It's Perfectly Natural for the Academy to Be Terrorized

Meanwhile, on the fourth floor where the flames had finally begun to lick at the walls. The staircase leading to the roof rang with the constant clash of steel. A blue barrier sealed the entrance, preventing anyone from breaking through. In the midst of all this, a beauty wearing a black hijab scurried along on quick steps, a small fairy guarding her back.

"To think they would target my life in broad daylight—and in the academy of all places. I already knew my incompetent older brothers were fools, but this level of stupidity has gone so far beyond common sense that I can barely comprehend it. Do those idiots not think about what comes after?"

"This isn't the time to be trash-talking other people! We're literally on fire and assassins are trying to kill us!"

"Tom. Just hold on a little longer. It sounds like the rescue team has already reached the floor below us. If we can endure ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠just a bit more, we'll break through the barrier and survive. You mustn't lose hope."

"I-I want to, but—!"

The red-haired fairy shook her shield, her disproportionately massive breasts jiggling with the motion. A flying blade whistled in from nowhere and bounced off with a sharp clang.

"Tch!"

"Lady Aisha!"

"Don't worry. Thanks to you, it didn't even graze me."

The beauty in the full-body hijab ducked behind the much smaller red fairy. In contrast, the fairy—her apron straining to contain her emphasized chest—brandished her hammer and turtle shield, squaring off against the enemies emerging from the flames.

"How persistent. Aisha Nasriya. If you'd just stay still, I'd send you on your way without pain. Why struggle so?"

"Struggling only lengthens the time you spend suffering."

"You people are the persistent ones! You leeches who tricked and latched onto my idiot brothers—unlike those empty-headed fools who'll believe any nonsense, I'm not some pushover who'll politely say 'Oh, yes, of course' and die just because you ask nicely!"

At those words, assassins materialized from every corner of the flames. They wore the same jet-black material Aisha favored, their faces hidden behind white masks.

"What an insolent little wench."

"If only you'd been born to the Nasriya family and lived a quiet woman's life."

"If you'd simply worked in silence at your husband's feet, a peerless talent like yours would never have been wasted in a place like this."

Just from their voices, it was obvious they were old men. Aisha snorted in clear disgust.

"Spare me your nonsense. After I left the main house and graciously came all the way to the academy, are my foolish brothers still floundering, unable to erase the influence their little sister left behind? Or are they now claiming they need a wife so they can covet their own sister's body? Either option is equally repulsive."

"It's hardly strange. Mixing blood to elevate the family's status is something every house does—the Belamour royal family most of all."

"Elevate? More like fattening up those idiots' bellies. But they don't have the guts to spread their legs for the trash who sends assassins because they're terrified of their sister's talent, do they?"

Blades flew once more. Naturally, the red-haired fairy standing in front of Aisha blocked every one.

"Lady Aisha, please stop provoking them!"

"But Tom! How can I stay quiet? They told me to get out of the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠house, so I did—and now they're chasing me down. What exactly do they want from me?"

"I understand how you feel, but… hyaak!?"

Even as they spoke, more blades came flying, some aimed at Aisha, others trying to take out Tom first to collapse the defense. Yet she blocked them all. Tom's defense was exceptional, and Aisha never gave the enemy her back, always hiding properly behind her. You could call it quick footwork; less kindly, you could say she was accustomed to being assassinated.

"What a nuisance. Just roughly calculating how many goods will be lost in this terror attack makes the number astronomical! I will absolutely capture every last one of you and make you pay even if it takes the rest of my life, so steel yourselves!"

"You're saying that in this situation!?"

"Of course I am! You know exactly how much effort I put into acquiring those goods, Tom!"

"I-I know that, but right now our lives come first! If we die we can't recover the principal at all~!?"

"On the contrary. Even if I die and my body is crushed to bits, the money will remain in this world. Now then, Tom! Catch even one of them and I'll give you a special bonus. Squeeze out every drop of strength you have!"

"Uwaaa, you really are crazy for money! Telling me to capture enemies while we're being assassinated—what kind of unreasonable employer are you!?"

"If you catch them, I'll write off half your debt! —How about that!?"

"Gyaaak~!"

At those words the red-haired fairy sprang into action. Behind the turtle shield that had been deflecting blades, she yanked a suspiciously placed switch. Holes opened across the shield's surface. The whole thing began to vibrate with ominous intent.

"Careful. That blacksmith bitch is planning something!"

