The Provincial Exam Failure Fabrication Squad (2)
A lie, by its nature, is all the easier to expose the thinner it is. That was precisely the problem with the plan Soso first proposed.
Even if it held for the moment, the Branch Manager — who had already taken an interest in me — was almost certain to ask how the Hyangsi had gone the instant he saw my face. Having never so much as set foot near the examination grounds, I would have nothing to answer with.
And answering would have been a problem in its own right. Whatever I said would be a paper-thin falsehood, and a man like the Branch Manager was not the sort to swallow something so flimsy.
I pointed out that weakness in Soso's proposal and fleshed it out until the lie could pass for truth. That was how our plan began — and so the three days of the Hyangsi came and went.
Throughout those days we followed Soso's original method: I stayed in my room, quiet as a dead mouse. She smuggled meals in twice a day so I wouldn't go hungry. Life itself barely changed. I was going to hole up and write either way. Then, on the third day — the day the Hyangsi ended — Soso brought word that the examination was over and that the candidates were pouring out of the testing grounds.
"Well then. Time to follow the plan, right?"
Soso nodded. To hide a tree, you hide it in a forest. From this moment on, I would become a scholar who had sat the Hyangsi, and I would melt into the crowd of men who truly had.
The results would be posted in roughly ten days — longer if the grading ran late, though even then it would only be two or three days more. According to Soso, from the moment the Hyangsi ended, the inns of Hyeongju erupted into drinking parties: the drinking parties of scholars who had just finished the exam.
Walk into any inn and you would find men in scholar's robes seated at tables, drinking. Every last one of them was waiting on the results. My job was simple — mingle, make friends, and then lead a few of those new friends back to the Branch Manager with a single request:
Could you spare rooms for a few friends I sat the Hyangsi with?
That one sentence would make me a man who had taken the exam. No one would think to question a counterfeit tree standing among real ones. I put on the proper appearance and stepped out of the room.
"Young master! You absolutely must bring someone back so I can keep living easy!"
"You little—"
Thwack!
I flicked her forehead hard. Working out the plan with her had finally made her motives clear. Ever since she had been assigned as the exclusive maid of the guest quarters, her workload had dropped dramatically — and if I left, she would be dumped back into the mountain of chores she used to carry. So she wanted to keep me here. As for me, Hyeongju's murderous cost of living made staying put far from unappealing. The biggest reason, of course, was dodging whatever the Branch Manager might do if his private misunderstanding of me ever soured. In short, Soso and I were bound by mutual interest.
But mutual interest or not, an annoying remark was still an annoying remark.
"Ow! Why?! Why did you hit me?!"
"Because it feels like you're using me."
"Using you? It's called mutual benefit!"
"Don't get your hopes up. How am I supposed to bring anyone back in a single day?"
"I wasn't hoping! I know that much. I only said it so you wouldn't feel unappreciated if I just told you to go."
"You little—"
Thwack!
"Ow! Why again?!"
"I barely tapped you. Stop being dramatic."
Leaving Soso behind, rubbing her head and scowling, I headed out into the marketplace. She had been right — the atmosphere was nothing like before.
Scholars who had spent days locked in their rooms studying were now wandering the stalls, sampling street food.
"Damn, there are a lot of people."
Two or three times the usual crowd. Hyeongju's marketplace was always busy, but now it was packed so tight you could barely find room to set a foot down.
I pushed through the throng and reached an inn. As expected, the place was overflowing with scholars who had finished the exam and come to drink.
"Welcome!"
A jeomsoi hurried over the moment I stepped inside.
"I don't mind sharing a table. Is there anywhere I can sit and drink?"
"Sharing is fine, you say? Of course! One moment, guest — let me ask around. Please wait right here."
Sharing a table wouldn't be a problem. I knew that from my own days as a jeomsoi. People of this era didn't exactly love the practice, but outright refusals were rare. After a short wait, the waiter came running back and led me to a corner.
A small table with two chairs — the kind of setup a proprietor throws together in a hurry when the house is full. Someone was already seated there, drinking over a spread of dishes.
"A pleasure to meet you."
I sat and offered a greeting. The man's expression was sour — he looked like someone who had botched the exam. If he had, he would already have a fair idea of the result.
Should I look for someone else?
I was still debating whether to stand when the man answered.
"A pleasure. Judging by your appearance, you sat the Hyangsi as well."
"I did. It seems you did too."
"Hah… yes. I did."
The depth of that sigh put a bad feeling in my gut. He really had bombed it, then.
"The results may not be what you hoped for, but the exam is over, is it not? Set your mind at ease. I'll get up so I don't disturb you."
I offered the consolation and started to rise — and then he spoke.
"Even if I sat it again, I don't believe I could do better than I did this time. I performed that well."
The unexpected answer dropped my half-lifted backside straight back into the chair.
"It's only that the friends who came up with me from Agyang all despaired of the exam, packed their bags at once, and went home. So I was sitting here drinking alone in that loneliness."
Found him.
To land someone like this on the first try! He had done well enough to stay in Hyeongju, and his friends had already left. This was an S-rank catch I could not afford to miss.
"Is that so? Then I've spoken out of turn."
I steadied my racing heart, determined not to let this beginner's-luck opportunity slip away.
"By way of apology, allow me to buy you a drink."
I called the jeomsoi and ordered Dongpo pork for a side dish, along with Jugyeopcheong.
"Then I won't refuse. I'll drink gratefully."
The man accepted the Jugyeopcheong I poured without protest. Of course he did — the Bamboo Leaf Green that shows up so casually in wuxia novels is, in reality, one of the finest liquors an inn can serve. Extremely fine.
