Looking for a Maid
"Ohhh, the Swordmaster slays a dragon~"
...What kind of lyrics are those?
I sipped my drink while listening to the bard's song. It was a sweet beverage made from melted chocolate, yet it tasted bitter on my tongue.
I was starting to understand why adults drank alcohol. Reality was so bitter that even the bitterest liquor would taste sweet by comparison.
"You don't look well. Should I have him stop after all?"
"The Blue King ordered it. How am I supposed to stop that?"
"At least have him tone it down inside the guild..."
"It's fine. Leave him be. His Majesty the Blue King must have his reasons."
Rebecca, who had brought over a stack of request forms, seemed to pick up on my sour mood and offered to kick the bard out. I stopped her and had her sit down, at which point her expression immediately brightened into a cheerful smile as she started laying out the request forms one by one.
Guess she didn't really want to stop him either...
"Yes! It's been so long since you last visited, Evan, so requests have piled up like this. Here's the recommended route. Hunt cockatrices in this inner area, then loop around..."
I nodded, agreeing to follow Rebecca's advice, tucked the map into my coat, and stood up. I was about to head straight out on the mission when I remembered I needed to find someone to manage the dojo.
"Oh right — can I hire people here too?"
"Pardon? Yes, of course. This is the Adventurer Guild. We have people who primarily do mercenary work as well."
"Then please put up a job posting for me. Someone good at housework — cleaning, laundry, that sort of thing."
"Understood. But why the sudden hiring...?"
"I need someone to manage my house."
Rebecca's eyes sparkled at those words. I figured it was just the light reflecting off them and paid it no mind as I left the Adventurer Guild.
Right after Evan left, Rebecca began replaying the conditions he'd mentioned, her imagination running wild.
He needs someone to manage his house? That's basically...
Wasn't that the same as looking for a wife? He'd clearly said he needed someone to live in the same house and take care of him—
Of course, Evan had never said anything about living together, and he'd only asked for someone to do housework, not to be a devoted wife — but those words had already been completely scrubbed from Rebecca's mind.
...Should I quit?
Back at her desk for work, Rebecca stared at the mountain of documents piled in front of her and pondered. What if she quit her guild job with its measly salary and became the Swordmaster's wife instead?
"Rebecca? Aren't you working?"
"H-huh? Oh! Yeah! I should!"
Of course, that fantasy didn't last long. After thinking it over carefully, she realized there was no way someone of the Swordmaster's caliber would be looking for a housewife to do chores.
If anything, it would be a housekeeper for the housework, or a maid who lived in and managed everything—
...Wait a second?
Rebecca had been thinking she'd just post a maid wanted ad when she suddenly realized what she was actually recruiting: a maid for the Swordmaster.
Was it really okay to casually hire a maid for someone equivalent to a viscount — a near-noble? Moreover, the Swordmaster was a superhuman. A uniquely special individual that every nation and organization had their eyes on. What if a spy from another country or organization slipped in through a carelessly posted maid ad?
And what if that spy tried to sway Evan — or worse, assassinate him?
This is bad.
It wouldn't end with simply losing a Special Class adventurer and the Swordmaster. The kingdom would thoroughly investigate how such a thing could have happened, and the fact that the guild had arranged the maid would come to light. The Adventurer Guild would be held responsible for the reckless hiring, and she herself wouldn't escape unscathed either.
Of course, all of this was pure speculation — a possibility of less than 0.01% — but Rebecca couldn't afford to overlook even that slim chance. After all, wasn't Evan slaying a dragon at the tender age of fifteen and earning the title of Swordmaster also a probability of less than 0.01%?
I-I need to report this to the Guildmaster!
And so the matter of finding Evan's servant went from the Guildmaster to guild headquarters. From there, word reached the royal palace in less than half a day.
Having completed every last mission and returned, Evan let out a sound of admiration when the beaming Rebecca told him the job posting was already filled.
As expected of the Adventurer Guild. Finding someone in a little over half a day — true to an organization that finds people and assigns them requests.
"Where is she?"
"She's waiting at your residence."
"Ah, is that so? How much is the salary and all that?"
"Fortunately, support came through for your Swordmaster title, Evan. Completely free of charge!"
"Uh — I never heard anything about that?"
