Chapter 68
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 68
Chapter Title: Emptiness Syndrome -2
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"Dae~~han Minguk!!"
With the crowd's cheers, the referee blew the whistle. The Chinese player preparing for kickoff immediately passed the ball to the midfielder, but the midfielder failed to touch it, and it slowly rolled all the way to the center back.
"Wow... fuck, my chest is swelling up."
I shook my head as I watched.
I could probably do better than that even with my eyes closed.
Eh...? Should I try it?
Once I'd made up my mind, I immediately closed my eyes and began expanding my senses. The roars of the packed World Cup stadium crowd filled my ears, disorienting me.
"Dae~han Minguk!"
"Oppa... you just checked out another girl, didn't you?"
"...You were staring at Jesus hyung too."
"That's the same thing?"
"..."
"Wow... are the Chinese players for real?"
I tuned out the distracting crowd noise. Now, only the sounds from the pitch reached my ears.
"Jesus hyung! Catch!"
In that brief moment, the Armed Rebel senior neutralized the Chinese attack, and I heard the ball being passed to me.
Thwack-
Even with my eyes closed, I could sense exactly where the ball was coming. I lifted my foot and trapped it cleanly.
Then I shook off the approaching Chinese player.
"Hyung-! Pass!"
A pass to the infiltrating Korean player!
Thwack-!
Crack-!
Huh? What was that?
Cautiously opening my eyes at the sound of something shattering, I saw a Chinese player clutching his precious parts and shedding tears.
"Hngh- Hic- Guh-"
The moment I saw the Chinese player drooling tears, snot, and spit without even being able to speak properly, I pieced it together. I urgently called the ref and waved for the Chinese bench to send in medical staff.
"Ref! Ref!"
The ref halted play, and medical personnel rushed in from the Chinese bench.
The scoreboard replayed the moment.
As I controlled the ball and prepared to pass, the Chinese player had lifted his leg desperately to block the path. Unfortunately, the ball headed right there.
What? No problem at all.
I got scared thinking it was a red card.
Relieved it wasn't a red, I grinned broadly. Then my face appeared on the big screen.
The Seoul World Cup Stadium, filled with cheers, fell into stunned silence.
Title: Jesus Joo is not human.
Fuck. Let me say it upfront. I'm not Joseon-jok or Chinese. If anything, I'm a typical Korean who hates Chinese people and chants "Die China" everywhere.
(Jesus Joo kicking a Chinese player's balls with a soccer ball and laughing .gif)
Even so, as one fellow male, I was utterly shocked by that scene. This fucker Jesus Joo has zero basic human empathy.
(Jesus Joo photoshopped onto God .jpg)
(Jesus Joo 38-39 season stats: 21 games, 43 goals, 5 assists .jpg)
(Jesus Joo 39-40 season stats: 24 games, 34 goals, 13 assists .jpg)
That's right. He's not human.
He's the god of soccer.
That's why he has no human emotions!
So hitting the balls was divine punishment?
(Shocked! Corn)
This fucker's got so much bad karma, he'll be washed up soon. I saw the future.
Worried though. His stats are down compared to last season
... It's not dropping stats. His performance depends on how many suspensions he gets ;;;
As a suspension-type striker, he flies after returning from bans lol
Lmao who coined "suspension-type striker"? Perfect fit
Jesus hyung said it himself on the community boards lol
What a madman
5th minute of the first half.
Accounting for the stoppage, barely a minute had passed when the Armed Rebel went down to a rough Shaolin soccer-style tackle from China.
"Jin-su hyung!"
"You fucking bastard!"
Excited Korean players rushed in, sparking a bench-clearing brawl in seconds. As the ref blew the whistle to calm everyone, I slyly approached the nameless Chinese player puffing out his chest and landed a zero-inch punch to his solar plexus.
"Pfft- Ack-! Fucker!"
The player named Whatever clutched his solar plexus and toppled forward.
Even with another one down on the pitch, no one paid attention.
Time passed, the commotion settled, and the ref spotted the fallen Chinese player. After communicating with the VAR room to understand the situation, the ref—told there was nothing wrong—verbally warned the player to stop the Hollywood acting.
"Look here, it hit me right here!"
Frustrated by the ref's words, the Chinese player stripped off his jersey to show the spot. But the area he pointed to was spotless, without a mark.
The ref examined it closely, sighed, gave the shirtless Chinese player a yellow card, and warned him again.
"It's fine, so quit faking."
"No! Fuck! This is bullshit!!"
I nodded as the Chinese player tearfully protested his innocence.
A technique that inflicts pain without leaving marks. That's the Jesus-style martial art I've honed.
