Who Said Anything About Half?

Shhhk—

"Aaaargh! You crazy bastard!"

Even though he was supposedly one of the central pillars of the clan, an Elder no less, his tolerance for pain was practically nonexistent. The moment steel grazed his skin a second time, he writhed and thrashed like a landed fish. Then again, what else could one expect from cloistered scholars who spent their entire lives shut away in solitary rooms reading ancient scrolls? It wasn't as if a pampered gentleman like him had ever tasted real agony before.

"If you can't answer properly this time, it's just going to make things difficult for both of us, so let's settle it in one go. What, exactly, is your relationship with those two?"

Yet for whatever reason, the old man stubbornly refused to come clean.

"I had no hidden motives... I merely hired them as g-guards..."

"You could at least look me in the eye when you lie. Good grief, this is the fatal flaw of people who do nothing but study. No creativity. Zero imagination."

Realizing his pathetic excuses weren't getting him anywhere, he shifted tactics and attempted to intimidate me instead.

"D-Do you truly believe you will walk away from this unscathed?! Even the Clan Leader will never forgive you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for this...!!"

"Guess you really don't want to talk."

I slowly, deliberately lowered the hand holding the dagger.

"You know, even if you keep your mouth shut, I have plenty of ways to find out everything anyway."

As the cold blade continued its uninterrupted descent, a visceral dread seized him, and he shrieked in mounting panic.

"Why are you lowering that... H-Hold on! Stop! Stop!!"

The tip came to a halt. Not at his stomach, and not at his thighs either.

Right between them. Right at his groin.

To put it bluntly, his family jewels. The sacred, indispensable emblem of a man's identity. Staring down at it, a sudden, morbid curiosity bubbled up inside me. What would happen if that were suddenly sliced away?

"Now then, my dear Elder. This is your very last chance, so you'd better choose your words carefully. Understand?"

Only when he realized that I was entirely capable of going through with it did he begin frantically trying to win me over.

"W-Wait just a moment!! Tell me, don't you desire a prestigious position within the clan? I can arrange it! I can make you someone of importance!! Ah, yes! My granddaughter turns—"

To think that was the best he could come up with. Listen to him prattle on—anyone eavesdropping would think I was the villain here. Well... even if I wasn't an angel, I certainly wasn't as wicked as this lot. Ahem.

"None of what you've offered sounds particularly appealing to me, I'm afraid."

"Wait, hold on—"

"I should just cut it off."

The moment I cocked my wrist as if about to plunge the blade straight down, the Elder squeezed his eyes shut and screamed at the top of his lungs.

"I-In that case!! I will give you half—f-fifty percent of my entire fortune! W-What do you say?!"

"Who said anything about fifty percent?"

"......?"

A heavy, suffocating silence dropped over the room. I casually tossed the dagger across the floor, letting it clatter into the corner, and clenched my knuckles until they popped.

"You're a hopeless case. You just need a damn good thrashing."

Watching the dagger tumble away, a wave of profound relief washed over his face, as if he were thanking the heavens that he hadn't lost his most precious possession. But that relief was extraordinarily short-lived. The second I seized him by the collar and hoisted a fist high into the air, panic seized him anew, and he began bidding against himself like a deranged merchant.

"I-If that's not enough money, sixty percent... no, seventy! E-Eighty percent?! Fine! Let us make it ninety percent!!"

The numbers kept climbing, but illicit wealth like that was bound to give a man fatal indigestion sooner or later.

"If you feel like you're about to die while I'm beating you... just raise your hand. I'll stop swinging then."

"W-Wait, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠just listen to me for one sec—"

Whoosh—

Thud! Crack! Bam!

By the time I finally lowered my arms, he was sprawled out cold on the floorboards, completely knocked out.

"Phew... Well, that certainly vented all the stress I couldn't work off earlier."

What? You're asking if the real reason I beat him senseless was because he didn't give me the reaction I wanted to my joke? ...Of course not. Don't be ridiculous.

Still, maybe I had gotten a little carried away in the heat of the moment. Not only was his face battered into an unrecognizable crimson mash, but the distinct imprint of my knuckles was visibly stamped into his swollen cheek.

"...Did I overdo it? He was ugly to begin with, but this is downright tragic."

Even so, this bastard had hired assassins to murder me, so I consoled myself with the thought that he had gotten off light. Just as I was rationalizing my handiwork, the parting words I had offered him flashed across my mind.

'Just raise your hand. I'll stop swinging then.'

I stared down at the unconscious heap, bound securely from head to toe in thick hemp rope.

"...Right. He was tied up, so he couldn't have raised his hands even if he wanted to."

Looking at his battered visage with that realization in mind, he did appear rather pitiful. But spilled water couldn't be gathered back into the cup. In the end, I decided to take the comfortable route and chalk it up to karmic retribution.

"Ahem. Setting that aside, what do I do with him now? It's not like I can wake up someone who's been beaten to a pulp just by hitting him again."

As I pondered my options, a conspicuous square bulge caught my eye through the lapels of his shredded robe. Reaching in, I pulled out a compact wooden box.

"What the hell is this?"

Click—

The lid popped open, and the instant I laid eyes on its contents, whatever lingering speck of sympathy I had felt evaporated on the spot.

"This absolute son of a bitch..."

Nestled inside the velvet-lined box were Gu insects. And not just one, but several of them squirming vilely in the dark. Gu was a parasitic poison used to bind a servant's loyalty through sheer terror—a depraved method almost exclusively favored by the Unorthodox Sects.

