The Witch and the Wild Beast Hunt
"Mmm...!"
The morning sunlight slipped through the gaps in the window and tormented my face. Just as I squinted against the stinging rays, the Witch's face appeared right before my eyes.
"Ack!"
I screamed. I probably sprayed spit everywhere, but the Witch kept a perfectly serene expression.
"Did I scare you?"
"Yeah..."
"Why? Is my face that scary?"
"Huh? No. It's because you're too pretty."
"You really can't lie, can you?"
"It's the truth."
The Witch grinned. For some reason, she seemed to be in an especially good mood today.
"That shower thing you told me about."
"Yeah?"
"I tried it, and my body feels so refreshed. I've never felt like this before."
It seemed the Witch had taken quite a liking to showers. If I ever introduced her to hot springs, she'd probably lose her mind.
"I'll take you to a place called a hot spring next time."
"Hot spring?"
"Yeah. It's a hundred times better than a shower."
"You're such a good kid, aren't you?"
"Uh... I guess so."
The Witch cupped my cheeks with both hands and squished them, turning my mouth into fish lips.
W-wait, is this a reward kiss...?
I'd cursed at her pretty badly yesterday. This was making me feel guilty. I should probably close my eyes, right? Worried that staring might make her feel awkward, I gently shut both eyes.
Huh? Why isn't she kissing me? Is she shy?
I slowly opened my eyes again. She was just staring straight at me.
"What are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"I said, what are you doing?"
"Ah. Guess I'm not fully awake yet..."
Feeling awkward, I stretched and hurriedly got up. The Witch simply stared at me blankly. Embarrassed, I changed the subject.
"Aren't you hungry? We should eat."
She thought for a moment, then spoke.
"Meat..."
"Meat? We don't have any meat."
The Witch turned her head toward the window. She was looking at the sheep.
"Hey? What are you looking at, Witch?"
"Meat..."
The Witch licked her lips as she stared at the sheep. I could hear saliva pooling in her mouth.
"Witch. The sheep are off-limits... They're my only means of livelihood."
"Means of livelihood?"
"Yeah. Something I need to survive."
"Something you need to survive... I have something like that too!"
"Huh? You do? What is it?"
"Meat!"
"Ah..."
The Witch couldn't tear her eyes away from the sheep. This was dangerous. Once she got a taste for mutton, there'd be no stopping her. It didn't seem like one would satisfy her at all. I needed to change the subject.
"Oh! Witch. You said yesterday that you'd catch a wild boar for me. We can eat boar meat!"
"Wild boar? No way."
"Huh? Why not?"
"It hurts."
"It hurts? You look perfectly fine... You can't catch one?"
"Yeah. It's annoying."
Ugh... Just as the rumors said, the Witch was bad. Selfish. Did whatever she wanted. Promising to catch one and then refusing because it's annoying—what a hypocrite. I needed to think of a way to kick her out. If I kept living with the Witch like this, the house would be ruined, sheep or no sheep.
Ah! I just thought of a good idea.
"Witch. Then how about we go hunting together?!"
"Hunting? That's annoying. Just go by yourself."
"No can do. The doctor said that to heal your wounds faster, you need to walk a lot."
"Where's this doctor? Is it food?"
"It's not food! She came when you were sick. Your wounds need to heal quickly. Let's go for a walk while we're at it."
"I'm all better now."
The Witch insisted she was fine and paced around the room with brisk steps.
"Still, we need to take a walk!"
"Are you giving me orders right now?"
"No... I'm saying this all for your sake."
"I don't want to. You go alone."
The Witch was impossibly stubborn. She stopped listening entirely and flopped onto the bed.
There was no helping it. I'd have to use my trump card.
"Taking a walk makes you feel good though..."
"Feel good?"
The Witch reacted. I'd noticed it over the past few days—the Witch was selfish, but simple. And she loved the words feel good more than anything.
"Yeah. Guess it can't be helped. I'll just have to go alone~~"
"Ah, no. Take me with you."
"Why~? You said it was annoying. Just rest here. I'll go by myself."
"What? If you want to die, take even one step out that door."
The Witch extended her nails. Then, to threaten me, she slashed at the wooden wall. Her nail easily sliced through it, leaving a clear mark.
"Ah... Please spare me."
"Then take me with you."
"Yes..."
Only then did the Witch smile with satisfaction.
The entire way into the forest, the Witch couldn't take her eyes off the sheep. Saliva kept leaking from the corner of her mouth, so I wiped it away with my hand. Strangely enough, even her drool seemed to smell pleasant. The Witch's saliva on my finger. I brought it to my nose and sniffed.
It smells like honey. Should I take a lick?
Just as I was contemplating it—
"How far are we going?" the Witch asked.
I quickly shoved my finger into my pants.
"Uh... We just need to pass that valley over there."
"What are we trying to catch?"
"Hmm. There are mountain rabbits and mountain chickens."
"That won't fill me up."
"There aren't many big beasts around here. Wild boars are pretty rare too."
The Witch looked disappointed.
"Don't worry. With some luck, we might even catch a roe deer."
