How to Train an Exhibitionist Gyaru Elf *Body Painting Edition*
And then, a little while later, I ended up tanned like Golden Sun with white wave patterns forcibly etched all over my body. Why? Because of that idiot.
『Teach. If you’ve joined our club, you gotta go through the initiation, right~?』
『Hehe. Just stay still. It doesn’t hurt~!』
She dragged me straight to the clubroom without even listening to a word I had to say, shoved me into some weird contraption, and in the blink of an eye roasted my skin and scribbled patterns all over me until I looked just like her. She claimed it was some kind of magic device and that the effects would wear off after a while, but even taking that into account, standing around shirtless in a club that only accepted girls felt anything but normal.
What the hell am I even doing here?
On top of that, every single beastman and long-lived race around me was wearing nothing but leaf bikinis. There wasn’t a safe place to rest my eyes. Or worse—Princess Nia was completely naked except for body paint…
…I’m losing my mind.
"Green forest, Mother of the Earth, thank you again today~♪"
"Fruits ripen red, spring water shines clear, everyone gives thanks~♪"
"Green forest, Mother of the Earth, thank you again today~♪"
"Petals scatter, starlight quietly, illuminate our path~♪"
"Green forest, Mother of the Earth, thank you again today~♪"
"Leaves dance, gentle rain moistens, brightens the world~♪"
"Green forest, Mother of the Earth, today we──"
Women who looked almost exactly like humans—elves, beastmen, and the like—were running around the forest, laughing without a shred of shame. They circled a small spring, clapping their hands, dancing with no particular rhythm. It all looked incredibly pure… if you ignored what they were wearing. Which made it impossible not to have dirty thoughts.
Good thing the outside can’t see in.
The wooden fence surrounded by thick trees meant that even if those perverts from earlier tried to peep, they’d be lucky to catch a single frame. That’s probably why everyone was so relaxed. Still, even considering that, the structure here was… well, they’d punched holes in the roof to let sunlight in, but that just felt like asking for trouble.
"Ahh. You must be having a rough time too."
"Ah, y-yes, yeees~!"
I greeted the female teacher who had been watching the same scene. Surprisingly, she was a normal human like me—tanned skin, wearing a leaf bikini just like the rest. But the moment I spoke to her, her eyes rolled back and she let out a girlish shriek, clearly embarrassed.
"Are you also…?"
"Yeees! They said it was part of the activity so… I had no choice, they forced me to wear thiiis…!"
So this was the club’s faculty advisor. She looked like she was about to cry, probably forced into this just like me. I could tell she had a lot to say, so I gave her a moment to catch her breath. She immediately latched onto me.
"Y-you’re Professor Ludo, right? The one in charge of Lady Kiara! I’ve heard so much about youuu!"
"Kiara?"
"No, I mean Lady Nia! Whatever it iiiis~!"
Her tongue was completely twisted. She grabbed onto my pant leg, sniffling like she was about to burst into tears, and begged.
"The department head dumped her on me just yesterday!? But she won’t listen to a word I say! I know body painting is a Lumiante Forest tradition, so we do it here too! But that doesn’t mean walking around completely naked! We’re supposed to at least wear leaf coverings as part of club activities and nature therapy!?"
So leaves are still allowed, huh.
"But Lady Nia doesn’t even pretend to listen to me and just strips everything off! Full nudity is banned in our club! We already have weirdos lurking outside, so the bare minimum clothing is there to prevent incidents! And she throws a tantrum saying she hates even thaaat!!"
I glanced over at the small spring again.
"Kyahaha! This is it, this is the stuff! Outside culture is nice, but sometimes it’s just too stuffy!"
"Yeah yeah, this is how it should be for us Lumiante natives~!"
"The academy is full of people everywhere, so there’s nowhere else we can embrace nature with our whole bodies… it’s so frustrating…."
"They should be more considerate toward elves and forest-born beastmen like us!"
"Aah, burying myself in the dirt like this finally makes me feel alive~♪"
Countless women were sprawled across bushes and dirt patches, basking in sunlight with blissful expressions. They’d been dancing and singing just moments ago, and now it was straight into nap time. It didn’t look like any normal club activity, but they were genuinely enjoying themselves.
"The advisor says that, but the other students seem to be having a great time?"
"It’s because that’s Lumiante Forest culture! People who live in that forest apparently need to strip down and commune with nature on a regular basis to relieve stress. But this is civilized society, so they can’t just do that! The other beastmen at least understood! But the moment Lady Nia showed up, everything went completely off the rails!?"
"So they’re using the princess as a shield to indulge in their repressed cultural desires?"
"Yes yes yes! Exactly that! And I don’t have the authority or the guts to do anything about Lady Nia! I don’t know the full story, but isn’t that body supposed to belong to Lady Kiara!? The former queen of Lumiante Forest!"
Which meant she couldn’t lay a hand on her and was forced to watch the princess dance around completely naked in nothing but body paint.
"Haa, this feels so good. I wish Mama could come roll around with me too~☆"
Look at her. Rolling around in the dirt wearing nothing but body paint(?)—she was pure wild animal. The fact that the body she was using belonged to a queen somehow made it even worse. It was poking every single abnormal fetish I had.
"C-couldn’t you do something about her? As her advisor, if she would just listen and keep things within bounds, I wouldn’t ask you to make her quit…."
