What Is a Witch...?
The witch takes long showers. I got tired of waiting and slipped into the room first.
“Haaam~!” I stretched my mouth wide and let out a massive yawn.
When is she coming?
Clack. The door opened before the thought even finished forming. The witch stepped in wearing a bathrobe, but the fabric was damp and clung to every curve of her body. Her chest pushed out prominently against the material. My pupils dilated. Heat flooded my cheeks.
“Y-you’re here?”
“Why are you in here?”
“Huh? Where?”
“Why are you on my bed?”
The witch asked with an expression of pure displeasure. I scrambled off the mattress in a panic.
“Oh, sorry. But this was originally my—”
“What?”
“My bed…”
“So?”
“No, I made a separate one just for you…!”
“Get out.”
The witch brushed past me and sat at the very edge of the bed. Her hair was soaked, water dripping steadily onto the sheets. She adjusted her robe and spoke again.
“Don’t you have any other clothes?”
“Clothes?”
“I can’t sleep in this.”
“You could sleep naked…”
“Sleep naked what?”
“Slip of the tongue. Please spare my life.”
Before my head could leave my shoulders, I dropped to my knees and bowed until my cartilage screamed.
“Stop overdoing it and go find me something to wear.”
“Y-yes. Your mercy is boundless.”
What would work? I headed to the clothing storage and sorted through options. The elegant white shirt made by the river? Hmm… first candidate. The thick sweater I’d knitted for fieldwork. That length would probably reach her thighs. Would it look like one of those “dresses” women talk about? Hmm… second candidate. Last, the shorts I’d made by cutting river-play pants in half. I couldn’t come up with a better name, so shorts it was. The matching half-t-shirt was made the same way. If she wore them…? Yes. These were perfect.
I carried the shorts and cropped shirt back to her.
“Witch… Mama!”
She had already shed the robe and stood completely naked. Thankfully it was her back, so I didn’t see the front. Even so, my gaze dropped straight to her backside. Those firm, elastic curves. I had never seen an angry ass before.
“Look away. Unless you want your eyes carved out.”
She spoke without turning around.
“Sorry. I didn’t see anything. My eyes were closed. Here, take these.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. The world went black. All I could hear were her footsteps. Thud. Thud.
Please just spare me…
Luckily she only took the clothes from my hands. The footsteps retreated again. Thud. Thud.
“Phew…”
Rustling sounds told me she was dressing.
“You can open your eyes now.”
“Uh, yeah. Thanks.”
“These are comfortable.”
“Right?”
“You did well.”
She said it with an icy expression, so I couldn’t tell if she actually meant it. I had no idea what she was thinking. Still, seeing her in the cropped shirt and shorts left my mouth hanging open. The generous volume straining against the fabric. To think a woman like this was standing right in front of me.
When I first came to these mountains to start raising livestock, I had given up on ever being with a woman. No one would follow me to such a remote place. But choosing this life had been a stroke of genius. No princess could compare to the witch’s beauty. I wouldn’t even regret being devoured by her…!
“My hair’s still wet.”
“Oh, hold on.”
I searched for something to dry her with, but nothing suitable turned up.
“Ah. Witch, want to use that robe to wipe it for now?”
“With this?”
“Yeah. It’ll help dry it.”
She picked up the robe and began rubbing her hair in clumsy strokes. It looked like her first time. Well, it was my first time drying a woman’s hair too, but I figured I should help.
“Witch. Want me to dry it for you?”
“You?”
She sounded curt.
“Yeah. Just give me a chance. I’ll do a good job.”
“Hmph. Fine, try it.”
She pouted and handed me the robe. My hands trembled as I took it.
Swish. I spread the robe wide, folded it in half, and brought it to her long hair. Starting at the scalp. The moment I pressed it against her crown, she lifted an irritated eyebrow.
“What are you doing?”
“D-drying your hair.”
“Are you sure that’s what this is?”
“O-of course. You’ve just never had it done before.”
She still looked skeptical.
“It’ll feel good.”
I reassured her with words I knew she liked, then began. Thumbs pressing firmly, I started a scalp massage from the center of her crown.
“Mmm~”
Her eyes slid shut. I drew slow circles with my thumbs, working downward.
“Haaang~!”
Her eyelids fluttered wildly.
How’s that? Can’t keep your head straight, can you?
Riding the momentum, I pressed my thumbs against her temples.
“Mmmmmm~ Haaang!”
The witch twisted her whole body and parted her lips.
“Feels good, right?”
“I don’t know… but it’s not bad. Stop now.”
She averted her eyes, clearly embarrassed by how much she’d enjoyed the head massage. Both hands slipped between her thighs.