By the way, this Jin-su guy really lives up to the Armed Rebel name—he shook off the Shaolin soccer and returned to the pitch unscathed.
[Ah... do the players even know this is a friendly? The game's getting really rough.]
[Big trouble. Republic of Korea! Jesus Joo is down on the pitch.]
[Early in the game, Lu Xun—who took a hit to the jewels from Jesus Joo—gets a yellow. Suspicion of retaliation, but ref gives just yellow for friendly.]
[Jesus Joo covering his pained face... and laughing... yes...]
[Uh... games where Jesus Joo goes down laughing from a foul have seen a lot happen. Praying it passes safely this time.]
I grabbed the arm of Ko Seok-jun, the left winger for this match, and helped him up.
"You okay?"
"Heh- Yeah, fouls really hit different. Feels fresh every time!"
His face flinched when I grabbed his hand with a smile. Why does everyone flinch when I smile?
Yu-na thinks it's cute. Guess she's the only one for me.
Play resumed with a free kick, and naturally, it was mine.
"Want me to fake once?"
"Dude, with you and me standing here, they'll think I'm shooting anyway, not you."
"...You asshole."
Ko Seok-jun, lips pursed after getting smacked with facts, headed to the penalty area. As he casually took position, the ref whistled.
I spotted the tense Chinese national team keeper. Chinese keepers always awaken dramatically once selected, thanks to their team getting pummeled so often.
Not sure about footwork, but pure shot-stopping? Probably better than our nameless senior keeper.
Speaking of which, need to scout a keeper prospect too...
Fuck, no matter how many holes I plug, more keep appearing.
Like pouring water into a leaky jar?
A smug rage bubbled up from deep inside.
How much more do I have to do?!
I channeled that fury into the ball and smashed it hard.
Thwang-!
Clang-!
The powerful shot that cleared my chest slammed the post and ricocheted over the line. The stunned World Cup stadium erupted in thunderous cheers.
"...W-W-Woahhhhhhh!!"
As Korean players rushed toward me, I yelled.
"Fuck! Get the ball! Satisfied with just one goal?!"
Hearing me, Ko Seok-jun sprinted to fetch the ball from the net and raced to the center circle. I jogged back, lightly pointing both hands to the sky.
Fuck the world. No matter how much you curse me, I'll break the jinx this round.
And soon after, as Ko Seok-jun—who'd later transfer to Dortmund and carry on Korea's winger legacy—went down to a rough Chinese tackle, I apologized to the world.
Sorry. Please no more bad luck...
Title: Live Jesus hyung moments that are pure badass.
(Jesus Joo yelling "Get the bread!" at teammates rushing for celebration .jpg)
It's that raw energy, cursing freely without regard for rank.
Wow... so cool.
Frankly, Korea needs a hyung like this who doesn't give a shit about senior-junior hierarchy.
I liked Jesus Joo for doing good deeds... but no manners.
Orphan get family education? ^^ We should understand.
Bringing up someone's tragic past? You seem like an orphan too...
Why so many hate comments on Jesus hyung lately?
20-something earning 1.5 billion weekly? Lots of jealous folks.
World full of idiots lol
Screenshot hates and report to jesusjoo hate report center.com. 5 reports = chicken giftcon. Sweet deal lol
Ah, was gonna hog the honey but you shared it.
After my goal, I could clearly see the Chinese players shrink back. Just possessing the ball made them flinch and swarm 2-3 at a time, drawing laughs.
I'll beat them mercilessly for the next 10 years until they piss themselves at the sight of a Korean kit.
"Jesus hyung!"
The utility man I'd recommended, prospect Kim Dong-jun, sprinted into the space created by my marker clinging to me.
Thud-
Surrounded by my marker, I calmly used a heel pass with my sole to send the ball into the space where Dong-jun was running. With a solid first touch and quick feet, he reached the penalty area in a flash—then inexplicably chipped it back.
"Fuck! Why not shoot?!"
"No angle though?!"
Fuming at Dong-jun's words, I signaled for a pass from the Armed Rebel.
"Jin-su hyung! Ball!"
"Yes! Jesus hyung!"
"Watch close, kid! Even without angle! Hup-!"
Thwack-!
I shrugged off the sloppy-tackling defensive midfielder and smashed it with my right foot. The ball whistled past the Chinese center back's face and tore the net.
Shred-!
"Shoot first! It goes in once you shoot!"
Fuck. What's with that "now I get it" face? You a striker?
Oh... right, you're a fullback.
Utilike fucked up putting a fullback in Ko Seok-jun's spot.