Do Not Spare Yourself

On the summer sea.

Hania and I.

And Isabel, Mina, and Sharin's group stood facing us.

For some reason, Isabel was staring at me with vacant eyes.

Sharin gazed at me, her eyes narrowed slightly more than usual.

"Oh, hello, everyone."

Hania smiled as if she had only just noticed them.

At the same time, she pulled my hand closer, gripping it tighter.

Don't do this.

I feel like something else is going to touch me.

At that, Mina let out a gasp. "My, my."

"Hania, when on earth did you two become like that?"

Even so, she didn't badmouth the boyfriend right in front of the girlfriend.

Mina spoke in a warm, friendly tone.

My eyes met Hania's.

"Ah, it was during the Demon Palace raid, right?"

"Yes, that's when I confessed."

With every word I spoke, Isabel's eyes shook violently.

At this point, even I began to find it strange.

"Hanooon."

Just then, Sharin called out to me.

She was staring intently at me.

"Sharin, why did you call me?"

"Don't you knooow?"

What don't I know?

Yet, Sharin simply continued to gaze at me silently.

"Ah, ha, ha..."

Mina also seemed to sense the bizarre atmosphere and laughed awkwardly.

Then, Hania, who was holding my hand, subtly nudged me to leave.

For some reason, I also found it hard to stay in this unsettling atmosphere any longer.

"Well, we'll be going then."

"Have fun, everyone!"

Hania and I quickly left the spot.

Once the gaze of the three girls faded into the distance,

Hania naturally let go of my hand.

"I left you in charge of all our luggage, so what were you doing playing around like that?"

"I just saw some familiar faces and had a brief chat."

"To me, it looked like the corners of your mouth were twitching upward. Should I have just left you to enjoy being surrounded by girls?"

I don't think I smiled at all, though.

As I lightly touched my lips, Hania glared at me with an displeased expression.

"Are you jealous, by any chance?"

"Cut the bullshit."

How fierce.

"It's just annoying because if you look all dopey around other women, I have to act jealous."

"You don't really have to go that far with the acting, do you?"

"If I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right. I'm going to use this opportunity to shake off all those annoying guys."

To achieve that, she intended to play the role of a girl deeply in love.

What terrifying determination.

With Hania's sheer willpower, I feel like she could accomplish anything.

"More importantly, Hanon, about those two earlier—"

Just as Hania was about to speak, Iris waved from afar.

"Hania, Hanon."

Sitting under a parasol, Iris gestured for us to come over.

"Yes, Lady Iris!"

Instantly discarding the cold expression she had just shown me, Hania beamed brightly and ran toward Iris.

"Since we're here to play, let's go into the sea."

"Yes, of course!"

I quietly set down our luggage.

I followed closely behind the two, my mind still troubled by Isabel's expression from earlier—she had looked exactly like an abandoned puppy.

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

On the surface of the sea.

I floated lazily on an inner tube.

In the distance, I could see Iris and Hania splashing water and playing.

They had been close friends since childhood.

So they had plenty of fun even without me joining in.

Thanks to that, I was able to enjoy a rare moment of peace.

I wonder what the others are doing during this break.

First of all, Seron said she was going back to her family's estate.

I hope she never comes back.

Card had also decided to visit his family home.

His family home must be quite far.

Knowing the circumstances of Card's family, I knew he was in for a rough time.

I hope this guy drops dead too.

Why does thinking about those two only bring me irritation?

I silently prayed that something disastrous would happen to both of them at their family homes.

Just then,

I felt something tickling my foot.

Another foot was touching mine.

Wondering what it was, I looked down and saw a pale face.

"Hanon, hellooo."

Sharin was floating in the water, lazily raising a hand.

When did she get here?

"Let's taaalk."

With that, Sharin disappeared back under the water.

"Uh—"

In that instant, Sharin's hand shot out from beneath the inner tube.

Before I could even register my surprise, her hand yanked me down.

Splash!

Falling off the tube without a chance to react, I thrashed around in the water.

Just as I tried to scramble back to the surface, I realized my hand was blocked by some kind of barrier.

At the same time, I realized I could breathe.

I was inside an air barrier.

This underwater air barrier was a spell cast by Sharin.

Her hair, shimmering beautifully as it caught the light filtering through the water, was a sight to behold.

"Sharin?"

"We need to taaalk."

A talk, all of a sudden?

If she had gone to such lengths to find me, it had to be something important.

"What is it? If you're going to ask me to buy you bread, I'm out."

"Do you think I'm some kind of bread mooonster?"

Weren't you?

"Let me ask you one thing first. Are you really dating Haniaaa?"

Is that a prerequisite I need to clear first?

I had shared many secrets with Sharin up until now.

Since she was helping me, it felt wrong to hide this from her.

"No, we're not. Hania ran into some trouble, so I'm just helping her out."

When I revealed the truth of our arrangement, Sharin's eyes softened slightly.

It was a reaction she herself didn't seem to notice.

"Then, onto the main topic. It's about Beeel."

My expression instantly shifted.

Sharin was Isabel's closest friend.

