I Woke Up as the Husband of the Tyrant Empress
"Mmm..."
I forced my heavy eyelids open.
And then.
'Ugh...'
My whole body felt as sore as if a dump truck had run me over.
No, especially...
My waist hurt like crazy. It felt like it might actually snap in half.
The dream I had last night must have been ridiculously intense.
Even so, waking up this drained to the bone? That was a bit much.
It was an insane level of fatigue, as if my dick had been sucked raw all night until even my spinal fluid had been completely milked out.
I frowned hard and cracked my eyes open.
But the view that greeted me was completely wrong.
Instead of the familiar moldy ceiling of my room, there was an unfamiliar one decorated with ornate, luxurious patterns.
'...Am I still half-asleep?'
Yeah, this had to be the dream continuing.
Otherwise there was no way the silhouette of that woman who had been wildly riding me last night would still be sitting firmly on my stomach, backlit by the morning sun.
"Hic... sniff..."
The sobbing that tickled my ears.
At the same time, a sweet body scent and pleasant warmth washed over my neck.
'Hmm... my neck feels warm.'
With a hazy mind I lightly touched the spot.
What met my fingertips wasn't the familiar blanket but a slender woman's delicate hand.
And when my gaze unconsciously dropped lower.
Two massive, heavy melons so large they wouldn't fit in one hand, positioned right against me...?
'....?'
'...What the hell is this?'
Like I was possessed, I reached out and gently squeezed that soft texture.
Squish—.
".....!"
The foggy vision snapped into crystal clarity.
A completely naked woman was sitting astride my stomach.
"Huu... hic..."
Her face drenched in tears, she stared down at me with resentful, watery eyes.
Her earlobes burned crimson with shame, her red lips trembling.
"My... my first time..."
Her sorrowful gaze suddenly flashed with murderous intent.
Grab—!
"You bastard...! Die!!"
A scream filled with pure rage.
She clamped both hands around my neck with all her strength.
'Eek!'
I squeezed my eyes shut in terror.
I expected my throat to be crushed and my breath cut off, but.
"...Huh?"
The pain never came.
Instead, the hands gripping my neck only trembled like a newborn foal.
No strength seemed to be entering them at all.
"Hic... Why...! Why won't any power enter Our body...!"
The woman burst into loud, heartbroken wails, furious that her body refused to obey her.
The suffocating killing intent from earlier had vanished, leaving only a pitiful, miserable cry.
I stared blankly at her sobbing face.
Red hair disheveled and damp with sweat, blue eyes shimmering with resentment.
And those ferocious curves boldly claiming the morning light.
'Wait a second. ...Erzsébet Erna?!'
It was definitely the Bloody Empress I had been drooling over on my phone screen last night.
'No, this is insane. Why is a game character sitting here crying right in front of me?!'
While I was opening and closing my mouth in utter disbelief.
Ding—!
A cheerful mechanical sound rang out.
A semi-transparent hologram window appeared beside the sobbing woman's head.
'...Kang Hyun-woo. That's my name.'
My eyes were glued to the system window floating in mid-air.
Favorability at 0. Rock bottom.
But the line in the status condition was absolutely ridiculous.
'Kang Hyun-woo's Dick Addiction...?!'
Bold red letters declaring she was addicted to my dick.
'What the actual hell is this...'
"U-um, excuse me. Let's calm down for a second..."
"You lecherous swine! What exactly did you do to Us...!"
The empress glared fiercely while scrubbing away her tears.
I reached out instinctively, trying to soothe her.
"Eek!"
She flinched violently at the gesture and scooted all the way to the corner of the bed.
Her expression was openly disgusted, like she'd seen something repulsive.
'...That actually hurts a little.'
I slowly withdrew my awkward hand.
The infamous Bloody Empress was nowhere to be seen. All that remained was a pitiful figure clutching the blanket, trembling and breathing raggedly.