I had learned that during my jeomsoi days. A single serving of Jugyeopcheong cost more than a high-end dish like five-spice braised pork. And yet in those novels, characters who claim to be broke order plain noodles… and then Jugyeopcheong.
A historical error of the highest order!
Back then I had known nothing and let it slide. After working as a jeomsoi, though, it was the kind of blunder that made me want to leave a comment calling the author out.
"Khh—! Thoroughly aged and fiercely strong."
"Is that so? Then I'll have some as well."
I had ordered the Jugyeopcheong because I refused to lose the prize sitting in front of me — but I had never tasted it myself. The price alone had always been reason enough to stay away.
So I poured a cup with high expectations, took a swallow — and my eyes flew wide.
That taste!
It hit like the Andong soju I used to drink in the old world: pure fire. The proof had to be forty or higher. My stomach, accustomed to the mild fifteen- or sixteen-percent soju of modern times, was thoroughly unprepared. A single cup sent heat roaring up from my gut.
"Khh—! Cough! It is strong, no question."
"Brother, you've treated me to such fine liquor and we haven't even exchanged names. I am Gu Un-sang of the Gu Clan of Agyang."
"Lee Munhyuk. I'm from the countryside — no family worth mentioning. And my knowledge is limited, so please forgive me if I know little of the Gu Clan."
At that, Gu Un-sang only smiled.
"Hahaha! Not at all. Speaking freely, without regard to family, is a fine thing in itself, is it not? But… you said your name was Munhyuk?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Munhyuk… Munhyuk…"
He murmured the name, turning it over.
"Is something the matter?"
"No. Only that it is the same name as someone I hold in great respect. I only recently came to know of him, but his learning is so extraordinary that I have come to revere him."
"To share a name with such a man is an honor."
"Hahaha! No, no — you needn't go that far. To be honest, I don't know all that much about him myself…"
He spoke with a voice full of regret.
"You said you did well on this exam, Brother Gu. Was it not difficult?"
I hadn't sat it myself, but given that his friends had given up and gone home, it must have been hard. I asked on that assumption.
"Difficult? Very. Especially the third section. That third section is what made my friends abandon the exam and head home."
"Then you must have studied harder than they did, Brother Gu — enough to write answers for that third section."
I refilled his empty cup with Jugyeopcheong as I spoke.
"I wrote answers, yes. But if you ask whether I studied harder than my friends…"
Gu Un-sang shook his head.
"I was lacking, if anything. I was simply lucky."
"Luck is a kind of skill, is it not? You worked hard, and fortune followed."
Every time his cup emptied, I filled it again.
"Brother Lee, your words are right a hundred times over. But this time, it truly was luck. If not for a book I read the night before the exam, I would have followed my friends back down to Agyang."
"You make me curious about that book."
"If the chance arises, I will show it to you."
"I'd be grateful. But Brother Gu — what did you write for that difficult third-section question?"
I had no idea what the third-section question had been. I asked purely for information. There was always the chance the Branch Manager had heard about the hard problem and would quiz me on it.
But the answer that came out of Gu Un-sang's mouth was strangely familiar. Content about the Han dynasty and the Yellow Turbans — material I couldn't have failed to know if I tried. Before I realized it, my mouth was moving on its own.
"Ohhh! Brother Lee, you are remarkable! I only learned those facts by luck, from a book the night before — and you know them this well? I am in awe."
"Ahem. It's nothing."
"Might I ask your age, Brother Lee? Looking at you, I would have guessed we were about the same — but after speaking with you, that no longer seems right."
"Thirty-three."
"!!! Thirty-three, you say? I took you for someone near my own age, just past twenty… Forgive me. You are my elder."
"Hahaha. We've only just met — what elder and younger is there between us?"
"I, Gu Un-sang, have been deeply moved by our conversation. I will regard you as my hyung-nim."
From all the liquor I had been pouring into him, Gu Un-sang's face had gone beet-red.
"Ahem… You seem a bit drunk…"
"Drunk? Not at all. I am perfectly sober. So please — allow me to call you hyung-nim. Hyung-nim! Hic!"
Now he was hiccupping. Forty-proof liquor, drunk without pause — he had gone under all at once.
"Very well. Call me hyung-nim. Now settle down."
Gu Un-sang's loud, drunken carrying-on drew stares from every direction.
"Uuuhahaha! A new hyung-nim in this vast land of Hyeongju — what a fine day this is! Hic! Now receive this younger brother's greeting!"
He lurched to his feet and began to bow — and toppled straight to the floor, where he stayed.
"I didn't mean to get him this drunk…"
And so I hoisted Gu Un-sang onto my back and set out for the Cheonpung Merchant Group.
"Is that not Scholar Lee?"
The moment I stepped through the gate, the one person I least wanted to meet appeared right in front of me.
"Branch Manager?"
Recognizing me, he walked over. Then, with the warmth of a man who understood the situation perfectly:
"Heh heh heh. The Hyangsi is over, so I see you've had a cup or two."
"After all that strain, a man has to let off steam somehow."
"Quite right. But… the gentleman with you…?"
The Branch Manager pointed at the man slung over my shoulder.
"A friend I made through this Hyangsi. His name is… of the Gu Clan, Gu Un-sang. Yes — Gu Un-sang."
At that, the Branch Manager gave a slight start.
"Gu Un… sang? Gu Un-sang, you say? Of the Gu Clan of Agyang…? That Gu Un-sang?"
"Yes. He introduced himself as such."
The words were barely out of my mouth before he spun around and bellowed at everyone in sight.
"You there!! You there!!!! Quickly, quickly!!! Attend to this gentleman!!!"
At the Branch Manager's frantic shouting, I turned my head to look at Gu Un-sang and thought:
Just who did I bring home?