If You Don't Want Your Peanuts Peeled
Ears buzzing.
As awareness dawned that someone's voice was echoing around me, my consciousness sharpened bit by bit, and my hazy vision grew clear.
"…Are you awake? Young master? Coming to?"
The ceiling of a sleek, spotless hospitalization room—like something out of a luxury hotel—and the familiar form of address.
It didn't take long to grasp where I was or whose voice it was once my sight cleared fully.
A middle-aged woman fidgeted anxiously into view as I finally pried my eyes open.
I forced a smile to reassure her and propped myself up in the hospital bed.
"Auntie… been a while."
"Oh my goodness? Young master, what on earth are you doing? Lie back down!"
Auntie tried to ease me back, but I shook my head and waved off her help.
She wiped at her misty eyes and raised her voice.
"I get that you love animals, but jumping into the Han River to save one? Who in the world does that? It's all over the news!"
"Ah. It just… happened."
"What did you say?"
Just as Auntie was gearing up a gradient of fury at my words, a sudden thought struck me.
"Auntie. What about the dog?"
"Pardon?"
"The puppy that fell in the water. White fur."
"Who should be worrying about whom right now… Sigh."
Auntie cradled her face in both hands and let out a deep breath.
"Thanks to you, young master, that Jindo mix or whatever got rescued. Worry about yourself! They said you were out cold for a whole week."
A week?
Felt like I'd just dozed off for a bit, but a whole week had passed.
My body felt fine, no reason to lie here idle.
With no full vets on staff at the animal clinic, if even I—the director—took time off, all treatments ground to a halt.
"Count your blessings your ancestors were watching over you. Falling from the Han River Bridge and walking away with just bruises? A miracle, pure miracle! The news even said… Oh my?! What are you doing now?"
My body ached a little, sure, but just bruises? Better shape than expected.
Except for the gnawing hunger in my gut… no, outright starvation.
More than that, if it's on the news… home must be in an uproar.
I yanked out the IV line from my vein and sat up fully. Auntie looked horrified.
"Young master!"
"Gotta get back to work. Help me with this catheter, or are you just gonna stand there?"
Auntie jumped, then scurried me into the bathroom and shut the door—but her shrill voice still rang out.
"Where do you think you're going? The eldest young master and the director were so worried. I'll call the director right now…"
"Sorry, Auntie. Heading out first."
"Young master! Young master!"
Her shouts trailed me, but I swiftly removed the catheter, grabbed my stuff from the closet, and bolted for the elevator.
And as if on cue, the doors slid open.
"Did you hear? The director's second son isn't really his biological… Eek!"
"H-he's awake?"
Two nurses inside stared at me like I'd risen from the grave.
Not the first time. No big reaction from me.
"Getting out or not? I'm getting in."
"Ah… yes."
"……."
The gossiping nurses bowed their heads like criminals and slunk out.
As the doors nearly closed.
"Excuse me, nurses."
I hit the open button.
They turned, faces drained of color. I flashed a grin.
"VIP room protocol is to make patients as comfortable as possible, right? Thanks to you two, I'm feeling anything but."
"S-sorry."
"We're truly sorry."
Chattering away earlier, now begging forgiveness with bowed heads.
Even knowing words can't be unsaid.
"Beyond medical law's confidentiality on disclosures, there are clauses on protecting patient privacy you two, as nurses, surely know. …I'll make sure to tell Father."
"W-we're really sorry. We won't make that mistake again…"
"I was just listening…"
I mashed the close button before their pale faces could finish.
No real intention of tattling to Father.
We're not close enough for that.
Besides, Auntie—lurking behind like the grim reaper, witnessing it all—would handle it herself.
That's why animals are better.
Rode the elevator to the first floor and snagged a waiting taxi.
"Hanmaum Animal Hospital, please."
Wanted to check the situation, but my smartphone was dead.
Couldn't learn a thing about the rescued pup or the lunatic who'd dumped it in the river.
How long had it been, eyes closed in thought, when the taxi halted.
"Here you are. Hey, aren't you…?"
Like Auntie said, if I'd really made the news, the driver lit up recognizing me.
I shoved two ten-thousand-won bills at him and hopped out.
"Keep the change."
Maybe the minor bruises, but nothing hurt bad. Still, no mood for chit-chat with strangers.
Yet an A4 sheet was taped to the clinic's automatic doors.
It read…
"…Closed?"
A small animal hospital without a single full vet.
Me gone meant shutting down—not unusual.
But since opening with the bank's help.
Hanmaum Animal Hospital's doors, never closed a single day, now shut—stirred something odd in me.
Then, quick footsteps from inside; someone flung the door open.
"Director?!"
Eyes wide in shock, it was Kim Mi-so, Hanmaum's sole employee.
Qualified animal health technician and pet groomer—talented all around.
