008. Sense of Distance (3)
008. Sense of Distance (3)
The next day, my dongsaeng went out to meet Hyeonseo just as she said she would.
I asked Haeun-i, who was putting on her sneakers at the front door.
"Wanna me to drive you there?"
"I'm fine. I'll go by myself and take a look around the neighborhood while I'm at it."
"Call me later if you need to. I'll come pick you up."
"Got it."
My dongsaeng waved her hand a couple of times and disappeared into the inner part of the village.
Returning inside the house, I stood alone in the kitchen and brewed some coffee.
"...."
It's quiet.
The whole house was so quiet it felt almost empty.
"...Hmm."
At times like this, doing backlogged chores makes time fly by.
I already finished the dishes earlier.
The laundry is running right now.
Cleaning... I did that not too long ago.
"...?"
Wait, there's nothing actually backlogged?
I was momentarily flustered.
Back when I lived alone, chores were constantly piling up every single day.
After pondering for a moment, I thought I might as well kick back and watch a movie.
Holding my coffee, I sat on the sofa and turned on the streaming service.
"Mmh...."
Wondering what to watch, I put on a sci-fi movie.
It was a story about a bizarre-looking alien monster teaming up with a broken humanoid to slice up the villains.
I picked it without thinking much, but the direction was surprisingly great, so I got quite immersed.
As expected, you really shouldn't judge anything just by its cover.
I wonder if Haeun-i has seen this too.
Judging by yesterday, she seemed to be weak against scary stuff.
"...."
While I was at it, I shortlisted a few horror movies.
I should tell her to watch these with me later.
At the thought of teasing my dongsaeng, a smile crept onto my lips before I knew it.
**
It was past nine at night when my dongsaeng came back.
I raised my head at the sound of the front door opening.
Haeun-i came into the house while taking off her shoes.
A faint flush remained on her face.
"You're a bit late."
"Yeah. The buses stopped running because it's the weekend, so I took a taxi."
"Why didn't you just call me?"
"I got so caught up chatting with eonni that I forgot."
My dongsaeng's voice was slightly excited.
Looks like she had quite a lot of fun.
"What about dinner?"
"Eonni bought me dak-galbi and it was delicious. Let's go together next time. What about you, oppa?"
"I ate too."
"What did you eat?"
"Just whatever was at home."
Soy sauce egg rice combined with sesame oil is always right.
Since I was alone anyway, it was too much of a bother to cook a lavish meal.
Haeun-i sat on the sofa and then flopped down sideways just like that.
Her top rolled up slightly, revealing her belly button.
Sigh, so careless as always.
I gently grabbed the hem of my dongsaeng's shirt and pulled it down.
"So what did you do today?"
"Well..., this and that...? We mostly hung out downtown."
Come to think of it, there really aren't any places in this village for two girls to hang around.
"But there wasn't as much to do as I thought."
"That's natural. Given what kind of neighborhood this is."
"So next time, the four of us—you, me, Hyeonseo-eonni, and her dongsaeng—are going to hang out at the valley stream."
"...Huh?"
Haeun-i suddenly dropped a bombshell declaration.
When I looked at her with an absurd expression, she grinned cheekily.
"Hey, how can you decide something like that without even asking me?"
"That's why I'm telling you right now?"
"This is an announcement, not a consultation."
"You've got plenty of free time anyway, oppa. Looking at you these past few days, you don't even go out anywhere."
"...That may be true, but still, you should have asked me in advance."
I'm someone who has my own schedule too.
Even though there are plenty of blank spots on my calendar.
"So you don't wanna go?"
"...."
As if I wouldn't want to.
It's true that I don't really have anything to do, just as Haeun-i said.
And it's also true that I'm happy to see my dongsaeng looking much brighter.
...Why do I feel like the upper hand was snatched away from me?
Staring blankly at my dongsaeng, she was smiling brightly.
As if she thought I would obviously follow along.
"...What if I say I'm not going?"
I can't just yield obediently like this.
I was just thinking whether I had been acting too soft on my dongsaeng anyway.
No matter how urgent the situation was in the chaotic dawn, still.
