The Annoying Witch
I climbed the mountain with a wooden frame strapped to my back, the moonlight as my only companion. The moon hung bright tonight, so the mountain path didn’t feel especially dark. Still, it wasn’t as clear as daytime, which meant I had to watch my step. One slip and I’d be taking the express route to the afterlife. Slowly, carefully.
I checked the positions of the trees, retracing the route I’d taken that afternoon. A short paulownia tree about my height. Right beside it, a birch. This was the right path. Paths might look alike, but the trees told me where I was. That was when I heard a rustle.
A wild animal? Tension shot through me and I snatched up a fallen branch from the ground. It could be something big. Better to have a weapon, just in case. Rustle, rustle. I swallowed hard. It was too dark to see clearly, so I squinted until my brows furrowed. Rustle, rustle. Something burst out.
“Woof! Woof!”
Parting the bushes was Melo.
“Melo!”
Melo came bounding over, tail wagging like a propeller. When did he follow me? Must have come to protect his big brother.
“When did you get here? You scared the hell out of me.”
He reared up on his hind legs and licked my face all over. My cheeks were instantly slick with drool. Gross.
“Enough, enough. Let’s go.”
I sent Melo ahead and headed for the traps. Past this paulownia tree there should be a small pool of water nearby. The only problem was finding the flower I’d used as a marker. I’d have to rely on instinct. It was around here somewhere… where was it?
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
Melo, who had run on ahead, barked sharply.
“Oh! Did you find it, Melo?”
With a satisfied grin I jogged over to where he stood. There was the puddle, and caught in the trap was a roe deer. Beside it lay a dead mountain rabbit.
The roe deer let out a hideous cry the moment it saw me.
“Kweeeeer. Kweeeek.”
It thrashed violently, trying to escape the snare with savage, desperate sounds. Its eyes were wet with fear.
“Hold still!”
I clamped a hand over its muzzle. Sorry, little guy. Time to head down the yellow road. If I wanted to give the witch meat, blood had to be spilled. I squeezed my eyes shut and twisted its neck. Crack.
“Kweeeek…”
The roe deer gave one final shriek and went limp.
“Phew… sorry.”
I removed the trap, loaded the deer onto the wooden frame, then added the dead rabbit. I tied them down securely with rope so they wouldn’t slip off. Good enough. I hoisted the frame onto my back. The sudden heavy weight nearly knocked me over.
A roe deer this size should make the witch happy.
Imagining her pleased expression filled me with confidence. That face that always looked down on me—she’d be shocked when she saw this, right? I needed to reclaim my shattered pride. Melo seemed happy about the catch too; his tail swished gently back and forth.
“Hey, idiot. There’s nothing here for you. You should be grateful she hasn’t boiled you yet.”
I scolded him for no reason. I don’t know if he understood, but his tail drooped at my words.
“Just kidding… I won’t let her eat you.”
His tail immediately began wagging again. Could he actually understand me? No way.
I hurried down the slope. It was steep. I had to be extra careful.
Ugh…
The roe deer was heavier than I expected. I set the frame down and searched for a branch sturdy enough to use as a walking stick.
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
As I started down again with the stick, Melo stared back into the forest and barked like a mad dog.
“Melo! Quiet! I almost fell, you mutt. Shush!”
I waved the stick at him in warning. When I tried to continue, he barked toward the woods again.
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“Melo! Shut up!”
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“What are you barking at? There’s nothing there.”
The forest was pitch black. I couldn’t see a thing. Probably just a wildcat. I decided to ignore it. Melo kept glancing back like a dog desperate to poop. After walking quite a distance, he still hadn’t caught up.
“Hey. Come on, Melo.”
He stared blankly behind us for a moment, then ran over and scratched at my leg.
“What? What is it…? Huh? There really is something…?”
Looking closer, I saw a dark shape moving in the shadows. It noticed me and started walking straight toward us.
“Wh-what the hell?”
Melo bared his teeth and growled. My instincts screamed danger. A terrible premonition.
“Melo, run!”
I clutched the frame’s rope with a death grip and sprinted down the slope. I didn’t dare look back, eyes glued to the ground as I ran.
“What is that thing…!”
I had no idea what it was, but the sound of it trampling through the grass told me it was chasing us. Past the slope, one last hill before home. Once I cleared it, the house was just ahead.
Curiosity got the better of me. While running up the hill I twisted my head to look.
“Huh?”
Big mistake. Because I turned, I didn’t see the rock jutting out in front of me. My foot caught and my body left the ground.
“Nooo—!”
I spun once in mid-air and tumbled head-over-heels down the hill. Luckily the rope on the frame snapped during the fall. If I’d rolled with that heavy thing on my back, my ribs would’ve been crushed.
“Ooomamama!”
I rolled for what felt like forever before finally stopping.
“Ugh…”
I’d rolled so much I couldn’t breathe properly. My lungs felt packed full of air. My voice wouldn’t come out right.
