Experiencing It Directly Was Different
“I really didn’t mean to upset you. I was just so impatient, and...”
“You don’t even know me that well.”
Leehyun was a practicing physician at a prestigious university hospital despite her relatively young age. Even to someone like me, who knew next to nothing about the medical field, it was obvious she was walking an elite track. Why would a woman who lacked nothing and had no reason to lower herself anywhere act like this toward me?
“I don’t know everything, no. But I know what’s crucial and decisive.”
“About me?”
“Yeah.”
Leehyun shifted in her seat, straightening her posture.
“Ever since the day I first met you, Jeongseo, not a single day has passed where I didn’t think about you.”
Her previous restlessness vanished, replaced by clear, deliberate words.
“I knew I had to hold on to this man, no matter what.”
“Why?”
“Because when you looked at me, there wasn’t the slightest hint of aversion in your eyes.”
I was guided by memories of a past life. Because of that, I couldn't fully comprehend just how profound and weighty those words were to a woman living in this world.
“And your scent... it’s completely my type.”
“My scent?”
“Yeah. Scent is important. Especially between a man and a woman.”
“Wait, isn’t that just a personal thing for you?”
Leehyun had just brought up something bordering on perverted without so much as a blush on her cheeks.
“Not at all. Other people care about a partner’s body scent too. It’s just even more important to me.”
“All right. And so?”
“I never knew I had that side to me until I met you.”
It didn’t seem like a topic worth arguing over, so I simply gave a small nod.
“That’s why I thought I couldn’t afford to lose you. Just sitting beside you and catching your scent makes me feel genuinely happy.”
“Uh... I see.”
“I know I sound a little like a pervert.”
“Just a little?”
“Ah. Maybe more than a little?”
The awkward tension that had settled between us after I pretended to be angry was steadily melting away, largely because she was laying out her bizarre tastes with such shameless sincerity.
“You saw back then, right? That I like feet.”
“Yes.”
“Honestly, it’s not just feet... but anyway. Even when I did that, you didn't look at me like I was disgusting or creepy.”
She meant that I had accepted a fetish that would have sent any ordinary man fleeing in terror. In reality, all I had done was make a mental note that she seemed to like feet. I hadn’t necessarily sympathized with her fetish or shared it; I had merely observed her reaction and analyzed it on the spot.
“Where else in the world would I find a man like that? That’s why I can’t do without you, Jeongseo.”
So that was the crux of it. The fact that my expression hadn’t shifted in the slightest even after witnessing her perverse tendencies.
Reflexively, the question crossed my mind: Is that really such a big deal?
Still, I redirected my attention to the situation unfolding right before my eyes. Leehyun was clinging to me with absolute desperation, entirely reckless in her pursuit.
“Noona.”
“Yeah...? It really is disgusting, isn’t it?”
“No. Everyone has different tastes. I don’t mind that at all.”
“Huh? Really?”
Her face instantly lit up, as if my answer had handed her a lifeline of hope.
“Though, the way you talk makes it sound like you’ve been burned by a lot of men before.”
“What?”
I crossed my arms and adopted a thoughtful, inquisitive expression.
“Did you reveal your preferences to other guys before, have things go south, and that’s why you’re clinging so hard to me?”
“No! I’ve never done that, not even once!”
“Or maybe you pulled something like that with another male patient before me?”
“I swear I didn’t! In the first place, you were my very first male patient... All I’ve ever done is study and do research like crazy!”
Flustered, Leehyun scrambled to explain her daily routine. In short, she was saying she had never had a single opportunity to meet a man in her entire life.
“It’s the honest truth. Please believe me.”
“Mmh... All right. I believe you.”
A visible wave of relief washed over her at my confirmation.
“But what if another guy came along and let you touch his feet like that? Wouldn’t you fall head over heels for him instead?”
“Huh?”
Her relieved expression instantly morphed back into pure panic. This was entertaining.
“I mean, think about it. Everything you’ve talked about so far comes down to your personal fetish. As long as someone caters to that, wouldn’t anyone do?”
“No! There isn’t another man like that to begin with!”
“How can you be so sure? What if there is? Some other guy might match your exact tastes.”
“Ah... Jeongseo, no. That’s not true. I’m not that fickle.”
“Do we even have the kind of relationship where fidelity is a factor?”
“I mean... that’s why starting from now...”
Perhaps it was because she had such an intelligent, refined appearance, but watching her stumble around in a state of utter confusion felt oddly stimulating.
“All right, I get it. But can we eat now? I’m hungry.”
“Oh, right! Let’s eat. I’m sorry. You were busy listening to me ramble, so dinner got delayed.”
She watched my every move with anxious, tentative care, hastily sliding the side dishes she thought were delicious toward my side of the table.
Testing the waters had been the right call. Leehyun hadn’t been taking me lightly or looking down on me; she was simply doing everything in her power to win my favor. Her methods were just extraordinarily clumsy.
She’s the type who’d be in serious trouble if she ever ran into the wrong man.
Whether this was her natural personality or if she truly acted this way only around me, I couldn't say for sure. Regardless, I decided to treat her with genuine sincerity from now on—even if I couldn't resist teasing her just a little bit.
“She’s my mother.”
“Huh? Who is?”
“Pfft... The older woman you saw in the parking lot earlier. That was my mom.”
“Gasp! Really? Wait, calling her an older woman, I didn't mean... I mean, Jeongseo, did I say something terribly wrong?”
