This Is Different From the Contract!
That day, there was a lot of rain. No, was it yesterday?
It doesn't matter.
Since I couldn't see it with my own eyes anyway.
Sigh
My memories began in the darkness.
Not even an inch ahead was visible, so I had to rely entirely on my senses.
It was mealtime. After a long time, I was enjoying meat.
...Is this right? The texture was a bit mushy, though.
On that day when I was savoring the special meal, that tiny happiness was naturally ruined.
Sigh
A voice came from the darkness.
It was my dad.
Today too, he was rolling around in the garbage pile and serving me cigarettes, that worthless human.
‘How am I supposed to find your cigarettes.’
At the very least, I couldn't see ahead.
—BAM!
“This horny bastard doesn't even listen to his old man anymore!?
There was no reply, so a fist flew at me.
While I couldn't find the cigarettes, why is my son so quick at finding them? I'm so happy, damn it.
‘Kueup, hah. It really hurts like hell.’
No matter what, I desperately held back my cry.
If I made a sound, that idiot would definitely get angry and cause a scene again.
“You ungrateful bastard, did your mom really raise you like that?”
“...
“...Ah,
That human was silent for a moment, then muttered,
“Yeah. You killed her.”
“...
“Yeah, you killed her.”
My mom, the poor woman who couldn't endure childbirth and died.
This is all my fault. It's the reason I'm living this kind of life.
“You are a demon. The devil who took away the most precious thing from me.”
‘...
“Remember this fact and never forget it for the rest of your life. Demian.”
Demian. It means demon. That's my name.
***
“Kueak... Puu...”
‘Is he asleep? Damn, but today ended early.’
After being hit, rolling around, and getting hit again and again,
Dad got tired first and passed out.
‘Sigh, I should prepare myself well too.’
In this gap, I had to stock up as much energy as possible.
If I got up again, he'd definitely beat me to death.
Especially on days like today when he got angry.
‘I thought it was the real thing before. My chest still stings...’
Pain is pain, and it's time to sleep.
Just sleeping wasn't enough to recover my stamina,
‘Good thing sleep comes quickly.’
The succubus approached fast. I didn't even close my eyes.
Whether I closed my eyes or not, it was the same anyway.
With the feeling of sinking into the ground, I was about to fall asleep.
‘... Huh, why is that open?’
I saw a faint yet intense ray of light coming in through the slightly open front door.
“Kuearok...”
‘Is this a chance? Should I... go out?’
My stiff head turned around.
Right now, Dad is buried in the trash and sleeping.
With his nose snoring through his nicotine-soaked nostrils, it's definitely him.
‘As long as I don't scream, he'll wake up.’
If I escape now, it's the perfect opportunity.
This luck won't come again.
However...
‘How can I know what's outside there?’
I don't know what’s beyond.
I only know that Dad goes to fetch meals from somewhere.
Whether there are people or monsters.
I know nothing about anything unknown to me.
Maybe, it might even be no exit at all.
‘... Screw it, I'm going out.’
But the current life is more terrifying than fear.
It would be better to take the challenge.
‘I'll try it with the mindset of eating some humble pie.’
Kiiik...
Holding a grudge rather than courage,
I cautiously pushed the iron door open and stepped outside.
With my barely open eyes,
“...Oh my god.”
When the bright sunlight poured in, all my fear washed away.
***
“The light is bullshit. It's so dark and cold.”
There is no paradise in the place I fled to.
Dad had complained about it once.
‘I never thought I'd end up agreeing with that human.’
I never even wished for paradise.
Why is hell coming out?
‘How did I end up like this?’
Until I saw the sunlight, it was all good.
The world outside the first sight of darkness was full of wonders, and every step felt alive.
Just, everything was good.
‘Every time I breathed, the cigarette smell wasn't there... wow.’
I thought it would be okay even if I died.
‘That's not what it means to say it's okay to die.’
As time passed, night came and the cold wind stabbed my wounds.
‘The bruises on my skin make it hurt more.’
I didn't know, but my body's condition was more serious than I thought.
I thought at least some bruises would appear on my body... ugh.
Why didn't it die sooner? I'm curious.
‘So what now? It's looking like I might die from the wind.’
The rag that was my clothes had long forgotten its role.
