Chapter 8
Chapter 8
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: It's Not a Self-Deprecating Broadcast
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“Viewers say she’s a pretty popular streamer in her own right?”
“Ttalgwi, you mean?”
“Yeah. She’s not that great at the game, but apparently she’s got a pretty face and killer figure, so that’s why she’s popular.”
Shin Ara’s elaboration made my gaze drop without thinking.
Her denim shirt came into view, buttons strained taut.
I quickly hid my surprised expression by dropping my head.
Then her flat T-shirt, splattered with kimchi stew broth, caught my eye.
If Shin Ara was like this, just how amazing must Ttalgwi’s figure be?
My impression of Ttalgwi in my head sank another level.
“......But why would someone like that contact me?”
“Um... The one who threw the grenade at Victoria earlier was Ttalgwi...”
“Oh. I see. That explains the reputation for not being good at the game.”
“Huh? Why?”
“You don’t roll a grenade like that. It makes it easy for the opponent to pick it back up and throw it again. You need to toss it a bit farther away or bounce it off a wall.”
“I-is that so?”
Shin Ara looked a little flustered at my explanation.
My battlefield-honed trivia must have sounded useless to her.
Of course, it was a bit depressing not to get any sympathy, but I didn’t think badly of it.
Hearing battlefield experience dismissed meant this world was that much safer.
“But what does throwing a grenade at me have to do with her contacting me first?”
“Well... She got a ton of backlash for bullying Victoria... She’s probably reaching out to recover her image.”
“What? She gets hate just for one grenade?”
“She came at us with her squad three times. Victoria was really worn out because of it...”
“Oh... That was all the same people? I thought they were different each time...”
I rummaged through my memories to picture Ttalgwi.
But since I’d never paid attention to enemy faces, no one came to mind.
I was curious about her pretty face and figure, but it was a shame.
Looks like I’d have to search her nickname later.
“If she does contact you, how about adding her as a game friend? I don’t like that she stressed Victoria out, but she probably didn’t mean any harm. They say she’s got a nice personality for a streamer.”
“I don’t really mind... But why were you keeping an eye on her, Shin Ara?”
“Because I figured she wouldn’t do anything bad to Victoria. They’re both women, and she even streams. With viewers watching, she wouldn’t act suspicious, right?”
“Suspicious actions?”
“Yeah. Victoria’s super cute. I’m worried bad people might latch on to her.”
“......”
I could only nod quietly at Shin Ara’s words.
Not because I agreed I was cute, but because her concern seemed reasonable enough.
Bad people overflowed in every era.
Victoria from the past had even dealt with stalkers, so it made sense for Shin Ara to worry like this.
But I never dreamed it’d lead to screening friends like this.
I started suspecting the woman in front of me might actually be Victoria’s mom.
“Of course, it’s up to Victoria to decide. Don’t feel pressured—just think about it casually.”
“Yeah. I’ll consider it.”
“Hehe. Did we get ahead of ourselves with the kimchi stew? She might not even contact us. Oh! Maybe because dinner was kimchi stew?”
“......”
“......Sorry. I take back that joke. Don’t look at me like that.”
“......If you’re done eating, I’ll clear it.”
Putting the Ttalgwi issue aside like that, we started clearing the table.
Shin Ara wasn’t a big eater, so a lot was left, but since I planned to finish it later, it wasn’t a waste.
Seeing the once-empty fridge actually working made my heart feel full for some reason.
Finally, Victoria’s little studio felt like my home.
“But I was really shocked watching the stream. I had no idea Victoria could fight like that.”
Once cleanup was done, Shin Ara brought up something out of the blue.
I was taking off my broth-splattered T-shirt and gave her a what-do-you-mean look.
She averted her gaze elsewhere and awkwardly continued.
It wasn’t much to look at anyway, but I appreciated her consideration and quickly changed.
“Ahem. It felt like watching a movie protagonist. Some viewers said it was scary, but I thought it looked cool.”
“......Killing people looked cool?”
“I-it was game characters, not real people, right? And since it was a stream, the censorship was thorough. Not much gore...”