Even then, my eyes naturally drifted to the pale, defenseless skin visible through the gaps in the fabric.
'Ahem. Very nice.'
I swallowed the leisurely thought.
But.
'I really need her to calm down.'
If we were going to talk, I first had to stop her from shaking like that.
The moment the thought finished.
Ding—!
A new system window popped up in the corner of my vision.
Would you like to calm the target?
[YES / NO]
I chose YES without hesitation.
'Did it work?'
To check for any change, I spoke carefully again.
"Um..."
"No!!!!"
A scream loud enough to burst my eardrums flew at me the instant I opened my mouth.
"You...! How dare you crawl into Our bedchamber last night and do those horrible things to Us...!"
The empress shrieked, her neck flushed crimson with humiliation.
It was so absurd that my resentful true feelings slipped out before I could stop them.
"No, it wasn't me. You were the one who jumped me first..."
"That's not true!!!!"
She cut me off with a furious roar before I could finish.
"There is no way We would ever do that! You vile wretch must have used some despicable trick on Us!"
While she was huffing and pointing accusingly, her gaze accidentally landed on the 'thing' poking out from under the blanket between my legs.
"...!"
Her entire body froze.
The momentum she'd had while yelling vanished. A bright flush raced up her pale neck.
Gulp.
In the suddenly silent room, the sound of her slender throat swallowing was startlingly loud.
"Haaang...! Our first experience...!"
Only moments after swallowing at the sight of my cock, she burst into tears again.
"To a man with... something that looks so weird... hic."
'...It's my first time hearing that too, you know.'
I scratched my head, swallowing a short internal complaint.
"Look, I get that you're upset, but please just calm down..."
"Stay back!"
Before I could finish, she yanked the blanket over herself.
She wrapped it tightly around her body and curled into the corner of the bed like a giant caterpillar.
'Sigh... We can't talk like this.'
As I pressed a hand to my forehead in frustration.
Ding—!
A new system window flashed before my eyes.
Would you like to kiss the target?
[YES / NO]
'!!!!! What the hell?!'
The popup appeared at the worst possible moment.
But after a brief moment of panic.
'Hmm... should I try it?'
A strange curiosity slowly rose inside me.
'Wait, is this really the right mood for that?'
My survival instincts made me shake my head, but then.
'Well... the system window appeared, so there must be a reason.'
A fierce internal debate raged for a few seconds.
I made up my mind and shouted into the air.
"Yes!"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The red caterpillar in the corner jumped in fright at my sudden loud voice.
But my eyes were fixed only on the translucent window.
The second line that completely floored me came next.
Then do your best to achieve it.
'...?'
"...Yes?"
'What the hell?! It's not going to do it for me?!'
While I was blurting out stupid sounds into the air.
The empress in the corner was slowly starting to boil over.
"Not only did you steal Our first time... now you openly insult Us...!"
Her rage had gone beyond humiliation into something murderous.
The moment I saw veins bulging on the back of her delicate hand gripping the blanket, a chill ran down my spine with the realization that I might actually die if this continued.
'What?!'
I didn't have time to think.
Pure reflex sent me lunging across the bed, pinning her beneath me.
"Mmph...! Mmmph!"
Her mouth opened in shock.
I pushed my tongue straight through that defenseless, hot gap.
Her slender hands pounded frantically against my chest.
Even when her sharp fangs threatened to bite, I ignored them, sweeping across the roof of her mouth and tangling our saliva deeper.
"Mmm... ngh, haa..."
At first her resistance was fierce, as if she wanted to kill me.
But the hotter our breaths mixed, the more her rigid body melted helplessly.
Her shoulders gradually went limp.
The hands that had been pushing me away lost all strength and instead clutched my clothes with desperate longing.
Her mind tried to push me away in shame, but her body instinctively burned hotter, wrapping her tongue around mine first—an utterly dizzying push and pull.
The wet, obscene sound of saliva mixing and her sweet, nasal moans filled the room.
Target has been calmed.
