Mayday! Hamster, Do You Copy!
Kieeeek—!
The giant dragonfly let out a grotesque shriek.
"Sounds like someone's in a bad mood."
If anything, my tiny frame turned out to be an asset, letting me slip just barely out of reach of every strike. Had I still been in my adult body from my past life, those razor-sharp forelegs would have snatched me up long ago and shredded me clean down to the jaw.
"Ugh... horrifying."
"Less babbling, more focusing! Squeak—!"
The hamster yanked hard on my hair.
"Ow! I am focusing, in my own way! My thought circuits just spin faster than everyone else's, so stray thoughts keep leaking out the sides. Is that so hard to understand?"
"Ah, wrapping up ADHD in the grandest possible terms, I see. Squeak—!"
"Well, that is what most people call it!"
I stared straight into the dragonfly's face. Strange as it sounds, a weird kinship stirred in my chest, not unlike the one I felt whenever I looked at a haembugi.
"I think it's hungry."
"No doubt about it! Squeak—!"
"Then wouldn't I be fine if I threw you to it, Mr. Hamster?"
"What kind of talk is that?! Use your head—would a snack my size fill a belly that big?! Squeak—?!"
"Dragonflies live on mosquitoes, you know."
I pointed at the monster. "Mosquitoes are way smaller than it is, and you're way smaller than it is. For all we know, it'd take you for one and get so busy trying to gulp you down that it'd forget all about me."
"You're actually serious. Squeak—?"
"But there's no other option! If only one of us walks away, it should be the one with the most years left on the clock. Me."
Above all, I had managed exactly one hamburger so far.
"Forget I said anything. Just keep dodging a little longer! I'll think of something! Squeak—!"
"You're awfully demanding for someone who just sits still on my head, Mr. Hamster."
Paying my words no mind whatsoever, it began chanting something strange.
Kieeeek—!
While we were locked in our standoff, the tent beside us flapped, and the dragonfly shot toward it in a blur and began shredding the canvas to ribbons with its mandibles.
"What is it doing?"
After a long wrestling match with the tent, the dragonfly flung aside the ragged remains and wheeled around, this time charging straight at the glittering karaoke sign.
"Guess it reacts sharply to movement and shiny things. Also, wow, it looks really, really dumb."
I peeked into the bag in my hand. Sure enough, the banana milk had burst somewhere during all that running and was now a sad, deflated goner.
"If I throw something, won't it snap at it?"
I fished out the milk and hurled it at the dragonfly with everything I had. In one fluid snap, the monster plucked the carton out of the air and crammed it into its mouth.
"Whoa—! Amazing!"
It spat the carton right back out, apparently finding the taste wanting.
KieeeEEK—!
"This is bad! Its cry just grew a whole syllable! We're not nearly done yet?!"
It was clearly furious. Not that I know how to read an insect's face. Purely my subjective impression.
"Honestly, does that mouth never rest?! Squeak—!"
No sooner had the hamster's roar burst from atop my head than a gigantic magic circle spread open beneath the dragonfly.
Explosion
KABOOOOM—!
A pillar of fire erupted skyward, so tall it seemed it would split the heavens. A church retreat campfire would not have held a candle to that firepower.
Wait. This was so not the moment.
I jolted, spun on my heel, and started sprinting home at full speed.
"Wh-why are you suddenly running?! I told you it's safe now! Squeak—!"
"Safe?! Nothing about this is safe! My bank account is at DEFCON 1 right now!"
This was a flagrant violation of the parting advice this body's parents had left behind: keep your head down and live quietly. If so much as a rumor went around that I was involved, the monthly child support deposits would be cut off without question.
"I have to get out of here before someone films it and it spreads across the internet!"
...But contrary to my fervent wishes, the world's reaction was swift.
On screen, footage from a shelter's CCTV was playing.
The tiny wave of my hand, flung out in startled confusion, had been framed by the camera angle so perfectly that it looked exactly as if I had conjured the crimson magic circle with a single gesture and set off the explosion.
My figure on screen had been mosaic-blurred, but...
"...At this point, even my parents would recognize me, wouldn't they?"
"They'd see through it in one glance and then some. Squeak—!"
I was done for. At this rate, the child support getting cut off was only a matter of time.
"Ah! Even if it was an emergency, how could you kill it so openly and so spectacularly!"
"I pull you out of the water, and you demand my bundle as payment, is that it?! Squeak—!"
"...Ugh, old fart."
"Wha—old fart?! Do you have any idea who I am, spouting such blasphemy—! Squeak—!"
Let the hamster throw a fit on top of my head all it wanted; I barely clung to my spiraling thoughts as I crumpled onto the sofa.
"So what's this oh-so-impressive identity of yours?"
"Ahem—! I am, in short, one of the Transcendents who govern the Tower. Squeak—!"
"Ah— yes. Of course you are."
Farewell, my 365 days of haembugi for every meal.
"Why that reaction?! Did you not behold my power but a moment ago?! Squeak—!"
"Easy for you to say. Right now I'm not even sure I'll get to eat a haembugi tomorrow."
