Overcome Your Instincts
“Oh my, Doctor! You don’t have to do this…”
“No, ma’am, it’s the least I can do since you came all this way, and I’m sorry my condition held things up.”
“Aigoo, even so, you didn’t need to give me cab fare too.”
General’s owner had canceled the surgery after he’d played up his injuries as an excuse, and I’d slipped her two 50,000-won bills.
“It’s because I’m not feeling well—please take it.”
“Aigoo, you really didn’t have to.”
Despite her words, she pocketed the bills with the deft hands of a pro gambler.
But…
Was it really okay to send General home like this?
Even if I wasn’t doing the surgery, leaving him unaltered meant his balls wouldn’t stay intact for long.
There were plenty of pros across the country who could take his nuts in my stead.
Damn it.
General’s desperate cries about preserving his manhood still echoed in my ears.
I turned back to his owner.
“Ma’am, since you’re here anyway, let me at least clean out General’s earwax real quick. No charge.”
“Oh? He had earwax buildup? My husband said he cleaned them.”
“It’s not too bad, but since you’re here, it’s a good chance. Just give me a moment, ma’am.”
Dogs’ hearing is about four times more sensitive than humans’, picking up sounds from much farther away.
Sure enough, the moment I opened the door to the director’s office, General started showering me with thanks.
—Thank you, bro! I’ll never forget this favor!
“…Let’s talk first.”
I lifted the cage lid, and General went wild—spinning his tail like a propeller, leaping into my arms, rolling over for belly rubs, and licking my hands.
Before my hands got any sloppier, I scooped up the hyper pup and sat him straight.
Even though his ears looked spotless, as his owner had said, I’d insisted on the cleaning as an excuse to speak with him privately.
“Listen up, General. This is important.”
—Lay it on me, bro!
His eyes, which had eyed me moments ago like some nutcracker doll, now sparkled with the gratitude of a lifelong benefactor.
Seeing him panting with his tongue lolling out, thrilled to the bone, stirred something bittersweet in me.
I let out a soft sigh.
“General, why do you think people neuter dogs?”
—Huh? Outta nowhere?
“It’s important. Whether you get this or not decides if your balls live or die. Think carefully.”
His resolute words left General tilting his head, looking a bit dazed.
Soon enough, he averted his gaze and mumbled a half-hearted answer, like it was a hassle.
“’Cause TV’s always yapping that neutering makes you live longer?”
General was a prime specimen of manhood.
I’d called him in to help because he’d thrown such a fit over his identity.
But now he was grinning dopily at the Pomeranian on the office brochure cover. I suddenly wanted to smash that nutcracker fantasy right out of him.
“General, snap out of it. You’re a stud.”
—Oh, right?
One mention of “stud,” and his eyes snapped back to me. Loyal to his instincts in every way.
“I lied about the ear cleaning and dragged you in here because you could end up in today’s mess again anytime.”
What was I even saying to a dog right in front of me?
Even as I spoke, the mounting regret damage piled up. I sighed softly and pressed on.
—Wh-what danger?
“That’s why I said listen, man.”
—Yes, sir…
My slightly raised voice drooped his helicopter tail straight down.
“People neuter for medical prevention, sure. But that’s mostly for females. For males, it’s behavioral prevention.”
—Behavioral what now?
General, who’d treated me like a savior moments ago, was already bored, scratching his ear with a hind paw.
Not a speck of wax, and here he was scraping away right in front of me.
I tamped down a surge of Confucian urge to scold and continued.
“Yeah, behavioral prevention.”
I kept my cool despite his attitude partly because, as he’d said, we shared the burdens of manhood.
But also because a scene from the legendary drama Wild Times flashed in my mind.
“Marking, mounting, territorial claims—people want to prevent that stuff.”
General froze mid-scratch and looked up at me in shock.
—But that’s instinct, bro!
I crossed my arms and nodded at his head-tilt.
“I know—I’m a vet. But living with humans? No choice.”
Flip through any canine behavior book, and the top cause of pet dog issues is surprisingly simple: what’s natural for dogs is a problem for people.
In Korea especially, unlike abroad, male neutering rates are sky-high—maybe remnants of deep-rooted Confucianism.
“You mount the cushions, your owner, even Dad, no discrimination.”
—Well… it feels good?
He trailed off, avoiding my eyes.
I sighed and stroked his back where he sat on my lap.
