The Uncapturable Heroine
Choi Se-young’s face froze solid in an instant. I kept my voice low and even as I tore into her.
“You still haven’t come to your senses? I warned you once already, didn’t I? Don’t build up that absolute bullshit. And yet here you are, you fucking…”
“Why are you suddenly swearing at me… I was just—”
“You don’t give a single shit about me.”
I looked her dead in the eyes.
“You said you like Yu Min-woo. But the second you actually stand in front of him, he looks insanely difficult and I look insanely easy, right?”
“Hey, that’s not what I—”
Choi Se-young scrambled for an excuse. I laughed right in her face.
“Not what you meant? You shriveled up in front of him, so your pride got hurt and you decided to take it out on me. Because I look like a total pushover, right?”
Her lips trembled violently. I asked her,
“How can you have zero manners? Is it really okay to openly try to keep two guys on the line right in front of the person who’s been helping you?”
Choi Se-young pressed her lips tightly together and stared at the floor. If I said one more word, she’d probably burst into tears. Seeing her on the verge of crying hit me with a brutal dose of reality. What the hell was I even doing?
“…”
Here I was, at this age, acting like a damn kid and cursing at a girl. Fuck…
“Sorry for the swearing. But I can’t help you anymore. That’s it.”
I continued,
“That Yu Min-woo guy… he’s really living a hard life. He has two younger siblings at home, and his dad is sick. Because of a work accident. That’s why he’s working part-time.”
A single teardrop finally slipped free and splattered against the floor.
Still, I finished what I had to say.
“Honestly, a kind guy like him deserves to meet someone even better, don’t you think?”
Sniff… sniff… Choi Se-young kept crying, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“…”
“So I can’t do this anymore.”
I shoved a few tissues from my pocket into her hand and turned away.
My mood was absolute garbage. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought up Yu Min-woo at the end. It was true that Choi Se-young had treated me like shit, but she was still just a kid. Kids get those impulses. They do things even when they know it’ll hurt someone else. It’s that childish sense of omnipotence or superiority.
Of course, not everyone can forgive that. And not everyone should have to.
But maybe I could have.
That thought crossed my mind. If there was one problem, it was that I had run into way too many girls like Choi Se-young.
Most girls around that age who were decently pretty carried that same desire. They wanted to seduce guys they weren’t even interested in just to fill up their self-esteem or prove their own superiority. Because of the nature of my work, I ran into those kinds of girls all the time. And because of the nature of my work, I was also an easy target for them.
In their eyes, I probably looked like some errand boy who helped with their love lives for no reason. Which is why I’m probably the first-year high school guy who’s received the most fake flirting in the entire world.
Those bitches… what do they even think a guy’s pure heart is for?
Maybe the old me once dreamed of a pure shoujo-manga development. The heroine I had earnestly pushed forward finally turning around to look at me. Instead of the male lead she was supposed to end up with, she would run into my arms.
But after experiencing one, two, three girls who toyed with my heart to fill themselves up, I stopped holding onto any expectations like that.
That’s why the person in front of me right now actually felt comfortable.
Because you’re the only one who doesn’t treat me like an idiot.
Because from now on, you’re the only one who won’t play with my heart. Because you won’t fall in love with me.
The girl standing in my way wearing that ridiculously tacky tracksuit and those stupid-looking alien sunglasses. The singularity of this unchanging world.
Yoon Byul. Only you.
“Ta-daa!”
She held out a receipt spread wide between both hands.
“What’s this?”
“Tickets for Detective Precure the movie, starting in five minutes. Recliner seats, and it’s a two-person set…”
Yoon Byul peeked her face out from behind the receipt.
“Let’s watch it together!”
“No way, that’s a cartoon for little girls.”
“Actually, there are more middle-aged guys in the theater than you’d think.”
I had heard that before.
“C’mon, let’s watch it~”
Yoon Byul whined like a little kid. I wondered what I should do.
Well, she probably got bored while we were watching the movie…
And my mood was pretty bad anyway. Maybe watching a kids’ cartoon with Yoon Byul would help me change gears.
“…How much were the tickets?”
“It’s fine. I’ll pay!”
She said it with a bright, sunny smile. Even an earthworm would look pretty smiling like that. When you do it, it feels a little unfair.
“Thanks.”
“Then next time, give me a discount~”
“That I can’t do. But I’ll buy the popcorn and cola instead.”
“Ooh. Popcorn has to be caramel!”
“I know.”
And I like it that way too.
