Chapter 175
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 175
“Are you really going to drink?”
“Do I look like I’m faking it?”
While the other members were busy opening snacks and setting the table, Jeong Da-jun stood there hesitating, staring at the endless line of bottles.
Ever since I’d started giving off a cold aura a while back, he seemed worried.
“What do you want to drink? I just bought whatever was available for now.”
“Whoa, there’s really a lot.”
“We’re drinking until we drop today.”
Thinking back, this was the longest hiatus we’d had since I arrived here—even if it wasn’t intentional.
At this rate, it was obvious our next comeback preparations wouldn’t go smoothly. I figured everyone needed a chance to blow off some steam and have a heart-to-heart.
“I’ll… just have a little bit.”
“Oh? Really?”
As soon as he turned of age, he’d proudly marched out with his ID to buy a can of beer and sip on it. Of course, he ended up throwing it all away with a grimace because it tasted bad.
In response to Seong Ji-won’s question, the youngest just nodded with his lips pressed tight.
Even so, his darting eyes betrayed his lingering curiosity.
Do I really have to act like this even in the dorm…?
But looking at Jeong Da-jun’s face, the decision was easy.
I nudged Da-jun’s leg with my foot and whispered softly.
“Hey.”
“Wh-what is it?”
Sensing something suspicious, Jeong Da-jun flinched and backed away slightly. I let a wicked smirk play on my lips.
“Want me to show you something fun?”
Let me liven up the mood for you.
.
.
.
Splash!!
“Whoa!! Whoaaa!!”
After shaking the beer bottle and firing it into the glass, the shot glass of soju plunged in with a perfect plop.
I wiped the moisture off my hands and grinned.
“The cheering is a bit weak.”
“Hyung! That was seriously so, so, so cool!!”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“Whoa~! Ho-yun is the best!!”
Jeong Da-jun, completely mesmerized by my performance, hopped around with his hands over his mouth.
His cheeks were beet red and his speech was slurred; he was clearly wasted. I pushed the youngest, who was clinging to me and whining for a repeat performance, toward Kim Seong-hyeon, but the leader was already out of it too.
“Hyung! Teach me!!”
“Eh? I’m not Seo Ho-yun, though?”
“Oh, right!? It’s Light Seong-hyeon!”
“Am I… am I glowing?”
I left the two of them to giggle at each other.
Jeong Da-jun picked up a cold corn dog he’d abandoned halfway and, holding it with both hands, mimicked Kim Seong-hyeon’s final speech from the awards.
“The five of us will always be together.”
“……??”
“Because 5 minus 1 is… 0….”
“……Jeong Da-jun…!!”
Even drunk, it seemed he was still embarrassed by the teasing.
Kim Seong-hyeon, his ears turning bright red, gritted his teeth.
Regardless, the lively atmosphere finally made it feel like the usual The Dawn.
“Those two are really all over each other….”
Da-jun was gone, and Seong-hyeon was gone.
Now only two remained.
I bypassed Seong Ji-won, who was cheerfully mixing Kaoliang liquor and soju with a clear face, and set my sights on Kang Yi-chae, who was cackling at the other two.
“Pick up your glass. I’ll fill it.”
“Eh~? No, I’m good.”
“Opportunities like this don’t come often.”
I was shaking the soju bottle to gauge the angle, but Kang Yi-chae was being slippery and avoiding it.
What’s with him?
He’d stayed right by my side during the Shining Star Season 1 after-party.
As I searched my memories, it suddenly clicked.
“……Ah.”
Back then, he hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol.
I hadn’t noticed because he acted like a drunkard even when he was stone-cold sober.
“You hyungs drink~. I’ll just enjoy the show from the side.”
The moment I realized that, my eyes gleamed.
This is my chance.
Normally, I wasn’t the type to force someone to drink if they didn’t want to, but this was Kang Yi-chae. A petty desire to mess with him as much as he’d stressed me out surged within me.
‘Seong Ji-won.’
= Let’s take him down.
Seong Ji-won, who had gone through various things with Kang Yi-chae recently, caught my eye and put on a mischievous expression.
‘Okay!’
= Roger that!
Then, he tapped Kang Yi-chae on the arm.
“Ahaha, Yi-chae, just have one drink with me.”
“……What?”
The support had arrived.
Not missing the moment Kang Yi-chae faltered at Seong Ji-won’s uncharacteristic behavior, I quickly filled a glass.
Even though Seong Ji-won could clearly see what I was doing from his angle, he just kept his gentle smile.
“The alcohol content shouldn’t be that high. I want to have a toast with Yi-chae too.”
“Hey, Kang Yi-chae. Seong Ji-won is asking so nicely, just have one.”
“…….”
In that moment, we were two devious snakes.
The formidable rapper sensed something was off as he looked at our smirking faces and furrowed his brows.
“No.”
“Well, if Yi-chae doesn’t want to, I guess there’s nothing I can do…….”
“…….”
“Are you still really mad at me?”
When Seong Ji-won openly cast his gaze down with a sorrowful look, Kang Yi-chae ground his teeth.
“Man, I really hate this combination.”
“Whyyy?”