"Planning what? No matter how strong she is, she's still just a fairy. Why be afraid?"

"Ugh, you moron!?"

"The big-titted bitch you're aiming for isn't a normal fairy—she's a dwarf!!"

The assassins tried to fall back, but one hot-tempered fool charged instead. Tom waited for exactly that moment and released the switch.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry… Please die for the sake of my debt!!"

"I told you not to kill them!"

Aisha and Tom's pleas crossed at the same time. Paradoxically, the shield belched fire.

"Gah!?"

All manner of needles sprayed out like rain without warning, swallowing the charging assassin's entire body in an instant like a sudden fox shower. No— even a downpour doesn't completely hide a human body, so comparing the coming scene to rain felt somewhat insufficient.

"Oooooooh!!!!"

The silver storm that swept across his body in a single moment instantly turned into a bright red fountain. The sight was brutally cruel.

"That idiot! I told him to be careful!"

"How the hell does that thing have a device like that!?"

Not expecting needles to shoot from the shield, they were too slow to dodge. They crossed their arms to protect their faces, but shielding only their faces wasn't nearly enough to survive that firepower. A human being isn't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tough enough to keep living after having their heart and all four limbs torn apart.

"K-ugh… agh… glurk…!?"

The screams cut off quickly. The charging assassin became a human porcupine in the blink of an eye, his entire body riddled with holes until he was no longer a person but an object. Just how much gunpowder had been packed inside? The holes went clean through his flesh, letting you see the scenery on the other side.

"Tom. You really are an uncontrollable little fairy. At this rate we can't even recognize what his face used to look like."

"I'm sorry. I didn't consider non-lethal options from the start…."

Even Aisha, who had been screaming about money, was rendered speechless by the gruesome sight. That was only natural. No matter that they were assassins, seeing a person turned into a sieve from head to toe was enough to make anyone retch.

"You devilish bitch! We even gave you a chance to live because you're a daughter of the Nasriya family!"

"As expected, you're the disaster of the Nasriya family—a witch who brings only misfortune!"

"We'll burn your corpse and offer it as a gift to honor our fallen comrades! —Take this!"

The assassins who had been calmly tightening their encirclement finally lost their composure at the sight. Their attitude was anything but professional. Cold sweat broke out as they gathered fire at their fingertips, preparing to finish the pair with maximum power.

"Wait, I wasn't the one who killed him—Tom was…."

"But you gave the order, Lady Aisha! Lady Aisha! Lady Aisha~!?"

"This is no time to be shifting blame onto your employer! Instead of arguing, find a way to resolve this situation! At this rate we'll both end up as charcoal!"

"I only brought the shield and hammer!"

They didn't wait for the bickering to end. Light flickered. Only after their bodies had rolled across the floor did they realize that light had been the radiance of a supernova.

"Kyak!?"

"Aaaagh!"

The three assassins' flame projectiles roared like the explosion on the third floor, blasting the pair away. Fortunately the first blast was barely blocked by the shield, but the following shockwave sent Aisha tumbling and stripped Tom of her shell.

"That was the maximum output from a talisman I bought with my entire fortune, yet they blocked it with nothing but a shield!"

"Are the Kagurayama talismans cheap, or is this the bloodline of the Bronze Finch family?"

"If not for that witch, she could have made a name for herself as a master artisan. How truly regrettable!"

They didn't wait for the protagonists to revive like third-rate villains. The academy's defenders were already swarming the lower floors. They might get captured at this rate. They pulled out yet another talisman bought with their entire fortune and prepared fresh flames. Their plan was to burn the pair's corpses with the next explosion, blast a hole in the wall, and escape.

'Damn it, I overestimated those fools. To think they'd kill their own sister just to protect their position in the family and even be willing to oppose the academy itself. I assumed even they wouldn't go that far, so I let my guard down. If there's a next life, I swear I won't overestimate idiots like that again.'

Never, never, never. The repeated words were, she realized too late, nothing but lingering attachment to life.

"If nothing else… the thought of those bastards using my assets after I'm dead makes my stomach twist…!"

"That's exactly why I keep saying your life is the most expensive thing you own!"

"Keh."

She flicked her tongue at the advice from Tom—her classmate and subordinate. The words were true. Without life, you couldn't earn money or spend it.

"Who knows? Maybe you can still use worldly money in the afterlife. That's probably why the concept of 'travel expenses for the dead' even exists."

