Memories That Shouldn't Have Been Rewound (1)
The first day after being kidnapped by Zophy.
Truthfully, I couldn't tell if it was the first day. It was simply the day I first opened my eyes.
When I awoke from the dreamless, deep sleep Zophy had last gifted me, the ropes that had bound my body before I fell asleep were gone.
Even so, it wasn't much different from when I had been tied up. I was still strapped to a wooden frame, wearing not a single scrap of cloth. It was an X-shaped restraint designed to spread my limbs apart. My wrists and ankles were locked firmly in place by metal cuffs.
The first thing that entered my vision was a single person who looked like a servant. He gazed down at me with indifferent eyes, and the moment he confirmed I was awake, he hurried off somewhere.
Before long, she arrived. Zophy von Mittenburg.
"Did you have a pleasant dream, Hero Kaira? I do hope your journey to my humble abode was comfortable."
"Mmph, ugh, nn…"
Zophy offered her greeting in a gentle tone. With my throat stuffed full of cloth that had grown thoroughly soaked and stiff, and saliva that the gag couldn't absorb trickling past my lips, I couldn't give any reply.
"You woke earlier than I expected. I thought you'd sleep for at least three days, so my preparations aren't quite finished yet. It seems my magic is still lacking."
Zophy slowly reached out and gently took my hand.
"Last time, I bound your hands rather rudely without any consideration. This time, I cut the cloth properly and wrapped each finger with care, like a bandage, so you shouldn't feel any discomfort when moving."
Just as she said, my hands were tightly wrapped in something. Even without being told, I knew what it was—that strange cloth meant to seal magic.
"Since today is the first day, I won't do anything too harsh."
With those words, she held up a transparent glass jar filled with what looked like powder right in front of my eyes. After staring at the jar for a few seconds, I immediately recognized what it was and began thrashing in protest. No rattling sound came from the restraints that had me nailed firmly to the wooden frame.
"Eek, ugh…! Mmph, mmph!! Mmph!!"
"Oh my, you recognize it? As expected of a student who never dozed off during Professor Melissa's herbalism lectures."
The dark purple powder glowed ominously in the shadows. It was Purple Mushroom Spores. Spores harvested before the caps had fully bloomed—still moist. Once the caps had opened, even a small amount of Purple Mushroom Spores could be used as a powerful sleeping agent to induce deep sleep. Even bloomed spores were dangerous enough that improper dosing could put someone to sleep forever, but the professor had warned us specifically:
Never use unbloomed spores.
Unripe Purple Mushroom Spores weren't merely a sleeping agent. They were a highly addictive drug that induced pleasant hallucinations and drove the body beyond its limits into overwhelming pleasure, stripping away all reason. Professor Melissa had explained that it was likely the mushroom's defense mechanism—animals weren't meant to consume the immature spores.
How had she gathered so much of something so dangerous? And more importantly, what did she intend to use those spores for…?
Zophy mixed the purple spores into the faint fragrance already burning in the room. She left just as the spores began to spread throughout the space.
"Ugh, ugh…"
"Soon, both your body and mind will feel at ease. Please rest comfortably. I'm preparing a special welcome party just for you, so at the earliest, you'll see it tomorrow."
Zophy continued using that mocking polite speech until the very end before leaving my room. With no servant left to watch me, I struggled pointlessly as the spores began to erode my body with their addictive pleasure.
"Eek…!?"
Only a few minutes after being left alone, the spores began to take full effect. Even in this situation, my thighs grew shamefully wet. The secret crevice that had never allowed anyone to invade it, the small fissure I hadn't even touched since my reincarnation, began leaking sticky fluid with a wet sound.
It was humiliating, but…
I… want to touch it…
That was the only thought my drug-addled, reason-paralyzed mind could form. The terrible sensation of being held at the edge of climax with no release, the feeling of being abandoned. I thrashed with the desperate desire to reach orgasm, craving the pleasure that would destroy me even while knowing it would shatter my mind completely. My body twisted grotesquely against the restraints, limbs trembling violently, until I lost consciousness.
In the moment I blacked out, all I could think about was how I wanted to obscenely touch myself and come pathetically like something less than human.
In the final instant before losing consciousness, I unconsciously moved my awkwardly bound left hand. And I manifested it—Kaira's Secret Diary.
The second day after being kidnapped by Zophy.
Of course, I couldn't tell if it was the second day. It was simply the moment my shattered reason had partially returned, allowing me to think again.
The fragrance had burned out, and the spores' effects had weakened slightly. Perhaps that was why I could regain consciousness. The drug's terrible effects still lingered in my body. Though my reason had recovered to some degree, my lower body remained burning hot. If someone released my hands from the restraints, I felt certain I would immediately begin pleasuring myself with greedy abandon.
I wanted to let filthy drool spill from my gaping mouth and howl like a beast. I wanted to show everyone—my family included—how I would come in a vulgar, beastly manner like a filthy animal… It didn't matter what happened afterward. Please.
Please, please…!!
While drowning in such broken thoughts, the heavy iron door opened.
"How was your night, my dear hero? Did you sleep well?"
