The Old Man Crosses the Line

"You couldn't find Lilith?"

"Looks like she ran away."

The leader of the vanished vampires—Lilith. The vampire captain who had just died must have bought her time to escape. I already knew he was going to die.

"He knew he was going to die," I muttered in a low voice.

The dead captain's head stared with its eyes wide open.

"Since your boss ran off, you can close your eyes now."

I gently closed his eyelids.

"What are you doing?"

Serina, who was carrying Lucas in both arms, looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"It's just... pitiful. He gave his life for his leader. We should at least show some respect."

"Bullshit. What does that make me, the one who ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cut his head off?"

"You're our hero, obviously."

"Tch. All talk, as usual."

Serina turned away, clearly displeased with my behavior.

"He's right, Allen. Read the room. What about me? I almost got my holy relic ripped off."

"Sorry. But I came right away to save you, didn't I?"

"Serina was the one who saved you. Be good to Serina."

"I will."

"Just words?"

"No. With... other things too."

"O-other things?"

Lucas looked flustered. Serina cleared her throat.

"S-Serina, did I mishear that? Or am I misunderstanding?"

"Shut your mouth."

"Yes ma'am!"

Lucas bit his lip, barely holding back a grin. Serina's ears turned bright red as she walked on in silence.

Near the outer walls of the castle gate, knights came running after spotting Serina's light from afar. Hundreds of residents watched from atop the outer walls.

"M-My Lord! Are you alright?"

The knights carefully took Lucas from Serina. But they immediately pinched their noses. A foul stench wafted up. I had no idea how Serina had endured that smell.

"I'm fine. Put me down now."

"Yes, My Lord."

Lucas looked embarrassed and kept fiddling with his pants.

"We were so startled. We saw something like a star shining in the distance, but it was Serina..."

"Show more respect. Serina is the guardian deity who protects our village."

"Pardon? A guardian deity? You mean... a god?"

"You still doubt after seeing it with your own eyes?"

"N-no, My Lord! I do not doubt it! H-how dare I show my unworthy face to the guardian deity... Please, strike me down!"

The knights fell to their knees. Serina simply gave a small nod and walked past them.

"Lucas. You don't have to go that far."

"Ah... yes. Everyone, rise! Serina is uncomfortable!"

"Y-yes, of course!"

The knights quickly scrambled to their feet and stood at perfect attention. As we followed Serina through the castle gates, the residents burst into cheers.

When I didn't know her well, I hadn't noticed, but now it was clear Serina felt extremely awkward. That forced, haughty look in her eyes. As a witch, she had never lived among humans before, so their cheering felt completely foreign to her. Still, her mouth was honest. Those twitching lips were adorable.

In the meantime, Lucas gathered the residents and knights and made an announcement.

"—I approve!"

"I've never seen anyone so beautiful!"

"A temple for a god! What an honor!"

The reactions were all overwhelmingly positive. Serina looked burdened, but the residents' enthusiasm bordered on fanaticism.

"Wait...! Serina might not want that."

I stepped forward to mediate. Serina didn't need this kind of attention. If her true witch nature came out and she started chopping off heads... ugh, just thinking about it was terrifying.

"Ahem... Then I will discuss this matter with Serina first and make a decision later."

Lucas wrapped it up there and left. I returned to Nimeli's mansion with Serina.

"Hmph... That Lucas kid. Gathering people like it's nothing."

"I told him not to build a temple for you. That it would be a hassle."

"What? Why?"

When I said I'd stopped the temple construction, Serina looked visibly flustered. Her lips tightened slightly.

"Well, if he built it, people would swarm you all the time just to look at you."

"Look at me? Why?"

"Because you're beautiful."

"Hmph... I am quite beautiful, aren't I?"

"You are."

The moment she heard she was beautiful, her expression changed completely. The corners of her mouth lifted in delight.

"Then let me ask you one thing."

"What?"

"Just how beautiful am I?"

"Uh... if you ask 'how much,' I'm not sure what to say..."

"Hurry up. How beautiful am I?"

She kept pressing me before I could even think.

"I don't know exactly how much, but I'm certain that everyone who sees you will set Serina as the new standard of beauty."

"The standard of beauty... me?"

"Yes. Future generations will record it that way."

"Good. I like that. Then I suppose my face should be recorded for posterity?"

"Recorded... Hmm. How about a portrait?"

