The Main Heroine's Love-Hate
I quickly slung Sharin under my arm and bolted, carrying her to the nearest restroom.
"I should probably go grab some water."
It seemed she didn't even know her own limit. At this rate, she was going to suffer a brutal hangover tomorrow.
I headed downstairs to fetch some water. The moment I grabbed a bottle preserved in a cold-storage magic box, I spotted a familiar face.
"Oh."
She recognized me as well, letting out a soft gasp. Beneath her honey-blonde hair, her cheeks were flushed a delicate pink. A sweet, faint scent of alcohol wafted from her, tickling the tip of my nose.
Just as Sharin had mentioned, Isabel seemed to have had quite a bit to drink herself.
At least she looks more sober than Sharin.
At that moment, Isabel hastily covered her face with both hands.
"Ah, well... I only had a little bit because I was trying to match the mood, that's all."
Isabel looked thoroughly flustered. Her reaction stirred a strange sensation in me.
As I thought, this isn't romantic affection... I had a strong feeling it was a different kind of emotion altogether.
"Isabel." I tossed her the water bottle, and she caught it deftly.
"Let's talk for a moment."
"Uh, what?" Her eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting me to initiate a conversation.
"Before that," I said, pointing upward. "Let me put the drunkard back in her room first."
I needed to take care of Sharin first, who was currently retching like a dolphin in the restroom.
After safely tucking Sharin into her room, I walked out onto the lodging's terrace with Isabel.
The distinct chirping of summer insects echoed from all around. In the distance, the blue sea sparkled under the starlight.
Whoosh— The sound of the waves riding the wind put my mind at ease.
I took in the sight of the sea before turning my head. There stood Isabel, enjoying the summer breeze as if she had sobered up a bit.
Wearing a cardigan over her casual attire, Isabel looked as beautiful as a painting. True to her status as the main heroine, she possessed striking beauty.
But she wouldn't meet my eyes. To be precise, she was actively avoiding my gaze.
I stared at her quietly before speaking.
"Isabel."
"Ah, yes," Isabel replied a beat late.
I fell silent for a moment before asking, "Why are you walking on eggshells around me?"
Isabel's shoulders flinched. She wrapped her arms around herself—an unconscious, defensive gesture.
"...Who's walking on eggshells?"
"You've been doing it all day. On the beach, and even after drinking."
Isabel parted her lips. Her face turned as red as a beet, seemingly embarrassed that I had seen right through her.
I watched her for a moment, then leaned my back against the terrace railing. "Tell me. If there's a reason, I'll listen."
"..."
Normally, she would have just turned around and left. But perhaps because of the alcohol, Isabel didn't walk away. She opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, seemingly struggling to find the words.
I waited patiently. Finally, she managed to speak.
"...Because I didn't want to disappoint you."
Disappoint? Hearing that, I looked at Isabel with a puzzled expression.
Isabel turned her head away, her face even redder than before.
The night breeze blew again. Strands of gold hair fluttered like the Milky Way in the night sky. The distinct scent of the sea tickled my nose, mingled with Isabel's sweet fragrance and the scent of alcohol.
"...To be honest, it's embarrassing, but I thought of you as a rival."
She was thinking exactly what I had suspected.
"I hated you for insulting Lucas, but I still highly respected your mindset. Honestly, I also wanted to move forward like you."
Alcohol makes people honest. Especially once the reins on one's lips are loosened, they can't stop.
"But seeing myself having fun with everyone like this, I wondered if this was right."
Isabel gave a slightly bitter smile. It was a kind of obsession.
The reason Isabel hadn't given up on life and could move forward was because she had established a rivalry with me. In such a situation, playing around peacefully was something she couldn't bring herself to accept.
"That's a useless worry." And I dismissed it as useless.
Isabel looked at me, slightly offended.
"I'm playing around just like you right now."
Isabel blinked. While Isabel was resting, I was also resting at the same resort.
"Isn't that enough?"
"...B-But I'm lagging behind."
"I'm not someone who can be caught up to just because you train for one more day."
Honestly, I didn't think I was particularly ahead. It was just that Isabel thought so.
"Isabel, people need to rest when it's time to rest. I don't know exactly what your mindset is, but I think you should at least have the chance to look back and see if you're on the right path."
"..."
Isabel, who was quietly chewing on my words, suddenly let out a chuckle. When I frowned, she waved her hands apologetically.
"No, it's just... I think this is the first time you've treated me kindly."
"...I only did it because seeing you walk on eggshells was unsightly."
"Right, of course it is," Isabel said, looking back at the night sea.