"Mi-so-ssi, you're here. But the door's closed?"
Kim Mi-so, always greeting patients and owners with her bright smile like her name, now looked worried instead.
"Heard you were in a coma. Just managing the inpatients. Contacted guardians, rescheduled appointments, redirected emergencies elsewhere. But… are you really okay? The news said…"
I peeled off the closure notice from the glass door, ignoring her breathless stream.
Stepped inside.
"I'm fine. Just bruises, they said. Prep to open, please. Nothing else besides the closure?"
"No, nothing. Ah! Someone looking for you…"
Before Kim Mi-so could finish, someone entered carrying a carrier.
"Oh my, Director! Saw you on the news. Rescued a dog and fell into the Han? Feeling better?"
Why did everyone bring up the news upon seeing me?
As I opened my mouth to reply to the elderly regular—Bichon's guardian.
"Hello, ma'am. General's looking well."
"Hello, Doctor."
Kim Mi-so popped in front of me with a beaming smile.
"Sorry, what to do? Director just discharged—treatments today might be tough."
"Oh, really? It's General's neuter day."
"Tried calling, texted too—must've missed it."
"Oh, did you? Came without food or water… General needs to be like Daddy…"
Her overshare threw me for a loop, but I refocused.
Neuter day: fasting six hours pre-op, no water one to two.
And General's mom lived three hours round-trip.
Couldn't turn away a guardian who'd trekked far for surgery over my issues.
"I'm good. Neuters are quick—let's do it. Mi-so-ssi, prep the OR. Ma'am, wait with General a moment."
Kim Mi-so sidled up, face full of concern, whispering.
"Director… aren't you pushing too hard? Right after discharge…"
"Fine. Won't take long."
What wasn't fine was my wallet.
Week-long hospitalization meant zero income.
Had to hustle like an ox or risk rent—no, Mi-so's salary first.
—Won't take long—your peanuts first!
Spot on.
Females under ten minutes, males five… no.
Who's that?
Only me, Kim Mi-so, and General's guardian here.
Yet a heavy male voice rang in my ears—from whom?
Before shock could settle, the mystery voice echoed like a hallucination.
—Neutering? Castration ain't neutering! You do it? You got snipped?
"General must be cranky from no food. Why's he barking so much today?"
Guardian's words drew my gaze to the carrier.
"No way…"
—No way what? You snipped? Your nuts intact, why mine? No, Doc! I did wrong. Really don't wanna lose 'em. Haven't even used 'em proper!
Precisely: the Bichon's whines registered as human speech to me.
Like dubbed foreign film?
Unbelievable scene unfolding before my eyes.
Wasn't… a dream?
Impossible.
Dogs talking.
Dream from drowning.
No—that "dream" moment resurfaced, freezing me stiff.
General's desperate plea to save his nuts rang undeniable, crystal clear.
Seeing my state, his mom asked cautiously.
"Um… you okay? If you're not feeling well…"
Not okay—insane.
Animals talking.
Goosebumps choked my words.
Had to confirm.
I wasn't crazy.
"I'm fine. Give me General. Just a pre-op check."
—No surgery! Doc! Don't wanna lose my nuts. Please!
General wailed desperately, but I took the carrier and headed to my office.
"No way. Impossible."
Inside, set the carrier on the desk—heart pounding like post-marathon.
—Doc. Sniffle… please… Impossible things happen to me too! Can't just slap nuts on and off! I'm begging. Please!
His voice persisted.
Clutched my head, slapped my cheeks—still, his pleas continued.
—Look, straight talk. You're a guy too, Doc! Can you strut as male post-snip? Can't lift a leg proud anywhere. Touch my nuts, start with yours…
"Enough. Got it—shut up."
—Good you get—huh? What? You understood me?
Now General was stunned.
Like I heard animals, he seemed shocked conversing with a human—wet nose twitching through carrier holes, eyes gleaming.
—Crazy. Human getting dog talk… No! Doc! Bro! Really hate nut surgery! Even if less disease, longer life—what's it matter? You're a guy too!
Worse: General wouldn't shut up.
One reason I preferred animals over humans: no patient voices.
Now gone.
—Bro! Haven't even tried 'em proper! Just getting close with Ari sis! She said come for kibble next!!
Bichon two years—human mid-twenties.
Full of vigor, ignored my pleas for quiet.
"Calm down first and be quiet…"
—Wow, how's a human get it? While we're at it, tell Mom change kibble? Salmon flavor? More walks too…
"Quiet. Or your peanuts get peeled."
—Gasp?
I'm pretty rational.
Dunno how, but animals' voices clear as day.
At my icy words, General's cotton-candy fur shivered.
Like my churning heart.
"Wait here. Gotta talk to Mom."
Talking to a dog.
What the hell was this?