"Yes, I understand. That’s exactly why I came here, so please don’t worry too much."
"Really? Can I trust you!?"
"Of course. I’ll try to calm her down today. If anything similar happens again, just contact me."
"Aah, Professor Ludo!"
The club advisor’s eyes sparkled as she expressed her sincere gratitude. Yeah, I could understand how she felt. Even I felt incredibly awkward when I first dealt with Elena and Selena. And if she was just the club advisor with limited authority, dealing with a princess must have been terrifying.
But not anymore. I’m the crazy bastard who called a princess a fucking bitch right to her face and referred to a royal princess as a breeding sow.
My job was to scold and subdue the princesses whenever they went out of control or caused problems. This request fit perfectly.
"Nia. Come here!"
"…Hweh?"
When I called her name, the former queen (in body only) glanced over from where she’d been rolling in the dirt. She must have finally realized she’d invited me here and then completely ignored me. She stretched her explosive figure under the sunlight, proudly showing off the white wave patterns on her body, then sauntered over.
Her already voluptuous brown skin glistened, slick with dirt and sweat. Every time she got closer, bits of paint dripped off her. I barely managed to hide the smirk tugging at my lips behind a stern expression.
"Uwaa, sorry~! I was dancing and playing with the girls and totally forgot to show you around, Teach~!?"
Her bright laughter held not a single hint of malice. And yet that one sentence filled me with pure dread.
"What, you want me to join in and dance with them too?"
"Yeah! It’s normally just for the women of Lumiante Forest, but sometimes we let guys join in! Usually when a group of girls gets interested in a boy, they use it as a way to seduce him, y’know~!?"
"Oh really? That’s nice and all, but I don’t think I should be jumping in there…."
"Aww, it’s fine! It’s not like we’re inviting you with weird intentions! Everyone’s just curious what Lady Nia’s homeroom teacher is like, so we thought we’d invite you to dance, sing, and get to know each other~!"
Come to think of it, she was casually calling me “Teach” and acting all familiar. I did want to get close to my students, but not right now. If I played along and acted friendly here, I’d definitely get swept up in her pace.
"Nia. Having fun is fine, but how about we talk with your teacher first?"
I tried to sound as stern as possible, but—
"Talk about what? Oh, right! Now that you mention it, I’ve been super hungry this whole time! You wouldn’t let me go outside earlier, so I forgot to buy snacks! Perfect timing! I’ll buy some for you too, Teach! What do you like? If you don’t know any good places around here, should I just get what I recommend~!?"
See? The conversation immediately veered off track again. The way she sucked all the momentum out of everything the moment she opened her mouth made me feel like I’d get dragged along if I wasn’t careful. I shook my head to regain my composure.
"Nia."
"There’s a new snack called churros nearby! I saw some classmates eating it yesterday and I really want to try it!"
"Nia."
"Wait, never mind. Since you’re a guy, maybe meat would be better? Mhm, don’t worry! Nia is a modern elf, so I don’t discriminate against eating meat or anything! That weird custom of only eating plants disappeared hundreds of years ago! Unless they’re really old elves, no one really complains about it anymore~?"
"Nia."
"Speaking of meat, be careful of the barbecue place right in front! I heard the old man there is super perverted! My friends told me he’s always lurking around here! Ew, it’s so gross~!"
"Nia."
"Now that I think about it, I kinda want to lose my meat virginity soon too! All my elf friends have already started eating meat! Ahaha, since it’s been a while, can I get a recommendation from you, Teach? What kind of meat is good? My teeth are weak since I’m an elf, so I like it tender! But first we need to pick a date! When are you free, Teach? Can we go on a day off?"
"Nia."
"Silvy said she was worried because you got suspended? Even though it was only a short time, you prepared orientation together and everything. She was super anxious thinking you might get fired overnight! She always says bad things, but deep down she’s really kind, right~?"
"Nia."
"And Professor Nora is amaaazing! She works as department head and still advises clubs! Where was it again… some blood donation place? I heard she squeezes in time to work there too! Let’s go help her together later! Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?"
"Nia."
"About Mama, she seems like she couldn’t come outside again today. I told her we should wear school uniforms and go out together but she said absolutely not. She kept saying she wouldn’t go out unless it was a leaf dress. Ahaha, isn’t that funny~! No matter how short my uniform is, there’s no way it’s shorter than Mama’s leaf dress~!"
"Nia."
"What else was there? Oh right! There are some kids you haven’t met yet, Teach, and it looks like some people joined the club behind Professor Nora’s back and──"
Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.
I called out “Nia” exactly thirty-seven times while trying to be patient. I really tried hard to be a good teacher. I tried so, so hard. At first I was genuinely curious how long she could keep talking, but eventually her endless stream of topics drained my patience first.
"Mm. Yes, yes. Keep chattering away~."
"──So anyway, hehe?"
She stopped mid-sentence like magic and focused entirely on me. It wasn’t because she’d heard me calling her. It was because I was gripping a thick iron fan with all my strength. Her eyes had no choice but to go there.
"Teach?"
"Your teacher is about to get to work now."
…….
…….
"…What kind of work?"
There was no need to answer. Instead, I lightly tapped the iron fan—practically a metal slab—against her large, brown ass.
"T-Teach?"
Her eyes asked, Why are you pressing that against my butt? Of course, I didn’t answer this time either. Because I was about to show her with actions instead.