If we kept going like this, she looked liable to get indigestion before finishing her meal. So I finally gave her the answer to the question that had been eating away at her.
“No, not at all. Eat up, Noona.”
“Right. I’ll eat. Eat lots, okay?”
After fretting helplessly over every word out of my mouth, Leehyun’s face bloomed into a bright, genuine smile the moment she heard the word ‘mother.’
Once we started eating, our conversation settled into a normal rhythm. It felt like a proper blind date where two people took the time to learn about each other.
“There’s something I was curious about... Why did you contact me?”
“You specifically asked me to reach out, didn’t you?”
“I did say that, but... honestly, I thought you wouldn’t.”
We had finished our meal and were currently having dessert. As I chewed on the sweet rice cake served alongside plum tea, I was privately wondering if it would be rude to ask the restaurant for the recipe. Meanwhile, Leehyun was brimming with curiosity about me.
How should I answer this time? I couldn't talk about my genuine inner emotions. And while she was objectively attractive, that wasn't the reason either.
“What could someone like you possibly find appealing about me...? I appreciate you calling me Noona, but I’m not even close to being in your age bracket.”
“That’s true. We’re a full zodiac cycle apart.”
“Ugh... You’re right. Sigh... After spending years doing nothing but commuting between the hospital and my house, I didn't even realize how old I’d gotten.”
Leehyun seemed to believe she fell short in many ways when compared to me, especially because of her age. Given that she seemed to possess plenty of self-esteem whenever other topics came up, seeing her like this was rather bewildering.
“So... why? Did you think I was pretty, maybe?”
“Because you looked rich.”
“Huh? Oh... I see.”
An awkward, frozen smile spread across her lips. It seemed I needed to touch upon the emotional side of things, even if only indirectly.
“I’m just joking. You kept bragging about your money earlier, after all.”
“I’m sorry. Please forget that. I’m such an idiot... I’m not even actually rich, so why did I say that?”
“Even though it was only for a short time, I had fun with you back then.”
“Really? What was fun? Which part?”
When I was with Yeo-eun, I was often provoked into annoyance. But when I was with Leehyun, the overriding emotion I felt was amusement.
“It’s hard to pinpoint one specific thing. It was just enjoyable.”
“Wow! What a relief. You’re the very first person who’s ever told me I was fun to be around.”
“Really? What about your friends?”
“Yeah. They always tell me I’m way too serious. Um... sometimes they say I’m suffocating, too.”
She was definitely entertaining. Just watching her expressions shift rapidly from one moment to the next was enough to soothe the darker impulses lurking in my mind.
“And just looking at your face, you don’t look that old at all.”
“Really? Do I look a little young?”
“Yes. Mid-twenties, maybe? Your behavior doesn't exactly scream worldly experience, either.”
“Yeah, thanks. Uh... that’s a compliment, right?”
“Of course.”
She gave the impression of someone who had never weathered the harsh storms of the world. Seeing her chatter away once her nerves settled was oddly endearing. She had mentioned being an only child, which made sense; she had clearly grown up bathed in the affection of her parents.
“Seriously, though. I was freezing to death earlier.”
“Because of the skirt?”
“Yeah. It’s a little embarrassing, but I searched online to see what younger people wear these days.”
Leehyun explained that she had made countless preparations for our meeting today. Reserving the restaurant, buying new clothes, practicing a new makeup style, and even borrowing a car. As it turned out, the vehicle we rode in belonged to her father. She had wanted to look youthful while still showing off mature, adult charm.
I could certainly appreciate the sheer effort she had put into it.
“Dressing up is great, but I think looking natural suits you just as well.”
“Ah... right. Did I overdo it and act ridiculous?”
She looked down at her outfit with a dejected pout.
“That’s not what I meant. I just mean you can be more comfortable around me. In your own style.”
“I’m terrible at dressing well... And people online said young guys like it when their date has a car.”
At this point, it was impossible to view her as an older sister figure, especially after she had just claimed she wanted to show off the charm of a mature adult.
“Noona.”
“Yeah...?”
“You’re pretty. I’m not saying you look weird.”
“Huh?”
“Having a car is convenient, but you don’t need one. I don't have one either.”
“Jeongseo...”
This time, her eyes shimmered with profound emotion.
“You don’t have to change everything all at once. Showing who you naturally are is great too.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
“Dressing up is fine, but there’s no need to stress yourself out or suffer for it.”
“Yeah!”
She looked on the verge of tears.
“What good is it if seeing me feels like a chore and makes you uncomfortable every time? Next time we meet, let’s keep things more relaxed than today. How about it?”
“Next time? We’re... meeting again?”
“Did you plan on never seeing me again after today?”
“Sniffle... Thank you. Jeongseo, why do you say everything so sweetly?”
I hadn’t spoken with the intention of moving her to tears. I had simply shared my thoughts, but it seemed I had inadvertently driven the final nail home.
“Does this mean... did I pass?”
“Ahaha. Pass? Yes. You passed.”
A burst of laughter escaped me at her parting question. It wasn’t a calculated, deliberate smile; I had simply laughed naturally.
Finding something funny, feeling genuine amusement—I had always known conceptually under what circumstances people felt joy, and what expressions they wore when they were happy. I understood all of that in theory.
Yet knowing it with my head and feeling it for myself were two entirely different things.