minwoo stepped inside anyway. It wasn't that he hated Suhyun—it was the dirt he hated. And soon, Minwoo laid eyes on his eldest sister for the first time in a long while.
"…Sis."
"…J-just stay away a little."
Suhyun said, trembling. Minwoo silently nodded.