An oppa holding his dongsaeng and massaging her lower belly—that picture looks weird.
...That's why I had such a strange dream, too.
That was definitely a warning sent by my subconscious.
A warning not to get dragged around by the hair while doing everything my dongsaeng asks... well, something like that.
"Really? You're really not going?"
"I'll be busy then."
"I didn't even tell you when it is yet?"
"I plan to be busy for the foreseeable future."
"Liar. Don't joke around."
"I'm not joking. Since I've rested all this time, I should slowly start looking for work."
My dongsaeng asked back a few times as if unable to believe it, then gradually started to look glum.
"You're really not going...?"
"...."
Hey, looking at me with that kind of face makes me feel like a bad guy.
"Okay... I'll tell eonni that oppa is busy and can't go..."
My dongsaeng pulled out her phone with a gloomy expression.
I hurriedly waved my hands in denial.
"Wait a minute! I was just messing with you, just joking...!"
"...Then can you go?"
"...Yeah. Of course we should go together."
At that, my dongsaeng slowly curled up the corners of her mouth and smirked.
"Right? I knew it."
"...."
I was played.
It was all an act.
**
A few days passed after that.
The weather got progressively hotter,
and my dongsaeng quickly adapted to countryside life.
Waking up in the morning to water the flowerbed,
rolling around a bit after lunch, and then doing our own tasks.
Such a peaceful daily routine continued.
"So hottt..."
My dongsaeng, sweating profusely, was standing in front of the electric fan, venting air into her T-shirt.
The front of her shirt, puffed up with air, swayed helplessly back and forth.
I spoke while folding laundry.
"Why don't you just turn on the AC?"
"Then it gets cold, so I don't like it."
"Turn it on with the window open. Or put something on over yourself and turn it on."
"The electricity bill will be high."
"We won't go broke over that much, so just turn it on. You can just leave it on for a bit and turn it off."
It was hot enough to see heat haze beyond the wall.
Sweat poured down even while sitting still, so there was no reason to keep the AC off.
My dongsaeng seemed to hesitate for a moment, then nodded.
"Then I'll just turn it on for 10 minutes."
"You can turn it on for an hour."
"It's not that bad."
My dongsaeng turned on the AC and crouched down where the breeze reached.
Then she curled up, pulling her knees inside her oversized T-shirt.
"If you do that, the collar of your T-shirt will stretch out again."
"It's baggy so it's fine."
"That's mine, you know."
"Since oppa gave it to me, it's mine now."
"Because you took everything, I don't even have pajamas left."
"Then buy new ones."
"...."
Why does this kid seem to get more shameless by the day?
I don't know where that hesitant side of her went from when she first came to the house.
"...Put these away first."
"Okay."
My dongsaeng got up from her spot and went into the room carrying the neatly folded towels.
The hem of her T-shirt slid down so much that not only her shoulder but even her shoulder blade was visible.
"...."
It really is strange after all.
I've thought about it for a few days,
no matter how comfortable she feels around me, this seems a bit much.
Why on earth is she walking around without underwear?
Seeing panties come out in the laundry, it's not like she doesn't wear any at all.
Why is she walking around topless underneath?
If it's because it's hot, she could at least wear something comfortable that absorbs sweat well.
Like a cotton sports bra or something.
It's great that I've gotten closer with my dongsaeng, but this is a level where the sense of distance is literally zero.
Is it really okay to be this unreserved?
"I put them away."
"...Yeah."
My dongsaeng flopped onto the floor.
The front of her T-shirt squished around freely.
"...."
As expected, she isn't wearing one.
Flabbergasted, I stared blankly at my dongsaeng, and Haeun-i glanced at me before tilting her head.
"What?"
"...Nothing."
Hesitating for a moment, I just shook my head.
Is she doing that without knowing, or is she doing it even though she knows?
In the meantime, my dongsaeng crawled over.
Then she started tickling my knees with her hair.
"...What are you doing?"
"Play with me."
"Can't you see I'm folding laundry? You're in the way."
"That's why you should finish quickly and play with me."
"...."
I let out a soft sigh and finished tidying up the laundry.
