Side Story: Aspen, One Must Die (2)
"Who the hell bought you the alcohol?"
"Everyone believed me when I said I was over twenty. How did you know I was awake?"
"I saw your eyelids twitching. Were you pretending not to notice while blaming it on the drink?"
Nathan slowly lifted his head from Aspen's shoulder. Then, as if nothing had happened, he gazed out the window. The Peres family villa stood visible in the distance. Amid the flood-like downpour, the two-story mansion looked like something plucked from a fairy tale.
"Weren't we heading to the Lion Wing Knights' quarters?"
"If we go there, they'll probably force more drinks down you, pissed that you secretly learned how to drink."
"I nearly died walking in that rain. Thanks for the ride, Aspen."
Nathan, who had once called her you, you bastard, or crazy bitch, now made a deliberate effort to address her properly as Aspen and attach the proper respect. He had done so ever since that incident. Nearly two years had passed that way. Aspen still found it strangely awkward to hear her name spoken so directly. She couldn't tell if it was Nathan's awkward delivery or her own ears that made it feel off.
"It'll take ten minutes from here. Perfect time for a nap."
"Ah, so that house is the Peres family villa?"
"Yes. You slept, so now I'll sleep. No complaints, right?"
Before Nathan could answer, Aspen leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. The head butler, Peter, had to hide his shock and compose a peaceful expression. The position was uncomfortable, but Nathan stayed perfectly still, unwilling to wake her. He studied her face for a moment, then immediately shut his eyes when she opened hers and looked at him.
Captain, I wasn't sure before.
Aspen felt an emotion she couldn't name.
I suppose I was wrong.
Aspen had always been someone who lived by plans. Until today. She had never planned for this. Until two hours ago, such thoughts had never crossed her mind. She hadn't even known she was capable of it. Secretly calling a boy who had drunk himself senseless into her room. A boy three years her junior. And of all people, Nathan Maia.
That psychotic lowlife? You called him to your room? Why? Did he threaten you?
What would the young, bold Aspen—the youngest knight in the Lion Wing Knights—have said if she could see herself now at twenty years old?
Or... has your head finally broken?
Never mind. This was bad. Very bad. She needed a deep breath.
Aspen took another urgent gulp of the fruit wine and immediately hiccuped at the sound of knocking. What have I done? No, wait. She had only called him over. Get a grip, Aspen. Nothing has happened yet—
<Aspen? Open the door!>
Nathan's muffled voice came through the wood. The locked door rattled. Aspen rushed over and gripped the handle, holding it shut as if defending against a siege.
Open it, you crazy bitch!
Don't open it, you crazy bitch!
While her left and right brain screamed conflicting orders, Aspen's hands shook violently.
<Hey, you told me to come!>
Nathan's voice outside grew more desperate. It made sense—the summer villa had no overhanging roof. The insane wind and rain had snatched his umbrella. After slipping and falling, Nathan screamed from the terrace corridor while water poured over him.
<What the hell is this weather! Open this door right now? Aaaaspen!>
Realizing her mistake, Aspen frantically threw the door open. Nathan, who had been sneezing violently toward the railing, brightened at the sight and stepped forward. The heavy thud of his footsteps startled Aspen again. She let out a small "Hik!" and slammed the door shut.
Nathan, who had already shoved his arm through, screamed as his wrist twisted.
"Aaaagh! This is insane, seriously—!"
"Sorry, sorry—!"
The moment she flung the door wide again, Nathan pushed inside with pure rage.
"No, wait, just wait—!"
"Wait for what? What the hell were you doing leaving someone standing outside in that!"
Nathan's soaked upper body shoved past Aspen's shoulder. She tried to dodge but missed the timing and nearly slammed into the wall. Her thigh tangled with his, blocking his path. Nathan, on the verge of tripping, stopped short. Rain dripped from his soaked hair as he panted heavily.
"Why call me over and then refuse to open the door?"
"No, it's just—"
"Just what. My ears are about to freeze off, so let's go inside and talk—"
Nathan froze. He looked down. Aspen was wearing pajamas in a way that felt strangely unfamiliar. He had rarely even seen her in casual clothes. The thin summer fabric had gotten wet from contact with his soaked body. The outline showed through—
"Move, Aspen."
When Nathan tried to turn his eyes away, Aspen shoved him against the wall. Then she embraced him. The sensation of something soft like dough crushing against his stomach. This was—
In the narrow entryway, the moment their hot breaths collided, Nathan froze without understanding why. Neither of them knew what came next.
Aspen went rigid as stone. Nathan simply held his hands out, defenseless. While they breathed heavily, neither knowing what to do, Nathan finally gathered the courage to speak.
"Are you drunk?"
The words snapped Aspen back to reality. She licked her lips.
"...Probably."
"That explains quite a few things."
Nathan grumbled and slowly pushed her away. Aspen lowered her head and stepped aside.
"You told me to come after sobering up, yet you had a drink yourself? What a fine adult you are."
When Nathan learned there was a shower attached to the room, his face lit up. After he returned neatly dried off, however, a new problem awaited. Though the family had built a grand villa on the capital's outskirts to display their power, the interior was austerely simple in true Peres fashion. There was nowhere to sit except the bed.