“Oh... Sorry for saying something weird. I forgot it was just a game...”
I’d basically called her a psycho, so I bowed my head in hasty apology.
The real psycho wasn’t her, imagining movie scenes from a game—it was me, mistaking game for reality while mowing down people.
At my reaction, Shin Ara gave a gentle smile and said it was fine.
Her aura was like a saint forgiving all sins, so a story I hadn’t told slipped out.
“Taking the enemy’s gun and shooting. Drawing a knife when ammo ran out. It was all reflexive. Must be habits from four years of nonstop fighting.”
“......You fought like that often?”
“In the Battle of Stalingrad, it was daily routine. Supplies were short, but enemies endless. Some comrades didn’t even get guns. We’d scavenge from enemies or wait for armed allies to die.”
As I spoke, that day’s horrors overlaid my vision.
The city crumbling under shelling. People driven mad by death. Nothing but fear and madness in sight.
I squeezed my eyes shut to escape the hellish scene.
But the scars etched in blood were too deep—the memories couldn’t be washed away or shaken off.
“It was probably the bloodiest urban combat I remember. Gunfire never stopped in the shell-ravaged ruins. No one knew where enemies would pop up. First time I killed with a knife was then. I can still hear the gurgle when I stabbed the throat.”
“Y-you had no choice... It wasn’t Victoria’s fault...”
“You’re right. Everyone said that. ‘You did nothing wrong. The fascist invaders are the bad ones.’ They comforted and encouraged each other like that. But those words didn’t comfort me. They only deepened my despair.”
“......Why was that?”
“Because it wasn’t my country. Not my nation, not my era, not my reality. I had zero reason to fight there. No patriotism, no loyalty, not even family to protect. It felt so unfair I went mad. I couldn’t understand why I had to fight.”
No matter how real, it was just a game world.
My identity was still in modern Korea, but they wanted me to be a Soviet hero.
That truth tormented me unbearably.
Risking life for a fictional world crushed my identity and will to live.
“I wished to die every day. Or just escape somewhere. But no chance came. When I came to, I was a Hero of the Soviet Union.”
“A hero?”
“Yeah. Basically a symbol to boost morale. ‘There’s this girl who fights amazingly. Her battles never lost. Join the war, fight alongside this cute, strong hero of the motherland.’ They hyped me up like that to rally the troops.”
“......”
“So I couldn’t run or even die freely. Instead, as a war hero, I got dragged to every hotspot. ‘Heroes die on the battlefield.’ Probably no soldier fought as many battles as me. I was in most Eastern Front engagements.”
Thinking back, it was possible only because it was a game world.
Victoria Chernakoshka was basically the protagonist.
Protagonists don’t get to die. Or lose.
Just to give players broad experiences. And because there’s a WWII victory ending.
“You really suffered... Thank you for coming back...”
My aggrieved pause ended with Shin Ara hugging me.
Tears I couldn’t hold back streamed from my eyes.
Her warm body heat strangely grounded me in reality.
A reality that might be as cruel as the game, or worse.
“The most unfair part is getting no reward... On the Eastern Front, I was a hero. More merits than anyone, medals galore. But back in reality? Nothing. No one acknowledges my efforts, understands my pain.”
“......”
“In reality, I’m just a lunatic. A crazy bitch claiming she possessed a game character. I thought coming back would fix everything. That’s why I endured the agony. But now? No place for me... Not a single person remembers me... You can’t do this to someone who endured for reality... What was it all for then...”
I vomited out everything buried in my chest.
Desperately holding back tears, I prayed like a beggar for salvation.
Shin Ara hugged me tighter.
As if afraid I’d slip away.
Her hot body heat affirmed reality.
In this reality as nightmarish as the game, her tear-soaked voice whispered softly.
“I believe you... I understand... Victoria. You’re not alone...”
Those longed-for words burst my sobs.
Words permitting me to exist in reality sparked hope.
And so, cradled in Shin Ara’s arms, I wailed at the top of my lungs.
Like a newborn, I cried endlessly until exhaustion pulled me into sleep as night deepened.