Chapter 49
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 49
Chapter Title: The Peninsula Lives Up to Its Reputation
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The peninsula was being the peninsula.
While I was suspended for the Osasuna match and busy with parenting, the first and second group stage games ended in easy victories for Madrid.
I could've played, but Coach Valverde told me to cherish my time with family and left me out of both squads.
If you ask whether this touched me deeply, honestly, I'm not sure.
To me, it looked like card management.
If the team's starting striker starts picking up cards from the group stage, it'd give the coach a real headache.
I proved my theory correct in the away game against AS Roma for the third group stage match, just two days after El Clásico.
AS Roma's keeper failed to handle Roberto Fabianski's powerful mid-range shot properly. I was loitering in the penalty box, eyeing the rebound, and snatched it the moment I spotted the chance, slotting it into the opposite corner past the keeper.
Thud-!
Splash-!
The moment I scored, just as I was about to taunt the AS Roma fans who'd been booing me since kickoff with a provocative celebration...
"Puta! Vladi! Stop Jesus!"
Amid the coach's desperate scream, as I turned back toward the Roma crowd, I got grabbed by Vladimir Lazović's thick arm.
Ah... no! My celebration! The Totti celebration I prepared! The selfie celebration with the fiery Roma fans!
In the end, that day, I was captured by celebration breaker Vladimir Lazović and couldn't show the Roma crowd the ceremony I'd envisioned.
Real Madrid 2 : 0 AS Roma
Goals: Jesus Joo (5', 30')
After the game, I checked my smartphone in the locker room and found a message from Mother Director.
-Mother Director: Jesus, even so, naming the baby "Goal-i" is a bit much, don't you think?
-Mother Director: Think about it again.
-Mother Director: I may have picked you up under a bridge, but I gave you a proper name like Jesus, didn't I?
-Mother Director: But do you really want to name your child Goal-i?
-Mother Director: Think of the child's future and reconsider once more.
Reading Mother Director's messages brought back a flood of thoughts. I vividly remembered the moment as a kid when the girl I liked gave me a crown of thorns and a cross as a birthday gift.
-Jesus Joo: I'll talk it over with Yu-na after we get back to Madrid.
-Jesus Joo: But Mom, I got teased a lot as a kid because of my name too.
-Jesus Joo: The girl I liked even gave me a crown of thorns and a cross as a birthday gift.
-Jesus Joo: Are you sure you did your best with my name?
-Mother Director: ... Oh dear, the kids are calling me. Jesus, I'll message you later. Stay healthy.
I quietly thought of the people Mother Director had named.
Kim Doo-sik. Jesus Joo. Nazareth. Yeru and Isalim siblings.
Fuck, my name's still the best. For the first time in my life, I offered a prayer of thanks to God.
Lord, thank you for helping with Mother's naming. I almost ended up as Lord Nazareth or Lord Jerusalem.
I spent the night agonizing over Goal-i's name, then talked it over with Yu-na after returning to Madrid.
"How about Yohan?"
"Joo Yohan?"
"Yeah! Jesus and Yohan!"
Fine, at least it's not Canaanite.
Son, sorry. But at least you won't get a crown of thorns from the girl you like.
Be content with that, Yohan.
If you want to resent someone later, resent your mom over there who's so proudly admiring how well she named you.
And so, Goal-i's name became Yohan.
The next day, I let Kim Doo-sik's family know that we'd settled on Yohan for the baby's name. Doo-sik hyung, without even considering his own name, started running his mouth.
"Goal-i's name is Yohan?"
"Yeah, Joo Yohan."
"Where's Lord Peter and Lord Moses? Oh, but Moses is pretty good? Lord Moses? Gimme another shot of nationalism!"
Thwack-!
"You idiot, think about your own name before mocking others!"
"No, that's on Mother Director's terrible naming skills! You hitting me for my name now?!"
