You've Been Kidnapped
As I followed silently behind them, one of the assassins began probing me with an imperceptible trickle of internal energy. He was likely trying to gauge my true depth after whatever display I had put on during the screening test.
A completely futile effort, of course. Contrary to whatever grand delusions they were harboring, my internal cultivation genuinely hovered right around third-rate.
Sensing this almost immediately, he withdrew his energy. I felt a fleeting prickle of indignation at being so blatantly looked down upon, but I couldn't care less. In this vast, boundless Jianghu, having heaps of internal energy wasn't the sole measure of strength anyway.
Throughout my ten years as a wandering mercenary, I had run into this sort of nonsense more times than I could count. And every single time, I offered them the exact same piece of wisdom:
Everyone thinks like you do, right up until they get their teeth kicked in.
It was the guiding maxim that had seen me through the past decade.
That said, I couldn't exactly call it an all-purpose solution under present circumstances. While internal energy wasn't everything, that didn't mean it was irrelevant. Setting aside whatever the elder himself was capable of, the prowess of the two shadows flanking him was the real deal.
The fellow who had just tested me was a first-rate martial artist. That meant he possessed enough command over his inner qi to manipulate it freely at will—the threshold where common folk finally acknowledged someone as a true practitioner of the martial arts. Even so, if it were just a single first-rate fighter, I could have handled him on my own one way or another.
The real problem was the other guy.
From the faint, suffocating presence bleeding off him, he was at the very least first-rate—and quite likely far beyond. I desperately hoped I was mistaken, but if he had crossed into the Peak Realm, he would be on par with the sect leader of a respectable mid-sized sect. In any assassin syndicate, a monster like that would be classified as a top-grade killer.
Unless there was some deeply corrupt transaction between the elder and a band of assassins, there was no earthly reason for killers of that caliber to act as his personal bodyguards.
Guess my only choice is to dig for intel while humoring him in conversation. Haa, this is turning into a massive pain...
Just then, words that Master Zhuge used to drill into me surfaced in my mind.
"Ho-yeon, do you know why I teach you formations?"
"Mm, no clue."
"Everything your other masters teach you is meant solely for subduing or slaughtering another human being."
"Ah, so because Master's martial arts are kind of subpar, you teach me formations instead—"
I had slapped both hands over my mouth, cautiously gauging his reaction. I fully braced myself to get whacked over the head with his iron folding fan, but he merely gazed down at me with an unfazed, gentle expression.
"...Aye, you speak the truth. My martial arts are hardly exceptional; in fact, one might call them thoroughly mediocre."
"Wait, that's not what I meant—"
"However, that is precisely why I teach you formations, Ho-yeon. Martial force is nothing more than a measure of absolute last resort. Violence cannot resolve every problem in this world."
"Mm, I still don't really get it."
He had slowly patted my head.
"You will understand in time, so do not fret."
Just as a tender warmth was beginning to well in my chest, his figure suddenly began to shimmer and dissolve into thin air.
"...Wait, huh? H-Hold on! Don't tell me this is an arr—"
"One must experience all things firsthand to truly comprehend them. Therefore, I have prepared a formation just for you. Well then, I shall see you later. Heh heh."
I was a complete idiot for lowering my guard just because he hadn't pulled out his iron fan that day. I had completely failed to grasp that the old geezer was a lunatic far beyond my wildest imagination.
So, what was I going to do now? Give them a taste of the exact same medicine, of course.
To these bastards, that is. Heh heh heh.
Before I knew it, we had arrived outside his private quarters.
"Let us head inside."
"Yes, Elder."
As the doors swung open, the sight that greeted me left me genuinely stunned.
They say a man lives up to his physiognomy, and sure enough, the sheer extravagance inside made the room look more opulent than the Clan Lord’s private study. If someone had told me this was the head of the household's master chambers, I would have believed them on the spot.
"Are you not coming in?"
"...Ah, yes. Coming right in."
He turned and barked an order to the two behind us. "You two wait outside."
"...Understood."
With that, only the elder and I remained in the room.
"It would be best to converse over a cup of tea. Please, sit wherever you find comfortable."
"Yes, Elder."
Even the chairs looked like something out of an imperial palace. As I took a seat, maids entered and served hot green tea.
Yet for some reason, the aroma smelled oddly familiar.
"It is Enshi Jade Dew. Its fragrance is truly exquisite, so I thought it fitting to share a brew with you."
...Wait, is this Junzi Powder?
Our dear elder wasn't even trying to hide his transparent schemes. Hmmm. Well then, the polite thing to do was play the fool and swallow the bait, wouldn't you say?
"Ah, is that so! Thank you for the tea."
Lifting the porcelain cup unhurriedly, I tipped it back and drank it down without batting an eye.
Clack.
I set the teacup firmly onto the table.
"...The flavor is truly exceptional. I am deeply honored that you would serve me such fine tea. But may I ask what it is you wished to discuss with me...?"
