The Narrow Door (13)
Even so, Su-ryeon did not so much as change her expression at Yoon Seo-a’s reaction.
“Can’t you tell just by looking? I’m nursing her.”
“Hmm, nursing. From where I stand, it looked rather as if Miss Hong Su-ryeon was about to kiss Miss Ha-eun.”
“You’re free to see it that way.”
“M-Miss Su-ryeon?”
“…What?”
At those words, Yoon Seo-a’s brow twitched. There was no need to explain that this was the tell of a Yoon Seo-a whose mood had soured.
Already radiating irritation from every pore, she finished climbing the stairs and spoke.
“So. Were you truly about to kiss her, Miss Hong Su-ryeon?”
“And if I was?”
“Well now. I knew it already, but you really are a troublesome one.”
As Yoon Seo-a made a troubled face and tapped her forehead with a fingertip, I hurriedly pushed Su-ryeon’s shoulder away, sat up, and forced an awkward laugh.
“Ah, haha… Miss Su-ryeon, really, your jokes go too far.”
“Pardon? I wasn’t joking…”
“It was a joke! Right?!”
“…Well, let’s just leave it at that.”
I sent her a desperate signal to please, please match the mood; Su-ryeon, left with no choice, muttered in a sulky voice.
Seizing that answer, I turned hastily toward Yoon Seo-a.
“You heard her too, Miss Seo-a? It was just a joke. A joke, I tell you…”
“A joke, is it. I do enjoy a good joke myself, so allow me to offer one to Miss Su-ryeon.”
So saying, Yoon Seo-a approached slowly, bent her head, and whispered into Su-ryeon’s ear.
“Touch what’s mine one more time, and you won’t find it amusing.”
She called it a joke, yet deliberately raised her voice just enough for me to hear. I stared at her with trembling eyes; she paid me no mind, simply smiled sweetly and winked at Su-ryeon.
“Understood?”
“My, what a bloodthirsty joke, Miss Yoon Seo-a.”
“It’s only a joke, after all. And Miss Ha-eun?”
“Y-yes?”
The sudden arrow flying my way made me sit up straight without thinking. Yoon Seo-a let out a sigh.
“Really now. We have a promise, so I can’t just lock this one away somewhere…”
“M-Miss Seo-a?”
“A joke. A joke. You like those, don’t you?”
I don’t like jokes like that. I smiled stiffly through my trembling; the smiling Yoon Seo-a gently stroked my hair and continued.
“What do you think is the act people instinctively hate most?”
“Uh… I’m not sure…?”
“Personally, I believe it’s discrimination. Because it makes you feel relatively unnecessary compared to others. Of course, discriminating according to importance is unavoidable, but from the receiving end it simply feels unpleasant and sad, you know?”
In other words, treat her the same way I treated Su-ryeon. Don’t be so gentle only with Su-ryeon.
But as she herself had said, discriminating according to importance was unavoidable, wasn’t it?
Besides, it was only natural that people instinctively disliked and loathed whatever tormented them.
Trauma itself was one of the defense mechanisms that activated so one would never forget—and would avoid—the things one hated and found painful.
Of course Yoon Seo-a would never consider any of that. The only thing that mattered to her was herself alone. I nodded slowly.
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“I hope you’ll show it in your actions, not just your words.”
With that, Yoon Seo-a turned her back and headed for the stairs. Before descending, she looked back at us.
“I’ve already prepared food for both of you, so come down whenever it’s convenient.”
Finished speaking, Yoon Seo-a slowly went down the stairs.
I watched the stairwell until the sound of her footsteps had completely vanished, then let out a long breath.
I really thought I was done for. I was still smoothing down my startled heart when Su-ryeon spoke with perfect calm.
“Miss Yoon Seo-a let it go surprisingly easily.”
“…That was easy?”
She had gotten angry enough, I thought. Su-ryeon shrugged.
“I was deliberately needling her so she’d explode. For her to stop at that level means she let it go.”
“Miss Su-ryeon, please don’t deliberately provoke Miss Seo-a…”
“Why not? If it comes to it, the two of us can just run away.”
“That’s exactly the problem.”
There were ways to resolve this without running, yet that was the only path she considered. I raked a hand through my hair and sighed.