'She... she is calmed, right...?'
I pulled my lips away, breathing hard.
A sticky strand of saliva stretched between us before finally snapping.
"Haa... haa..."
Her eyes were half-glazed as she panted.
But the moment reason began returning to those wet eyes.
"Again...! Again...! You took my... my first...!"
After eagerly tangling tongues with me moments ago, she turned bright red with shame and indignation as if nothing had happened.
"Enough! Just calm down already!"
My patience finally snapped and I shouted firmly.
"...!"
The empress flinched at the force of it.
She stopped yelling and simply clutched the blanket, staring up at me with a mixture of resentment and bewilderment.
'Whew. Looks like she's finally calmed down.'
I let out a mental sigh of relief and spoke carefully.
"First, my name is Kang Hyun-woo."
She glared at me warily for a moment before reluctantly answering.
"...We are Erzsébet Erna."
'Just as I thought. She's the Erna from that damn eroge gacha game, Empire Harem Chronicles.'
'Okay, we've introduced ourselves. Now how the hell do I fix this insane situation?'
My mind was spinning with desperate thoughts when, completely against my will, my mouth opened on its own.
"Last night... it was really amazing."
"...??!!"
Her jaw dropped in pure shock.
But my insane mouth showed no sign of stopping.
It was like a forced event cutscene from the game had activated.
"Being with you made me so happy. You are my only destiny. From now on, forever by my side..."
'No, you crazy bastard! Shut up!'
I was screaming internally, but my lips kept smoothly delivering one cheesy romantic line after another.
"My radiant sun, my life's only salvation. A world without you is now impossible to imagine even for a single day."
'Uweeegh!! Somebody save me!!'
My brain was already rolling on the floor dry-heaving at the cringeworthy lines.
As if completely betraying my sanity, my body went even further, putting on the sweetest melodramatic gaze and gently reaching out to her.
"Will you stay with me forever? Will you become my one and only companion?"
The empress's face, which had been frozen in shock, reacted strangely.
Instead of slapping my outstretched hand away, her blue eyes that had been shaking like an earthquake slowly lowered.
From her slender neck to her earlobes, her pale skin flushed bright red as if doused in crimson paint.
The blanket she'd pulled up like a shield trembled.
Then the white fingers fidgeting at the edge slowly emerged.
"...Hng."
A tiny nasal sound.
Her soft, warm palm gently settled on top of my outstretched hand.
'...70?! It jumped straight to 70?!'
My brain was about to explode from confusion.
The empress kept her head down, cheeks burning scarlet, fidgeting with the blanket. Then she whispered in an extremely shy, tiny voice.
"Y-yes..."
'Wait, she's actually accepting?!'
Completely unaware of my inner panic, she suddenly threw off the blanket she'd been wrapped in.
Flutter.
With her eyes squeezed shut, she completely dropped her defenses, as if saying I could do whatever I wanted.
Her pale naked body filled my vision.
"N-no! Clothes! Put some clothes on first!"
I yelped in panic.
Only then did she realize her state. Her white skin instantly turned beet red.
In her embarrassment she waved her hand in the air, and.
Flash—!
A brilliant light.
A luxurious red dress instantly materialized over her bare body through magic.
"Ahem, hm!"
She cleared her throat, trying to look composed.
She slowly moved closer and sat down very primly beside me on the edge of the bed, knees together.
The distance between us had become awkwardly close.
I was sitting there dumbfounded, trying to process this whole insane situation, when a pleasant sweet scent suddenly hit my nose.
I turned my head without thinking and leaned in, sniffing toward the source—her.
"Y-you...!"
Her shoulders stiffened in surprise at the sudden closeness.
She started to scold me out of habit, then frantically shook her head.
She seemed to be desperately holding back her true nature. Finally she lowered her head until even her scalp was red.
While fidgeting with the hem of her dress, a voice as quiet as an ant crawling whispered.
"H-husband... dear..."