Chapter 24
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 24
Chapter Title: I Came to Beat You Up
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I'm the guy who came to beat you up.
"...You fucking bastard!"
Whoosh-
With the sound of slicing through the air, Min-su the hotpants-wearing pussy hound came charging in to start a fight!
"Gah, Prince Cock-mon!... No, wait."
Swinging his arm in a huge, menacing arc.
If you saw that fierce face twisted in rage as he rushed forward... anyone would turn tail and run.
But not me.
'Fucking slow as hell.'
Honestly, for all the flashy motion, he was way too sluggish.
To exaggerate a bit, even the neighborhood stray dog would be more intimidating.
'Does this idiot have no clue about... weight class difference?'
Not just the weight gap... the height difference was obvious to the eye.
Min-su was about 160 cm... while I towered well over 180.
A good 20 cm difference...
And yet Min-su showed no signs of stopping.
The advantages from arm length and leg reach alone...
......
As I pondered his poor judgment and a bunch of other thoughts, Min-su's blunt fist closed in right up to my nose.
Short height, stubby fingers too.
'Isn't this straight-up goblin territory...?'
Don't tell me... excluding S-Rank Kim Cheolsu, all other guys are shaped this pathetically...?
A reasonable suspicion.
Most men absolutely hated having their personal info exposed in the media.
The reason was obvious: it meant more potential wife candidates flooding in.
Typical guys were either C-Rank impotent males who couldn't even get it up, or B-Rank ones who could barely manage to cum...
These two types got lumped in as "normals."
Normals usually ended up with 1 or 2 wives.
They lived like extreme shut-ins to avoid media exposure, so they didn't have much contact with women.
That's why marrying the woman they saw the most—mom or a sister—became the norm.
With science advancing to fix all the genetic issues from incest, the government even encouraged it.
Truth be told, the government pushed polygamy harder than incest... but men were so passive, aggressive... touchy, that society's vibe prioritized male preferences...
'As long as sex boosts birth rates, we're good!'
...They tried to console themselves like that.
Against this modern social vibe, the grades that didn't mind media exposure—and even sought it out to hog the spotlight—were A-Rank and S-Rank.
'Min-su... looks like that, but maybe he's A or even S-Rank...'
Like mutants... some B-Ranks pulled that shit too, but it was damn near impossible.
'With that cocky bullshit confidence... gotta be at least A-Rank.'
Didn't matter.
A-Rank, S-Rank... whatever Min-su was, I was superior hands down.
In this world right now, no male outranked me.
Especially because...
"Raaah!!!!!!!"
If I felt threatened by a weak-ass mob like this...
'Time to snip the little dick off.'
A guy who lost to an eliminated male like Min-su didn't deserve to live as a man...
Like the lead lion of a pride trembling at a mere rabbit.
That's what Min-su was.
'Fucking weak bitch.'
The kind that'd snap from a light tap.
That's why I held back.
No counterpunch. Just let his fist glance off.
- Swoosh.
A simple sidestep, and Min-su's punch lost all direction.
"Wha—?!"
- Thud crash!!!!
His wayward fist sliced through empty air, and Min-su ate shit spectacularly.
Poor guy face-planted right onto the cafe floor...
Seeing that, I...
"Pfft...!"
Burst out laughing.
'No... come on, it's hilarious.'
A goblin-lookin' fucker trips over his own punch.
The idea alone was funny, but Min-su nailed the execution 100%.
This was pure "laughter dilemma"—no escaping the giggles.
"Ow...! Ugh..."
Min-su looked like it hurt bad.
'How weak do you gotta be to hurt that much from tripping yourself?'
Good thing I didn't counter.
If I had...
Lucky? Fracture.
Unlucky? I'd cave in his ugly mug and birth a flattened-face Min-su.
"Ugh...! You bastard! Dodging like a coward?! S-Scared???!!!!!"
Face beet red, finger-pointing, voice raised.
...Still one with the cafe floor.
'Even pissed off like that...'
He just went from ugly Min-su to floor-splayed ugly pissed Min-su.
