Chapter 41
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 41
Chapter Title: Granada's Fireworks Shine Brightest - 3
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Granada's fireworks really are the prettiest.
The most important thing in acting is fooling yourself first. I completely convinced myself that my body hurt, and in the end, I even fooled the referee, earning myself that very desirable yellow card.
That doesn't mean I didn't protest, though. A well-calibrated protest is a great way to lower the ref's suspicions. I approached the referee with the most aggrieved expression I could muster.
"Ay! That bastard put his head right on my foot!"
As soon as I started protesting, Sergio Pepe rushed over and pulled me away from the referee.
"Oh! No, no. Jesus is just hurting right now, ref. We're satisfied with the call."
Sergio Pepe had been the team's star captain before I joined Real Madrid, and sure enough, he put on an academy-award-worthy performance.
"Amigo, great acting."
"Puta! You should've kicked him without making it so obvious! Do you have any idea how many guys had to join in on the act because of you?"
"Shut up! It worked out fine anyway. I just mistook his head for the ball!"
Anyway, one soccer kick was all it took to blow off some serious steam.
"Inazaki-sensei... you were right! Opportunities always come!"
Luis García shook his head at my mutterings, but I coolly ignored him.
That punk. If he were on the other team, I'd have pretended it was an accident and kicked his shin.
As that thought crossed my mind, I came face-to-face with a Granada player.
I immediately put on my most wronged expression.
Honestly, after a performance like that, even the Granada guys might think it was possible to mix up a head and a ball, right?
That was back in my naive days.
Beep-!
Looks like I couldn't fool the Granada players. After my soccer kick, they went in hard with stiff expressions, throwing rough tackles without hesitation.
"Puta!!! Why the hell are you coming at me!!"
It wasn't me rolling on the Santiago Bernabéu’s premium grass—it was Luis García.
Hmm. I felt a twinge of guilt at first, but upon reflection, it was just Luis being incompetent.
"You fucking bastards. If you're gonna lose it at Jesus, why take it out on me!!!"
Life's unchanging truth: If you take it lying down, you get treated like a pushover.
Luis was learning that lesson deep in his bones.
That's why when I offered to teach 101 ways to crush opponents, Luka Savić quietly attended the lecture like a good student, and nothing like this happened to him. Tsk tsk.
The fiery pass shuttle glared at the Granada players with bared teeth and murderous eyes.
"I'm gonna kill every last one of those Granada fuckers!"
Come to think of it, Luis seemed like such a nice guy at first. But at some point, he started spewing curses non-stop.
Anyway, my circle is full of crazies or people hiding their crazy.
Sigh. As the only sane one, I guess I have to understand and move on.
Oh, right! Yu-na's normal too.
(GIF of Jesus Joo getting a yellow card)
Come on. His head looked just like the ball, so I got confused and kicked it. Why's that a yellow? Ridiculous.
He wouldn't have gotten carded if he wasn't bald in the first place.
Shouldn't you be carding the bald guy?! Ugh, I'm pissed! (╬ಠಠ)
····Isn't it lucky it ended with just a yellow?
Ah~ Here she goes again lol
Yu-na, please don't rage. Everyone saw that blatant foul.
Nu-uh~ Our Jesus has a heart pure as silk, he couldn't possibly resort to violence. Hing. He's probably stressing over that opposing player right now. ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡
What? The Jesus this girl's talking about has a totally different image from the one we know?
Fr tho. Jesus causes a lot of drama on the pitch, but off it he's sweet and donates tons.
What soccer player donates chicken to community users lol
Lol no but fr GodJesus donating chicken to marginalized community users~ Praise!
Sis why haven't you been on the community lately? Miss those chicken giveaways.
Jesus said pregnant women should only see good things, so no community for me! ｡◕‿◕｡
··· Fair point.
···Come back after the baby pls
···I wasn't talking about chicken giveaways, I meant his actual big donations;; (Jesus Joo flood victim farmers donation)
···Damn, this guy's donated a ton to all sorts of places?
[Granada cuts it short with another foul. Added time in the first half—Real Madrid gets a free kick in a prime spot.]
[From Granada's perspective, it seems like a satisfactory first half. Despite Real Madrid dominating with 83% possession, the scoreline isn't great for them.]
[Without Jesus's early opener, Real Madrid might have been in for a tough grind.]
[Jesus is setting up as the kicker.]
[The referee signals, and Jesus strikes the ball. It lifts... and hangs! Wait?!]
What a goal!!! The ball we thought was shanked suddenly drops and rattles the net!!
Oh. I doubted him! His shots never miss! Jesus kicks the non-believers to the curb!!
Like an eephus pitch in baseball, the ball floats lazily toward the outside... then plummets, clips the crossbar, and crosses the line.