“……If I drink this, you’ll stop bothering me, right?”
Finally, as if giving in to the obvious trap, he let out a deep sigh and downed the glass in one go.
“Our Yi-chae is a good drinker.”
“Why is soju so bitter?”
“Isn’t it just because you haven’t had it in a while? Want some water?”
“Really?”
That was a lie.
That was Yeon-O Kaoliang liquor. 38% ABV.
Five minutes later.
“Ah…….”
The smile had vanished from Kang Yi-chae’s face. His entire face was flushed red as he held his forehead with a blank expression.
Looking like that, he looked exactly like a delinquent.
“You… people… this is 38 percent!!”
“Pffft. Hey, are you sure you aren’t just misreading it because you’re drunk?”
“Seo Ho-yuuuun…….”
An infuriated Kang Yi-chae started dropping the honorifics and speaking informally. I coolly let it slide.
In fact, I even caught him when he tried to stand up to go to his room and stumbled. Though, of course, I was cackling the whole time.
“Is it fun? Is it fuuuun?? I have a low tolerance.”
“Sure, sure. Hyung was wrong.”
“Seo-something, you’re so annoying….”
I tossed the mumbling Kang Yi-chae, who had his eyes half-closed, into the pile of Kim Seong-hyeon and Jeong Da-jun.
“Gah!! He’s heavy!”
Though they snapped and grumbled at first, they soon went back to playing rowdily.
“Hyung, hyung! Want to play Halli Galli??”
“Halli Galli…? Where are we going?”
“Eh, you don’t know? You never played with friends?”
“Hey, I don’t have friends, so I don’t know stuff like this….”
Perhaps getting sleepy as the alcohol kicked in, Kang Yi-chae mumbled while rubbing his eyes.
They say there’s truth in wine; his true feelings were pouring out.
Hearing that, Jeong Da-jun clenched his fists.
“Yi-chae hyung, I’ll be your friend! Seong-hyeon hyung, hurry up and be our delinquent’s friend too.”
“Of course! Kang Yi-chae and I are friends!!”
“Ugh….”
“No, no, it’s okay if you don’t have friends. I’ll teach you! When five fruits appear, you hit the bell fast! Super fast, tap-tap-tap! You can do that even without friends!”
“Really?”
Seeming a bit intrigued, Kang Yi-chae sat bolt upright.
“I can really do it even without friends?”
“Kang Yi-chae, I’ll show you.”
Kim Seong-hyeon grabbed Kang Yi-chae’s arm and headed for the kitchen. They sat across from each other at the dining table. Jeong Da-jun followed them and began dealing cards one by one. Soon, the sound of giggling over the bell echoed out.
Having watched the whole process, Seong Ji-won burst into laughter.
“Doesn’t that game require friends in the end anyway?”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Could there be a more wholesome drinking session in the world?
Watching them play like children was funny, and it seemed to put my mind at ease.
As I sat there blankly with my chin in my hand, Seong Ji-won poured a drink into an empty glass.
Glug, glug.
“Good job, Ho-yun.”
“…….”
“You’ve been through a lot lately.”
Instead of answering, I scanned Seong Ji-won’s face and asked, “I heard you fought with Kang Yi-chae?”
“Just a difference of opinion, that’s all.”
The others didn’t seem to think so….
Seong Ji-won brushed back the hair falling over his forehead and grinned.
He always radiated a soft aura, but he looked even more relaxed now.
“Still, they’re all really good kids. We can respect whatever each other does.”
“……Right.”
“I’m happy to be a member of The Dawn with all of you.”
Seong Ji-won filled his water glass with vodka and downed it in one gulp.
“I hope you feel the same way.”
The corners of Seong Ji-won’s eyes crinkled softly.
To the very end, he didn’t bring up my family matters.
Even though he’d hugged me and sobbed as if it were his own tragedy during the acceptance speech.
He had simply chosen to stay by my side until I was okay, rather than using words.
“Let’s take it slow.”
See? He’s doing it even now.
I barely managed to lift the corners of my mouth.
“I should probably clean up a bit. You’re done drinking, right?”
“Mm. Leave it. Let’s do it together later.”
Leaving behind Seong Ji-won, who was chuckling at me, I stood up.
Slide.
I pulled the curtain aside, stepped out onto the balcony, and sat on a chair. It was a chair Jeong Da-jun had brought in when he was obsessed with interior design after we first got the dorm.
I opened my front pocket and took out the pack of cigarettes and the lighter Im Hyeon-su had given me at the drinking session.
Thin menthols. I could feel her malicious intent, wishing for me to fail at quitting.
I pulled one out and put it between my lips.
However, I didn’t light it; I just flicked the lighter, watching the sparks fly.
“Sigh…….”
I’d been holding out well until now.
With the thought that I was getting a bit tired, I felt the impulse to smoke just one.
All I had to do was light it and inhale through the filter.
Slide.
“Heol! Hyung!”
But that contemplation didn’t last long.
Jeong Da-jun, who had opened the balcony door, widened his eyes and pointed a finger at me.
“Heol-laeng!! That’s too much!!”
“Hey, hey. Be quiet.”
