Excuse Me, but Which Jeong Clan Are You From?
The moment I was released from the jail cell, I was escorted into a private chamber—likely the district magistrate's personal office.
"P-Please, have a seat here..."
"Don't mind if I do."
The man was treating me with extreme wariness, tension practically oozing from every pore. Seeing the highest official in the local magistrate’s office groveling before me just because I flashed a small token really brought home the staggering influence of the Jegal Clan. I’d only tossed it out on a whim to test the waters, but luckily, the gamble had paid off handsomely.
As I sat quietly in the chair, the magistrate ventured a cautious inquiry.
"Pardon me for asking, but... if you don't mind my presumption, what exactly is your relationship with the Jegal Clan...?"
Although the token I presented marked me as an honored guest, my scruffy, threadbare appearance clearly left him skeptical. To make matters worse, said honored guest had just been hauled in for illicit gambling, so his suspicions were only natural.
Now, how do I spin this...?
Just then, a wooden identification plaque hanging from his waist caught my eye.
Jeong... Mun-sik? So his name is Jeong Mun-sik. Same surname as me...
In a flash, a brilliant scheme to crack this predicament wide open streaked through my mind. I had no idea whether it would actually work, but right now, it was my only shot.
"Ahem. Pardon me, but which branch of the Jeong clan might you hail from?"
Did I really need to bust out that folksy, theatrical tone? Well, obviously. It sounded far more convincing and immediately sparked a sense of shared kin, didn't it?
"I belong to the Jeong clan written with the character for 'nation'... but why do you ask?"
"Ah! And which generation might you be?"
"The thirty-fifth..."
I slapped my knee, letting out an exaggerated, jovial belly laugh.
"Hahaha! I knew it! Would 'Mun' happen to be your generation name?"
"Yes, it is..."
I immediately sprang up from my seat and brought my hands together in a formal martial salute.
"To think I would meet my own granduncle from the clan in a place like this! Forgive my tardy greeting, Elder. I am Jeong Ho-yeon, of the thirty-ninth generation!"
Was he genuinely my granduncle? Hell no. My masters had pulled my name out of thin air after barely half a second of thought, so how could there be any real relation? You might ask: Was it really necessary to go so far and spin such a bold-faced lie?
Tsk, tsk. You foolish, unenlightened mortals. In a tight spot like this, raw power and authority weren't what you needed. What you needed was guanxi—connections. With the almighty bond of clan kinship, all problems vanished into thin air. Just look at him. His expression had completely transformed from moments ago.
Clearing his throat with an awkward cough, he stroked his beard and asked, "Ahem! Then... I suppose I may address you as nephew from now on?"
See? Works like a charm.
"Of course, Granduncle. Please, take a seat."
"Y-Yes, that would be for the best."
Look at him grinning like an idiot. Good grief. Normally, dodging the crisis to this degree would be enough, but I wasn't the type to stop halfway.
Thump.
"Good heavens, why are you dropping to your knees all of a sudden...?!"
When he rushed over to haul me back to my feet, I widened my eyes in fierce solemnity.
"How could I possibly sit in comfort while speaking to an elder of my own bloodline? My conscience would never permit it."
A brief silence descended upon the chamber.
...Wait, did I lay it on too thick—
"Hahaha! Contrary to your appearance, my nephew possesses truly impeccable manners! No wonder! The moment I first laid eyes on you, I thought you had the spirited look of our clan's blood running through your veins!"
Old folks really are so simple. Show them a shred of filial piety, and they instantly melt into puddles of affection.
"Haha, not at all, Granduncle. Your praise is far too generous for what is merely common decency. I am simply according an elder of our clan the respect he deserves."
"Splendid, splendid! You shall spend the evening conversing with me over drinks! Hahaha!"
To him, I was no longer an honored guest of the Jegal Clan, nor was I a degenerate gambler dragged in off the street. I was now simply bound to him by the sacred, unbreakable ties of kinship: guanxi.
While our pleasant chat stretched on, someone knocked on the door.
Knock, knock.
"Ahem! Who is it? I am in the middle of a heartfelt discussion with my nephew, tsk!"
"Sir, there are visitors outside requesting an audience."
"If it is not an urgent matter, tell them to return on the morrow."
"Well, the thing is... they have arrived from the Jegal Clan."
"R-Right now?!"
Flustered, the magistrate hurried outside. Wondering what in the world was going on, I trailed behind him, only to find a familiar face waiting in the courtyard.
"Release my master this instant—!"
Overjoyed to see her, I waved my hand.
"Oh! What brings you here?"
For some reason, however, her expression crumpled into sorrow, and she suddenly bolted straight toward me.
"Wait, hold on—"
Glomp.
She slammed into my chest, burying herself in my arms. Not only the magistrate, but every single constable in the vicinity stared at me with wide, dumbfounded eyes.
"Wait, hold on, this isn't..."
"I missed you."
"……Huh?"
After dropping such an incendiary, misunderstanding-laden line, she remained glued to my chest without another word, causing the atmosphere to take a bizarrely romantic turn.
"Everyone, look, it's not what you th—"
Just then, the magistrate firmly clapped a hand onto my shoulder. When I turned to look at him, the expression on his face was downright suspicious.
