Chapter 65
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 65
Chapter Title: Press Conference
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[Manchester City Pep Guardiola Technical Director: "We will definitely sign Jesus Joo."]
[Barcelona Piqué Chairman: "We are ready to welcome Jesus Joo."]
[Liverpool Jürgen Klopp Technical Director speaks on Jesus transfer rumors: "He's a fantastic player. We're planning to jump into the bidding."]
[Chelsea Supporters Blues woo Jesus: "We Love Samsung!"]
[Manchester United: "Negotiations are progressing positively."]
[Madridistas protest amid El Clásico transfer rumors for Jesus: "Patricia Out! Laporta Out, please! Bring Jesus back!"]
[Perplexed Jesus stands next to burning trash can: "Huh? I'm right here?"]
Puta! Madre, you shitty reporter bastard. I'll kill you just like you wished—get out to the Manzanares River right now.
Oh. Looks like one corpse will float up in the Manzanares River tomorrow.
Three corpses. Patricia Casillas, Alfonso Laporta, and this reporter.
Alfonso Laporta, the Barcelona chairman reading the articles, struggled to speak to his lover, Patricia Casillas.
"We tried manipulating public opinion to divert the arrows of criticism, but it's not easy. To think the stature of a guy who's only played a single year is this high... Looks like we'll have to deploy the yellow pest for this El Clásico."
Patricia Casillas wore a sullen expression but reluctantly nodded at the chairman's words.
The moment Patricia nodded, they began kissing, the two of them burning with passion. A man watched intently as they smiled and disappeared into the hotel.
I was spending my unexpectedly extended second-team stint leisurely. Even Luis García and Luka Savić, who had initially been anxious and pushing for transfers, relaxed and took their rest in the second team now that the manager's results had tanked.
"¡Vamos!! See that? That's my golf swing!"
"...Idiot. Hitting it far doesn't mean it's good."
"...? Isn't it a home run?"
"Home runs are baseball, you moron."
"Jesus Joo is right. Luis García is a moron."
The four high-salary slackers (Roberto Fabian ski, Luis García, Luka Savić, Jesus Joo) in the second-team training ground were leisurely playing golf and pocketing their wages.
"Hey, what's this?"
[Real Madrid. Patricia Manager: "We will deploy full strength in the next match."]
[Ahead of League Round 25 vs. Barcelona, Patricia Casillas hints at Jesus Joo's starting return.]
They confirmed through the news that they were in the starting lineup.
"Whoa... That crazy bitch is something else. She gives release notices unilaterally over the phone, and we hear about starting lineups through the news."
I let Luis García's mutter go in one ear and out the other.
A month off is plenty of rest. I'm bored of lounging now. Time to head back to the first team.
[Luis García learns of return via news: "Manager Patricia seems unaware of respect and etiquette."]
[Woman claiming to be Patricia Casillas's acquaintance: "Patricia grew up poor as a child and lacked proper home education."]
[Viewers across the nation. Finally, in today's El Clásico against Barcelona, Jesus Joo starts for the first time in a month.]
[Huge crowds already filling Santiago Bernabéu.]
[Definitely the heat of El Clásico. Real Madrid home fans are fired up.]
Hot because it's El Clásico? Lol.
Revolution's just around the corner.
"¡Hala Jesus!!"
"Jesus! Please bring us victory!"
[Oh! Jesus Joo appears on screen. Massive cheers from the home crowd.]
[Can Jesus Joo break Real Madrid's losing streak? We'll join you shortly.]
30th minute
Real Madrid 0 : 0 Barcelona
Returning to the pitch after a month, everything felt new. The white fireworks blazing in the corner of Santiago Bernabéu—ones that hadn't gone off even during last season's Champions League triumph—were a surprise. And the wrecked form of the Real Madrid players was astonishing too.
How the hell do you turn a team into this mess in just one month?
As I marveled at the trashed performance, Ter Stegen—the only one earning his keep for Real Madrid—blocked a Barcelona attack.
"Jesus!"
The immediate Real Madrid counter. Luis García passed to Iker Bravo on the flank. As Iker Bravo held the ball and dragged defenders, space opened up... but Fernando Santos didn't infiltrate it.
"What the fuck is that moron doing?!"
Seeing Patrash smile in satisfaction at Santos not overlapping let me pinpoint her as the cause.
