Blood, Vengeance, and the Woman in the Mirror
When the snow melted, that place was Seol-guk. I remembered exactly who she was. Right, she wasn't directly involved in that incident with me. But in a way, she might have been the one most deeply connected to it.
"I was on the fence, but thanks to you, I remember now. You should've watched your mouth—you crossed the line."
"That's an interesting way to put it, sunbae. Or should I say, Seol-guk-ssi."
"You're the junior who was with Kang Seong-hye back then, right?"
"You remember well."
"Thanks to how desperately you thrashed around, begging to be remembered."
"Yeah, I'm glad you do. I was planning to write an article about that whole mess just as it happened, so it would've been a shame if the person involved had forgotten. You assault guy."
Assault. What a joke. That wasn't assault. It was just a righteous expression of anger.
"Kang Seong-hye was the one who slapped me first, clearly."
"Does that make it okay for you to slap a woman back?"
"Why didn't she think she'd get hit if she struck first?"
Right. Strictly speaking, I was the one who got hit first. Jin Seo-hye then shouted in a voice thick with rage.
"You outed her first!"
"Kang Seong-hye was the one who spread it around the department that I was an orphan."
As our argument heated up, the eyes of the surrounding writers and reporters turned to us. But Jin Seo-hye didn't care and kept venting her fury. Was she prepared to lose her job? I couldn't understand it.
Yeah, it wouldn't be easy to follow this conversation. Naturally, even before enlisting, I didn't have a great reputation in the department. There were plenty of girls who would cry and tremble at my critiques during workshop sessions. Kang Seong-hye was one of them.
I don't know how she found out, but Kang Seong-hye spread the fact that I was an orphan throughout the department. It was something I'd kept hidden. In revenge, I exposed her secret. It was a story Kang Hwa-won had heard from a girl in the department she'd slept with. Kang Seong-hye was a lesbian.
The moment I revealed it, she came running at me in tears and slapped me. I slapped her right back. At the core, I'd only returned the attack she'd started first. In the end, my already poor reputation hit rock bottom. Hers wasn't any better.
Kang Seong-hye dropped out after that, and I enlisted. That was the whole incident.
But there was one person missing from that story, someone I hadn't realized until today. Kang Seong-hye was a lesbian. Which meant she had a partner somewhere. That was Jin Seo-hye.
Back then, I didn't know who the partner was, but considering how much Jin Seo-hye hated me—her closest friend—it was obvious now.
"None of this would've happened if you hadn't acted like that in workshop."
"So, was there something wrong with my critique? I was just being rational. A bit honest, maybe."
"Honest? That's just rude and disrespectful! That attitude of yours, insisting you're never wrong to the end! Do you have any idea how awful that is? You think it's okay to mock and belittle people just because they're women? I could tell reading that disgusting novel of yours. Abandoned by your mom, huh? Is that the root of your woman-hating? Still can't get over Mommy?"
"I don't call it woman-hating. I just hate humans who deserve it."
"That's your story, sure."
"That's why I hate women like you."
"You! Do you even know what happened to Seong-hye?"
"No. And I don't care."
"Seong-hye killed herself. Because of you!"
"Is that so?"
Irritation was starting to build. Yeah, so that woman killed herself. Outed by me. What did she expect me to do? She was the one who'd messed with me first.
"You... saying that now? A person died?"
"What, did you think I'd mourn at her grave? Or resurrect her for you?"
"You're... a demon! The one who should've died is scum like you!"
Yeah, maybe I should've been the one to die. But right here, right now, I was the one alive, and Kang Seong-hye had chosen death. It had nothing to do with me anymore.
I gathered my things and stood. "I'm leaving. This isn't leading anywhere productive. I won't stop you from writing about the interview, but if this conversation goes public, I'll respond legally..."
That was the moment. As I rose, a powerful dizziness hit me. I grabbed the chair and collapsed.
Everyone had been watching us already, so of course they all saw it. But for some reason, their faces looked grave.
"What..."
Then I realized. Something was dripping from my face. Had I hit my head? No.
It was blood. But not from a single wound. Blood was pouring from my nose.
Soon, violent nausea hit, and I vomited. With nothing in my stomach, it was just blood and bile.
"Call 119! Hurry!"
Su-young sunbae's shout echoed painfully in my head. I couldn't hold my body anymore; my mind was fading fast.
Su-young sunbae was holding me. But the last thing I saw before blacking out wasn't her face.
It was Jin Seo-hye's—properly shocked, but smiling.
I should've stopped the pointless argument and left sooner. No, I never should've come here.
If I'd known a department junior was a reporter, I should've bailed.
Would things have been different? Who knows.
I blacked out.
~ As I emerged from the long border tunnel, there was Seol-guk. It was the opening line of the novel I hated most.
When I came to, the first thing I saw was, naturally, the hospital ceiling. They'd called 119, so of course I was in a hospital. My whole body ached. Whatever illness had felled me, it was clearly serious. I couldn't move properly.
I barely turned my head, and my eyes met a nurse who had just opened the door. She stiffened at my surely grimacing face, then shut the door and left.
I tried to call her back, but my throat hurt too much to speak.
After a while, a doctor entered with several nurses.
"Ah, Seol-guk-ssi. Is that you? No need to answer. If yes, blink twice."
Thankfully, the doctor didn't demand I speak right away. I blinked twice.
The doctor pressed a stethoscope to my chest, checking my heartbeat. Then he said, "Seol-guk patient, this will be hard to accept, but please stay calm and listen."
His grave tone scared me. Was it terminal? Life-threatening?
"Fortunately, your condition is stable. There's some pain now, but you'll recover soon. No threat to your life."
He dismissed my fears. Good. So why say it like it was shocking?
"It's a rare disease most people don't know: Sudden Gender Transformation Syndrome. There are about three cases in Korea. I'm sorry, but that's your diagnosis."
Sudden Gender Transformation Syndrome? What the hell was that?
What was the doctor even saying?
"In simple terms... you've become a woman now. Hard to believe, I know."
He had to be joking. What nonsense was this?
Maybe reading my expression, he sighed. "Nurse, hold her for a moment."
Why? I couldn't move anyway. Did he think I'd freak out?
The nurses grabbed my arms. Another handed the doctor a small mirror.
When he held it up, the first thing I felt was nausea. It surged up, horrific.
I was gone from the mirror. Just a strange woman stared back.
I couldn't accept it, and that's why they were holding me. No one could stay calm seeing this.
"Heartbeat spiking!"
"Sedatives, now."
I don't know. Even the pain faded as I convulsed, feeling the drugs enter me. I blacked out again, falling back into sleep.