"...Nephew, you have my full blessing. When the two of you wed, I shall surely attend your nuptials."
"No, seriously, that's not it at all!"
"Hoho, there is no need to be bashful. In my younger days, my wife and I also..."
The real problem was that his warm, genial laugh, combined with him openly addressing me as his nephew, was digging the misunderstanding deeper by the second.
"Whoa, it's real."
"They're actually lovers. Is this why the young miss hasn't accepted any marriage proposals?"
Before this wildfire could spread completely out of control, I had to peel her off me. Yet no matter how hard I tried to push her away, the girl locked her fingers together with terrifying grip strength, refusing to budge. In fact, the more I resisted, the deeper she burrowed into my chest.
"Hey, let go already..."
Just then, my eyes met those of the man who had accompanied her. ...Why is that bastard glaring at me like that?
The guy was unnecessarily handsome, and the sheer venom in his stare rubbed me entirely the wrong way. Still, it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. What? Oh, he's totally jealous. And she's intentionally clinging to me just to make him burn. Are they courting? Well, they do look pretty good together. But why the hell am I getting dragged into their lovers' spat?
Sigh... Whatever. Supporting your disciple's romance is also a master's duty, I suppose.
I leaned in and whispered softly in her ear.
"Hey, So-yeong. I think you've already succeeded in making him jealous, so how about you let go of me first?"
"……Pardon?"
She looked up at me with a bewildered expression. Playing dumb, huh? Well, she was still young, so she was probably just embarrassed.
"Anyway, let go first. People are going to get the wrong idea."
Only then did the arms wrapped around my waist finally begin to loosen. Phew, freedom at last.
"……I wouldn't mind if they did."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing! Hmph."
How on earth was I supposed to respond when she talked to herself and threw a tantrum all on her own?
"Come to think of it, how did you even know I was here? Nobody should have told you."
"…The authorities sent your identification token to our clan. That's why I rushed over."
I slowly looked back over my shoulder, and the magistrate slyly averted his gaze. Sigh. What's the point of even complaining...?
"I rushed all the way here out of worry, and you don't appreciate it at all... Sniff."
When she suddenly choked up on tears, I panicked in utter flabbergasted disbelief.
"H-Hey! Don't cry! Come on!"
"Sniff, I hate you!"
She huffed off in a fit of rage, leaving me standing there dumbfounded.
The magistrate sidled up next to me and offered comfortingly, "A lovers' quarrel, I see. Love is a thorny road, my nephew. Hahaha."
...If only you'd keep your damn mouth shut, old man.
Since he was the district magistrate, I couldn't beat the snot out of him, so I gritted my teeth and forced out a parting bow.
"I shaaall take my leeave nooow."
"Ahem. Y-Yes, go right ahead."
As I turned to leave, my eyes met her 'lover's' once more. A smile played on his lips, but his eyes were still drilling daggers into me. Dating a girl with mood swings like that... you must have it rough, buddy. This is why I don't bother getting involved with women. It's nothing but a headache. ...No, seriously! Why does nobody ever believe me?
"Well, whatever. Hang in there, pal. Poor bastard."
After Ho-yeon departed, the man left behind burst into a chilling laugh.
"Pfft... hahahaha. I'm a poor bastard?"
Even the surrounding constables glanced at him with nervous, uneasy looks.
"I'll show you what happens when someone touches what's mine."
The next morning.
I woke up in my usual fluffy bed, finished my morning routine, and set out for the lecture hall. For whatever reason, I felt unusually refreshed today.
"Ah, the air is so crisp. Let's do our best today and—"
KABOOOM!
With an earth-shattering roar, the wall right beside me exploded into pieces. Emerging from the cloud of billowing dust was none other than Jegal Hyun.
"B-Brother! I'm telling you, it's not like that! It's a misunderstanding, a total misunderstanding!"
So-yeong was desperately tugging at his arm, trying to hold him back. Good grief, just what kind of trouble did she stir up to make such a gentle giant blow his lid like that?
"Young Patriarch, please calm down for a sec—wait, what?"
Contrary to my expectation that his fury was aimed at his sister, his face was flushed crimson with rage as he strode menacingly straight toward me.
"Uh... why are you coming this way...?"
Before I knew it, he towered right in front of me, his colossal, bear-like frame practically blotting out the sun. Thinking there must be some terrible misunderstanding, I ventured a cautious inquiry.
"Y-Young Patriarch? What brings you here so sud—"
"I've heard the rumors. You... you dare... phew... secretly meet with my younger sister with marriage in mind... Is that true?!"
His massive fist was slowly curling and rising... That's just my imagination, right?
"Wait, what kind of nonsense is that...?! Absolutely not! Ask So-yeong yourself! If anything, she practically hates my guts!"
"I-It's not that I hate you, it's more like fondness... I-I don't know anymore!"
She suddenly dropped her head, her voice trailing off in the most suspiciously guilty, misunderstanding-inducing way humanly possible. The moment Jegal Hyun witnessed that reaction, murderous intent rolled off him in suffocating waves.
"H-Hold on... wait, that's not—"
"WAAAAAGHHH!! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!"
WHOOSH—!
KRA-BOOOOOM—!!!