Chapter 59
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 59
Chapter Title: Kimchi Pirate Crew
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Kimchi Pirate Crew.
The revived Iker Bravo put on another stellar performance in the next match.
League Round 18 against Real Valladolid. As soon as the whistle blew, Real Madrid started pounding Real Valladolid.
"Jesus Joo's pass to Iker Bravo! He doesn't hold the ball—he lays it off! Roberto Fabianski calmly finishes the laid-off ball!"
"Their chemistry is incredible. They move together organically, like a single unit."
Three minutes later. This time, Iker Bravo, receiving Jesus Joo's pass, scored himself.
"Goal! GOOOAL! Real Madrid scores again just three minutes after their first!"
"Once more, it all starts with Jesus Joo. He slotted a delicious pass into the space where Iker Bravo was breaking through."
"Man... that's basically a pass served on a platter!"
"Iker Bravo stayed cool and finished it perfectly."
"In the Real Madrid vs. Real Valladolid match, Real Madrid's starting trio—Iker Bravo, Jesus Joo, Roberto Fabianski—leads with devastating firepower from their triangular formation. They're up 2-0 just five minutes into the first half."
...
"That's the end of the match. Real Madrid! They rack up five goals in the first half for an easy victory!"
After the Real Valladolid match, the media flooded with articles about the revived Iker Bravo and the explosive firepower of Real Madrid's triangular formation.
Iker Bravo's Revival? Real Madrid's Triangular Formation Fires on All Cylinders. Overwhelming Firepower Sinks Real Valladolid.
Real Madrid Crushes Real Valladolid 5-0 with Iker Bravo-Jesus-Roberto Fabianski Triangle.
Iker Bravo's form, once revived, showed no signs of cooling off. This carried straight into the Champions League group stage Round 6 against Fenerbahçe.
"Iker Bravo nails the dagger goal!"
"Iker Bravo, who promised Manager Valverde he'd lead the young prospects in this match! He drives the nail in. With the score at 3-1, Fenerbahçe drops to the Europa League behind AS Roma!"
"What a player. His form dipped noticeably toward the end of last season. But since the last match, he changed his playstyle and emerged like a whole new player."
"In the previous game, instead of dribbling and finishing himself, he passed to Jesus Joo and freely adapted his role based on Joo's choices. This match, he's doing the things Jesus Joo would normally do—from Joo's position."
Beep— Beep— Beep!
"Champions League group stage Round 6: Real Madrid beats Fenerbahçe."
"Naturally, MVP goes to this man, Iker Bravo."
"Playmaking? Check. Goals? Check. A perfect performance reminiscent of Jesus Joo."
...
Iker Bravo's Glorious Revival. Real Madrid on a Rampage. Champions League Group Stage Round 6: 3-1 Over Fenerbahçe.
Iker Bravo on playstyle questions: "I've been dropped from the starting lineup a lot lately, so I've done a ton of thinking. Compared to my peak, my stamina's down, and that limited what I could do for the team... The answer came during the last international break while training with Jesus.
Honestly, before getting to the point, I have to say this: I was jealous of Jesus. His talent shone so brilliantly, and he seemed fully aware of it. So I harbored ugly jealousy. But spending time with him, I realized he's an incredible player with so much to learn from. In our first match together after he transferred to Madrid, his play baffled me. Honestly, I still don't fully get it... (abridged)
Anyway, the best I can do is make his play a bit freer and imitate him a little. The more I dissected his game, the more I understood why Roberto Fabianski praised Jesus so much."
(Iker Bravo's Jesus-praising interview)
Honestly, by veteran status, isn't he Number 1 Crew Leader?
What the hell kinda veteran metric are you using to crown leaders?
Number 1 is Roberto Fabianski. Got it?
Roberto Fabianski is the root of the Kimchi Pirate Crew.
Does Pedro Rodríguez make it as a Crew Leader too?
Eh, he's kinda iffy.
Hah. You idiots. I'll sort it out and post.