“It’s still cold.”
“I’ll get the moisture out right away!”
Her shyness secretly delighted me. This time I used the robe to press and absorb the water from her hair.
“Blow some wind to finish drying it.”
She didn’t seem satisfied. Wind, huh. I didn’t have any special powers like her, so what was I supposed to do…?
“Use that.”
She nodded toward the small wooden board I’d made to hold hot pots. I picked it up.
“This?”
“Yeah. Dry it with that.”
I held the board near her hair and waved it up and down.
“Like this?”
“More.”
“More?”
“Yeah. Raise it to level three.”
“Three?”
I didn’t know what that meant, but she clearly wanted it stronger. I put more power into my arms and shook harder.
It was more tiring than I expected.
“How long do I keep going?”
“Don’t talk. Just shake.”
“…”
“Level five.”
“Even harder…?”
“I said don’t talk. Use that breath to shake harder.”
“….”
I shook it with everything I had. My arms began to burn. This was no joke. The strong wind made her hair whip around wildly. She couldn’t possibly want me to keep going until every drop was gone… right?
“Level seven.”
“Oh for shiba’s sake…”
“What? What is shiba?”
“Huh? Ah…”
“What does shiba mean?”
“Ah… when humans really like something, they say shiba! Shiba shiba~!”
“Shiba? I learned a new word.”
Allen. Life is precious. Do not throw it away with a careless mouth.
I shook the board with even greater force. Veins bulged in my neck. My face felt ready to explode, glowing beet red. My arms had gone numb ages ago. At this rate I was going to lose them…
“Mm. That’s enough. This should do.”
“Thank you. I thought I was going to die.”
“I’m satisfied. You really are shiba!”
Hmm… I’d taught her something strange. But telling her the truth would be horrifying. She must never find out.
Still, I’d learned what the witch liked. Showers. Having her hair dried. Those two things made her happy. And one more discovery: when the witch was in a good mood, she became surprisingly affectionate.
“What’s your name?”
“Me?”
“Yes. Who else would I mean?”
“I’m Allen.”
“Allen. I’ll remember it.”
“Thank you.”
“Tomorrow I’ll catch a wild boar for you.”
“A wild boar…?”
“Yeah. You don’t want one?”
“Not want one? I’d love it.”
Offering to catch something for the witch was an incredible display of affection. She had even asked my name first. Another discovery: the witch always insisted on repaying kindness.
The rumors about her had been completely wrong. People said the witch was vicious. Well… she did seem a little vicious. They said she looked at human men like insects and killed them without hesitation. She did look at them like bugs, but she hadn’t killed me. They said she enjoyed slaughter. Offering to catch a boar might mean she did enjoy it. So… not entirely wrong?
No. The witch I’d seen was different from the one in the stories.
“I’m going to sleep now. Go downstairs.”
“Downstairs?”
“Yes. Get off my bed.”
“Can’t we sleep together…? There’s only one bed.”
“You can if you want to die.”
Hmm… maybe the rumors weren’t entirely off after all.
I gathered the pillow and headed down to the floor.
“What?”
The witch sounded surprised.
“Why, why? What did I do wrong this time?”
“Why are you taking that pillow?”
“Huh? It’s mine.”
“I decided it’s mine now. Put it back.”
“Since when?”
“Since yesterday.”
“Ah. Then of course it’s yours?”
“Obviously. I need to hug something to sleep.”
Her tone left no room for argument. The pillow that felt like mine but wasn’t but somehow was. I placed it back on the bed. The witch pulled it into her arms with both hands.
“Ah… you really do hug it.”
“Now turn your face away. I don’t want to look at you.”
The witch was selfish and wicked. Whoever started those rumors hadn’t gotten a single detail wrong. She was only an angel when she felt like it. Damn it.
Lying on the cold floor without a pillow, I cursed her viciously inside my head. I can’t sleep without a pillow. The floor is freezing.
“Allen.”
The witch called my name. See? She wasn’t that kind of person after all. She must be calling to give the pillow back. I’d cursed her without understanding her heart. Now I felt bad.
“Yes?!!”
“Turn off the light.”
“Oh? Uh…”
Shiba. You evil woman. You’re a devil.
I crawled pathetically across the floor and blew out the candle. Lying down again, I thought:
I hope you roll right off the bed in your sleep. Damn you.
“Allen.”
“Yeah?”
What now? Had she heard my inner thoughts? I’d only said it inside my head.
“Today was shiba.”
“Uh… yeah. Me too, shiba.”
Fuck. Just give me the damn pillow already.