The moment I heard Zophy's voice, I looked at her with desperate eyes, silently begging her to do something. Zophy approached me with calm steps.
"Hnn."
Then she reached out with her beautiful hand toward the tightly knotted rope at the back of my head—the one keeping the cloth stuffed deep in my mouth from coming loose.
"I'll untie you. You wouldn't be able to chant properly while drugged anyway."
"Mmph, ugh…"
The rough cloth, soaked for days with sticky saliva from my throat, finally came free. With my mouth at last liberated after prolonged silence, I immediately began to beg.
"Please… Please, let me go… Untie me… Please…"
Zophy tilted her head once with an amused expression, then—
"Hyah?!"
—brushed her fingers once across my lower abdomen. Even though she hadn't touched anywhere particularly sensitive, pleasure surged through my entire body like electricity, driving me straight toward climax. My uncontrolled womanhood twitched as sticky fluid began to soak the wooden frame. Once again, I failed to reach release.
"What do you mean by 'let me go' or 'untie me'? You want me to make you come in the vulgar manner befitting you, don't you? You want me to satisfy that female-beast lust of yours? Surely you don't mean for me to release you from the restraints and set you free."
I bit my lip and gave no reply.
"Well, fine. I'll grant your wish."
I was furious.
When Zophy answered that she would make me climax, a shameful trickle of arousal had leaked out because part of me was glad—and that made me furious. Had I really fallen this far in just two days?
"Kaira, do you have any experience with men?"
Was it because of the memories of living as a man in my previous life? I had no experience with men, nor had I ever had even a light romantic relationship. Even when I looked at boys my age, no romantic feelings ever stirred. If anything, I felt aversion.
"N-no… I don't… Hnn?!"
Zophy gave a disinterested "Hmm," then used her fingers to spread my folds wide and peered inside, even using a light spell to see better.
"I see. Thank you for being honest. By the way, you have a pretty little cunt. So modest and tightly closed, a beautiful pink. It suits your childlike, slender body well. I wonder what magic you used to make even this place smell like bread. So, you don't masturbate often, do you, Kaira?"
I averted my gaze as I answered.
"I-I've… never… done it…"
Right after recalling my past life, curiosity had briefly stirred, but perhaps because I was in a girl's body, my sexual desire wasn't particularly strong. After entering the magic academy, I hadn't had time to think about such things at all.
"Is that so? I'll believe you for now. Well, whether you have or haven't doesn't really matter. Now, if you'll excuse me."
Zophy picked up the filthy, saliva-soaked cloth with her pretty hand, showing no disgust. The duke's daughter carefully draped the cloth over my eyes with excessive care before tying it firmly behind my head.
Now I could see nothing, my eyes covered by cloth reeking of the foul odor that had seeped from my throat for days.
"I thought you'd want your first time to be taken by someone meaningful, so I've invited someone special to claim your virginity. Well, you won't be able to see them anyway."
As Zophy spoke, I sensed another presence enter the room. …Who could it be? Perhaps some high-ranking person Zophy needed to entertain…
"Ugh, ah…"
It was the dazed groan of a man who didn't sound particularly noble.
Fear of having my first time stolen, tension over not knowing when or how pain or pleasure would strike, and… a vulgar, shameful anticipation that I didn't care what happened as long as someone took me soon—all of it washed over me as I clenched my fists.
In the moment my leg muscles relaxed slightly from being tense for too long—
"Hnnngh?!!?"
A foreign sensation pierced through my torso, along with searing pain as if my lower abdomen were being carved out with a razor—
…And a woman's pleasure I hadn't felt since meeting the Demon King, as if my brain were being dug out.
"Ah, eh… ah…? Ah, hnn, ugh, ugh…"
Conflicting signals—the pain of tearing membranes and the pleasure awakening a female's joy—whipped through my entire body. I didn't even know what reaction to make or what sound to produce, so I let out foolish, inarticulate moans, accompanied by tears that further soaked the already damp blindfold.
As the pain of rupture gradually subsided, it transformed into pure ecstasy. The red signals of my body being torn apart and the black image of a man's filthy organ invading me all scattered, replaced by waves of pink happiness.
"Ah… ugh, hnn, hah, ah, ahh…"
The moans stained with pain, confusion, and bewilderment gradually shifted into feminine cries. It was shameful, but… now nothing mattered anymore.
Being kidnapped and bound in this place, having my reason half-erased by a dangerous drug, being forced to lose my virginity—none of it mattered now…
"You've got quite the lovely expression. And you're making such pretty sounds."
I could barely hear Zophy's words anymore. Only desire remained—the filthy craving for the unknown man violating me to torment me more violently, more cruelly, crushing my mind beneath it.
"Have you heated up enough? Then it's about time."
Zophy spoke with laughter in her voice, then placed her hand on my face. When her suddenly cold fingers touched my cheek, I flinched in surprise.
Her hand slowly removed the blindfold. Teasingly, truly slowly.
Through my blurry, tear-wet vision, I saw the face of the man who was violating me. I blinked several times, and my sight cleared. In that instant, my mind snapped back to clarity.
It felt as if something heavy had struck the back of my head.
With my suddenly returned reason, I spoke clearly.
"Father…?"