1. Captain of the Kimchi Pirate Crew: The God Kimchi. Jesus Joo.
2. Number 1 Crew Leader & Vice Captain. Zealot Roberto Fabianski.
("If I can play on the pitch with him, I wouldn't mind being the goalkeeper.")
3. Number 2 Crew Leader. Too Much Talker. Iker Bravo.
(The madman who praised Jesus bro for over five minutes in his MVP interview.)
4. Number 3 Crew Leader. Water-Type Pokémon Luka Savić.
(Luka Savić quietly praying whenever Jesus scores.)
5. Number 4 Crew Leader. Fire-Type Pokémon Luis García.
(Luis García, first to rush over when Jesus scores.)
Honestly, that's the lot.
Celebration breakers Vladimir Lazović and Sergio Pepe could fit, but their kimchi power (faith) is still too low for leader status.
No refutations. Deal with it.
P.S. Next leader candidates: Colchester United's La Fabregas trio.
(The prospect trio hugging Jesus's signed jersey like treasure.)
1 and 2's faith levels? Spot on.
Valverde a no-go?
He's the manager—even if, putting him under players feels off lol.
Same reason excludes President Nuñez.
If we treble this season, Jesus bro's status might dethrone the president.
Lmao player above president... absolute main character energy.
Including the Colchester next-gen candidates. Perfect.
The Real Madrid Kimchi Pirate Crew gathered in the clubhouse to watch the Champions League Round of 16 group draw.
"Whoa... why no Arsenal? Did they drop out?"
Luka Savić answered my question in his calm tone.
"They got smashed by you in the semis last Champs, their mentality broke, and they missed Champions League qualification."
"Ah... so that's why Man Utd's there. They took 4th instead of Arsenal for the spot. But why are those Man Utd bastards unseeded?"
"It's Man Utd."
Ah...
We huddled together, cracking open snacks and chatting, until it was Real Madrid's turn for the draw.
We eyed the remaining teams with relaxed expressions.
Sergio Pepe, back from the bathroom, asked,
"Who's left?"
Luka Savić answered like an automated bot.
"Seeded: Man City, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid. Unseeded: Man Utd, Barça, AS Roma. But Barça's same league as us, AS Roma same group, so exclude them. Leaves Man Utd. No need to draw."
Satisfied with the bot's performance, Sergio Pepe nodded with a smile.
"Man Utd? Nice. They suck at soccer. Huh? Wait, Barça were unseeded too?"
"Surprisingly, yes."
"Then who topped their group?"
"Ajax, apparently."
"Fucking idiots. Losing to Ajax of all teams."
Realizing something off as he spoke, Sergio Pepe cleared his throat quietly and changed the subject.
"Anyway, weak-ass Barça won't make quarters against City or Munich."
"Probably not. Draw's done anyway. I'm heading out first."
As I left the clubhouse, I thought,
Man Utd as opponents. Not bad.
Guess I should prep the Pied Piper of Hamelin celebration early.
Man Utd fans'll love it, right?
Pre-match.
League Round 19.
Real Madrid 0 : 0 Real Betis
Real Betis's home stadium, Estadio Benito Villamarín. The fans here welcomed me warmly as I appeared.
"Hey—! Jesus! Last time you treated me to beer, so this time I'll buy! Go easy!"
I spotted the uncle who'd cheered with me at Santiago Bernabéu last time and approached with a friendly greeting.
"¡Hola! Long time no see! How've you been?"
"Hahaha! Doing great. Oh, right! Congrats on the baby being born safe!"
"Gracias. Next time you're at Santiago Bernabéu, beer’s on me."
"Haha, more than beer, go easy on us today."
"Just two goals from me."
"Ooh. Then we score three and win. Gotta tell the manager: Let Jesus get two quick, then chase him off the pitch."
"Great idea. I'd love scoring without breaking a sweat. Ah, gotta warm up now. Great seeing you."
"Yeah, stay safe, no injuries, and don't forget to go easy!"
"Sí."
After chatting with the jolly Real Betis uncle,
I started warming up slowly.
Winter break after this match.
Don't really need one.
If I'm tired, just get suspended and rest, right...?