Episode 6: Morning Ruckus - Part 1
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. My hair stuck out in every direction. I greeted the day with a big yawn and a long stretch.
When I turned my head, the witch was nowhere to be seen on the bed. What’s she doing outside?
I headed straight out. The moment I opened the door, a thick aroma of meat rushed in and filled my nose. It smelled incredible.
“You’re awake?”
The witch greeted me. She was slicing carrots with her long nails.
“Uh, hey. What are you doing?”
“What does it look like? Making breakfast.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. You went the whole day without eating yesterday.”
“Uh… you noticed?”
“Of course. I felt bad, so I decided to at least make some rabbit stew.”
“Whoa… this is weird. Why are you being so nice?”
The witch brushed her hair back with her nails and gave a shy little smile. It was the complete opposite of yesterday. There was no way she could be this gentle. She had to be plotting something.
“Are you seriously the one who made this?”
I shot her a doubtful look. There was no chance that violent witch was actually cooking. She probably laced it with poison.
“What? You really don’t trust me?”
“Nope. It’s impossible.”
“Ugh, you idiot. Why is it impossible?”
The witch clenched her small fist and gave my shoulder a light shove. Was that… aegyo? Had she actually lost her mind? Why was she acting like this?
“Want to taste it?”
The witch scooped up some hot broth and blew on it gently. Is this the last soup I’ll ever drink in this life? She must have spiked it with something lethal. What a cruel woman. She was trying to send me off like this. Look at how red that broth is. The seasoning was so spicy it stung my nose just from the smell. Was she planning to kill me with heat? Or maybe kill me first and then cook me in the stew? This was probably her way of letting me have one last taste before I died.
Before the broth even touched my lips, a thousand gruesome thoughts flashed through my head.
“Slurp.”
“Huh?”
The witch tasted the cooled broth first.
“I think it’s fine… but I’m not sure how Allen will like it.”
“It’s really okay?”
“Of course it is. Here, Allen, you try it.”
This was weird. It couldn’t be right. The witch ladled a small amount and held it out to me.
“Slurp.”
The hot broth slid down my throat. It had a sharp, savory kick, but the aftertaste was clean. It was actually good? I scooped another spoonful myself. Delicious. Something was definitely wrong.
I dipped the spoon back into the pot. Hmm? Something felt heavy, like it had caught on the spoon. I swirled it around, and whatever it was came up with it.
I lifted the spoon. A wild rabbit. A completely unskinned, fully furred wild rabbit corpse. Why the hell was an unskinned rabbit in the stew? What was this?
The rabbit stared straight into my eyes. It was grotesque. Aaa… aaa… what the hell is this… a corpse… it’s a corpse? Why is there a corpse h—
“Aaaagh!”
I blinked, and the rabbit corpse was right in front of my face.
“Won’t you get up already?”
Startled, I slammed the back of my head into the corner of the bed. Ow, that hurt. I rubbed the sore spot.
“What the hell are you doing first thing in the morning?”
“What am I doing? Didn’t I tell you to make rabbit stew this morning?”
Fuck. Of course it was a dream. No wonder the witch had been so nice. It was too good to be true.
“You could’ve just called my name. Why did you shove a corpse in my face?”
“That’s the only way you’d get up quickly to cook.”
“D-don’t do that next time. You scared me.”
“Don’t do that? Are you giving me orders?”
“Please don’t do that anymore…”
“Whatever. Hurry up and move. I’m hungry.”
“O-okay.”
After seeing a rabbit corpse right after waking up, I’d completely lost my appetite. Just holding the rabbit by its ears made me want to throw up.
Ever since the witch showed up, I hadn’t had a single peaceful day.
The sheep in the pasture stared at me with pitying eyes. You guys think I’m pathetic too, huh? We’re not so different after all.
“Haaa…”
“Allen, hurry up.”
That damn witch. She couldn’t stand seeing me idle for even a second.
“I’m working on it…”
Just once, I wanted to see the witch groveling and begging me. Whimpering and submitting completely. Just imagining it put a smile on my face.
“Stop smirking and boil the damn thing.”
“Yes…”
Rot in hell. I rushed to light the fire and start the rabbit stew. How had my life come to this… It was truly miserable.
The smoke from the fire stung my eyes. I sniffled.
“Just sitting there taking a shit, huh?”
“I was just sitting, okay?”
“Oh?”
The witch wrapped her arm around my head. The insane strength pressing down on my skull made me think it might actually crack. But at the same time, I felt the soft, heavy press of her chest against me. Heavy yet incredibly soft. Is this what they mean by carrot and stick?!
The witch seemed very satisfied with the rabbit stew I’d prepared.
“Even a caterpillar knows how to roll. Excellent work.”
“Is… that a compliment?”
“Of course. From now on, I hereby appoint you as my personal chef!”
“Can I refuse?”
“You can only refuse when you’re dead.”
“Ah…”
So I had become her personal chef…
“Allen.”
“What?”
“Do you live without ever cleaning your room?”
“I do clean it.”
“Starting today, I’m appointing you as my personal cleaner. Make sure my bedding is neatly arranged every single day.”
“That’s too much. I already have a lot of work.”
“What did I say about refusing?”