[Real Madrid players rush toward Jesus.]
"Vamos!!!!! Fuck you, you Granada dogs!!!!"
[Luis García's the happiest. Oh wow—Luis García does a celebratory V-sign right in front of the Granada player who fouled him hard earlier.]
[Jesus scores, but Luis García picks up the yellow. At this rate, with a double squad of cards, Real Madrid might even forfeit due to suspensions.]
[Real Madrid collecting too many needless cards. Manager Valverde lays into Luis García.]
[From the coach's seat, it's a headache. Too many card magnets—and they're all key players: Jesus, Sergio Pepe, now Luis García.]
[All card magnets are team cores.]
Beep-! Beep!
[Halftime whistle blows.]
[2-0 to Real Madrid, courtesy of Jesus's brace. His pre-match hat-trick prediction might just happen. See you in the second half.]
Second half, 20th minute.
Not a chance to boot Edson Álvarez's head, but a genuine scoring opportunity arrived.
Water-type pass shuttle Luka Savić fed the ball to fire-type pass shuttle Luis García.
Fueled by Granada's brutal fouls in the first half, Luis—fuming—passed to me in a timing and style even I, a soccer veteran, didn't see coming.
"Jesus!!"
The moment I confirmed the pass, Roberto Fabianski dragged the defender, opening space for me.
Thwack-!
I unleashed a shot into the gap he created.
"Fuck off!!!!"
The American-born keeper cursed as...
Swish—
The net rippled.
"Vamos!!!"
Ha. Damn. If only the South Korea national team could play at this level...
[Can't stop him! No stopping Jesus! Real Madrid home fans roar for the hat-trick!]
[In the end, the Eastern Prophet Jesus fulfills his prophecy against Granada.]
[Haha, haven't heard that nickname in a while. Oh, replay of the goal. Wow! What a stunner.]
[Luis García's brilliant heel pass, Roberto Fabianski's perfect dummy run, and capped by this man. Jesus's astonishing finish! Real Madrid adds another like clockwork machinery!]
[Clockwork indeed. Luis, Roberto, Jesus—all knew exactly what to do.
Watch this moment: Roberto lures the defender, creating shooting space for Jesus.
Jesus nails the split-second window. Roberto only recently transferred to Real Madrid, but the Jesus-Fabianski combo already reads each other perfectly.]
[Perfection! Every aspect flawless. Oh! Haha, even Jesus's celebration is spot-on. He jogs to the camera, pointing at his number on his back!
A message to those doubting his talent.]
The moment I completed the hat-trick, I showed my back number to the haters who doubted me.
Eat this, you 18 bastards.
[Madrid's God, No. 9 Jesus!!!]
As I headed back to the center circle amid the roaring chants, the stadium announcer's excited voice made me realize something.
Oh right. I'm not number 18 anymore.
With the cheers echoing, I thanked Roberto Fabianski for his dummy run that drew the defender and opened the angle.
"Great movement, Robi."
"Great finish, Jesus."
As we praised each other, fire-type pass shuttle Luis García—the assist man—slinked over.
"How was it, Jesus? My pass was killer, right?"
"Nah, your pass sucked."
"Hostia! Ay, Robi! What's your take?"
"Hm. Jesus isn't wrong."
"Puta madre, you dirty Jesus follower."
"Luis, kidding. Great pass."
"Heh heh, Amigo! Be honored to receive my pass."
We laughed, hyping each other's plays. With Granada's spirit broken after my hat-trick, we pummeled them in their half till the final whistle.
And the unsatisfied Granada fans—somehow smuggled them in—lit up flares in the away section.
The Madrid players huddled around me, admiring the Granada mountain fireworks I'd raved about.
"See? Told you Granada's are the prettiest."
"What's the difference?"
"Oh, Luis. Your taste is hopeless."
"What the fuck, you psycho."
Tsk tsk. Such an idiot, blind to Granada fireworks' beauty.
Match end.
Real Madrid 5:0 Granada.
Goals: Jesus (15', 45+1', 75'), Roberto Fabianski (81', 90+3')
Post-match interviews.
[Real Madrid manager Valverde: 'I never doubted Jesus would hat-trick. He's a scorer anywhere.
I know he could double it if he wanted.
His real rival? His own laziness. But hey, he plays that well— a little sloth's fine, right?']
[On the Álvarez head-kick controversy, Valverde: 'Eh? Looked like a mistake to me. I'd rather call out Granada's rough play from earlier.']
[Granada manager: 'Nothing to say. Sorry to disappoint our fans who traveled. We'll regroup and grab points next match.'] He left the press zone.
[Jesus on Álvarez kick drama: 'I am soccer.'] He breezed through the mixed zone.