“You’ve been holding out so well, why are you doing that?!”
The heavily intoxicated maknae swayed, unable to even steady his body properly.
As Da-jun’s gaze turned away to close the balcony door, stumbling over his own feet several times, I quickly tossed the cigarette behind me and pulled a lollipop out of my pocket.
“Jeong Da-jun, look. It’s a candy stick.”
“Eh…… Ah? Oh, it is?”
Like hell it is.
After tilting his head a few times, Jeong Da-jun slowly approached me.
“Are you sober, hyung? To be honest… I’m confused right now if you’re Seo Ho-yun, or Ji-won hyung, or Seong-hyeon hyung, or Yi-chae hyung.”
“Really? You’re plenty confused, then.”
“Right?? Isn’t that a bit much?? Besides, Yi-chae hyung is super drunk right now!”
You’re drunk too, you brat.
Jeong Da-jun, mumbling to himself, stomped his feet.
Then, he slumped down against the wall, buried his face in his knees, and began to nod off.
“Hey, go to sleep.”
“……I’m not sleepy.”
Like a father who claims he’s not sleeping the moment you try to turn off the TV, he remained stubborn even when I nudged him with my toe. As I wondered how to drag this guy to bed, Jeong Da-jun suddenly lifted his face and rubbed his eyes.
“…Hyung, actually, I couldn’t say anything because I was afraid I’d get in trouble, but I called Ho-jin hyung before.”
“…….”
“Because I was worried something bad might happen.”
Despite my lingering gaze, Jeong Da-jun yawned nonchalantly.
“Yawn, I know you’re… the kind of person who isn’t afraid of anything in the world…. But it’s scary for the people watching whenever you’re like that.”
I knew what he was trying to say, but his sentences were fragmented and lacked context.
“And… also.”
I didn’t know if he’d even remember what he said once he sobered up, but Jeong Da-jun finished his thought regardless.
“You don’t have to take us on a rollercoaster….”
I toyed with the lighter in my hand.
“Jeong Da-jun.”
There was no answer.
He had fallen asleep.
“Jeong Da-jun, you sleeping?”
I called his name a few more times, but it was the same.
“……You sure fall asleep fast.”
Seriously, has this kid not changed at all from a year ago…?
I thought that, then recalled the unit competition and took it back.
Jeong Da-jun had changed.
Just like everyone else had.
“What do you mean, something bad….”
Click.
Click.
In the darkness, the flame flickered on and off repeatedly.
“…Da-jun.”
I muttered while repeating the foolish action.
“I have things I’m afraid of too.”
The most terrifying possibility of all.
It was likely my greatest fear and my biggest secret.
Something scarier than my parents’ accident, the recurring nightmares, or Seo Ho-jin’s anger.
Something I could never tell anyone.
How could I ever reveal it?
That I’m going crazy with fear because I don’t know if my brother is still left behind in the world I came from.
Certainly, a Seo Ho-jin who remembers me exists here.
But if that’s not everything—if Seo Ho-jin is left there all alone, wandering in search of me, and if my absence becomes a wound to him.
Whenever I thought about how I was irresponsibly leaving that kid behind and doing well here on my own, I became infinitely afraid.
I want to go back.
“…….”
And I want confirmation.
That I was worrying over nothing.
“Sigh…….”
I wiped my face with my hand. I must have had too much to drink today.
What a pathetic mess….
With a sigh, I put down the lighter and crushed the cigarette pack in my grip. The impulse vanished as easily as it had come.
After a moment’s hesitation, I picked up my phone and sent a text to Seo Ho-jin.
[Me: Have you eaten?]
Despite the late hour, a reply came back immediately.
[Damn Little Brother: y]
Then why did you tell me to stay in touch?
Just as I was about to turn off the phone, more messages from Seo Ho-jin arrived.
[Damn Little Brother: I miss you]
I paused for a moment.
He had never been like this before.
[Damn Little Brother: But you’re so annoying I don’t want to see you]
“Pffft.”
I chuckled while rubbing my forehead and sent a reply.
[Me: Pick one, you punk]
[Me: Also, my face is very expensive to see]
After reading the trivial messages a few more times, I smacked my lips and tapped the shoulder of the dozing Jeong Da-jun. Since he still showed no signs of waking up, I pinched both his cheeks.
“Jeong Da-jun, go inside and sleep.”
“Ugh…….”
“Hurry.”
Wincing in pain, Jeong Da-jun rubbed his cheeks and stumbled inside without even opening his eyes.
Left alone after kicking out the uninvited guest, I opened the balcony window. Even though it was the middle of the night, the damp, heavy air of the approaching summer clung to my arms.
“It’s hot.”
In the distance, the sky was beginning to take on a reddish hue.
It was all too vivid to just dismiss as a game or to think it would be over once the scenario was complete.
I have to go back.
The current me occasionally felt my arms go numb, my breath catch, and even my long-lost conscience return from time to time.
Even so, the fact that I lived as a reckless piece of trash wouldn’t change.
And though I missed the photos of my family that had disappeared from my phone’s gallery.
“You punk.”
It didn’t matter.
“I miss you too.”
I intend to see this through to the very end, no matter what.