“Haaa…”
Now I was even her personal cleaner. She was basically turning me into her slave. I’d heard the stories before—how the witch would come down to villages and enslave the people there. To think a folktale had become my reality. This has to be a dream… Yeah. This isn’t a dream.
After finishing breakfast, I tidied up the witch’s bedroom as well. I barely managed to swallow the curses that kept rising in my throat. What wouldn’t a guy do to survive…
Today was the day I had to head down to the village. I went once a week. I needed to buy daily necessities and sell my goods at the market. It was always an incredibly busy day.
“Witch, I’m going to head to the village for a bit.”
“The village?”
“Yeah. I have to go today.”
“You’re trying to run away, aren’t you?”
“No way. Why would I leave my own house?”
“Where is your house?”
“This is my house. Whose else would it be?”
“It’s my house though?”
This fucking bitch keeps spouting nonsense. Where did she get off acting like such a thief? I kept letting her get away with it because she was pretty, and now she thought she could do whatever she wanted. Maybe I should just gouge her eyes out.
“Haha… you’re quite the joker, witch…”
“If you run away, I’ll turn the entire village into a sea of fire. Choose wisely.”
“Who said I was running away…”
“Be back before sunset. You know what happens if you break your promise, right?”
“Yeah, yeah…”
Am I your damn servant, you big-breasted woman? I felt like shoving my face between those breasts. I hurriedly got ready to head down to the village. I pulled out the large cart from the shed and packed every item without missing a single thing—mutton cured in saltwater, dried mutton, processed wool, various herbs and mushrooms I’d gathered from the mountain. I planned to hand all of it over to the wholesaler in the village.
Since I never stayed in the village long, the wholesaler would sell my goods for me and return the money after taking his commission. That was how I delivered goods once a week and collected my payment.
I wonder how much I’ll get this time?
Last time I’d luckily found a large territory mushroom and given it to the wholesaler. I’d planned to buy three kid goats with that money.
The village entrance was packed. The market streets were bustling from the very first step in. People selling sheep, people selling cows, people selling horses—every kind of vendor imaginable.
Since I was planning to buy goats, I stopped by to see if there were any good ones.
“Mister.”
“Oh, Allen! Come on over. It’s been a while.”
“Yes. You weren’t here last week.”
“Yeah, I was busy with work in the fields. What brings you by?”
“I came to look at some kid goats today. How much are they per head?”
“You’ve come to the right place. Look here—I only brought the healthiest ones. One hundred jeon each.”
“One hundred jeon per head? That’s a fair price.”
“Right? I’m only giving you this deal because it’s you, Allen.”
“Thank you. I need to stop by the wholesaler first, so please wait a little while.”
“Sure. Take your time. Go grab some market food while you’re at it.”
“Will do. Thanks, mister.”
After the short chat with the goat seller, I headed deeper into the market. There was one stall I always ate at whenever I came here. The buckwheat pancakes they sold were absolutely perfect.
“Mister!”
“Allen! Two buckwheat pancakes, right?”
“Yes. Haha. You’ve got it memorized now.”
“Of course. You’re a regular. But Allen, is the rumor true?”
“What rumor?”
“I heard from the doctor… that there’s a witch living at your house.”
So the doctor had gone around spreading the story to the entire village. The villagers were terrified of witches. Witches were simply too powerful to control easily. They were monsters full of variables, with a high chance of harming humans.
“Haha… it’s true. But nothing bad has happened.”
“That’s a relief. I thought you might be dead.”
I didn’t want to make the villagers anxious for no reason.
“I’m the one who gets surprised hearing all the witch rumors.”
“What kind of rumors?”
“Stuff like how they’re all ferocious and violent—those ridiculous claims.”
“Those are all true, Allen. Don’t let the witch fool you.”
“Why not?”
“There’s only one reason a witch would ever treat a human kindly.”
“What is it?”
“When she needs something from that human. Remember this, Allen. The moment a witch starts being nice to you, be suspicious.”
“I understand…”
I took the old man’s words to heart. I doubted the witch would ever treat me kindly, but still. It didn’t seem like it would ever happen in my lifetime. This witch just planned to work me to the bone.
After filling my stomach with buckwheat pancakes, I headed to the wholesaler to collect my money.
“Hello, mister.”
“You’re late, Allen.”
“I got held up eating buckwheat pancakes. Haha.”
“You know… Allen…”
The man’s expression was dark. I had no idea what was going on. The reason turned out to be that he couldn’t pay me for the territory mushroom. He had been forced to offer it up to the lord of the village, Lucas.
“I’m sorry. He said if I didn’t, he’d bring soldiers and take it by force. What was I supposed to do…?”
This wasn’t the first time Lucas had pulled something like this. The bastard was worse than a dog. Even the witch wouldn’t stoop this low. The value of everything he had already stolen from me easily surpassed ten thousand jeon. Lucas constantly seized goods that came through the wholesaler without paying a single coin. I had been waiting for the right moment to give him a proper beating. I was already irritated because of the witch, so this was perfect timing.
“I can’t just let this one go.”
“What are you going to do…? Just endure it. It’s not like Lucas is the type to pay up.”
“No. If I let it slide again, he’ll just keep doing it.”
I rolled up the sleeves on both arms and headed straight for Lucas.