Transcendent, schmancendent—the hamburger set waiting for me tomorrow mattered infinitely more.
So what was I supposed to buy hamburgers with now? A part-time job was a nonstarter; no one would hire a body that read as a grade-schooler. And the Tower was out of the question too—Unawakened could not even set foot inside.
Haah... where was I supposed to scrape up money?
"It seems I must thoroughly reeducate you in manners, Squeak—!"
"Huh? Wait just a second!"
A talking hamster—couldn't that fetch a tidy sum?
...No. Who would buy a hamster with, at best, a few months left to live?
"Aaah! This was no time for that!"
I bounced up from the sofa like a released spring.
"Do not move without warning! Squeak—!"
But what if, before my parents saw the news, caught on to my identity, and came down on me, I ordered hamburgers in bulk? If I put the fridge and the freezer to full use, I could hold out for at least a week, couldn't I?
Without wasting another second, I opened the delivery app and started firing hamburgers into my cart like a rapid-fire barrage.
Ten shrimp burgers.
Ten bulgogi burgers.
Ten crispy burgers.
And, seizing the moment, ten hanwoo double burgers as well—the premium Korean beef luxuries my past-life self had never dared to dream of ordering.
As a bitter compromise, the mozzarella burgers got just two; once the cheese cooled and stiffened, the damage would be too cruel.
Forty-two in all.
At two haembugi per meal, three meals a day, that came out to exactly one week's worth of haembugi rations. Resupply complete.
Before pressing the payment button, I clasped my hands together and prayed with everything I had.
O Lord, if Thou art watching, grant unto me my daily bread of forty-two haembugi.
"Hoo, hoo."
With one last rough breath, I tapped the payment button with trembling fingers.
A silent moment. I swallowed hard.
Ding—!
Your payment has been completed.
"EUREKA—!!!"
Too worked up to help myself, I started headbanging on the spot.
"Squeeeak! What are you doooiiing—!"
Oh, right. There was a hamster on my head.
The moment my head jerked to a stop, the law of inertia sent the little guy sailing through the air in a lovely parabola, straight toward the middle of the living room.
Thud!
The one who had planted himself headfirst into the rug squirmed around and righted himself.
"Squeak! Squeak-squeak—!"
"What's gotten into you all of a sudden? Talk like normal."
Then he scrambled back up my body, settled onto my head once more, and spoke.
"Haah— I can only converse with you while perched up here, so kindly stop flinging my head around. Squeak."
The hamster heaved a deep sigh, as if even scolding me had become exhausting.
"Oh, come on. Liar. What kind of principle even is that?"
"What would I possibly gain from deceiving you, you brat?! The crown of the head is where a human's mana gushes out most abundantly. Squeak."
Oh— so that's why there's a smell coming off the top of my head?
"But I don't have anything like mana?"
"What nonsense. You're not merely emitting it—you're overflowing with the stuff. Squeak."
"I was told I'm Unawakened, though."
"What does that have to do with anything? This 'Awakener' business is nothing more than a system we implanted so that humans could adapt at speed. Squeak."
Clap, clap, clap!
So this hamster was on a whole other level than I'd given it credit for. This time, I was genuinely stunned.
"Whoa—! You were someone incredibly important, huh?"
"Have I not been saying so this whole time? Squeak!"
The hamster gave my hair a firm tug. Puzzled, I tilted my head. My head absolutely did not bend because a hamster's strength forced it to.
"But then why would someone so important just leave a child to die?"
"Back then, your mana was not overflowing like this. Most likely, when your soul changed, the sealed mana circuits were forced open. Squeak."
"If they were opened, that means this body had this much mana to begin with, right?"
"Precisely. The vessel itself never changed. Someone must have artificially suppressed it. Squeak."
Deliberately sealed? Why on earth would anyone do that?
No plausible culprit came to mind. ...Hmm. It was obviously because I had failed to eat my hamburger on time and my brain had overheated. Definitely that.
"But why is someone so important walking around as a hamster? You don't have some secret hobby of turning into people's pets to spy on them, do you?"
"What do you take me for?! And for the record, I am a woman! Squeak—!"
"Ah— really? The way you talk sounds like a middle-aged man, so I had my suspicions. Then why are you like this?"
"It is a very long story. Listen closely. The time was..."
Meanwhile, why were my hamburgers taking so long?
Ding-dong—!
Speak of the devil—there they were, my hamburgers!
"Yes, coming! My boogie-boogie haembugi is here~"
"You insolent brat! At least pretend to listen! Squeak—!"
Click—!
When I opened the door, what greeted me was not a hamburger but a tall, strapping man. Navy hair and navy eyes. Anyone could tell at a glance that he and I were cut from the same bloodline.
BANG!
"Mayday! Mayday! Hamster, do you copy!"
"I see him too. Squeak."
"My hamburgers are about to be captured. What's your assessment?"
"Haah— and in this situation, hamburgers are your first concern. Squeak."
Of course they were. That was a full week's worth of hamburgers.
"Open the door, Ban Harang."
A deep baritone drifted through the door.
"I suppose I'd better open it?"
"The hamburgers are out there either way. Squeak."
"Good point."