"...Well, you're dating Hania anyway. I guess I can catch up to you in the meantime." Isabel gave a tipsy smile. Her face was etched with bitterness and loneliness.
"Sorry, but that won't happen." So I decided to shatter her smile a bit. "My relationship with Hania is fake."
"Huh?"
"There are just circumstances. Does it really look like Hania would date me?"
I thought it would be better to give Isabel a hint, even if I didn't tell the others. If she was targeting me, I had to be a target so high that she couldn't reach it. Only then could our rivalry continue.
"More than anything, I have no intention of dating anyone."
In the first place, I wasn't Hanon. Dating someone in this body would be impolite.
Isabel blinked her large eyes. After a brief silence, she wore a gentle smile for some reason.
"I see, so that's how it was."
It was a smile that somehow looked relieved.
My eyes slowly widened. Unconsciously, I opened and closed my mouth.
This...
It made sense why Sharin might mistake this for love. Isabel was in a psychologically unstable state. This was the result of losing Lucas, her pillar of support.
I had filled that empty space with anger and resentment. Isabel had endured half a semester by leaning on anger and resentment. And in the process, she had leaned on me—the target of that anger and resentment.
This proved my idea of becoming the moon to replace Lucas, the sun, was correct.
"Well, you..." But here, an unexpected result came from Isabel.
There is a word called love-hate. A psychological state of harboring both affection and hatred. It indicates that affection and hatred are closer than one might think, separated by a paper-thin margin.
One day, you might harbor hatred toward someone you once loved. Conversely, you might harbor affection toward someone you once hated.
"I feel like you won't leave me and will stay by my side until the end."
That's how complex emotions are.
"Ah, b-by staying by my side, I mean dealing with me, that kind of thing."
Isabel had to lean on me psychologically. Even if it was a terrible emotion like anger and resentment, she had to lean on me to survive. And in the process, I had taken root too deeply inside her.
A human's innate possessiveness and desire for exclusivity. Even the emotions that should have originally been directed toward Lucas had been replaced by me.
So this is what Sharin meant when she said Isabel overlaps me with Lucas.
Isabel wasn't healing yet. She was merely enduring by overlapping me with Lucas. If I were to leave her out of disappointment, she wouldn't be able to bear the sense of loss again. That was why she had been trying so desperately until now.
When she heard Hania and I were dating. The anxiety Sharin felt from Isabel wasn't jealousy. Whether as lovers or anything else, it was the anxiety that I might withdraw my attention from her in some way.
That day, when the kids asked about dating Hania, her furious reaction... Perhaps her psychology was unconsciously revealed then.
Isabel's eyes met mine again. Her eyes smiled brightly.
"I think I'm talking too much today. It's just because I'm a bit drunk, so you don't have to take it to heart."
Was that smile truly bright? I felt as if there was no light in her eyes. Even so, I couldn't see a way to resolve Isabel's issue right now. Is this direction really okay? Isabel's smile was bright enough to make me wonder.
When she eventually realizes I am not like Lucas, will she be able to endure it? I didn't know.
Whoosh— The sound of the night sea's waves echoed amidst those questions.
Perhaps because Isabel's smile from yesterday wouldn't leave my mind, I tossed and turned all night.
"Yaaawn." I let out a tired yawn and slowly sat up.
As I did, Iris's arm, which had been hugging me, slipped off. I tucked her in so she wouldn't get cold and quietly slipped out.
On the opposite bed, Hania was sleeping with a resentful expression. It seemed she was quite furious about having her spot next to Iris stolen. I wondered if I might get stabbed by Hania out of jealousy sometime soon.
Walking outside, the morning air felt refreshing. I lightly warmed up as part of my usual routine and began to run. Now, if I skipped running even for a day, I felt incredibly uncomfortable.
Running along the coast, I saw a few others running besides me. Well, the people here were Jerion Academy students. Training habits were deeply ingrained in everyone.
Refreshing. Morning runs always refreshed my mood. The stuffiness from my conversation with Isabel last night seemed to fade a little.
Pitter-patter. At that moment, footsteps began to echo beside me. Someone jogging in the morning was catching up to me. They're running hard.
I widened the distance to the side to give them room. However, the person didn't pass me but ran right alongside me. Realizing this, I turned my head in confusion.
There, I saw a boy with short black hair. Seeing his face, my eyes slowly widened.
"Hello, this is our first time meeting in person, right?" He smiled brightly as he faced me.
Oh, shit.
I thought the 1st Prince would send someone. But I never expected this guy to show up.
The identity of the person running beside me. He was Hanon Airey. Not me, but the real Hanon Airey.