Naturally, she would be the most sensitive to any changes in her.

Though she had gotten much better recently,

Isabel had a history of trying to take her own life after losing Lucas.

Since she hadn't fully escaped the trauma of Lucas's death,

her mind could slip back into that dark place at any moment.

"Tell me."

As I showed I was listening, Sharin glanced up toward the surface.

She seemed to be looking at Isabel, who was over there.

"Lately, Isabel has been acting a bit straaange."

"Strange how?"

"She's vacant, I guess. She can't focus very weell."

"And that's not just you?"

The air bubble shrank slightly.

If I tease her any more, I'm going to drown.

"Since when?"

When I changed the subject, Sharin wrapped her arms around herself, still holding her staff.

"Well, ummm..."

Sharin hesitated for a moment.

For some reason, she was really dragging it out.

"What is it?"

When I pressed her out of frustration, Sharin peeked at me.

"I think it started after you and Hania began daaating."

I blinked.

And my head tilted to the side.

Why?

Why would Isabel become vacant just because Hania and I started dating?

I couldn't think of a single reason.

"...I did a bit of guessing myself, yeees?"

This time, Sharin offered her own conclusion.

She was highly intelligent.

If anyone knew the answer, it would be her.

"Could it be that Bel likes youuu?"

I thought I heard a dog barking.

I stared blankly at Sharin.

But Sharin's eyes were completely serious.

"...Does that even make sense?"

"But that's exactly how a girl reacts when the guy she likes gets a girlfrieeend."

"Think about it logically. Do ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you know how many times I've said harsh things to Isabel? To like a guy like that, is she some kind of extreme masochist?"

"But you didn't mean any of it, did youuu?"

I was temporarily left speechless.

Why are the people around me always so quick-witted?

It's a real problem when everyone around you is too smart for their own good.

"Bel isn't stupid, either. She probably has a vague sense of why you're doing all thiiis."

Did I not needle her enough?

As I stood there feeling discouraged, Sharin offered another piece of the puzzle.

"Still, there has to be some kind of trigger. And above all..."

From what I could see, Isabel's expression was far from love.

It was... how should I put it?

It was a complex tangle of emotions that couldn't be easily defined.

"So let's use this chance to find out for suuure."

"Find out how?"

Is there some kind of magic that lets you peer into a person's heart?

"Just ask her directlyyy."

I blinked.

I pointed a finger at Sharin, but she shook her head.

When I pointed at myself, Sharin nodded.

"...If it's about love, wouldn't it be better for you to ask?"

"Do you think Bel would talk about love with meee?"

Probably not.

If it were Sharin, she'd probably zone out and accidentally leak the secret somewhere.

"And if she hasn't realized it herself yet, it's better for you to ask. That way, we can watch her reaction and see for ourselves."

I let out a long sigh.

No matter how much I thought about it, there was absolutely no way that was the case.

But it wasn't like I had a better alternative.

If Isabel was showing signs of trouble, I had to investigate.

There aren't many episodes left until Isabel's awakening.

Until then, I had to look after Isabel's mental state as much as possible.

"Fine."

Surely, there would be at least one opportunity to ask her about her strange behavior.

"So, how are you going to ask her?"

"I'll set up the perfect place."

Sharin's eyes gleamed suspiciously.

"A ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠late-night event where any secret will spill right out."

A sudden sense of dread began to creep over me.

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

Summer nights make people sentimental.

The sound of ocean waves echoing from afar.

The chirping of insects rising from the bushes.

A bead of sweat lightly trickling down beneath one's collar.

Summer truly possesses a power that stirs the human heart.

On such an enchanting summer night,

I was currently sharing a room with two of the school's most renowned beauties.

Iris, who had played to her heart's content during the day, lay lazily on the bed.

Because of the summer heat, her light clothing repeatedly offered glimpses of her bare skin.

Beside her, Hania was diligently fanning Iris to keep her cool.

Even though a cooling spell was active in the room, her devotion was absolute.

"Lady Iris, even so, I am technically a man. Wouldn't it have been better to get me a separate room?"

When I spoke to Iris, who was lying down in such revealing attire, she glanced at me.

"I sleep better when Hanon is nearby."

"Hanon, just do as Lady Iris says."

Don't tell me she plans to hug me to sleep tonight too.

I wish she'd consider the perspective of the person who has to fall asleep while being squeezed.

The scent of roses wafting from Iris was already starting to make my head spin.

I need to resolve this issue as soon as possible.

At this rate, she's going to come looking for me even back at the dorms, complaining she can't sleep.

However, this situation allowed me to realize one crucial fact.

I can now be certain of which emotion the Bandage of the Veil has stripped away.

Iris was one of the most beautiful women in the Empire.

Yet, even though she had hugged me multiple times,

my heart remained completely still.

Just as a man hugging me might feel unpleasant but wouldn't stir any other thoughts,

a woman hugging me might feel nice, but it didn't provoke any deeper feelings.

To be precise, my sexual desires had been entirely erased.

As expected, the emotion I lost to the Bandage of the Veil was love, just like Lucas.