“I just hope Miss Seo-a doesn’t take this out on me or you.”
“Then running away with me really is—”
“I already said no…!”
Su-ryeon had a surprisingly reckless streak. I caught her arm, made her sit properly, and spoke.
“Of course I’m grateful that you’re thinking of me. But you have your own life, Miss Su-ryeon. You can’t just throw it away for my sake.”
“How is that throwing it away? I’m using it to protect the person I like.”
“The person you like…! Miss Su-ryeon, haven’t you gotten a little too bold?!”
“We’ve already said everything that can and can’t be said. Backing out now would just be strange. More importantly, Miss Ha-eun?”
“Y-yes?”
She shuffled closer on her knees and seized both my hands. My body went rigid of its own accord as I answered stiffly.
“What we were about to do earlier… shall we continue?”
“Ah, what we were about to do earlier…”
“The kiss.”
“Ki…!”
The words came out so freely that my face felt like it was burning.
No—it must actually have turned red. My skin was delicate; the slightest excitement showed immediately on my face.
Sure enough, Su-ryeon laughed softly and whispered.
“Miss Ha-eun, your face is red.”
“I know even if you don’t say it…!”
“So? Do you want to?”
That quiet, coaxing voice made me squeeze my eyes shut without thinking.
Kissing experience—unwanted as it was—I had in abundance. Every time Yoon Seo-a got hold of me, we had pressed our lips together countless times.
Honestly, I had grown familiar enough that I could even regulate my breathing while kissing now.
Anything a little too rough still left me dizzy in no time, but at least the lighter acts I could manage with ease.
Do I even have the right to kiss Miss Su-ryeon, after being forced to kiss Yoon Seo-a so many times? The moment that thought struck, the fluttering in my chest vanished as if it had never been, and my whole body went cold.
“…Miss Ha-eun? Are you all right?”
Perhaps sensing my state, Su-ryeon spoke with a puzzled look.
I tried to force words past trembling lips, then pressed them shut and smiled instead.
There was nothing else I could do. But to Su-ryeon, that smile must have looked different.
“Why are you making that kind of smile again?”
Su-ryeon sighed and reached out. The hands cupping both my cheeks kneaded them like dough, then used her thumbs to drag the corners of my mouth back down.
I didn’t need a mirror to know I was making an ugly face. As I thought that, Su-ryeon asked,
“Do you know?”
“…Know what?”
“Every time Miss Ha-eun smiles like that, it looks to me as if you’re crying.”
I couldn’t tell what “that kind of smile” meant. But it seemed that, in Su-ryeon’s eyes, there were many times when even my laughter did not look like laughter.
When I said nothing, Su-ryeon continued.
“Of course, people like us must never show tears carelessly. The only times tears are allowed are when they become a dagger that stabs the other person, when they can change the flow of things. Tears shed simply out of emotion become nothing but a weakness.”
Su-ryeon gently brushed the skin beneath my eyes with her fingertips. I hadn’t shed any tears, so there was no moisture to wipe away, yet she carefully, repeatedly stroked under my eyes as if drying them.
“But when you’re with people you can open your heart to, there’s no need to hide even that. Because they’re people you can trust. People with whom you can share tears and sorrow alike.”
So saying, Su-ryeon met my gaze.
“Am I still not that kind of person to you, Miss Ha-eun? Is that why you’re making such a sad smile?”
“Miss Su-ryeon…”
“Then let me say it once more, right here.”
Before I could even close my eyes, Su-ryeon’s face was suddenly close. Hot warmth and breath covering my lips brushed my skin.
As the kiss continued, as if she were cradling my lips, I laid my hands over the ones holding my face.
Whatever signal she took that for, Su-ryeon’s kiss grew more intense. I closed my eyes tightly and, at the same time, recalled her pupils.
Those brown eyes that, even while kissing, never closed the way mine did, but kept exchanging gazes with me. Eyes that gave a warm, gentle feeling so different from the red that had tormented me.
When the kiss that was both short and long ended and we parted, Su-ryeon was breathing a little hard, as if short of breath. I, on the other hand, was only slightly winded; I was not gasping the way she was.
That difference brought me sadness again, yet not as much as before. The warmth touching me was telling me it didn’t matter.