When I returned after putting the clothes into the drawers, my dongsaeng was lying spread-eagled in the middle of the living room on her phone.
I sat down a little distance away from my dongsaeng with my legs stretched out, using the sofa as a backrest.
While I was healing myself watching puppy videos on YouTube, something heavy suddenly plopped onto my legs.
My dongsaeng was looking up at me with her cheek pressed against my thighs.
"What are you watching that makes you smile so slyly?"
"Me?"
"Yeah. Your mouth kept twitching. Did you watch something dirty?"
"...I'm watching puppies, puppies."
I turned the phone around to show my dongsaeng the video I had just been watching.
On the screen, cute Sigor-Zav-Jong mutts were spinning their tails like propellers and licking hands.
Even so, what kind of oppa would watch dirty stuff right next to his younger sister?
"Do you like puppies, oppa?"
"They're cute. I've always liked animals."
"Hmm... But there are plenty of puppies like these in our village too. Hyeonseo-eonni's place has one too."
"That feels different from watching them in a video."
Replying nonchalantly, I looked back at my phone.
My dongsaeng puffed her cheeks out slightly and poked my belly with her finger.
"Oh. It's solid."
"That tickles. Stop it."
Ignoring my words completely, she stroked her hand back and forth over my belly.
"What the, oppa, your body is better than I thought. Do you happen to have a six-pack too?"
"...Because I worked out hard back when I was in the military."
Whenever my head was cluttered, I used to go to the gym room and work out until exhaustion.
Working out was good for washing away idle thoughts.
"Really? Can't you show me just once?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Just because."
"What kind of answer is that?"
"Right here."
"Ah, come on, show me. It's not like it wears away."
It doesn't wear away, but I don't want to show her.
Since they aren't muscles built to show off to my dongsaeng anyway.
And...,
I'm feeling a bit embarrassed too.
"There must have been plenty of people with better bodies than mine at the athletes' village."
"I'm not really sure? I never paid attention to that kind of thing."
"...."
Haeun-i looked up at me nonchalantly.
She narrowed her eyes and reached out her hand to lift up the hem of my T-shirt.
A single drop of sweat flowed down her neck, trickling past her collarbone and disappearing into the inside of her chest.
...As expected, I can't let this slide.
I need to say something.
"Hey, Yoo Haeun."
"Huh?"
"Why aren't you wearing underwear?"
Haeun-i looked up at me while holding onto the hem of her T-shirt.
Because of the angle of looking up from below, her eyes looked unusually large.
"Because it's hot."
"No matter how comfortable you feel around me, you should observe basic manners. Don't you know our family is a strict Confucian household?"
"Nope."
"I'm telling you now, so wear them from now on."
"...I don't wanna. It gets sweaty."
"Seriously, this girl... If you keep acting like this, you won't be able to get married. A leaking bucket inside the house leaks outside too, you know?"
Then Haeun-i gave a slight smile.
"I'm not gonna get married though?"
"...What kind of talk is that again?"
Haeun-i turned her body around and lay down using my legs as a pillow.
And she looked up at me with a serious expression as she spoke.
"Do you want me to get married, oppa? With some guy I don't even know?"
"Why would you marry a stranger? You meet different people and choose a good person among them."
It's not that she has to live like everyone else, but I do want to see my dongsaeng meet a good person someday and live happily.
"I... don't really care to go that far. I don't even know if I could have a proper romantic relationship."
"Why wouldn't you be able to?"
"You know why, oppa."
"...."
"And I told you last time. I have high standards."
"...Still."
Because I gave up long ago.
At least I hope my dongsaeng won't turn into a messed-up person like me.
"Worry about yourself, oppa. You're the one who might not be able to get married because of me."
"...Why?"
"Because if you bring just anyone, I won't let you marry her."
"Do I need your permission to get married?"
"Then were you going to do it behind my back?"
She looks at me with a face asking what obvious thing I'm questioning.
"Since omma isn't here, I have to look after you. Someone like you, oppa, is weak to affection, so if someone approaches you with bad intentions and seduces you, you'd fall for it right away."