"Excellent. I permit you to have my portrait painted."

"I'll find a skilled artist."

Serina had even agreed to a portrait—something the old Serina would have flatly refused. It was unimaginable.

"Oh, right. Serina. I have a favor to ask."

"What favor?"

"Since I won the bet, I'd like you to learn how to cook."

"No. You learn."

"It was a bet. I want to eat the food you make."

"Why would you want that?"

"When humans get married, the wife cooks for her husband. I won't ask every day, but I'd like to eat something you made at least once."

"Hmph... So you're saying you want to get married, and that's why I should learn to cook?"

"Uh... yeah, I guess so?"

Love... Did I love her? I still wasn't sure. The thought of whether I could handle her came first.

"Fine. Then I'll learn right away."

"I'll talk to Sylvia. It'd be good to learn cooking from her, don't you think?"

"Yes. Perfect. Starting tomorrow, I will learn to cook."

The witch looked full of confidence. I was worried whether she'd actually manage it. Well, somehow it'd work out.

"By the way, Allen."

"Yeah?"

"I want to take a shower."

"A shower? I'll have to tell Nimeli."

"Hurry. I feel gross."

"Got it."

I immediately went upstairs to find Nimeli. He was reading a book.

"What are you doing, old man?"

"Allen. I was reading."

"Ah, how diligent. Nimeli, Serina wants to take a shower."

"Serina does?!"

Nimeli slammed his book shut and shot to his feet.

"Yes. She says she feels ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠dirty and wants water prepared."

"Understood. I must adjust the temperature myself."

"Is that really necessary? We have a butler, you know."

"Even so. If Serina is going to shower, I cannot leave it to others."

I had no idea Nimeli could be this passionate. I knew he was diligent, but not enough to roll up his sleeves like this.

"Serina!!"

"Yeah, old man."

"You wish to shower!"

"Yes. Prepare the water."

"I will prepare it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠personally! How could I entrust the bathwater for the noble Serina to mere underlings?!"

"Well, if you insist."

"Please wait a moment."

"Alright. Oh, and two people will be using it."

"T-two people? D-don't tell me... with me? It would be an honor, Serina."

"Have you gone senile? Or is it time for you to go? Should I send you off?"

"I-I'm sorry! I forgot my place. Then... who else...?"

"I'm showering with Allen."

Nimeli whipped around with his mouth hanging open and stared at me. His eyes scanned me up and down. He clearly couldn't believe it. Honestly, I didn't understand the situation either.

"M-me too?"

"Yes. You said you love me. I learned that for us witches, showering with the one we love is a great pleasure."

"Whoa... that's some fine education. Truly enlightened beings."

"T-this cannot be!"

"Why, old man?"

"Serina, this is absolutely unacceptable! Men and women are distinct. Showering together is impossible!"

"Why? What's the problem?"

"There is a problem!"

Nimeli suddenly raised his voice in anger. Why was the old man doing this to me? Why was he ruining everything?

"Among humans! An unmarried man and woman showering together violates the sanctity of chastity!"

"Chastity?"

"Yes! Human women are so noble and beautiful that they stake their lives on their chastity!"

"Hmph... Noble and beautiful... that does suit me. Now that I think about it, it makes sense."

Then Serina suddenly glared at me. You were the one who suggested showering together first.

"Moreover, for someone as beautiful and graceful as you to shower before marriage! Heaven would be outraged. The people would condemn it."

"Is it that serious?"

"Of course! It's outrageous! You must remember this! Chastity is life and death! And Allen has been chasing after girls' skirts since he was a child!"

"Old man, when did I—"

"I saw it clearly! How could you even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠consider marriage with such a perverted scoundrel!"

"Old man, why are you doing this to me?"

Serina looked at me with suspicious eyes. The moment Nimeli heard I was going to shower with Serina, he seemed to have lost his mind. He was even making things up that never happened...

"Hmph... I'll have to reconsider. Nimeli, just prepare water for me alone then."

"Serina! A wise decision! Very prudent!"

"S-Serina...!!"

I called out desperately, but it was useless. Serina turned away coldly, her eyes answering for her. Her gaze clearly saw me as a perverted, lecherous human.

"Nimeli... why are you doing this to me..."

"Ahem... I must go prepare the bathwater. Busy, so busy."

He definitely smiled as he passed by me. This old man has clearly gone senile... Damn geezer. Where did I put the sword in this mansion again...