Memories That Shouldn't Have Been Rewound (2)
“Hee. I thought you’d become a bitch in heat who couldn’t even recognize her own parents. Looks like you still have enough reason left to tell who your family is.”
Zophy’s sneer didn’t reach my ears. With trembling lips, I begged.
“Father… Father… No… You can’t… do this… It hurts! Please, Father…”
There was no answer from my father. His expression was not human. The moment I saw it, the worst possible outcome flashed through my mind.
The scent Zophy had burned yesterday—the spores of the unripe purple mushroom…
“He can’t hear you. That thing over there will probably never understand human speech again. I must have made a small mistake… I think I increased the dosage too much. I’d been experimenting beforehand to see how much it takes to break a person’s mind, but back then I injected it directly instead of burning it as incense.”
Zophy smiled.
“In other words, your father is no longer a person in this world. So why not just enjoy it? You’ll be in the same state soon enough.”
Perhaps I had known from the beginning. Maybe from the very moment my virginity was taken. From the moment I felt that inexplicable familiarity in the voice of the man who had lost all reason while violating me.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t known. I simply hadn’t wanted to admit it. That the family I loved, whom I hadn’t seen once since joining the Light Denomination’s direct territory, had been reduced to this.
Tears welled up and blurred my vision. I should have been sad. I should have been in agony. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything else. Yet even as the man who had given me life—now a father who could never return to being human—brutally took me, I felt a filthy pleasure slowly rising and numbing my sense of self.
“Why…?”
Suppressing the scream soaked in a terrible mix of guilt and defeat, I forced my quivering voice to form words.
“Why… are you doing this…? I… clearly… healed you… back then…”
Beside my father’s soulless face as he crushed my insides, Zophy’s smirking face appeared.
“Curious about the reason?”
She offered a pretty smile. It was a clear laugh that didn’t belong in this place.
“The professors had been protecting you since your university days, even though you were nothing more than a baker’s daughter. You weren’t from a noble bloodline, you weren’t the top of theory, and you weren’t a genius at practical work. Aside from being a little good with a pen and that one time you healed me, your magical talent wasn’t anything special.”
…Was she talking about the three professors who had judged me at admission, and Professor Melissa? Had such ordinary pettiness and jealousy turned this woman into what she was now?
“…I was a little jealous back then, but that wasn’t the reason.”
After saying that, Zophy tilted her head.
“Uung, uht…”
Even as she spoke, my sense of self was being scraped away by the merciless violation from my father’s shell. Was she avoiding answering until my reason was completely erased?
“One day, when I came to in the courtyard, I had become a foolish loser. A pathetic noble lady who had charged at some insignificant baron’s son relying only on her bloodline and gotten knocked down. It was the perfect condition to become a laughingstock. Yet I had no memories at all—not even the memory of starting the duel. Rumors spread that you had done something, and they were true.”
When she said this, Zophy’s beautiful face had gone rigid.
“Still, I didn’t resent you for long. Defeat is originally a humiliating memory, so I told myself it was just my mind’s defense mechanism erasing it.”
Her frozen expression only relaxed after moving past that topic.
“Then news came that you, who couldn’t even properly cast a simple spell, had become the hero. Without any sign or warning. I, who had been the top student, was completely excluded from the hero selection. And I know the rumors that it was you who made the Demon King breathe his last.”
This time her tone was gentle. After pausing for a moment, she continued with a bright smile.
“I was jealous. As the duke’s daughter but far from the line of succession, I couldn’t even obtain something as minor as a ducal title, let alone become the hero. Well, heroes aren’t chosen by grades. But that jealousy wasn’t the reason either.”
Zophy’s face drew closer. Her beautiful golden hair tickled my face, wet with tears, sweat, and saliva. Her soft-looking lips whispered into my ear.
“I, who had to become a somewhat successful mage with nothing but a top graduate certificate that was useless in the line of succession, wandered around… offering magical solutions to various matters involving powerful noble houses or the wealthiest commoners.”
The princess’s face remained gentle, as if the time she had lived as a mage had truly been good memories.
“It wasn’t a bad life, and I was recognized as competent, fitting for a top graduate. Still, I wanted to rise a little higher, to a place where a little more sunlight reached.”
She lightly stroked my hair.