We went into the theater like that. The Precure I saw for the first time in my life was, as expected, childish like a kids’ cartoon. But at the same time it was innocent, and a little bit sad… so by the end I was quietly crying.
The ending credits finally began to roll.
“Whoa, he’s crying, he’s crying.”
Yoon Byul grinned and kept poking my cheek.
“Tsk. You caught me.”
“Ah, I should’ve taken a picture. For now, click with my eyes.”
She kept winking at me. She really looked like a total idiot. I wiped the tear stains off with the back of my hand.
“Come on, even the kids are crying. Why does a movie for children have such a sad story? The director’s way too cruel…”
I muttered as I started to stand up, but
“It’s not sad.”
Yoon Byul’s hand settled gently on top of mine.
“So just stay here for a second.”
A little surprised, I turned to look at her. Her eyes were as innocent as always. Yet there was something almost magical in that gaze, and before I knew it I had sat back down.
As if telling me to look around, Yoon Byul swept her eyes across the theater. It wasn’t just us—most of the audience was still in their seats, staring at the ending credits. Soon the children’s sniffles died down too. Maybe there was a post-credits scene.
I started watching the credits roll along with everyone else. Feeling the warmth of Yoon Byul’s hand still holding mine.
Even so, I didn’t think about what kind of emotion that warmth might carry.
I am a Cupid. And she is the singularity I discovered in this world. This world has never once popped up a quest for me, and there is no chance whatsoever that you would ever choose me.
Maybe that’s exactly why I can stay by her side without any worries. Like a planet orbiting an unreachable star—one that could never hurt me.
The final scene of the girls’ anime movie we watched together showed the heroine sending off all the comrades she had fought alongside until now, left alone and crying quietly. She looked like a girl the same age as her comrades, but in truth she was more like their mentor, so in the end she had no choice but to let go of the children she had raised with her own hands.
Finally the lights came on in the theater, and the heroine’s faint sniffles could still be heard faintly beyond the ending credits. Caught up in that lingering atmosphere, audience members here and there began to cry. I wondered if you were crying too, so I turned to look. There were real tear tracks on Jae-ha’s cheeks.
…Yeah. Just as I thought.
I knew it would be like that. Because I know everything about you.
Really. Everything.
You’re someone who cherishes family more than anything. You love your older sister, you love your little sister, and you love the moment when the results of your hard work return to them.
You’re someone who unexpectedly loves sweet things. You like café mocha lattes, you like caramel popcorn, and you like the moment when someone’s love comes true.
You’re someone who really hates bitter things. You hate Americanos, you hate the sight of someone crying, and you hate the moment when fake love deceives you.
Because mature you rarely smiled even as a child, I often wondered what could possibly make you laugh. What in the world could make you smile?
Before I knew it, watching over you had become part of my daily life.
You, carrying two full plastic bags of pork belly and kimchi, smiling brightly in a way that didn’t suit you as you headed home.
You, watching the couple you had finally brought together, letting out a relieved sigh.
You, realizing the confession you received from a client was fake, hanging your head and biting your lip.
You, overwhelmed by festering pain, spilling out words you never wanted to say and wounding yourself.
And right now, you—quietly smiling as you watch the heroine reunite with her disciple in the post-credits scene.
I’m not good at studying, but my memory when it comes to you is excellent. Like taking photographs, I’ve stored every single moment of you inside my own eternity.
The things you like, the things you hate, the times you smile, the times you cry—everything.
After I found you, I couldn’t find anything in this world as wonderful as you, so I’m still only following you.
That’s why I thought that if I ever came to like someone, it could only be you.
Jae-ha, even if everyone else in this world becomes unhappy, I believe you at least must be happy.
At the very least, the girls you try to make happy should never hurt you again.
Choi Se-young kept spouting nonsense, but that one thing she said was the truth.
You pretend not to be, but you’re actually kind. That’s why no matter how hateful the other person is, you can’t hate them. No matter how much you like them, you can’t love them.
I wanted to become your happiness.
But can I really do that? Can I open your heart without hurting you?
Because I’m a coward, I chose the safest method I know.
So even after the post-credits scene ended, I stayed sitting alone with you in the movie theater… becoming the childish, idiot friend Yoon Byul that you know, choosing to take the longest possible road back to you.
“…Hey, Sherlock Jae-ha.”
“?”
“Don’t you need a Watson by your side soon? Haha…”
I’ll stay by your side. Until the warmth of my body eventually melts your heart completely.