"Iker!"
With no choice, I dropped into the space with the marker and received Iker Bravo's pass. In an instant, I was surrounded by Barcelona's defense.
Dodging incoming tackles, I threaded a pass through a Barcelona player's legs to the penetrating Iker Bravo. Iker Bravo lofted a cross straight to Roberto Fabiánski's head.
Thwack—!
Roberto Fabiánski's header grazed the bar and bounced out precariously.
"Hup—!"
I sprinted full-tilt into the penalty area and slammed it home for the opener.
"¡Vamos!!"
After scoring, I led the charging Real Madrid players straight to Patrash, gifting her the finger and a barrage of curses.
"Puta madre! Even Johan would coach better than you, you double bitch."
Fuck. If she were a guy, it'd be a kung fu kick on the spot.
My cursing at Patrash was broadcast live on the jumbotron. Applause echoed through Santiago Bernabéu.
Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap! Clap-clap-clap!
Whoa. Is this applause for real?
You guys were holding it in too, huh.
Moved by my actions, one Madridista stood, tears streaming, and shouted.
"Patricia! Get out of Real Madrid with Laporta!"
So the manager's name was Patricia.
Well, no one's name is actually "bitch."
[Gooooal! Gooooal! Gooooal! That's it! Right there! Jesus Joo scores immediately upon starting in his first-team return! Unbelievable they benched a player like this.]
[Heartbreaking lost points for Real Madrid due to pointless power struggles.]
[A season that could have achieved the club's first-ever treble.]
[Oh... Jesus Joo runs to Manager Patricia for his celebration.]
[Santiago Bernabéu crowd loves it. Looks like Patricia's days are numbered.]
[Jesus Joo receives a red card from the referee.]
"Boooooooo—! You dog of a ref!"
"Did Patricia spread her legs for you too?!"
"¡Hostia!! Cancel the red card right now!"
[Angry Madridista jeers ring out. Feels like a riot could erupt. Madrid riot police deploying.]
Full time.
Real Madrid 2 : 0 Barcelona
Goals: Jesus Joo (30) Roberto Fabiánski (88)
Red cards: Jesus Joo (31) Roberto Fabiánski (89)
[Patricia Casillas: "This victory proves it. My tactics were flawless; past losses were due to players slacking."]
["He needed just one chance to score. Jesus Joo strikes in return match."]
[Madridistas cheer Jesus Joo's iconic bras d'honneur (arm of honor) after goal.]
[Two chances. Two goals. Two middle fingers.]
[Roberto Fabiánski follows Jesus Joo's lead with middle finger to manager.]
[Jesus Joo's viral middle finger gesture—what's it called abroad? Answer: bras d'honneur.]
[Barcelona captain voices discontent: "This Santiago Bernabéu match was the worst. We played in fear among white thugs who could turn riotous anytime."]
[Sunday exposes affair between Barcelona Chairman Alfonso Laporta and Patricia Casillas.]
[Shocking conversation between Alfonso Laporta and Patricia Casillas: Likens Los Blancos' top star to a yellow pest.]
Seeing the articles, I sensed the moment had arrived. I immediately summoned the press, and reporters swarmed in, sensing a scoop.
As the press room filled, I took the podium and began reading my prepared script without taking questions.
"Since the new chairman and manager took over, I've been caught in endless political games."
The reporters focused intently. Pretending to be swept in fury, I read each word deliberately.
"They persecuted me, likening me to a pest devouring Real Madrid."
Here, I shed tears.
"I'm not a politician—I'm a footballer. I just want to focus on soccer. I just wanted to play soccer on the pitch with the cheers of the Madridistas."
Pointing out the culprits.
"But since Laporta and Patricia arrived, life at Real Madrid, once so joyful, has lost its joy. Seizing power, they persecute me and those around me to force me out of the club."
Hinting I might leave.
"It's truly painful, but I may have to prepare for farewell. Though my time in Madrid has been short... this place has given me so much love it's like a hometown. The future is uncertain, but Los Blancos... thank you so much. And I love you."
With an expression like I couldn't bear to leave, tears dripping, I appealed once more.
"If I had to name the three most important things in my life, first would be family, second my homeland, and third Madrid. Once more, thank you, Los Blancos, for loving this flawed man. ¡Hala Madrid! Y nada más!"
I exited the press conference.