Can I Fuck Your Mom? (15)
At 178 cm tall and just 46 kg, his frame was far too frail for a man. With no trace of masculinity even if you washed your eyes and searched, the nickname "Gandhi" stuck due to his cursed skeleton-like body. He wasn't popular in Korea, but in America? Forget it. Trying to drown his loneliness abroad with money was where it all went wrong. Women wouldn't even glance at him otherwise.
Getting mistaken for a patient while wandering the hospital was routine, and his ribcage-exposed physique became a reliable joke among colleagues to liven up the dull atmosphere. But how could he spend his boiling youth alone? Unable to endure the constant teasing and contempt, Kim Minjae gave in to curiosity and lust, attempting prostitution. Worried about getting caught, he borrowed an easy mark's name—Kim Hoyoung. Posing as his friend for minimal safety, he met the woman... only to get busted by the cops on the first deal, arrested, and fired from the hospital.
Luckily, his mom never found out. Using homesickness as an excuse, he returned to Korea. Here, rumors wouldn't spread, and he could quietly open a practice and live in peace—or so he thought. Damn it. Who could've guessed using that guy's name would bring such catastrophe.
"Between dismemberment and being torn apart by chariots, which do you prefer?"
Death was already sealed; now they were debating the method.
"Wait... Yeah, that was my mistake. Using a friend's name for prostitution. But it didn't hurt Kim Hoyoung, right?"
"Not only did you secretly steal Hoyoung-nim's name, you brazenly acted cocky in front of him without a word of apology, sold your own mom for money, and then punched Oh Jeongyeon when she fucked Hoyoung-nim—and you're saying no harm done?"
Park Jisoo's sharp words shut the fake doctor's mouth. Heavy silence enveloped the director's office.
Kim Minjae swallowed dryly and finally spoke. "Wh-what's it to you? What's your relationship with Kim Hoyoung that you're so pissed?"
"Nothing special."
"Huh?"
The clean response was unexpected. Park Jisoo's expression was cool and smooth.
"Not friends, obviously not lovers, not classmates, not neighbors. If I had to say, we're... the kind where I tried to assassinate him and failed."
"Assassinate?"
Park Jisoo stomped her foot lightly, playing a joke. Her face drifted into a wistful reminiscence of her foolish youth.
"Yeah... so we're not exactly on good terms. Not like Hea-e or Jiwon, real close ones. Not like Himeko or Bianca with overwhelming talents, or Isia and Oh Jeongyeon whom he already knew and feels attached to."
A scoff escaped her lips—self-mockery.
"I know I'm a side character. My desperate scheming led to founding a company to keep my connection to Hoyoung-nim useful. Now I'm just an errand girl handling his annoying tasks, but better than being forgotten."
"What the hell are you talking about..."
"You don't need to understand. Just know this."
Park Jisoo handed over a document with a solemn face.
"Women who fall into Hoyoung-nim's grasp have their lives ruined there. No one escapes. Me? I live for the thrill of making money now, but if Hoyoung-nim asked for my entire fortune, I'd hand it over without a second's hesitation. No strings? I'd kill my parents in a heartbeat if he said so. That's us. Hoyoung-nim over career. Hoyoung-nim over family. Well... hard for a guy like you to get."
"No... what is this?"
Ignoring her words, Kim Minjae stared at the paper, eyes glued.
It was that shocking.
"I, Kim Minjae, hereby completely sever all mother-son bonds with Oh Jeongyeon and acknowledge that, across past, present, and future, we are total strangers."
(Seal) Signature
"What the fuck? You joking? No way I'd sign this shit!"
He crumpled and threw it naturally. The paper ball smacked Park Jisoo's cheek before hitting the floor.
"Ow... Frail body, nasty temper. Got beat by Hoyoung-nim, huh?"
"Yeah! We traded blows, so we're even! No reason for you guys to resent me!"
"Your punches and Hoyoung-nim's are the same?"
"What's the difference?!"