Doo-sik hyung, who was mocking the baby's name, got his ear grabbed by his wife and dragged to the corner for a beating. Watching that put my mind at ease.
Yeah, someone needs to give that hyung a good thrashing.
While Doo-sik hyung was getting pummeled by his wife, Yu-na approached me with a sulky expression and hugged me.
"Hing- Jesus, is Yohan a really weird name?"
To be honest, Yohan is fine. It's the name of a soccer legend I respect, Johan Cruyff—cool from the start. The problem is when it's paired with mine.
"It's because it sounds like a set with my name. Yohan's cool on its own."
Dad is Jesus, son is Yohan? Holy moly.
The Joo family with its grand faith.
Song Yu-na's official YouTube.
Hello, U-fam! This is Yu-na, happily married and living in Madrid!
Sorry I haven't uploaded much due to childbirth and parenting. o(TTo)
Today, sponsored by Colchester United, the family is watching a soccer match on TV together!
P.S. You can watch Colchester games anytime by buying season or match passes on their official site, so please check it out!
Before kickoff, my husband prepared cookies.
Hehe, isn't my hubby so thoughtful?
While munching cookies...
The ref blew the whistle—game on!
Yohan, who was fussing, got focused on the soccer once it started.
Does he have talent for soccer like his dad?
(Halftime.)
Colchester United's match featured a bunch of promising youngsters getting attention from La Fabrica, so Colchester dominated as usual.
My husband says Colchester United has a great partnership with Real Madrid.
After all, Madrid's star player took over the club, and with the former Madrid captain as manager, plus staff and prospects joining en masse, it's bound to be pro-Madrid.
In the UK media, they're even calling Colchester "Little Madrid."
Fun fact: From the 5 billion won acquisition, it's now valued at nearly 4x—around 20 billion!
My hubby kills it on the pitch and in investments!
Mwah- Slurp- Mwah- Slurp
Drip-
(After this kiss scene, Yu-na ended the recording. Colchester United won 4:1. Please support Colchester United!)
(If you enjoyed, subscribe, like, and turn on notifications for U&I!)
Record the next scene for viewers' right to know!
Ah, fuck, my stomach hurts. Some of us are single, losing money in stocks, while others chill at home multiplying wealth.
This is harsh modern reality. Turning investment to 4x via connections.
Gallll! How can everyone just envy Jesus hyung? Don't forget he's upping the chicken giveaways on the forums!
Hope Yohan does forum chicken giveaways later too.
Why drag the kid into the cesspool?
Yu-na gave birth but still hasn't visited the forums?
Busy with parenting! Don't seek me out!
Busy chilling, probably.
Getting aroused by that cliffhanger? Jesus Joo must have weird fetishes.
◔◔╭∩╮
Lolololol Anger flip-off lololol
Can feel the rage overflowing the comments lololol
Aside from team training and sex with Yu-na, I spent all my time with Yohan.
Seeing Yohan smile brightly at me purified my heart.
Thankfully, Yohan was growing healthily, and both Real Madrid and Colchester United were steadily picking up points in their leagues.
The coach and club respected my life choices. My relationships with teammates were fine, and Yu-na was content with life in Spain.
Spain's a place where people live too.
Sure, there are trash reporters and rabid Real Madrid fans going wild, but...
"Valverde OUT!"
Nothing major. These folks always flip after I score and we win the next game anyway.
Santiago Bernabéu echoes with Jesus Joo's chant.
"Legend Valverde, sign a lifetime contract with us!"
The real issue cropped up back in South Korea.
I contacted the academy in Korea to figure out what was going on.
The person in charge explained over the phone.
"Mommy cafes started rumors that we were free childcare, so tons of parents dropped off kids. We diligently scouted for talent anyway and moved promising ones to advanced classes for proper training, but they flipped out claiming discrimination and mistreatment."
I nodded quietly at the resentful staffer's words.
The peninsula was being the peninsula.