In the current situation with no strength to solve it and no one to help,
Feeling the approaching death was the best option.
‘Ha, yeah. I came out with resolve anyway.’
But originally, it was either live or die.
If I didn't get out, I'd eventually get beaten to death.
[Lord... I hope you take this demon bastard to hell...]
...While talking about Dad, the words he said came to mind.
Dad was a Christian at heart.
He was so desperate that he even prayed in his sleep.
“It would have been nice if the prayer wasn't insulting me.”
Thinking about it, it's unfair. The real demon is that guy—
Whooosh!!
“Kueak! Damn it...”
Damn, is this the real limit now?
In the wind, I lost my balance and fell.
No more strength to stand up, no mind to think of any plan.
My body was refusing the command.
“Ha, is this the end?”
A sudden surge of despair.
The life I barely managed to live was ending.
“Lord, did you say? Do you have a conscience?”
Suddenly, anger welled up.
Anger at Dad who abused me.
Anger at me who killed my mom.
Anger at this body that will die soon anyway.
“Why, why did you throw me into this pain.”
The last anger at the Lord who abandoned me.
With countless grudges and regrets packed in, I squeezed out my strength and shouted.
“If you have any thought... please...”
A tiny voice that didn't even reach properly.
“...It's pitiful.”
With that faint voice, a miracle happened.
When I came to, I was lying on the clouds.
No. On a bed as soft as the clouds, with a pillow as soft as the clouds.
Scratching, scratching—
“I still don't understand.”
“What don't you understand, child?”
An old man with white hair was cutting an apple next to me.
He was the one who picked me up. In a tattered state just before dying.
“Why did you save me? Such a useless dirty brat.”
“As a servant of the Lord, can you ignore a life that's dying?”
What a strange person.
A believer just like Dad, but completely different attitude.
He didn't try to stab me with the knife in his hand,
Nor did he get angry and shout that it's noisy.
“If you're uncomfortable, tell me anytime. Do you need another blanket?”
He just gently looked at me with a kind expression.
‘Honestly... it's nice. Too comfortable.’
I had spent my whole life only in cold and pain,
And I couldn't help but melt in this warmth.
“But child, why is your whole body covered in wounds? Where are your parents?”
Enjoying the calm, the old man spoke to me.
“I don't know either. I escaped while Dad was asleep.”
“...I see. Then, is your mother...?”
“She passed away while giving birth to me.”
“...
What? Suddenly, the old man went silent.
Is he thinking of taking me to my parents?
‘Yeah, a sudden burden like me would be tiring.’
After thinking, I opened my mouth.
“Don't worry. I'll find a way out on my own.”
“...I just asked in case, but where would you stay?”
“Of course there is none. Still, thanks to you, I get to live a bit longer.”
It would be embarrassing that he saved me, but what could I do?
Having survived until now is a miracle in itself.
“I understand. This too is the guidance of that person.”
“Grandpa?”
The old man made a determined expression and picked me up to go somewhere.
‘Is he going to abandon me? Well, just being saved is enough to be grateful.’
Saying goodbye to the bed and resigning myself...
“—Whoom?”
“That's not what you think. Don't worry.”
Suddenly, an apple was in my mouth.
...It's sweet.
The sound of footsteps followed by the old man taking me to a place,
“Here we are.”
It was the chapel.
There were no splendid multicolored glass windows or towering pulpits,
But that's why the space felt even more solemn and pious.
“The great one has led you here and made me meet you.”
In the center of that solemn space, the old man set me down and extended his hand.
It was a hand that couldn't even say it was beautiful with words,
But in my eyes, it shone with pure light.
“I swear to take you as my son and care for you while you grow.”
Son. Son.
“That means you'll become my dad, right?”
“That's right.”
The old man was completely mistaken.
Becoming a dad is poison to me.
“What do you get by beating me?”
“You have a long way to go in understanding about fathers.”
But the old man was firm.
As if he would never send me away.
“Throw away previous common sense. I'll tell you the real parents.”
“...
“By the way, I didn't ask your name.”
That firmness was cool.
It was quite different from the adults I've seen before.
“...Demian.”
Without realizing, I grabbed the old man's hand.
“Demian, yeah. From today, this is your home.”
On that day, a demon began to believe in God.