“I will always be on Miss Ha-eun’s side—no, on Ha-eun’s side.”
“…You’re not going to say that when other people are around, right?”
“Of course not. This is our secret alone. So you say it too, Ha-eun. My name.”
At Su-ryeon’s words, I spoke with a smile that, unlike before, held real feeling.
“Yes, Su-ryeon.”
“They’re just playing around.”
In the dead of night, when everyone in the study group had fallen asleep, Shin So-hye had gone to the bathroom. The locked room across the hall was now open and in use by Yoon Seo-a.
Inside, computers and other electronic devices lay scattered in a messy heap. Yet Yoon Seo-a sat unconcerned in a chair with her knees drawn up, clicking the mouse.
What the screen displayed was Hong Su-ryeon and Yu Ha-eun exchanging kisses in the bedroom. The two of them kissed so tenderly that any onlooker would feel envy, then finally parted.
“So you say it too, Ha-eun. My name.”
“Yes, Su-ryeon.”
“They’re just playing around.”
Watching the scene, Yoon Seo-a muttered in a sinister voice.
At Acacia Private Academy, when measuring the degree of a relationship, dropping honorifics and calling someone by name alone meant the closest of friendships—or something beyond.
No, even outside Acacia Private Academy, addressing someone by name alone was something only close people did.
Of course Yoon Seo-a herself was on a first-name basis with Yu Ha-eun, yet she had never dropped the honorific.
More than that, in places where she was not present, she was still being called “Yoon Seo-a” in that stiff, formal way.
Later, perhaps out of consideration, it had become “Miss Seo-a,” but having already witnessed this, Yoon Seo-a’s mood had hit rock bottom.
“As I thought, she’s in the way. Miss Hong Su-ryeon.”
Should I just get rid of her? Yoon Seo-a sincerely considered it.
Until now she had gone easy because the girl was Yu Ha-eun’s friend, but now the line had been crossed—thoroughly crossed.
Kissing Yu Ha-eun, of all people. She was mine. How dare she.
“In the way…”
Yet at the same time, a sense of waste rose as well. She already knew that Hong Su-ryeon deliberately tossed out irritating remarks to keep her in check.
That aside, however, Hong Su-ryeon was someone with whom conversation flowed remarkably well. If their relationship were different, Yoon Seo-a would have wanted to use her as a doormat for herself and Yu Ha-eun. Yeon Chae-rin as a bonus, too.
At first she had only coveted Yu Ha-eun, but now she wanted the other two as well. Of course it was not the same emotion she felt for Yu Ha-eun. That one was a mixture of sexual love and affection; for these two it was purely affection alone.
Simply put, she just wanted to be friends—yet Yoon Seo-a, whose human relationships had been reset countless times because of her father, held a twisted notion.
An equal relationship called “friendship” could be easily destroyed by someone else’s will, so better to make them her property so no one else could take them. Of course, thinking of people as objects was not normal, so the only method was to seize a weakness.
A weakness such that even if external pressure forced them to leave her side, the very act of leaving would inflict enormous damage. That way, no matter how much outsiders meddled in her relationships, they would never be able to escape.
“A weakness… this should be enough.”
She applied a heavy blur so that Yu Ha-eun’s face was unrecognizable, then further emphasized Hong Su-ryeon’s face. Simply raising the brightness on her face a little and slightly killing the surrounding contrast was enough.
With that, a photograph was complete that anyone who knew Hong Su-ryeon’s face would recognize at a glance as Hong Su-ryeon—caught in the taboo of kissing someone of the same sex.
That the partner was Yu Ha-eun still irritated her, but having secured one weakness improved her mood a little.
Of course she did not think this alone would let her blackmail Hong Su-ryeon. A same-sex kiss would earn nothing more than disciplinary action at best.
Still, it would serve well enough as a warning that eyes were everywhere.
“As for Yeon Chae-rin, is there nothing suitable—”
Unlike the irritating Hong Su-ryeon, Yeon Chae-rin was relatively docile. Precisely because of that, there was nothing that could properly be called a weakness.
Then shall I pressure her through her parents?
Come to think of it, the company her parents worked for seemed to be an affiliate of a group that had connections with her father. Yoon Seo-a hummed as she tapped the keyboard.