Perhaps the reason Iris felt so comfortable hugging me to sleep

was because I didn't harbor even a shred of sexual desire toward her.

Iris possessed incredibly sharp senses.

If I had felt even a hint of such desire, she would have noticed instantly.

Is it because it feels like I never knew the emotion to begin with?

I didn't feel any sense of loss over losing a core emotion.

Rather, it helped me view any situation with absolute objectivity.

So, in other words...

It was basically no different from being in a permanent sage mode.

Wait, no. Is this actually more dangerous than I thought?

Although I felt fine right now,

the erosion of my emotions was bound to have consequences somewhere.

Perhaps even this indifference is an effect of the Bandage of the Veil.

Feeling that the fading of my emotions is natural and trivial.

Thinking about it that way, it was definitely dangerous.

Love...

is not limited to other people.

Love encompasses everything from animals to my favorite activities and hobbies.

And going even further...

Myself.

I looked down at my hands.

Recently, as my capacity for love eroded, I found myself disregarding my own safety with increasing frequency.

Of course, I had to use whatever means necessary because the situations were life-threatening,

but there was undoubtedly an underlying tendency to treat my own body as disposable.

...Now that I was aware of it, it might be far more dangerous than I had realized.

When my capacity for love is completely worn away, leaving me unable to even love myself...

What kind of choice will I make then?

"Hanon?"

Iris leaned her head toward me and called my name.

Seeing me lost in deep thought, she looked puzzled.

"Are you alright? Are you tired?"

"I'm fine."

"How could he be tired when Lady Iris is hugging him so warmly? If anything, he should be bursting with energy."

Hania grumbled, her eyes filled with jealousy.

When it came to Iris, she never hid her jealousy.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

In any case, thanks to this, even if I was in the same room as Iris and Hania,

nothing scandalous was going to happen.

More importantly, right now...

I was worried about the "late-night event" Sharin had mentioned.

Since she was such an unpredictable girl,

I had no idea what she was planning, which made me anxious.

Looking outside, the sky had turned pitch black.

The summer night breeze rattled against the window.

Knock, knock.

Just then, there was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a knock on the door.

"I'll get it."

Instead of Hania, who was about to set down her fan, I stood up.

Sure enough, when I opened the door, Sharin was standing there.

The problem was, an unexpected scent was wafting from her.

I instinctively pinched my nose.

"Sharin, you..."

It was the smell of alcohol.

I closed the door behind me and stepped out into the hallway.

"You said a late-night event. Is this what you meant?"

"If you driiink, everything comes out."

Unlike in reality, in the Flame Butterfly Chapter, anyone over fifteen could drink without issue.

As such, it wasn't strange for Sharin to be drinking.

"I don't think Isabel is the type to drink, though."

"Mina coaxed her."

For some reason, it feels like Mina is always the one leading her astray.

"And Bel has been feeling cornered lately, toooo."

Since she finally had a break, she seemed to have turned to the bottle for comfort.

"Still, she seemed to be doing pretty well lately."

"Yeah, thanks to youuu, Hanon."

My efforts to needle her paid off.

"Bel still hasn't escaped Lucas's shadooow."

Sharin's eyes grew heavy.

Lucas had been a friend to Sharin as well.

Although they hadn't been as close as he and Isabel,

his death had still been a shock to her.

"Bel admired Lucas. He was the kind of person who looked like he could do absolutely anytheeeng."

When the person you admired returned as a cold corpse,

the shock would be indescribable.

"Bel is probably overlapping Lucas onto youuu."

"I don't think I have anything in common with Lucas."

"The feeling that you can do anytheeeng."

The corners of Sharin's mouth curled upward.

"You're alike in that aspect, aren't youuu?"

That smile was her remembering all the crazy stunts I had pulled so far.

"I've never seen anyone pull off such unpredictable things as you dooo."

That's only because I'm desperate enough to use any means necessary.

"So it's not strange for Isabel to see Lucas in youuu."

Sharin was unusually talkative today.

Soon, I noticed that Sharin's ears were flushed red.

This girl...

She's drunk.

I wondered why she was being so chatty.

Her face had looked normal, so I hadn't realized.

Then again, to get Isabel to drink...

Sharin probably had to drink alongside her.

Seeing this, I can really tell how much Sharin cherishes Isabel.

More than anyone, Sharin wanted Isabel to stop hurting and live a life true to herself.

That was why she had asked me, a complete stranger at the time, to draw out Isabel's anger,

and why she was drinking with her tonight to coax out her true feelings.

"Sharin."

Sharin's hazy gaze drifted to me.

"Isabel is blessed just to have a friend like you."

Sharin hadn't been able to be a pillar of support for Isabel after she lost Lucas.

Perhaps she felt a lingering sense of guilt about that.

Hearing my words, Sharin let out a soft chuckle.

The clearest, brightest smile I had ever ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠seen on her face.

"Hanon, I..."

Sharin covered her mouth.

"I think I'm gonna throw uuuup."

So that smile was just her final struggle before throwing up.