Naturally, Aspen and Nathan ended up sitting side by side on it. Side by side. On the bed. Aspen wouldn't have called him without considering this.
After drying off, Nathan needed considerable resolve just to turn and look at her. When Aspen, now in fresh pajamas, avoided his gaze, he wondered if that resolve had been insufficient.
"Can I turn on the light?"
"No."
"Why did you call me?"
No answer came for a long time. Their breaths mingled. Just like on that day.
Nathan took a deep breath, stood, and moved directly in front of her. He grabbed her bowed red hair and swept it aside like a curtain. A face as red as her hair color stared back with wide eyes. Sensing the heat in her cheeks, Aspen offered an excuse unprompted.
"Because I'm drunk. That's why."
"You're drunk? So?"
In his irritation, Nathan grabbed her cheeks with both hands. Aspen, her mouth puckered like a goldfish, looked genuinely flustered.
"Wha ah you doin."
"After acting like that in front of the door, you're just going to pretend nothing happened?"
Aspen's eyes fluttered like fans. Her cheeks were squeezed, her eyes opened foolishly. To Nathan, the fact that she could look so beautiful even like this felt like cheating.
"You're not thinking of glossing over it and ending things here, are you?"
Their breaths mingled again. Aspen, momentarily panicked and making muffled sounds, quickly slapped the back of his hand. When Nathan loosened his grip, her sulky voice came out clearly.
"Damn it, let go if you want an answer. It's already hard enough with the alcohol."
She didn't seem that drunk. Nathan kept the thought to himself.
"You weren't very cool today."
"And?"
"Getting drunk and throwing a tantrum in the street."
"And what?"
Their rough breaths collided.
"So."
Aspen swallowed hard.
"I don't know. I must have gotten really drunk before you arrived."
You told me not to blame it on the alcohol. When Nathan narrowed his eyes in dissatisfaction, Aspen chuckled and raised both hands. She slipped her fingers between his.
"How old are you, Nathan?"
"Seventeen. Since yesterday. I enjoyed the birthday pie you gave me. I don't know whose idea it was to stuff meat between the jam."
"Seventeen, right. And I'm twenty. Correct?"
As Aspen slowly tilted her head forward, the balance of tension shifted. Now the flustered one, Nathan turned his head away, unsure what to do.
"You're twenty, so what?"
"So if something happens today, the one at fault will be me. Right?"
"Fault? What fault—"
Aspen twisted his fingers.
"Aaack, fuck—!"
A crisis response honed by habit. Nathan let out a short scream and braced for pain. But none came. Instead of breaking it, Aspen had only used half the technique. Pulled by the force, he was thrown onto the bed with a thud. Fear hit him at the realization.
Aspen leaped and collapsed on top of him. She narrowed her eyes in dissatisfaction.
"Why is your expression so calm? I feel completely wronged here."
"It's not calm."
"I borrowed courage from alcohol just to get this far. Why are you so calm?"
"First, I'm not fully sober yet either. Second, you said if you're going to throw a tantrum, don't even touch the alcohol."
"You're always like this. No matter what crisis comes, you stay so rigid. Sometimes I was jealous of that. And I really hated it."
At the rambling that had reached full drunken incoherence, Nathan decided he should believe she was drunk. He had been about to joke about it but swallowed the words when he saw the tears glistening in her eyes.
"People who can't bend like that... they disappear too quickly."
Nathan had always been someone who read the room carefully. His harsh upbringing had made him terrible at it, yet right now he felt he knew exactly what to do. This was a thought he had never entertained until two hours ago. He hadn't even known such a moment was possible.
Nathan pulled Aspen's head toward him. And kissed her.
The moment their lips met, Aspen startled. But Nathan didn't release the hand holding the back of her head. Not when their lips bit and caressed, not when his tongue pried between them. The instant their tongues touched, her resistance melted away.
Nathan released her head. Mucous membranes and saliva intertwined. A deep, warm heat surged within their bodies. It seemed the same for Aspen. Their rough breaths collided, carrying that heat. They breathed fire into each other, drunk on the sensation inside their mouths.
At the hand that pulled him up, Nathan obediently sat. Aspen, chest heaving, slowly reached to remove her pajamas. Nathan caught her wrist and stopped her.
Aspen tried to ask calmly, but her voice came out terrified.
"Why? Why?"
Instead of answering, Nathan reached for the buttons on her pajamas. Hik. Like before the door, Aspen made a choked sound. It felt sufficiently wrong. That realization made something like anger boil up inside Nathan.
He undid the buttons. Slowly at first, then faster, more urgently. When he lifted the fabric, Aspen obediently raised her arms. Nathan grew dizzy at the outline of her breasts pressed beneath her underwear. It was stimulating. Dangerously so. Showing this should be considered a crime. He wanted to see beyond it. But he didn't know how to remove a bra, so he simply grabbed the strap and pulled it down.
Aspen looked as if someone had struck her head with a hammer.
"Hey, hey! Wait—!"
He had heard "wait" enough times. Nathan looked at her with exhausted frustration.