“I get it’s animal instinct. But you wanna keep your balls, right?”
—Hell yeah, bro!
“Humans and animals—we’re all the same. Overcoming instinct? That’s what makes a real man.”
General’s eyes widened in awe.
—Overcome… instinct?
“Exactly. Beat your instincts, and your balls are safe.”
I lifted him from my lap to the desk and continued gravely.
“Might seem unfair to you. Humans do whatever, but you can’t bark freely, lift your leg, or mount. Right?”
—Yeah! Why do humans get to?
“Listen close, General. Humans have those urges too. They just hold back.”
—For real? Humans too?
His floppy ears perked up in surprise. I nodded, arms crossed.
“They say booze brings out true nature. You’ve seen drunks dropping trou in the street to mark or howling at the moon, right?”
—Oh yeah! Dad came home tipsy once and gave Mom the hot knuckle… didn’t last long, though.
“Stop. I’m not done.”
—Yes, bro.
Unwanted TMI.
If General’s dad ever showed up here, I wouldn’t be able to face him.
I cleared my throat with a fist to my mouth.
“Anyway. Point is, humans suppress instincts daily. If you, their pet, let loose? Disaster.”
—Well…
Bichon brain or just General? Either way, he was taking forever to respond—not the sharpest tool.
I cut in before he finished.
“Humans covet what they can’t have. Even your house’s mister… you know.”
—Ah… yeah. Dad’s… yeah.
We nodded in sync, picturing his neutered father.
“I’ll tell your mom to walk you once a day, rain or shine. Save marking and barking for then.”
—What about humping? That’s the big one!
Damn, he was sharper than he looked.
“…Mounting. Crucial. But to humans—Koreans especially—it’s public enemy number one in dog behavior.”
—I can’t help it! Life without life’s little joys…
I held a finger to my lips, and he shut up.
Two years with humans, or maybe my new power—he got basic body language.
“I’ll give your mom a mochi cushion later. Super soft. No more explanation needed, right?”
—Oh! Hump just that cushion…
His eyes gleamed like he’d seen Judge Bao in action. I nodded.
“Remember: mounting’s intimate, for lovers. Do it at home where no one sees.”
He grumbled low, tongue clicking.
—Bro, with my family? They’re always “General~” this, “General~” that. No alone time, even sleeping.
“You still sleep with Mom?”
—Nah, but I gotta sleep sometime.
Valid point on sleep, but annoying anyway.
“You said you have your own spot at home?”
—Yes, bro.
“Ten minutes a day. I’ll tell her to give you ten alone. Hump then.”
—Make it twenty, bro. I ain’t like Dad.
“……”
Chin up defiantly.
I stuffed him back in the carrier and explained the deal to Mom.
Hope you hold the line.
After seeing General and his mom off,
I headed to the inpatient ward.
Long talk, but I wanted one last check.
“Whew.”
Short deep breath, then into the ward with only animal patients.
—Hey, it’s the director!
—Change my food, please. Tastes like crap.
—You okay, Director? Heard you got hurt bad.
Their words rang clear as any human’s the moment I entered.
Was this real? Was I losing it?
My heart pounded like it’d burst at the thought of hearing animals.
Then, a faint mew from somewhere.
—Thirsty. Water’s gone.
From Seolgi’s cage, the white cat.
Human field of view: about 180 degrees.
Her voice came from outside mine—and if I could really hear animals, her water should be empty.
I opened her cage door and checked the bowl.
I knew for sure.
“No… water?”
—Told you. No water. Huh? Director, you hear cats?
I wasn’t crazy.
God’s prank or whatever—I didn’t know.
One fact: I could hear animals.
“Haha. Hahaha.”
They chimed in as I shook with laughter.
—Must’ve hit his head hard.
—Creepy…
—Don’t make eye contact.
But I couldn’t stop.
I’d thought my life was a bit different, but animal voices?
Absurd. Unbelievable.
Shoulders shaking nonstop at this unforeseen change, the ward door opened. Kim Mi-so entered with a water bowl.
“Oh? Director, you’re here.”
“Yeah, just checking something. For Seolgi’s water?”
“Saw it empty earlier. Oh, right—the thing I couldn’t tell you with General’s mom here.”
“Yeah, some interview request?”
Mi-so swapped Seolgi’s bowl quick and turned to me.
“Yes, an interview offer came in.”
“Interview?”