The principle was brutally simple. A pair of male and female insects were bred together. The master would force the target to ingest one of them, rendering the victim entirely incapable of defying orders. If the victim showed the slightest inkling of rebellion, the master could torment the corresponding insect left in his possession, causing unimaginable agony to tear through the victim's innards. Distance offered no sanctuary; born as an inseparable pair, whenever one suffered, the other would thrash in resonance, driving the carrier into excruciating convulsions.

If I had fallen into this trap and swallowed one unawares, I would have spent the rest of my miserable days as this old bastard's obedient puppet.

"Yeah, you definitely have a few more punches coming your way."

Just as I raised my fist to deliver another round, a truly magnificent idea struck me like a flash of divine inspiration.

He was fully prepared to shove these things down my throat... so what was stopping me from feeding them to him instead?

The sheer brilliance of the thought made a wicked grin split my lips unbidden.

"...Hehehe."

I reached into the box, pinched one of the writhing parasites between two fingers, and leaned over his battered face. Prying his slack jaw open with my other hand, I whispered with warm benevolence:

"People ought to help each other out in this world, don't you think? Don't worry, I won't make you eat alone, so don't feel too left out. Come on now, say ahhh~"

Gulp—

Having safely deposited the payload, I turned my gaze toward the two trembling assassins bound tightly against the wall.

"You two understand where I'm coming from, don't you?"

Meanwhile, in her private quarters, Jegal So-yeong lay buried beneath a thick layer of quilts, refusing to emerge.

Anxious after seeing her mistress remain bedridden for hours on end, Yeon-hee brought in a tray laden with all of So-yeong's favorite delicacies.

"Milady, why do you insist on staying in bed? You must eat at least a few spoonfuls, please?"

"...I'm sorry. I just don't have an appetite."

Her weak, dispirited murmur only deepened the maid's worry. To Yeon-hee, Jegal So-yeong was far more than an aristocratic mistress; having grown up by her side since childhood, she was practically a sister.

"...Don't tell me your new master subjected you to corporal punishment?!"

Considering her mistress had ended up in this bizarre state immediately after Jeong Ho-yeon's visit, it was only natural for Yeon-hee to suspect the worst.

Beneath the blankets, So-yeong stiffened visibly.

"N-No, that's not it."

Hearing that uncharacteristically frail, trembling denial only hardened the maid's conviction.

"This is outrageous! I cannot let this stand. I am going straight to the Clan Leader to tell him everything—"

Just as Yeon-hee turned and reached for the door handle, a slender hand shot out from beneath the covers and clamped around her wrist.

Grab—

"Milady...?"

"...I told you, I am fine. There is no need to speak of this to anyone."

However, to claim she was 'fine' was an obvious lie when her entire face was flushed a vibrant, burning crimson.

"Milady, your fever is dreadfully high...!! Stay right there, I shall fetch a physician immediately!!"

Left alone once more as the panicked maid dashed outside, So-yeong pressed both trembling palms against her burning cheeks, murmuring into the empty room:

"Right. This is just a fever. It couldn't possibly be... anything else..."

Like someone chanting a desperate protective spell, she repeated the exact same words over and over again into the silence.

Back in the secluded chamber, Elder Jegal San slowly peeled his bruised eyelids open, only to be greeted by a thoroughly surreal spectacle.

"Oh, you're finally awake? I already untied your ropes, so hurry up and get over here on your knees with the rest of them."

Before him, the two elite assassins he had hired with exorbitant sums of gold were kneeling side by side, their faces pale with unadulterated terror.

"W-What in the world is..."

"Why are you moving like a turtle? Maybe a little encouragement will put some spring in your step."

Squeeze—

"Gaaaaaaargh!!"

The shriek that tore from Jegal San's throat was infinitely more agonizing than the one he had produced during his beating. He clawed at his chest, arching backward as if his vitals were being devoured from the inside out.

"Kh-Kaaahk...!! H-How could you...!!"

"See? Things would have gone much smoother if you had just crawled over when I told you to. As senior disciples who went through this first, what do you two think?"

Ho-yeon lightly pinched the remaining Gu insect inside the open wooden box. The two assassins scrambled to respond in terrified unison:

"W-We wholeheartedly agree!!"

"Absolutely! When Master Ho-yeon calls, it is only natural to obey instantly!! Ahaha..."

Watching their pathetic subservience dredged up memories of the lessons my old poison master from the Tang Clan had drilled into my skull years ago.

If that old lunatic hadn't finally shoved the antidote down my throat that evening, I would have spent my entire life bound as his personal slave.

"...Ugh, just remembering it is pissing me off all over again. That cursed old geezer. It's because of you bastards that I had to remember something I spent years trying to forget! You all agree that using Gu insects makes someone complete scum, right? Speak up!"

All three flinched simultaneously.

"Y-Yes, absolutely!!"

"Using Gu insects is the lowest trick of Unorthodox villains...!!"

"I-I agree entirely...!!"

Before anyone realized it, all three of them were kneeling in a tidy, symmetrical row, their foreheads practically glued to the floorboards.

"So you know you don't have any right to resent me, right? You were the ones who brought Unorthodox tricks into this room first."

"......W-What?"

A moment later, the chamber was filled to the rafters with an agonizing, three-part harmony of bloodcurdling shrieks.

"Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!"