"Hey, what... I'm not like that."
My dongsaeng snickered.
"Anyway, be prepared. Your dongsaeng is a mean sister-in-law, so if I dislike her even a little bit, I won't give my approval."
"......."
Haeun-ah.
I can't live with you taking care of you for the rest of my life.
—I swallowed those words down tightly.
"...I'm not getting married either. There's no woman I want to marry anyway."
My dongsaeng widened her eyes roundly and blinked.
"Why? Someone might appear later."
"Well..."
I am...
someone who desires a lot,
yet hardly ever considers adjusting to others.
Such a selfish bastard.
I don't know how to open my heart completely to someone else either,
and I'm afraid of pouring out time and emotions uselessly only to get hurt.
A person who doesn't even start relationships in the first place.
That is the kind of human being I am.
"...Probably not."
I shrugged my shoulders and glossed it over.
Because I can't tell my dongsaeng all the way down to things like this.
Haeun-i was still looking at me.
"Then the two of us will have to keep living together? Until one of us dies of old age?"
"Don't say such gross things."
"Do you find me gross, oppa?"
"No, that's not what I mean."
"Then what is it?"
"...I'm saying we don't know what will happen yet, so let's not think too deeply about it."
I subtly shifted the conversation.
The air was starting to turn cool, so I turned off the air conditioner.
My dongsaeng wriggled her body and turned sideways toward me.
I felt warm body heat over my thighs.
"...Haeun-ah."
I stroked my dongsaeng's hair.
Glossy brown hair slipped between my fingers.
"Yeah."
"Don't you have any thought of studying for the CSAT?"
My dongsaeng narrowed her eyes.
"...To go to college?"
"Yeah. You said you were curious about college life too."
"...."
I continued to fiddle with my dongsaeng's hair.
Because it was soft,
and smelled nice.
My hand wouldn't stop.
"...I don't really know."
My dongsaeng mumbled softly.
"I... do want to try going to college too. But not right now."
"...Is that so?"
"Yeah. It's not like I can go just because I want to..."
"Why not? You were good at studying until middle school."
"...I only did sports after that. My brain has gone stiff, so I can't get into an In-Seoul university."
"You won't know that until you try. And it doesn't strictly have to be In-Seoul."
You never know how things will turn out in life.
Even if you graduate from a good university, you could end up living as an unemployed person in the countryside like me.
"Still... if I do go, I'd want to go to the same place as you, oppa."
"Specifically? There are plenty of other places."
"...Because I want to know. Where oppa lived... and how you lived all this time."
"...."
I shut my mouth tight.
Bringing up something like that out of nowhere is a foul play.
Then Haeun-i suddenly pushed herself up.
She snatched the phone I was holding, set it down beside us, and hugged me tightly, practically straddling onto my stomach.
"...Hey."
Heavy,
warm,
and ticklish.
Beyond a single thin T-shirt,
my dongsaeng's soft body heat pressed against me.
I should tell her to get off, but the words wouldn't come out.
"...Oppa."
My dongsaeng whispered in my ear.
In an instant, goosebumps broke out on the back of my neck.
"I like things just the way they are right now."
"...."
"So don't make that kind of face."
Leaving behind only those words,
Haeun-i buried her face in my shoulder.
Her moist breath tickles my nape.
My dongsaeng's arms loosely wrapped around my waist.
Not knowing where to put my hands,
wandering aimlessly through the air,
I eventually rested them gently on my dongsaeng's back.
I felt her sleek curves through her T-shirt.
"...."
I had forgotten.
That touching bodies with someone and sharing warmth...
was this cozy.
The tension slowly loosened.
No strength went into my arms.
I held out and held out, but eventually all my strength drained away.
Naturally, I buried my cheek against my dongsaeng's nape.
"...."
There was a fragrance.
Smelling somewhat familiar,
yet at the same time unfamiliar.
My pulse quickened slightly.
I gave a very gentle squeeze to the arms holding my dongsaeng.
...I don't know why I did that.
But I didn't want to lose the warmth inside my arms.
After embracing each other like that for a long while,
by the time we separated, we were both already drenched in sweat.