Such feeble rage.
Not enough for a real fight.
I needed to rile him up more.
"Sigh, retard... Talking shit from the floor like a loser? No wonder your girl's too stingy to buy you tteokbokki..."
"...What?"
"You're a retard, you retard fuck. My little sis would pop some in my mouth going 'Big bro~ Have some tteokbokki~' even mid-shift... Guess your girl won't?"
"......"
"Makes sense... Why would she splurge on a real cockless reject's sloppy seconds pussy? Especially since you're... ugly as sin..."
"......You motherfucking bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tat-tat-!
Min-su, who'd been practically fucking the floor Platonically...
'Shit... is that a human face?'
Staring at his world's-most-repulsive face twisted in the world's shittiest rage as he charged murderously...
- Swoosh...!
My body instinctively prepped a low kick.
This way... our muscle thighs would collide and boom.
Of course, the explosion's victim would be solo: Min-su's exclusive agony.
'Gently... as gentle as possible...'
Ease off so no broken bones.
A retard who couldn't handle his own punch recoil... if my low kick landed full force?
'First murder in 100 lives in this world...'
No clue on the past 99 lives, but I doubt I killed anyone.
But the 100th...
In this sweet world waiting with Elisicia's happy harem pure-love sex life, snag first kill on day one?
'How could I face Elisicia...'
Desperately pulled power from my leg.
'This fucker's face is unmanaged trash...'
His shitty face filled my eyes, so a bit of residual force slipped in for a super-light low kick.
Smack-!
Super light... but fatal to Min-su.
"GaaahhhAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!!!"
Min-su rolled all over the cafe floor like he was dying.
Clutching the left leg I'd nailed perfectly, rolling oblivious to how wrecked his face was getting.
Then right in front of me, head to the ground, body convulsing as he endured the pain.
'Even his pain face is hatefuel.'
Good thing I'm handsome.
If I hurt someone... I'd fail as a real man.
...Min-su types excluded, obviously.
Way too ugly.
"What... just a graze on the thigh and shin... why's he hurting like that? Dude's muscle density subnormal or something...?"
"Seen guys trash-talk plenty... but guys actually brawling like this? First time."
Whispers from the crowd about our fight.
No need to recap.
I'd win anyway.
"Whoa... that guy's insanely hot... I think I just got a little wet...?"
"Crazy bitch.... ......Me too."
Girls around Chae-eun's age muttering.
'Nah, my face matters more than the fight......'
Had to admit, unlike my past lives, this face was ridiculously handsome.
"Grrraaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
Min-su still humping the cafe floor, groaning away.
'Not dead, right?'
Accidental kill would land me in jail before harem-building even started.
"Hey, Kim Min-su... you alive?"
"Urgh...! My name's not Kim Min-su, it's Park Min-su...! You braindead parasite...!"
"Whatever... as long as you're breathing..."
"You bastard...! Urk...! Look what you did...! Coward...!"
"Sigh..."
Drooling spit on the floor while bitching at me.
'Look at those neck veins popping.'
Sight made my throat dry...
Approached Chae-eun, who'd been watching Min-su and me from the counter with interest.
"Chae-eun."
"Eek?! O-Oppa! What's up? Want something to eat?"
"Yeah, just a glass of water, bro."
"W-Water? If you're hot, wanna try an iced Americano...?"
"Anything... hurry up."
With that, Chae-eun whipped up a coffee in a flash.
And tidied the floor.
And deep-cleaned the whole shop.
'She's superhuman too...'
"Here, oppa!"
"Oh, thanks."
"Hehe...!"
"Iced? Nice pick, Chae-eun—you know me."
"Yup~! I know everything oppa likes...!"
Oh... that might be kinda scary.
Sipping the iced Americano Chae-eun made while eyeing Min-su...
Min-su suddenly stopped raging, leered at Chae-eun, and smirked.
"Heh heh... that bitch ain't bad... I'll give her a shot at being my third wife candidate!"
"......?"
...Min-su just crossed the irreversible river.