Since no such benefit had been among the ones the Guildmaster had told him about, he tilted his head and asked again, but Rebecca just laughed it off with an ahaha. Figuring it was such a minor perk they hadn't bothered mentioning it, he nodded and headed for the dojo — only to find the dojo door wide open.
Thwack— thwack— The sound of something being vigorously beaten — bedding, by the sound of it — drifted out. Wondering if she was already cleaning, Evan peeked his head in and made his way past the dojo toward the backyard.
"Hello..."
"—You've arrived, Master."
"...Uh, uh-huh. Yes."
And there, he came face to face with a woman in a maid uniform so short that even a slight bend would leave nothing to the imagination.
Purple hair cut just short enough to brush her shoulders, one side of her forehead completely exposed — her appearance was so distinctive that once you'd seen her, you'd never forget her. She lightly grasped the hem of her skirt and offered a greeting.
"My name is Penelope. Starting today, I shall serve as your maid, Master. I look forward to working with you."
"Y-yes. Looking forward to it..."
"Then may I finish what I was doing? The weather is lovely today..."
"Ah, yes."
With Evan's permission, Penelope turned her back and resumed vigorously beating the bedding. Thwack, thwack— Every time she put force into it, her skirt fluttered and swayed.
Each time her undergarments peeked out beneath, Evan realized his heart was pounding madly. It was just a scrap of cloth — if anything, a barrier meant to hide something precious — and yet that barrier somehow struck him square in the chest.
"U-um—!"
"Yes, Master. Please speak."
"Doesn't that skirt seem a bit... too short?"
"My apologies. This is all we have for summer wear... If it bothers you, I shall change into winter clothes."
"N-no! It's fine!"
At her explanation that it was summer wear and couldn't be helped, Evan nodded as if convinced. Right, it was summer — there was no helping it. He couldn't make his maid collapse by forcing her into long, thick winter clothes in this heat. He didn't want to be the kind of garbage master who committed such an outrage on day one.
"Th-then I'll be inside training! Come get me if you need anything!"
"Understood, Master."
Stealing glances at her figure from behind, Evan tore his gaze away with superhuman willpower and headed straight into the dojo. Then he let out a gasp of admiration at the impossibly sparkling dojo. He'd cleaned it himself to the best of his ability, but a professional's touch was on another level entirely.
You really can't judge by appearance alone...
Stepping across the creaking wooden floorboards to the center of the dojo, Evan picked up a wooden sword and focused his mind. Having grasped the Seamless Heavenly Garment, he felt as though he could see a clue to go even further.
To seize that clue, he swung his sword. He swung and swung again. By the time the once-clean floorboards were soaked with the sweat he'd shed, Evan slowly came to a stop.
"Haa, haa—"
How many hours had he been swinging? He'd swung without even keeping track of time... so he wasn't even sure what hour it was now. What was certain was that it had become a dim night, with starlight faintly twinkling.
Ah— I didn't prepare bathwater. What a hassle...
"I've finished preparing your bath, Master."
"Uh, uh-huh?"
Startled by the sudden voice, Evan whipped his head around — and there stood Penelope, who had somehow entered without him noticing. She naturally handed him a towel, and Evan wiped away his sweat as he looked at her.
"...How long have you been standing there?"
"Not long."
"No, that's not what I mean... From now on, it could be dangerous, so please don't come in unannounced."
"My apologies, Master. I shall be more careful next time."
"...Yes, as long as you weren't hurt."
Only then remembering that he had hired a maid, Evan felt a quiet joy at not having to prepare his own bath and headed for the bathroom. He put his sweat-soaked clothes, undergarments, and the towel he'd just used into the laundry basket by the door, then stepped into the bathtub filled with hot water — only to realize belatedly that he hadn't brought a change of undergarments.
Even if she was a maid, someone who'd only just arrived today wouldn't know where his clothes were — thinking that, Evan stepped back out of the bathroom.
And locked eyes with Penelope, who had her face buried in his sweat-soaked clothes.
"Mmmph... sniiiff, haaah— so this is Master's..."
Time seemed to freeze for a moment.
Thinking he must have seen wrong, Evan blinked hard — and in the span of those blinks, Penelope stuffed the clothes back into the basket and opened her mouth without so much as a twitch of her eyebrow.
"Is something the matter, Master?"
"No, just now..."
"Nothing happened. Isn't that right?"
Evan lost his words and retreated back into the bathroom.
Penelope thoughtfully brought him a change of undergarments on her own.