"Uwaa, you cheapskate! Don't try to logic your way out of this situation!"

Their vision was dyed pure white. Soon gray ash would bloom throughout the entire building. And it would surely be ash made from their two corpses.

"What are you going to do now!?"

"Kk. If someone saves my life right now, I'll reward them handsomely! Come on, name your price!?"

"You're talking about money even now!?"

"Obviously! No matter what you say, money takes priority over everything!!"

"There's no one here in the first place!"

"Come on, is there another money-lover like me in the whole world? If a god of finance exists, he'd definitely want to play with me right here! Come forth, oh god! How about striking a deal with me? Don't you want to know the exact price of my life!?"

Hearing those words, the assassins paused their attack and began to chuckle. It was absurd nonsense no matter who heard it. Money was useless once you were dead.

"Foolish bitch. Keep playing with money until the very end."

The flames condensed. The charge was already complete, but that little farce had bought them a few seconds. The assassins were curious exactly how much the insolent money-obsessed woman would bet on her own life.

"One million gold!"

"That's way too cheap!"

"Then ten million!"

"You don't even know how much your entire fortune is, yet you're still being stingy!?"

"Kk, can't be helped… How about a hundred million!"

"This person is for real. Since it's the last one, at least go all in!!"

"Uuu… but that's still quite a lot…."

"Is your life really that cheap!?"

"Think about normal labor costs! A human lifetime is worth less than you think!"

"You insane woman!!"

Even that resistance lasted only a few seconds. The flames condensed in the three assassins' hands were about to be unleashed. The black cloth covering her body would burn away in an instant, leaving her naked as she died—

"Eiii… In that case, since it'll all burn away anyway, I'll give the entire Nasriya Merchant Group to whoever comes out and saves me and Tom!!"

"Seriously, stingy until the bitter end!!"

She still hadn't bet her entire fortune. Look at her calculating profit and loss even on the verge of death. What a vicious woman, miser though she was.

So they laughed loudly at the most critical instant. Professionals should never have let their guard down until the very end, yet they failed to maintain even that simple principle. The price for that mistake arrived cruelly and silently.

"Uh!?"

"What was that?"

A very short, thick, intense vibration—like the flap of a bee's wings. They noticed the vicious sound of air being torn apart far too late.

"Didn't something just make a swishing sound?"

"I think I heard it t—"

Before they could identify the vibration, it was faster to stare at the bloody spray bursting from their right hands. As if choreographed, all three lost their right hands at the same moment. They watched their severed hands leave the wrist's support and spin through the air.

「「「Eh?」」」

Only then did the blood-soaked streams register. A single transparent line—like a high-pressure water cutter—had crossed between the three men, severing the light-condensed right hands without the slightest pain. The cut had been so sharp that none of them felt anything until their hands hit the floor with a dull thud.

"Uhhh… ugh…!"

"Oooooooh!!!"

"M-my haaaand~!?"

Then the bizarre screams finally joined together. All three wriggled like worms, desperately trying to staunch the red geysers spurting from their wrists.

In the face of a sniper attack clearly aimed at the assassins, color flooded back into Aisha Nasriya's face.

"See, Tom! Do a proper transaction and salvation comes immediately! The god of money hasn't abandoned me after all!"

"That's a lie. You're calling that a proper transaction!?"

To think a miracle would actually happen just as the money-obsessed woman claimed. Tom denied reality and screamed at the direction the water line had flown from.

"I never dreamed the day would come when I'd be this happy to become a debtor! Now then—who is the bold creditor who will wring money out of me, Aisha Nasriya!? Come out right now and reveal yourself!!"

In answer, the creditor hidden within the smoke swung a spear and stepped forward.

"Ludo von Eisenwald, newly appointed homeroom teacher of the Spinsters Class starting today!!"

Aisha's face, which had initially thought Oh, so that's the name, froze solid a moment later.

"…Huh?"

"Wait—my homeroom teacher!?"

She was stunned by the sudden self-proclaimed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠teacher and classmate who had appeared out of nowhere.

Naturally, the assassins were no exception.

No one could understand what was happening; they could only stare in pure shock. Only Ludo—the single person who didn't understand the situation—grinned slickly and continued speaking.

"All right, we'll begin roll call right now! This is our Spinsters Class's monumental first attendance, so answer with energy!?"

Even the short spear—Selena—matched Ludo's rhythm perfectly. With one more swing of the water-spraying blade tip, another assassin easily lost his life.