"Hoyoung-nim can beat anyone whenever he feels like it. Hit him back? Instant death sentence. Common sense, right? You went to college?"
"Grad school too! Fuck! Anyway, no signing that retarded paper! Bring my mom now! You know where she is!"
"And if I do?"
"Take her and live together! She's my mom!"
"...Still clinging to that delusion?"
"Delusion?"
Park Jisoo picked up the crumpled paper and smoothed it out.
"Yeah. Your mother-son tie with Oh Jeongyeon was cut long ago."
"How do you cut a parent-child bond?"
"Oh Jeongyeon no longer sees you as her son."
She handed the Renunciation of Maternal Rights back.
"She wrote this herself."
"What? Mom...?"
Kim Minjae vividly remembered how obsessively Oh Jeongyeon loved him—sometimes annoyingly so.
"No way. Won't believe it till I see her myself."
"...Sigh... What a pain you are."
Frustrated that the paper was useless, Park Jisoo scratched her head. She called somewhere, reporting the failed plan.
"Yes... What now? Oh, take him there? Got it."
After hanging up, she led Kim Minjae to the 4th floor of the same building.
His clinic was on the 2nd. He'd never been above the 3rd. No elevator button for 4 even—assumed intentional due to the unlucky number. But there was a secret passage for select people.
"Mom's here?"
"Yeah. Not the mom you imagine."
The door opened, revealing her meaning instantly.
"Long live Hoyoung-nim! Long live Hoyoung-nim! As the lowly minion of Hoyoung-nim's personal guard and Mom Number Two, King Breasts Blue, today too I shall diligently pussy-shake to protect Hoyoung-nim's cock!"
His swimsuit-clad mom straddled the seated Kim Hoyoung, rocking her hips. Younger-looking than remembered. Lewd tattoos on her thighs (mostly praising Kim Hoyoung while debasing herself). Military-stiff salute. Zero interest in her son. All alien.
"M-Mom! What're you doing? Why the swimsuit? What's 'King Breasts Blue'?"
"Shut up! Don't insult the name Hoyoung-nim gave me!"
"Your name's Oh Jeongyeon..."
"Obviously, a nickname from Hoyoung-nim is way more glorious than one from worthless parents?"
King Breasts Blue (named for the blue swimsuit) growled bull-like, proud of the malicious label.
Kim Minjae spread his arms to his long-lost mom. "Let's go home, Mom... Our house..."
"Hah? Go home where? Your joke's as tiny as that pathetic dick!"
She dismissed him so coldly, even a stranger would've gotten warmer treatment.
"You! Refused to sign my papers? How long you gonna cling? Stop ruining my life—get lost! Or I'll kill you for real."
"Papers? That mother disownment? How could you sign that, Mom? I'm... your real son!"
"What? Real son?"
She scoffed like at a bad joke. Even Park Jisoo snickered behind. What was funny? Kim Minjae couldn't grasp it.
"No way you're my son. My real son is..."
King Breasts Blue lovingly rubbed her bulging belly.
"...just the baby Hoyoung-nim impregnated."
"What?!"
"Oh, I'm also Hoyoung-nim's spare mom, so he's my son too. Wanna hear? Sometimes he lets me be his second mom. Isn't it blissful? Way happier being one of his many moms than your one-and-only."
"...Disgusting."
"What? What's disgusting, you shrimp-dick! Only your face and cock!"
"Hey, King Breasts Blue. He's your former son—words too harsh?"
"Aww~♡ Is Hoyoung-nim an angel from heaven? So kind."
Opposite her coldness to Kim Minjae, she turned ultimate doting mom to Kim Hoyoung—kissing his nose tip with trembling lips, then snapping coldly at Kim Minjae.
"Listen up, Kim Minjae. My sons are Hoyoung-nim and the baby he knocked up in me. You're not my son—never were. No idea why you think I'm your mom, but call me ajumma from now on. Proper term."
"Then... who's my mom...?"
"How should I know? Ask yours. We're strangers."
Just like that, Kim Minjae became motherless.