“Cough… heave… gotta get up…”
I grabbed at weeds, trying to pull myself upright, but only got handfuls of dirt. With one eye cracked open I looked at the ground—and saw an animal’s foot. It was covered in thick fur… What kind of beast…? Was this how I died? Eaten alive…?
My eyelids fluttered. All I could hear was Melo’s desperate howling. The sound grew fainter. The foot came closer. Sharp claws. Brown fur. Walking on two legs…? A bipedal… bipedal beast… what was it again…? My eyelids are so heavy… Blink. Blink.
Blink…
“You awake?”
When I opened my eyes I was lying in bed.
“Ow…”
Trying to sit up sent a sharp pain through my ribs. Nothing seemed broken, at least. I clutched my throbbing side and forced myself upright.
“What happened? I definitely rolled down from the top of the hill, so why am I here…?”
“Idiot. You were sprawled out at the bottom like a corpse.”
“Something was chasing me.”
I stared at the witch with wide eyes.
“Sure it was. You probably got scared of your own shadow and tripped like a fool.”
“I’m telling you it’s true.”
“Tsk. What would you have done if I hadn’t come?”
“But how did you even know I was there?”
“How? That damn dog kept whining nonstop, so I followed him.”
The witch gave me a look of pure pity. Strange. I clearly remembered seeing brown furry feet.
“Really? I swear I saw the feet of a brown furry beast. It was walking on two legs.”
“Bipedal?”
“Yeah. Definitely bipedal.”
“So you’re saying there’s a bear living on this mountain?”
“Huh? I’ve never seen a bear here before.”
“Then maybe you saw a ghost.”
“I’m telling you that’s not it!!”
I shouted in frustration, completely losing my sense of up and down.
“Are you yelling at me right now? Guess you’re not scared of me after all.”
“N-no, it’s just that you won’t believe me. It’s true, I swear. But… sorry.”
“Oh? I treat you nicely and suddenly you think you can talk back?”
The witch’s face twisted as she raised her hand.
“I never said you treated me nicely. Sorry. Put your hand down.”
“Put it down?”
“Please put your hand down. I’m sorry.”
“Go catch another roe deer to make up for it.”
“When did you even bring that one back?”
I had completely forgotten about the roe deer. The thought of eating its meat had even made me forget the pain… How long had it been since I last tasted roe deer?
I kicked off the blanket and headed to the yard to cook the meat. But when I got outside, the roe deer was nowhere to be found.
“Witch. Where’s the roe deer? I don’t see it.”
She didn’t come out of the house.
“Witch! I can’t find the roe deer! Witch!”
She finally trudged out, clearly annoyed.
“What.”
“You said you brought the roe deer. Where is it?”
“Roe deer?”
“Yeah. Where did you put it? I need to prepare it.”
“What are you talking about? I ate it earlier.”
“Come on. Stop joking. Where is it?”
“I ate it.”
The witch crossed her arms and answered carelessly.
“What? For real?”
“Yeah. It was delicious. Thanks to you I ate until I was full. Appreciate it.”
Slam. She shut the door and disappeared inside.
I stood there staring blankly at the dying campfire.
“Is she actually insane?”
My lips trembled. My hands and feet shook. Rage I couldn’t control surged through me. Living like this, I was going to die from stress-induced illness.
No matter how strong the witch was, I had to speak up. I stormed toward her house, stomping loudly so she’d know exactly how angry I was.
Witch. You messed with the wrong person. I’ll show you that when I get mad, I’m terrifying.
“Witch, come out! Do you even know how hard I worked to get that—”
“What? You have something to say?”
“Huh?”
When the door opened, the witch was sharpening her razor-sharp nails against the corner of the table.
Scraaape. Scraaape.
“I was just wondering if you hadn’t seen the rabbit… but you’re sharpening your nails on the table? There are tons of rocks outside, why would you—”
“So you have a problem with it?”
“No. Just offering an opinion. You didn’t see the rabbit?”
“Oh. The rabbit’s by the fire. Leave it. I’m eating it tomorrow.”
“So you’re eating the rabbit too. I see. Yeah… I’ll just peel some sweet potatoes then.”
“Perfect. If you’ve got nothing to do, bring me a stone and sharpen my nails.”
“Me? Uh, sure. Got it.”
I picked a long stone from the yard. Sighing deeply.
“Haaa…”
I placed the witch’s hand on my knee and began sharpening her nails with careful strokes. Blowing the dust away with my breath, I spoke.
Scraaape. Scraaape.
“Hoo~ hooo~! Witch-nim, I’ll make them nice and shiny for you.”
“Good. You know what happens if they don’t sparkle, right?”
“Yes… Just leave it to me~!”
“And tomorrow, make rabbit stew too.”
“Ah… yes, ma’am.”
Sigh… I’m holding back today because I’m starving. Damn it. What the hell am I going to do with this fucking bitch?