Chapter 60
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 60
Chapter Title: Supercopa de España
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Supercopa de España.
Real Madrid dominated Real Betis from start to finish. Possession ended at a staggering 83:17.
Iker Bravo whipped in a cross, and Roberto Fabianski got his head to it—but the ball was blocked by the Betis keeper's hands.
"Puta!"
Roberto Fabianski spat out a curse in frustration, chewing on his jersey. Then came Real Madrid's corner kick. The players jostled for position, trading barbs.
"Get the hell out of here, you bald bastard. You're blinding me!"
"Oh, you'd better take that back right now..."
"Puta! What the fuck are you saying, you bald skunk-breath prick!"
"They say in Jesus's homeland that mocking a bald man curses you with baldness too. Looks like your few remaining hairs are on their way out soon enough..."
"...Hey, you're full of shit, right?"
While Sergio Pepe had the Betis defender's head spinning, Luka Savić lofted the cross.
Pung-!
The keeper punched it clear, and the ball sailed out to Jesus Joo, who was loitering just outside the penalty area.
Jesus tracked the ball's flight all the way, then unleashed a calm volley.
Pung-!
The Betis keeper could only stare blankly as the ball rocketed past at blistering speed.
Chul-leong-!
The net rippled. Straight in.
"Vamos!!"
He sprinted toward the cheering Real Madrid away fans and busted out his signature celebration. The Madridistas roared back with their chant.
"Madrid, Madrid, Madrid, ¡Hala Madrid!"
"Y nada más, y nada más, ¡Hala Madrid!"
[Gooooooal-! Gooooooooal-! Jesus bags his 22nd goal in just his 13th league appearance!]
[If not for the suspension, he might've cracked 30 in the first half of the season.]
Jesus, who opened the scoring in the first half, coolly converted another chance right at the start of the second.
[Jesus! Jesus scores again! Unbelievable. Is there no way to stop him!? That's his 23rd league goal!]
[Oh! So composed. He spotted the keeper's position and chipped it calmly into the unreachable corner.]
After the goal, Jesus raised both hands in respect toward Betis—like he'd scored against his home team. Real Madrid's players shot him baffled looks.
"Hey, you celebrated your first goal!"
"That's not the point!"
"...If that's not the point, what is?"
"The little child inside me matters! The little child inside me is screaming to respect them!"
"Fucking lunatic. I should've kept my mouth shut."
Jesus ignored Luis García's lament and kept his hands raised in respect to the Betis fans.
The Béticos applauded and cheered him on.
"Jesus! You scored your two goals like you promised—now tell that bald king Valverde you're subbing off to rest!"
Jesus flashed a thumbs-up to the Béticos, chatted with Valverde, and at the 60-minute mark, he was substituted by Jesús González amid applause from the Betis home crowd.
Full time.
Real Madrid 3:1 Real Betis
Goals: Jesus (35', 50') Roberto Fabianski (76') | Joaquín (77')
[Real Betis manager Juan Verón: 'I get why Jesus is called the greatest talent in soccer history. There's emotion in his play.']
[Real Madrid manager Valverde: 'Good game.']
[Betis fans thank Jesus for honoring his promise: 'Jesus is a man of his word. He kept his promise to me and only scored twice. The only regret is we didn't win.']
[Jesus nods to reporter asking why he kept his promise to the fans: 'Because it was a promise.']
Kimchi Pirate Crew stats since Iker Bravo's awakening.
(Note: Iker Bravo's awakening was in league round 17 vs Almería, so stats from that game onward.)
Captain The God Kimchi Jesus Joo: 2 league games, 4 goals, 6 assists.
One-liner: Just a fucking madman. Is he even human?
No.1 Crew Leader Roberto Fabianski: 1 league game, 2 goals.
One-liner: Plays insanely well. But lacking compared to the other two.
No.2 Crew Leader Iker Bravo: 2 league games, 4 goals, 1 assist. 1 UCL game, 1 goal, 1 assist.
One-liner: About to chop off No.1's head soon.