“And thanks to that music box incident… thanks to that naive count babbling about his son, I came to understand your true talent. The moment I heard about the music box, I realized what had happened to me during that humiliating duel. As expected, you were both the hero and a genius. My god, rewinding time…”
A hint of jealousy began to seep into Zophy’s voice. Jealousy she had kept hidden even when speaking of the hero.
“If I had you… if I had you as a tool, I could rise to the heavens even if I started from the bottom. The miraculous power to restore a person’s youth…”
Zophy’s voice was soaked in a sweet dream.
“I was planning to use you as a stepping stone. With you, I could achieve something greater than all the accomplishments my ancestor who received the ducal title had built. Something that could create an entirely new title, not just the Duke of Mittenburg. But…”
Zophy covered my eyes with her palm and added in a chilling voice.
“A precious tool like that can’t have a personality. I was simply pondering the most effective way to break the hero Kaira’s mind. Leaving only the unconscious ability to use her power. Well, those limbs won’t be necessary either, so later I’ll have to cut off everything but one arm.”
“That’s ridiculous… Just for something like that… It’s not even a grudge… Uht… You just… wanted to… uheut… succeed…?”
The wicked lady smiled and nodded, as if it were only natural.
“U, uht… My parents are citizens of the capital whom His Majesty has a duty to protect… No matter how much of a margrave’s… duke’s daughter you are, you can’t… do this… Ung, uheut… You’ll definitely pay for it…”
“Even while being violated by your own father and making such unsightly moans, you still have the reason to think that?”
Zophy retorted mockingly.
“You’re right. I alone couldn’t infringe upon that authority. The emperor’s authority is equivalent to the combined authority of all the margraves who supported him.”
A slightly dark shadow passed over Zophy’s face.
“…That’s how it should have been, but someone sent me a messenger directly with a secret letter. It was a letter from the court itself. It wasn’t stamped with the emperor’s seal, so it wasn’t an imperial edict, but your achievements were written there. The fact that you personally killed the Demon King with time rewinding. And that you were the most dangerous existence in the empire.”
“H-How…? We promised… We hid it…”
Mervin’s warning, the serious faces of the dwarf and ogre came to mind. We had clearly promised not to reveal how or by whom the Demon King had been defeated.
Had someone leaked it? Or had a court spy followed us?
“In the end, the emperor’s court abandoned you and your family. It doesn’t seem like His Majesty the Emperor directly ordered it, but who knows? Maybe he gave a secret command. Fortunately, there were wealthy commoners who could clean up afterward, so the kidnapping was easy to handle.”
“That can’t be… It’s a lie… There’s no way… Ang, uht…”
“A direct descendant of a ducal house who wouldn’t be suspected even if exchanging letters directly with the court. A ducal house, yet last in the succession line, making her a convenient piece to use and discard. A skilled mage who could deal with another mage. And that just happened to be me. So someone in the court commissioned me to do this dirty, despicable thing.”
For the first time, a hint of loneliness appeared on Zophy’s face.
“As I said, the grudge I hold against you is merely from when we were young. I didn’t want to ruin a classmate with my own hands… Even if it sounds like an excuse, please understand. I had no other choice.”
“It’s just an excuse… U, uht… That’s a pathetic… excuse…”
“I’ve told you something you shouldn’t know… Well. Since the hero Kaira will never see the light of day with her sanity intact again, it doesn’t matter if I tell you.”
“I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you…! U, uheut… I’ll kill you…!! Someday I’ll definitely escape and… you… you…”
The voice cut off there. It was as if the air to make the vocal cords vibrate had disappeared. …Yorlick’s Silence. With my voice sealed, I thrashed like a madwoman, letting out a silent scream. I wanted to tear that woman apart—her, chattering right in front of me—whether by magic, sword, or fingernails.
“I’m not the one you should resent. You should resent my birth that turned me into this monster, the someone in the court who judged you dangerous, and above all, your own horrifying power. Even if it hadn’t been me, you would have faced many dangers. Assassins, for example. Being used like this while alive would be better than that…”
Zophy clicked her tongue bitterly.
“I’ll continue to arrange father-daughter reunions for a long time. Until one of you passes away.”
With that, Zophy injected something into my veins and whispered.
“It’s a refined non-lethal component from the venom of a parasitic wasp that uses humans as hosts, mixed with the spores of the purple mushroom. I’ll be leaving for today, so don’t complicate your head with unnecessary thoughts and just enjoy yourself.”
