Can I Fuck Your Mom? (3)
Today was a special day for Kim Minjae as well. It was the first time since returning to Korea that he could meet a friend without a care in the world. Until now, he'd been busy greeting relatives, hunting for rental properties to open his clinic, and bowing and scraping to the business contacts his mother had introduced him to—all strictly formal affairs. For Kim Minjae, who had been away from Korea for ten years studying abroad, someone he could talk to freely without watching his words was a rare treasure.
Oh Jeongyeon always taught him to befriend only those on his level, but honestly, Kim Minjae found guys like Kim Hoyoung—easy to look down on and push around—far more comfortable. In that sense, Kim Hoyoung was a precious friend. That's why he'd specially asked his mother to give them space and headed into the café. Luckily, Oh Jeongyeon took an interest in Isia, the successor to some trauma confectionery heir, so he'd paired them up and gone with his friend to the fast-food joint instead.
Normally, he'd pick a café to save face, but with a ball-busting buddy like this, such pretenses were pointless. Instant food tasted better than coffee anyway.
"Don't mind the bullshit my mom spouts. You know how she is—super overbearing."
Kim Minjae said, chomping into his burger. Back in school, they'd often grab fast food or hit up convenience stores just the two of them, shooting the breeze over snacks. They used to dream big and spout all sorts of nonsense back then.
"Didn't we have a farewell burger bash before I left for abroad?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"You were the only one who came to see me off at the airport."
"'Cause you had no other friends."
"Pot calling the kettle black."
The two lifelong pals, no need for posturing, burst into genuine laughter. Dumping each other's fries onto one tray and eating without distinction was a privilege reserved for true friends.
"Ahh~ Coming back to Korea after so long, everything's a blur. No one's returning my calls... Gotta open a clinic to make a living, but every damn thing costs money from square one. Driving me nuts."
"Oh... right. You became a doctor, huh? Congrats."
He offered congratulations to his friend, whose dream since elementary—no, kindergarten—had been set on doctor, but Kim Minjae's reaction was lukewarm.
"Eh, more my mom's dream than mine. But I went abroad to become one, so I got the license."
"Whoa... American med school ain't a joke, right?"
"Yeah. I suffered big time."
"But don't they pay doctors way more in the US? Why come back here instead of staying?"
"……"
A brief silence.
"...Missed home, I guess."
It felt like he was brushing it off.
"America's got subtle racism too."
Suddenly avoiding eye contact.
"Felt like Korea's better for settling down. Even racially speaking."
"Hmm... yeah?"
The vibe was suspicious, but he didn't pry. Personal space mattered, even for ball-busting friends.
"But Korea ain't easy either. Real estate prices—why the hell are they so high? Beating out New York? Shit... the costs for just opening a clinic... makes me wanna curse."
"Doctors make bank, though."
"Residents don't. You gotta open your own practice to rake it in. But no capital?"
"Hmm... doctors have it rough too, huh."
Kim Hoyoung said indifferently, dipping fries in ketchup, as if it were someone else's problem. Kim Minjae figured now was the time to ask what had been bugging him.
"What about you?"
"Huh?"
"What do you do for a living?"
"Me? Nothing really. Just lounging at home."
"But your address is in Paengchang-dong, right?"
"Yeah. Same as you."
Paengchang-dong was the ritziest spot in Paradise City. Where retired politicians and tycoons clustered, and nosy internet streamers got chased off by security—"their private enclave."
Kim Minjae knew full well Kim Hoyoung's family situation: no dad, mom scraping by. They'd bonded over shared single-parent woes.
"How the hell do you live here? Where'd the money come from?"
"Ah... that... well..."
"Dude, no secrets between us. Spill it for real."
"Umm... it's complicated."
As Kim Hoyoung hesitated, Kim Minjae openly sulked.
"Hey! The guy who burned all my pre-abroad porn stash—hentai, manga—onto USBs and lent 'em to you! Remember?"
"Okay, fine. You win. I'll tell you."