Conclusion: Real Madrid soccer fucking sucks, goddamn it.
Jesus bro's stats are insane af;;
He's not human....
Lmao at Iker Bravo's one-liner
Iker D. Bravotić
Lol yeah right. It's just La Liga. Farming weak teams~ They'll get exposed as frauds against EPL teams in UCL, gtfo
Lmao the Arsenal you're sucking got wrecked by Jesus last season and missed UCL this season lol
Your mom's a cunt, fucker.
Instant praise ;;
The match against Real Betis wrapped up, and the winter break began. Our family had just returned from a trip to Colchester, so we decided to spend this break relaxing at home.
"Baa-!"
Little Yohan was now flipping over like a pro. Yu-na and I clapped and cheered.
"Agu agu, our Yohan's already flipping on his own like a champ!"
"And he's super cute, just like his mommy."
"What? He's handsome like his daddy, Jesus."
In the evening, we lounged on the sofa watching the Colchester United match—my team.
"Argh! How do you miss that?!"
And in the dead of night... we had a steamy session.
"Hahk-! Hahk-!"
"Haah-! Haah-! Ah... yes!"
That peaceful, cozy winter break flew by. And soccer resumed.
Match Results
League Round 19
Real Madrid 2:1 Getafe
Goals: Jesús González (30') Bruno Iglesias (PK 87') | Neil Taylor (67')
[Real Madrid sweat out a win over Getafe with heavy rotation ahead of Supercopa de España in 3 days.]
[Getafe's Eriksen laments late PK call: 'Wish the ref had checked VAR himself.']
Supercopa de España.
A tournament pitting La Liga's champion and runner-up against the Copa del Rey winner and runner-up.
Last season, Real Madrid finished 3rd in the league. But our friendly neighbors Atlético Madrid took 1st in La Liga and 2nd in Copa del Rey, leaving an extra ticket—which went to 3rd-place Real Madrid.
So here we were, facing Copa del Rey winners Athletic Club at King Abdullah Sports City Stadium in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.
"Athletic Bilbao, huh..."
Athletic Club—better known in Korea as Athletic Bilbao—is one hell of a unique club. They stick to a Basque-only policy, have never been relegated from the top flight alongside Real Madrid and Barcelona, and hail from the independence-craving Basque region like Catalonia—so naturally, they're no fans of Madrid.
"Jesus, first time facing the Athletic lads?"
"Yeah. Weirdly, they've timed their games perfectly for when I'm suspended."
Hence their other nickname: El Viejo Clásico. And the craziest part? Among La Liga Santander teams, they're one of the tiny few who haven't faced me yet—the suspended striker Jesus Joo.
They've dodged me so perfectly that Korean soccer forums call Athletic Bilbao "the team blessed by Inzaghi's protection."
"Won't be any different. Just smash these fucking Basque cunts like we did the Catalans! Vaaaaaa!!"
"Vaaaaa!!!!"
Sergio Pepe's regional rivalry-fueled battle cry got us roaring. We took our positions, the ref's whistle blew, Athletic Bilbao kicked off, and the match began.
Real Madrid corner kick.
As player transfers in the 21st century follow market and economic logic, the raw hostility in derbies has faded.
That's why this derby against Basque-pure Athletic Bilbao felt so refreshingly vicious.
A whole different vibe from Derbi Madrileño. Closer to El Clásico, but with its own edge.
"Bald retard fuck."
"Fuck off, Etarra. You lot are just ISIS wannabes."
It wasn't mere competitiveness—it was pure enmity.
And their hatred burned hottest for Madrid-born, lifelong Madridista Sergio Pepe.
That hatred boiled over into violence on the pitch.
Thwack-! Thwack-! Thwack-!
"Puta-! Madre!"
Sergio Pepe was surrounded and getting pummeled by Athletic Bilbao players. Our eyes met.
"Jesus-!"
Whoosh-
I ignored Sergio Pepe's desperate plea for rescue.
Kids grow up fighting.