"That was the last 'wait.' There won't be another. This is too much."
At the bold declaration, a shiver ran down Aspen's spine.
"...Alright."
She had thrown the word around a lot today. She had been the one to provoke him, the one who pushed Nathan past his limit. But he was the impatient one now. Aspen had no intention of accepting things without proper lubrication. So she began to stroke him—with her mouth, with her hands. A little later, Nathan began to return the favor.
Amid the loud rain, their bodies intertwined. The scent of rain mixed with Aspen's own fragrance. A hint of alcohol, and something like flowers. He didn't know which flower. Nathan lacked the refinement to distinguish scents by type. But one thing was certain. This sensation of skin brushing skin was unmistakably the texture of first love.
Most physical contact between them had been power struggles. But there were no calculated moves or surprise attacks in this room now. Only two endlessly clumsy people. So they felt like strangers to each other. Is the you here really the person I know? The you making awkward, desperate faces, the woman panting and losing her breath—could that really be Aspen Peres?
Nathan decided to find out. At the bold move of licking a sensitive spot, Aspen let out a startled cry and flinched like a startled herbivore.
"Hiiiik…!"
She didn't run. Even while flinching, she tried to return the favor, as if proving she was the Aspen he knew. But eventually her posture crumbled, and without realizing it, she turned her body. Naturally, Nathan took control.
Aspen, letting out strange moans as she surrendered, soon found herself pinned tightly beneath him. Just like on the day of that incident.
"Hik, huk. Heuk…."
"Aspen. Listen without misunderstanding."
"Nathan, I, I—"
"I don't know what comes next."
Aspen, still panting, glared at him as if she might kill him with her eyes.
"Hey."
Reading the threat of violence, Nathan flinched.
"So, I read about it in a book..."
He had read it. The strange, well-worn books that circulated through the Lion Wing Knights' male quarters. The knights five or six years older had lent them to him with solemn faces and turned a blind eye when he quietly slipped off to the bathroom, all in the name of brotherhood.
So he knew what process came next. But a sliver of doubt made him hesitate. Is it really okay for a person to do that to another person? For flesh to pierce flesh—
"Damn it, how the hell do I explain this?"
"I have a lot I want to do," Aspen whispered.
"If I get pregnant, I'll have to leave the knights."
Frustration washed over Nathan's face. Wait a minute. No way. Yeah. Let's stop here. We've gone pretty far already. No, absolutely not. They couldn't stop here—
"Just a moment, Aspen. Let's take our time and—"
Aspen pushed him. Nathan fell back weakly. But it wasn't over. When she climbed atop him again, her eyes still burned with strange desire.
"So for today... just with the mouth."
Nathan couldn't resist as she pulled down his pants. The cascading sunset-colored hair covered the view, so he couldn't see clearly. But the moist sensation enveloping him was...
"I'll use it."
Three glasses hadn't been enough. Aspen knew the alcohol had already worn off completely. Pretending to act under its influence was her last line of defense—an excuse in case Nathan rejected her. Even while trembling, she had summoned the courage to call him here.
But he didn't know what to do? Was he joking? The beginner's hesitation was devoured by her irritation. Aspen attacked him as if consuming him. When her tongue brushed the tip, Nathan's vision went white. The hand that nearly grabbed her hair stopped in midair. Soon half of it disappeared into her mouth. Asking for more would probably be too much. But it was enough. No—for Nathan, it was overwhelming.
The slow glide of mucous membrane against mucous membrane, the wet squelching sounds. It ended before even ten strokes. At the intense release, Nathan gripped the bedsheet and barely held back a childlike scream. Everything was far more stimulating than the books had described. But one thing differed from what he had read.
Aspen neither swallowed nor ignored what spurted out. Instead, she dodged in panic. Among all her actions, that was the only part she performed skillfully. The moment something splashed against the floor and sheets, she quickly pulled out a handkerchief and covered him. Like applying pressure to a wound.
Even in the midst of crushing embarrassment, Aspen's hand was warm and the silk handkerchief soft. Nathan cursed the part of his body that registered even that sensation so vividly.
He carefully watched her expression. Aspen alternated her gaze between the still-throbbing evidence and the mess, her eyes filled only with innocent confusion. How do I clean this up?
"Uh, um. How was it?"
"Everything was just mortifying."
Nathan thought this would be the end. He comforted himself with the knowledge that the mood had been good.
Unlike Nathan, who had never received proper family education, Aspen had been given sex education befitting a noble daughter. But the current situation differed greatly from what the maids had told her. Nathan showed no sign of softening.
"I'll borrow the alcohol's courage to say one more thing."
Thinking again, there was no reason to stop here. She didn't want to. Aspen swallowed hard once more.
"You know, Nathan. We still have plenty of time until sunrise."
Nathan looked directly at her. A moment later, he pulled off his top and tossed it aside.
"You're going to regret those words."
His voice brimmed with competitive spirit. Aspen remembered again—the way they had circled each other in combat. Perhaps that had been a precursor for them both. Like a dance at a social party.
Aspen, who had been covering her chest and avoiding his gaze until now, smiled with the corner of her mouth twitching.
"Go ahead and try."