Without a word, he pulled a bulging pouch from his robes and slid it across to me.
"Open it."
Inside lay a neat stack of hefty gold ingots.
"Gasp! W-What in the world is this...?"
"There is a task I require of you. Consider that a mere token of appreciation for your trouble."
"A task...? What kind of task do you mean...?"
Convinced that I had swallowed the hook, a slimy smirk crept across his face as he reached into his robes once more.
"A very simple matter. All you must do is feed this to So-yeong every single day."
What he produced this time was a tiny ceramic vial.
Ten to one, there was lethal poison sloshing around inside.
"Ah~ so you're telling me to secretly slip this into her meals?"
"Precisely. Should you see this through, an even greater reward awaits—"
"No thanks. If it gets discovered, I'll obviously be pinned as the culprit. Why on earth would I do that? Take it back."
"...I shall grant you one more chance. Think carefully and choose—"
"Agh, I said no! Why do you keep repeating yourself? Did old age make you deaf? Haa, let me say it one more time so it sticks: I don't do petty, scumbag work like this. Understood?"
His expression hardened into dead silence before his gaze chilled into an icy glare.
"...Did you truly believe I would let you walk out of here alive? No. From the very instant you stepped into this room, you had no choices left. You will obey my will, and nothing else."
In the blink of an eye, cold steel pressed hard against my throat.
It was the two who had been waiting outside. Yet for some reason, they had shed their human skin masks.
"Ah, and do not bother trying to muster your inner qi. Third-rate though you may be, one can never be too cautious, so I took the liberty of taking precautions."
"...So, what do you plan to do with me?"
"What else is there to do?"
Shhk—!
Thud.
Ho-yeon’s decapitated head lay cold and limp upon the floor.
Elder Zhuge stared down at Ho-yeon’s lifeless corpse with a mock sigh of pity.
"...Had you simply obeyed, you would not have met such a gruesome end. What a pitiable young fool."
And then, a voice that had no business existing echoed right into his ears.
"Man, you really are completely out of your mind. I knew weasel-faced bastards were never to be trusted. Oh? Finally snapping out of it?"
Before Zhuge San's widening eyes stood Ho-yeon—completely intact, without a single scratch on him.
"H-How are you alive?! We clearly severed your head...!"
Worse yet, not only Zhuge San himself, but even the two seasoned assassins were bound tightly from head to toe in thick hemp ropes.
"Why would a perfectly healthy man die, you old coot? If I die before I even get married, are you gonna take responsibility? Still haven't figured out what's going on?"
"Q-Quick, kill that bastard right this instant!!"
Despite his frantic shrieks, the two assassins couldn't even manage to stand up.
"Dying of curiosity, aren't you? Wondering why on earth I'm standing here when you clearly chopped my head off."
To explain this little miracle, we’d have to rewind to before the tea was served.
From the moment I stepped foot into this room, I knew those two assassins had slipped inside right along with us. That was also why they were bare-faced without their human skin masks right now.
However, because both were seasoned killers, deceiving them required lulling them into total complacency. That was why I knowingly downed the poisoned tea.
The exact moment I finished drinking and slammed my cup onto the table, I unleashed a formation.
Specifically, an illusion formation that trapped anyone within a designated boundary in a waking hallucination.
Thanks to that split-second lapse in their guard, the two assassins fell into the trap hook, line, and sinker.
Of course, this old fossil just fell for it instantly without putting up any fight whatsoever.
Having learned the truth, Zhuge San began desperately denying reality.
"I-Impossible! How could a mere third-rate vagabond lay down such an intricate formation?!"
Having someone with such a repulsive face screeching right at me made him look ten times more obnoxious. What was worse, I didn't even have a motorcycle helmet on hand, so I couldn't properly run the Room of Truth.
So I decided to just beat him the old-fashioned way.
SMACK—!
"Guh-k! W-What in the—?!"
SMACK—! SMACK—!
"P-Please, stop..."
As I continued slathering his cheeks with fresh slaps, a dagger resting atop the wall cabinet caught my eye. Pausing the beating for a moment, I walked over and picked it up.
"W-Wait, that is—"
Grabbing a fistful of his hair, I yanked his head back. Slowly, agonizingly, I brought the dagger’s cold edge against his cheek.
"Do you think a lowly rogue like you will walk away unscathed after—"
Sliiiice—
"Aaaaaagh—!!"
A shallow gash bloomed across his flesh, welling with bright red blood.
"Aargh!! M-My face! What have you done to my face—?!"
"Do I still look like a common wandering sellsword to you?"
He squirmed in agony, shrieking at the top of his lungs, but pitifully enough, not a single soul outside could hear him. I had just applied a little improvisation to set up my own custom Room of Truth.
"Kuh... aaagh!"
"Kidnapped...? W-What nonsense are you—"
I thrust the cold blade against his throat once more.
"So spill everything while I'm still asking nicely. Got it?"