"I like roe deer meat too."
We decided to look for paths that wild beasts would likely travel. The plan was to set snares on the trails they used frequently. The bait was dried sweet potatoes from the house—something mountain beasts went crazy for.
"Here, footprints."
"Where?" I walked over to where the Witch pointed. Three-toed prints. They belonged to a mountain chicken. Right beside them was a pile of its droppings.
"Oh. Nice work. Let's set one up here."
Without thinking, I patted the Witch on the head. After setting the snare, I stood up. The Witch remained frozen in place.
"Why are you standing like that?"
"What was that just now?"
"Huh? Just now? I set up the snare."
"Not the snare. That thing you did—like this."
"Like this?"
"Yeah. You rubbed my head with your hand like this earlier. What is that?"
"D-did I do something wrong? If you're going to kill me, please make it painless."
I immediately dropped to my knees. It was automatic by now. The Witch just stared at me with a dazed expression.
"Do that sometimes. It feels weird."
The Witch spoke indifferently, then turned and walked away. I stood there, completely bewildered.
"You're not going to kill me?"
I got up right away and hurried after her. Ever since I'd patted her head, the Witch had been walking around in a complete daze.
"Witch. What are you thinking about?"
"..."
"Witch!"
"Huh? Oh. Why?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
For a long while, the Witch walked in silence.
"Whoa?!"
I discovered roe deer tracks.
"Witch. Jackpot! If we're lucky, we can catch a roe deer."
Next to the tracks was a small pool of stagnant water. It was probably a spring the mountain beasts used. This looked like the perfect spot. I scattered all the remaining sweet potatoes and set the snare. Now we just had to wait.
While waiting, I decided to go fishing. After all, if we stayed here the beasts would run off. Besides, nothing would come near with a scary Witch standing around.
"Let's head down now."
"Head down? We have to catch the mountain beasts."
"They'll only come to drink if we're not here."
"Is that how it works?"
"Yeah. For now, let's at least catch some fish."
The Witch squatted down and kept staring at the snare. When I started heading down, she got up sluggishly, as if it was too much trouble.
I couldn't stand watching anymore.
"Is going down annoying?"
"Yeah. Carry me."
"Carry... you?"
"What do you mean by that?"
The Witch looked up at me from below. There was that glare again. Like a mutt before a wolf, I averted my eyes.
"No. How could I possibly carry you...? It'd make more sense if you carried me."
"You can't carry me either?"
"You're... a Witch."
"So what."
"If I carry a Witch, I'll die."
"I don't weigh that much."
The Witch stood up with a pouty expression. I wasn't calling her fat... The Witch might look slender, but you couldn't underestimate her. Her body was packed with compressed muscle. For the same frame, she easily weighed three times what a human would. The Witch and I were similar in height and build. I was barely sixty-five kilograms. No matter how slim she looked, the Witch had to be over a hundred kilograms.
"So you're not going to carry me?"
"Don't you feel sorry for me at all?"
The words burst out before I could stop them. She should be the one carrying me, if anything.
"Tsk. Fine. You can't even manage one second?"
"Sigh... One second?"
"If you carry me for just one second, I won't bother you anymore."
The Witch was strangely fixated on this. Well, once the stubborn Witch decided on something, she'd keep pouting until she got her way. Whatever. If my legs break, they break. A few months without walking wouldn't kill me.
"Fine... Get on..."
In the end, I squatted down and let her climb on.
"You should've done this from the beginning."
Only now did the Witch's mood seem to improve.
"Here I come!"
The Witch placed her hands on my shoulders.
I needed to prepare myself. I held my breath. Hup!
The moment the Witch lifted her legs and settled onto my shoulders—
"Huuuup...! ...Kuh kuh..."
I couldn't withstand her weight and collapsed on the spot.
"Aww, what the hell! A man can't even handle that?!"
The Witch brushed the dirt off her hands as she spoke. Meanwhile, my face was buried in the mud. At least my legs were still intact...
"Ptoo, ptui..."
The mud smelled like piss. This is fucking bullshit... It must have been a spot where the mountain beasts had urinated. The weak have to endure. I sighed.
"There. That's enough, right...?"
"How are you going to do anything if you're that weak?"
All she ever thinks about is using me. At this rate I might actually become her slave. I brushed the dirt off my legs.
"Let's go down now..."
"Yeah~ You really need to build up some strength. Your waist isn't weak too, is it?"
The Witch said this while glancing downward. Where exactly are you looking? I really want to give her a piece of my mind tonight.
"It's tremendous. Don't worry."
"Pfft...!"
The Witch burst out laughing and kept giggling to herself the entire way down to the river. I had no idea what was so funny. The whole descent, she mocked me nonstop.
Thud. Thud. Thump—
As we headed down the hill, the ground began to shake.
"Wh-what the—"
Along with the shaking came a deafening roar that made my ears ring. Eeeee— I quickly covered my ears. It had only lasted a few seconds, but the sound was loud enough to leave them muffled.
"What was that just now?"
I looked at the Witch. Her expression had already hardened completely.