Those files had served well for years. No choice now. He'd gloss over the global hypnosis bit and spin a tale.
"The house I'm in now... used to belong to some mega-corp chairman. They divorced, wife inherited it. We're kinda close, so we're shacking up. Title's still hers."
"Close with a mega-corp chairman's wife?"
Impossible. Oh Jeongyeon obsessed over elite connections but never even glimpsed that level. How'd plain Kim Hoyoung link up?
And that wasn't all.
"What about Isia sunbae? Real Dolls cost tens of billions minimum. How'd you buy one?"
"Ah, that..."
"Explain."
"……"
No quick improv coming.
Kim Minjae crossed his arms, glaring.
"Wow, this punk's lying to his friend. I'm disappointed."
"Sigh..."
"You think I'm gonna ask to borrow cash? Nah, man. Borrow from banks, not bros."
"It's not necessarily about money..."
"Then what? Spit it out already."
Kim Hoyoung twirled the straw in his cola, trapped in a dilemma. Truthfully, no fear—hypnosis could shut anyone up and make 'em obey. But today was about hanging as friends, hypnosis aside. Especially not on a dude, and he didn't wanna bring it up. Better to fuck mom or sis at home if so.
"I'm telling you, say it! Why can't you? Don't tell me it's voice phishing or some crime scam?"
"Ugh... fine, man. I'll tell you."
Kim Hoyoung spun a plausible yarn.
"Truth is, I've been whoring around a bit."
"...What?"
"Like, scamming women for cash. Letting 'em pay for my body, or selling theirs and taking a cut."
Mostly low-tier trash like Na Byeongsik or Hwang Jinyoung that didn't catch his eye. Beauties? He kept 'em for himself.
"Wait... so you're pimping?"
"Kinda. Secret, though. Just between us."
"Holy shit... you? No way I buy it."
Kim Minjae recalled the old Kim Hoyoung: no girlfriend, not even girl friends. He didn't scream alpha stud swapping chicks either. Just your average... twenty-something guy. Unpretentious, if anything.
Yet making bank off pussy?
"Seriously don't believe it."
"What don't you believe? You're that age—you've gotta have some experience."
"O-of course!"
"...Huh?"
What was with this guy? Seemed flustered.
"W-what's that look? I'm a doctor now—girls line up for blind dates."
"Hmm..."
"I-it's true!"
"Sure, whatever."
"Not 'whatever,' asshole!"
Slamming the table in excitement only made it shadier. No way... but nearing thirty, couldn't be a total virgin loner. He'd buy it.
"Got it, man. Chill. Never had a girlfriend myself."
"You too?"
"'You too'?"
"I mean... then what was that pimping joke?"
"It wasn't a joke."
After some back-and-forth, Kim Minjae finally bought it. And yeah, he was a virgin loner too. Poor bastard. Even as a woman, hard to get hot for a skinny rack-of-ribs dude. Doctor or not.
"Truth is, mom's always meddling... interfering. Couldn't date."
"Your mom? What?"
"Even texting a girl: 'Distracts from studies.' 'Date after you're a doctor.' 'Success brings girls lining up.' Total buzzkill."
"Hmm... she still like that? You're an adult now."
"Tell me about it..."
"Tell her to back off."
"No use. 'After all I sacrificed raising you!' she yells, and I'm speechless."
Knowing her struggles as a single mom raising him proud, he couldn't coldly betray her now. Got it. If so, he could help.
A win-win idea dawned.
"What's that?"
"Point is, mom's overbearing meddling's the issue?"
"Yeah... so?"
"And you need cash for house loans and clinic rent?"
"Desperately."
"Got a fix for both."
"Quit teasing—spill."
Oh Jeongyeon's wide hips flashed in mind; drool pooled.
"Told you how I make money. Pimping women for a cut."
"Huh? And?"
"You've got a prime one."
"...What? No way..."
"I'll pay off your house loan, set you up with a prime clinic spot."
In exchange,
"Can I fuck your mom?"