After she disappeared and the iron door closed, Yorlick’s Silence was lifted.
By the time my voice returned, the hatred toward Zophy had already completely faded. Because the reason to hate someone had been erased.
I simply howled like a beast, swept away by the filthy pleasure that had risen while being raped by my father.
Only after the two of us collapsed from exhaustion was my father carried away by someone who looked like a ducal attendant.
Just before losing consciousness from exhaustion, I barely managed to use Kaira’s Secret Diary. I couldn’t tell if the magic had succeeded. My strength had drained away and it was hard to move my arms properly… and there was that suspicious cloth wrapped around my fingers that supposedly blocked magic.
I didn’t know if I had truly completed the spell formula and manifested the magic in this situation… but somehow, it felt like I had to. So that the hand movements would be engraved into instinct. So that even after I completely lost my mind, I could still use this magic as if it were instinct.
The fifth day… probably.
I miss Daddy.
While I was thrashing with that thought, Lady Zophy brought Daddy without delay. She also injected me with the medicine from the parasitic wasp…? without pain. Without the medicine it would be painful, so Lady Zophy was a good person.
Daddy’s movements were much slower than on the day he had taken my first time. Had Daddy gotten old too? There was only a twenty-year difference between us, so he should still have been in his prime.
It felt good to be held by Daddy. Sometimes Daddy bared his teeth and bit me, but it felt so good that my brain seemed to melt and spread through my entire body, so it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t hard either.
Every night before falling asleep, I moved one hand to draw something in the air. I couldn’t remember what it was… But it felt like I had to do it, so I moved my unwilling fingers and somehow managed.
The nineteenth day since meeting Lady Zophy.
Daddy, who had been coming until yesterday, didn’t come.
For some reason, I felt that Daddy would never come again.
Missing Daddy, I cried a little from sorrow.
Lady Zophy didn’t give me the medicine today. I panted and flopped on the wooden frame like a fish on a cutting board. Maybe because I was being too noisy, the person waiting outside the iron door punished me.
That person tormented my mouth. He put his thing in my mouth and moved it, then fed me something hot, salty, and fishy. It tasted so bad I thought I would throw up, but I ate it all because I didn’t want to be scolded.
After finishing the punishment, the person folded a stiff cloth, stuffed it into my mouth, and tied it with a string. He said if I kept thrashing it would be troublesome for him, so I should stay quiet.
With my mouth blocked, I couldn’t even cry properly. I sniffled, made the hand gesture I did every day, and fell asleep.
The twentieth day since meeting Lady Zophy.
The porridge I ate today had a little minced meat mixed in. It was good. No medicine today either. I really need the medicine Lady Zophy injected. That medicine… it feels good.
The thirtieth day since meeting Lady Zophy.
The meat was gone from the porridge. Medicine… There’s no medicine. I need medicine… I need medicine… It feels like bugs are crawling all over my body. I thrashed until the wooden frame broke. Itchy, itchy… itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy… It’s itchy, it’s itchy!! With a body like this, I can’t even scratch. I want to scratch, I want to scratch…
Medicine, please…
The thirty-fourth day since being kidnapped by Lady Zophy… that trash princess I want to kill.
The effect of the mind-numbing poison she had used for the first few days had worn off. Now I could think to some extent. Though my reason was tattered.
Since the nineteenth day, Zophy had never again sent my father to violate me.
I understood it instinctively. That Father… was no longer in this world. With my returned reason, I belatedly realized my father’s death and shed tears.
Zophy only knew it as the ability to rewind time; she probably didn’t know it was an ability that could revive even the dead, like Azalea.
So it would be good if I could somehow find my father’s body… but she would never tell me that.
That day, there was no particular torture either. Except that I had to satisfy with my mouth the attendant who guarded in front of my room, occasionally cleaned up my excrement, and regularly fed me thin porridge mixed with grain husks and straw.
I wondered for a long time why he, who could have played with me however he wanted, had insisted on only using my mouth… and at the end of my thoughts, I realized something.
That I hadn’t had a period once since being kidnapped.
Probably Zophy had thought of a good way to shatter my mind and instructed the attendant. To never use my lower body no matter what.
Because if they wanted to break my heart, everyone had to know one important fact. That there was only one person who had sown his seed.
Inside my belly, my younger sibling was growing.